Ren felt truly exhausted.
He had just finished having a long conversation with his students about why it would be a really bad idea to have a relationship with him. He tried his best to persuade them to cease and desist!
But no matter what he said, Ino and Hinata were teenage girls and Ren had no idea what was going through their heads at that point in their development. Somehow, the more their talk progressed, the worse it got.
Halfway through it, the girls even stopped staring daggers at each other and somehow made up. Needless to say, Ren had no idea what was going on. He completely lost control of the entire conversation and things were happening in a way he just wasn't optimized to understand.
Give him ninja stuff any day of the week and he will be fine despite his dislike for the profession but managing teenage kunoichi in heat?
When chakra does fucky things with their physical and mental development?
He tried to tell them he was too old for them, only to be reminded that he was still a teenager himself. Which... fair. He had no retort to that.
It was not like he was one of those weirdos who believed a reincarnated person should go for somebody who equaled them in their 'mental age'.
He would have to go for ladies in their forties if that was the case, which... no thank you very much.
Ren didn't believe in 'mental age'. Sure, he was adult-level mature since he was a kid. But he didn't particularly feel as if he had somehow mentally grown or aged since then all that much.
He was happy to count his physical age as his true age.
He even tried to point out to the girls that their clans wouldn't like it and fortunately, that seemed to make Hinata hesitate a bit. At least, until Ino opened her big mouth, confidently telling him to leave it to her. That she would handle her 'daddy' if necessary.
And Ren truly pitied Inoichi at that moment.
Sage willing, Ren didn't want to be cursed with a daughter like Ino. That would be a complete nightmare.
Unfortunately, there went all the progress with Hinata as she regained her determination and Ren could tell from her expression she was not going to budge from her decision anymore.
By the end of it, the two girls actually agreed to share him, much to his despair. How 'We shouldn't date' became 'Don't worry, we can share you' Ren had no freaking idea. He was lost like any other average guy. He was going for a completely opposite result.
The girls even threw a law book at him, of all things. And yes, polygamy was not against the law in Konoha but dammit! It was he who should be throwing law books on them! Not the other way around. That was cheating and Ren didn't like when the other people did that.
He decided he would have his revenge on the girls for this. He was going to throw a law book of his own on them soon.
Damn, he felt like some stupid harem anime protagonist.
In his past life, he was always the noble and passionate keyboard warrior who trashtal-, ahem, berated the main characters for their natural density. But now he was in their spot and he wanted nothing more than earth to swallow him whole due to embarrassment. He felt for them now, completely understanding how this shit could happen.
Talk about gaining a completely new perspective.
He thought their team interaction was just general friendly banter. Subconsciously, he still believed that Hinata would end up with Naruto, even if that ship had apparently sailed and sunk long ago, and Ino with that freaky pale ROOT guy.
Because of that assumption, he never even considered the option that his presence once again changed things without him even trying to do so.
After Hinata kissed him... he kinda panicked and told the girls he was taking a week-long break for a 'personal project'. And sure, he did work on some seal work but he mostly agonized about the bomb dropped into his lap in the guise of the Hyuga girl's affection.
What was he supposed to do with that?
He was certain that if the Hyuga clan knew, they would try to crucify him. Hell, Hiashi would try to gentle fist his ass to the moon. Not that the Hyuga clan head would find a lot of success in that endeavor but it would still be annoying for Ren.
Let's not even talk about the consequences Hinata would be facing.
And when Ren had just decided to... maybe go for it? He wasn't even sure but he did like Hinata quite a bit. He decided to just let things progress naturally and end where the wind takes them.
But the very first damned training they had together after his break, Ino comes and does this shit, destroying any semblance of pretense that things were going to work out somehow on their own.
In the end, Ren made a compromise with the girls. They agreed to take things slowly. Even if Ino wasn't very happy about it.
Frankly speaking, it was not that he didn't find them desirable. Hinata was downright adorable and beautiful with her long hair. She looked closer to her Shippuuden self, except less shy. She was still a total sweetheart. And she had that Yamato Nadeshiko thing going for her that made Ren's heart skip a beat whenever she smiled.
As for Ino? The Yamanaka girl was flat-out gorgeous. Curves in all the right places, well-toned body, hair so amazing that models in Ren's past life would be seething in jealousy.
The first time Ren met her, he stared. And he still sometimes found himself 'visually appreciating her presence'. But apparently, he was not as sneaky as he thought.
Ino even stopped wearing her long hair in a ponytail so much and let it fall free on her shoulders and back when Ren offhandedly commented he preferred it that way.
In hindsight, that really should have clued him in.
He had some unpleasant flashbacks to his teenage years during his previous life. He was a dense idiot back then too so really, he had experience in that department.
He remembers that he was always proud of becoming more 'aware' with age... only for this to happen.
The girls were fifteen. But physically their bodies were almost done with their development. Chakra was unfair like that. The more a person used it, the more it sped things up.
No wonder Itachi looked like an adult during the Uchiha massacre despite being just thirteen at the time.
But mentally, Ren would say his students were still teenage girls. They would totally disagree, of course. Chakra sped up mental development too. It was a 'scientifically proven fact' or some other nonsense they threw at him during their argument in a fully unreasonable female fashion.
And they did have a certain maturity to them that normal girls their age had no business having. But Ren had seen their childish side far too many times. Hell, he even participated in many of their bouts of childishness because it was genuine fun.
... Well, according to his logic that meant he was a childish teenager too but let's ignore that, okay?
Chunin privileges.
He might be seventeen but he had the headband, therefore he was an adult. The law book said so too!
Besides, the civilians in this world were considered adults on their fifteenth birthday. It was the ninjas who were the weird ones. Especially now, after the reforms.
Previously, they were adults at thirteen. Nowadays, they were adults at sixteen, a whole year later than even the civilians.
Ren still told both Ino and Hinata that there would be no hanky panky with them until they had their headbands. It was his last moral line of defense he was not going to cross no matter what. He wanted to be upfront with the girls. They were minors according to the law and Ren did not need problems from that direction.
There was a reason why no ninja approached them yet with 'offers of quick stress relief' despite them being so beautiful and despite the sight of guys banging fifteen-year-old civilian girls in the side alley being quite common in the village if you knew where to look.
A part of him was hoping the girls would just give up when he told them his bottom line but...
Ino simply pouted and complained like a particularly bratty child who wanted a new toy.
And Hinata gave him a big sad puppy dog eye stare paired with a downright adorable sad frown.
Honestly, Ren doubted the Hyuga girl had any idea she was doing it but Ino's reaction was completely deliberate.
But the girls accepted it easily, much to his relief. Despite Ino's bravado, both girls were new to the whole affection stuff and Ren found the situation awkward for different reasons entirely so neither of them was jumping into it headfirst.
The girls left his apartment after that and Ren was having an honest-to-god dilemma. The primitive male part in him wanted them. The intelligent part in him cautioned him that it would destroy the canon further.
Only to add that the canon was fucked seven ways to Sunday anyway.
Before admitting the girls were hot.
His intelligent part wanted them too.
His intelligent part realized he was fucked.
'Being a teenager again sucks.' Ren mentally grumbled with an annoyed huff. His hormones were really screwing him over. 'Ah, whatever! I'll figure it out later. I'll just channel Sasuke and hn them into submission like a proper Narutoverse gigachad main character… or something equally ridiculous.'
For now, he needed to find a law book he could throw at the girls for his revenge.
---
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