*"Mu kanjō" that word has been with me for as long as I remembered. It is funny to think why I would still remember that word when it brings me painful memories that aches my heart. With every blood that flows through my heart, and pumps it like a beating machine, makes it even worse than before. Everything hurts. Even to move an inch, it sticks like gum.
(*Mu kanjō is a Japanese word that refers to feeling-less or emotionless.)
Flashback - 21/06/2017
I was just 15 then. I ran towards the school gate, pacing my legs as fast as I can, while I held fresh picked roses from the garden. The dews from the roses dripped down, so did my blood from my fingers; the strong stems were holding up, strong enough that they do not snap when I was running. I know that it sounds like a dumb thing to do: Choosing the most beautiful flower out of all others to get your hands pricked deeper and deeper. But without the scars, how am I supposed to heal?
Sweat gushed down my neck and down my black-coloured hair. Finally, I came to a stop where my feet could land: Class 7 D. My heart was racing faster than I was running before. My eyes were scurrying around to find laced brown hair. I decided to take a breath and leaned my back onto the wall. Just then, pairs of dimmed- black eyes caught my attention: It is her. I blocked her way with my shoulders; she bumped into me and looked up. Our eyes met and for a fact, I knew that her eyes were not close to be compared to the stars in the night sky, they were far more beautiful.
I pulled her aside. She gasped. I raised her soft-skin chin and said, "Hey, did you forget?". Her face drew a broad smile and she chuckled. Before I could say anything, she put her arms around me and hugged me tighter. "Of course, not silly!" She pulled out a notebook from her bag and gave it to me. It was an ordinary notebook, noting special. Why would she give this to me? I opened the book and on the first page was a picture of an umbrella. From then on wards, I knew the answer. I grabbed her waist and swing her around. " It's perfect" I gave her the roses and a peck on her forehead. Then, went to my seat in class: My seat was just 3 rows behind her.
"Alright kids, settle down. Today we are going to learn about -" The teacher, Mr. Eichi, was teaching the students. Though he does not like students, he is only doing this to earn money. Every lesson, he would smack the board with a stick, used for pointers, to grab the students' attention.
"Mr. Yuta" he called out. Though I did not pay attention well, I knew what he was talking about. Every morning between 3-4:30 am, I would read out my textbook several times for pleasure. Professionally, I answered.
"Good. Now everyone looks at Mr. Yuta, this is what I expect from all of you here in this class! Understood?" Silence filled the air while everybody nodded their heads.
Riiinngggggg. The school bell rang, and everyone was dismissed. Stepping out of the school gates, I was together with the school bell campus, Aiko, while she held my hand tight. Her fingers clutched onto my shirt, and it tugged down my shirt. I did not want to do or tell her anything, so I tried to shrug it off.
A few girls passed by and gazed their eyes upon us. Their black hair swayed from one direction to another while laughing. Flashes of light was flashing at us while we were walking together to. Passers-by took out their phone and drew it near our faces. My eyes could no longer bear with it; The flashes got annoying, so I grabbed Aiko's hand and paced my legs as fast as I could to get away from them.
Our legs moved from roads to crossroads until we finally came to a stop. We hid behind a wall next to a coffee shop. I covered her face with my hands and put my jacket over her so that no one could recognise us. My head was tilted downwards as they were looking for us. Thumps of feet were heard. It was as if rabid animals in the zoo were chasing after us.
I covered her mouth with my hands until they have passed us. Pin drop silence were heard. I peeked my head out to see if the coast was clear. The road was clear; I retreat my hands and took away my jacket.
"Aiko, I think we are safe no- "Before I could assure her anything, she hugged me tighter and tighter. Her body was shivering with fear.
"Hey Aiko, they are gone. There is nothing to fear" I told her. I patted my hand on her back and I heard a sound coming from her.
"Hahaha! I never knew that Mr. Yuta was so gentle" She was pounding her fist at my chest while she busted with laughter. I was there, embarrassed.
"Tsk, I knew that you were faking it" I told her. We walked into the coffee shop and got ourselves a seat. The scent of coffee beans was filling the air, so was the sound of the coffee machines. I got out of my seat and tucked my hands into my pockets while searching for my wallet. Shit.
I think I lost my wallet while we were escaping. My body lull back to the chair while sighing in despair. I placed my head on the coffee table while Aiko was petting it.
"I pity you, there is something called online payment which you are to dumb to realise." She added. She took out my phone and downloaded the 'Tart' app and handed it over to me.
"What's this?" I asked. I must look dumb.
"This app here is what you call 'Tart'. It is a multipurpose app that you can use for anything: texting, calling, paying, drawing, etc. Some mad genius created this app with his child. Crazy!" Aiko was boasting about the app while I did not care to listen. I took my phone away from her and walked myself to the counter.
I lifted my head while looking at the menu. Frappuccino, Latte, Smoothie or Matcha iced tea? Which should I choose? The drinks they serve here is absurd! I tilted my head to Aiko and asked her what she wanted, since I did not know what to choose. Her finger pointed to Latte.
"two latte please," I ordered.
"Sir, we have vanilla latte, peppermint latte, Irish crème latte, caramel latte, cinnamon latte, almond latte, hazelnut latte, toffee latte, buttered rum latte, orange latte, raspberry latte and chai latte" The cahier said. It did not look like he cared, but I do. So many flavours to pick from and looking at it makes my head have a headache.
"Which one do you recommend?" I asked with confusion.
"The hazelnut latte is our recommendation this season" He said.
"Then I would have two hazelnut latte then!" I decided. Hopefully, it tastes nice because I am not drinking crap, period.
"Alright sir... that would cost 517 yen and 55 cents. Would you like to pay through cash, credit or online?" The cashier asked.
"Um, online" I decided. The cashier scanned my barcode and asked for my name. For a fact, I knew that they do not get their customer's name right, so I replied my name as 'Kori' since the drinks I ordered were cold. I took the receipt and left.
I finally sat down at the table and settled down. I laid my head on the chair and let out a sigh. My head cannot take any more bizarre menu with lots of choice to pick from. And there I was, waiting for the drinks.
"Order 23, two drinks of cold hazelnut latte for Kori!" called out a barista. I finally stood up and walked my way to the 'pick-up' station. As I was about to reach out for the drinks, a pair of hands were reaching out to get it. The hands were pale and smooth. That, I did not care.
"Hey, that's mine," I interrupted. The person turned around and stared at me.
The person took shape of a girl who seemed to be a high schooler like me. Her uniform was perfectly tailored, her hair was white and tied up. White? There is no such thing as white hair, unless she died it. But, her black-pearled eyes were still stating at me.
"Hey hot shot, is your name Kori?"