It was 4:00p.m and Fumiko was outside of Aiyana's house,putting the yellow stringlights up around the driveway and the top part of roof above Aiyana's door.She already told Aiyana she had something very important to tell her at 6:00p.m and to come outside when she heard a ring of her doorbell around that time.Fumiko was so nervous,but she was ready to ask Aiyana to be her date to the homecoming dance.
Eventually,she was going ask Aiyana could they ever be more than friends.Deep down,Fumiko had a feeling it was very possible since they been everything else besides girlfriends.They been rivals,friends,and they are currently best friends.What else could get in the way of a potential fate and future for the two of them?
Once Fumiko installed all of the lights she wanted to put up,she just stared at Aiyana's door."I hope more than anything you will be my date to the homecoming dance...I need to know there's something more between us,Aiyana."Fumiko said,looking at the door as if Aiyana was standing right in front of her.
Fumiko walked off of Aiyana's doorstep,making her way out of the driveway and heading back home.Fumiko had 2 hours before the sun went down and it was time to ask Aiyana to the homecoming dance.That was a lot of time she had on her hands,but it didn't faze Fumiko at all.She needed to take a shower,wash her hair,and pick out a nice outfit to wear for this evening.2 hours was just enough time to everything she needed to do.
Fumiko already practiced what she was going to do in chronological order for her promposal to Aiyana.First,she was going to ring Aiyana's doorbell and wait for her to come outside.Then,she was to run to the middle of Aiyana's driveway and turn the lights surrounding Aiyana's house with the mini remote control she had.Lastly,Fumiko would read the poem she wrote to Aiyana as her way of asking her to be her date to the homecoming dance.
Fumiko was confident that Aiyana would say yes,but she was also worried she would reject her.Fumiko was afraid that after all the time she spent trying to make everything work,her heart would broken tonight at 6:00p.m by being the victim of an unrequited love.
"Technically,Aiyana would be the victim if she doesn't like me back,but I'm going to be the one who suffers."Fumiko said to herself,looking down at her feet as she approached her mansion.
"Doesn't suffering make the difference between victim and perpetrator?"Fumiko asked herself in a soft tone,opening the door and closing it.In Fumiko's opinion and her firsthand experience with suffering,the answer was quite obvious and there was no reason to give an answer to a question that was pretty obvious.
But,she did have a problem with calling or even describing Aiyana as a perpetrator when she didn't do anything wrong.Yes,she would be heartbroken if Aiyana didn't return her feelings or even go to the homecoming dance with her...but she wouldn't a bad person for hypothetically not liking Fumiko romantically.
It was a very stressful and disappointing thing to think about right before the night Fumiko is supposed to ask Aiyana to the homecoming dance,but Fumiko understood she had to prepare herself for almost any outcome of putting her feelings out on the line like that.Even the outcomes that were the most undesirable or upsetting to her,she knew she couldn't ignore them or she would be trying to blind herself by wearing rose-tined glasses in a crystal clear world.
Fumiko took off her long,brown boots and socks & put her socks in her boots without wasting any extra time.She knew needed to spend that time doing something more important.Fumiko raced to the stairs quickly after putting her shoes up in an organized manner.Fumiko hurried up the long set of stairs as fast as she could without tripped over the stairs or her own feet.
Once she made it up to the hallway where her room was located,Fumiko took a towel and a sponge from the bathroom supply cabinet.She placed the folded towel on the toilet seat along with the sponge while simultaneously rushing to her room to get her perfume and scented body cream.After getting everything she needed that wasn't in her bathroom,Fumiko started to get undressed from her jeans down to her bra.
She put all of her clothes in the dirty clothes' basket,which was sitting directly under the racks for used sponges.Fumiko opened the shower curtain and turned the knob to a setting that would be comfortably hot,but not scolding hot or painfully hot.She let the water warm up as she brushed her teeth for 2 minutes before gargling with mouthwash.
Fumiko took the sponge that was sitting on her towel,a bottle of her shampoo,and conditioner that was under the sink and got in the shower,just letting the water hit her entire body before doing anything just yet.She wanted to take a minute or two to just breathe and truly not think about anything at all.
Fumiko has spent the last few days worrying about something that was stressing her out and she didn't have any time for herself.Whether it was about her huge crush on Aiyana and hoping Aiyana would reciprocate her feelings,if Aiyana would go to the homecoming dance with her because she felt the same way about Fumiko,or if she would even find true love elsewhere if Aiyana didn't like her back.
She was putting herself last and it was showing with how anxious & emotionally drained she was becoming.Fumiko had stop thinking about everything that could go wrong or what may go wrong,she needed to start thinking about everything that could go right or what may go right.She needed to fill her head with positive thoughts and memories about her current relationship with Aiyana to combat all of the preconceived notions about how Aiyana will react to something she hasn't even done yet.
Fumiko knew that Aiyana really cares about her and she would never do or say anything to hurt her."If she didn't care about me,she wouldn't have stopped me from saying bad things about myself...even that's how I truly feel about myself."Fumiko thought to herself,trying to remember the reality of how Aiyana feels about her.
"She also wouldn't care about my feelings as much as she does or try to comfort me in my times of need,but she always does and she has ever since elementary school."Fumiko thought to herself,feeling a profuse amount of uplifting emotion and a bittersweet happiness.
She suspected that her obsessive and intrusive thoughts are what's warping her reality about Aiyana's feelings towards her.Fumiko also thinks fear played a role in why she thinks Aiyana might reject her in a way that might hurt her.Even though she knows Aiyana extremely well,Fumiko doesn't how Aiyana might feel about her asking her to be her date to the homecoming dance.
She also didn't know Aiyana's sexuality either,which played a major role in fueling Fumiko's insecurities.Fumiko felt like it might be weird for her to ask a girl who might be straight to the homecoming dance when she likes her romantically.
Maybe Aiyana wouldn't even think about her sexual orientation when deciding on whether or not she wanted to go to the homecoming dance with Fumiko.A completely different possibility that didn't even cross Fumiko's mind.Then,another realization occurred to Fumiko instantly,which nearly hit her like a truck with how fast with this revelation overtook her mind.
"Wait,if I don't know if Aiyana is straight...I wouldn't know if she's gay either."Fumiko muttered to herself,eyes widening in shock for just now realizing that fact.The shock she just experienced turned to relief within a minute.Fumiko made herself overly anxious and hyperfocused on rejection all because she didn't allow herself to explore the possibility of Aiyana not being straight.
Fumiko audibly groaned and almost facepalmed at how rigid and obtuse she was being for automatically assuming her best friend was straight.A way of thinking that she was and will continue to be held back by as a lesbian herself.Fumiko couldn't believe how she basically subscribed to a heteronormative concept that makes being gay seem abnormal.
When the annoyance and irritation with herself wore off,Fumiko couldn't help but laugh at her own stupid mistake.A somewhat understandable but still stupid mistake.She started to chuckle a little,which soon evolved into a fit of laughter.A fit of laughter she never Fumiko didn't mind laughing at herself right now,due to the fact it really helped quell any remaining anxiety she had.After having a good laugh,Fumiko felt so much better than she did earlier and she decided that it was time for her to actually start showering.
Fumiko took the wet sponge she was holding and squeezed some Warm Vanilla Sugar Body Wash onto it,scrubbing her breasts,arms/armpits,and neck thoroughly.She squeezed some more body wash on her sponge and worked her way down to her thighs,legs,and feet.
She repeated the scrubbing and washing process 3 times because she would unclean if she didn't,even though she's aware that would take more time.Fumiko stopped washing her body to rinse the spray suds by stepping directly under the shower head.
Once she finished washing most her body and rinsed the body wash off her sponge,she took the bar of white soap and cleaned her private areas thoroughly before rinsing out the sponge for the last time.
Fumiko put the sponge down and picked the shampoo bottle that was sitting on the tub area surrounding her.She knew she would have to use almost the entire bottle of shampoo to cover all of her hair from the roots to ends.Fumiko's hair was tailbone-length and almost touching her butt,it was also really thick and dense.She was very aware that her hair would take a while to shampoo and condition.
Fumiko opened the bottle of shampoo and squeezed a generous amount into the palm of her hand before repeating the process.She scrubbed the roots of her hair with the shampoo,thoroughly working the shampoo all throughout her hair.Fumiko took some more shampoo and squeezed it into her palm,this time working the shampoo down her hair.Fumiko sighed and smiled,knowing that she was going to look her best when she arrived at Aiyana's house tonight.
"Please wait for me,Aiyana...I'm coming,I promise."Fumiko said,smiling as she continued to wash her extremely long hair.