Nick quickly moves away from Helena as Tracy pushes the defibrillator closer to Helena. You come running in and stops for a moment seeing Nick next to Helena's bedside.
(Dammit, what is he doing here? What if I can't save Helena? He'll never forgive me)
"Can someone please get Nick, out of here?! He doesn't have to see this!"
"Kim! Please! Please save her!" He shouts after you as he's escorted out of the room.
You quickly look at him and nod. Then bring your attention back to Helena. You quickly perform CPR on her and then get hold of the paddles of the defibrillator. You put gel on the paddles and rub them together while shouting.
"Clear!"
You shock her and carefully watch her vitals. The line on the machine continues to stay straight with no rhythm. You turn the knob on the machine for a higher voltage of shock and rub the paddles together again.
"Clear!"
You see how her body files into the air and once again watching the machine for some sort of sign of life but the line doesn't move except for the rhythm you've created with the paddles.
"Dammit, Helena! Don't you give up on me! Don't you give up on Nick!"
NICK'S POINT OF VIEW
He stands outside the curtain, pacing up and down. He can hear everything that's going on inside as the tent isn't soundproof.
(Come on Helena, don't you give up on me. What did I do wrong? Did you hear me when I said I'm sorry? Do you know what I did? You can't die on me? Damn, why did I have to kiss Kim?)
He sits down on the nearest chair he could find. The pain in his leg is slowly coming back from him moving around too much.
KIM'S POINT OF VIEW
You give her one last shock and there's still no sign of life. Tracy touches your shoulder.
"No! Set it on a high voltage!"
"But Dr. McPherson, we can't-"
"Just do what I say!"
Tracy quickly turns the knob for a higher voltage.
(I can't lose her, Nick will never get over it, over her. Dammit!)
You rub the paddles together and send her body into the air once more. You watch her vitals and still no sign of life. You throw the paddles on the ground and start viciously doing CPR on her, sitting on top of her to get more power behind it. You've learned that the heart is a tough and strong muscle and that your little arms are too weak to move a muscle like that. You've learned this technique and performed it in many cases before.
NICK'S POINT OF VIEW
He can't take it anymore and needs to see what's going on with Helena. He stands up and just peeks his head behind the curtain. The picture he sees fills his being with all kinds of emotions. He sees you sitting on top of Helena with your legs on both sides of her body, you're doing CPR. He can't believe what he's seeing a feeling like no other fills him. He can't quite put his finger on it but he thinks it could be love….a deep deep affection for you.
Then he sees you stopping just staring at her vitals. He watches as you bow your head and that you've given up on her.
(No, no Kim! Don't!)
Suddenly he sees you raising your fist in the air and coming down hard on her chest, hitting it with every fiber in your being. Then you watch her heart machine for any sign of life and Nick hears the familiar sound of a rhythm beeping sound starting on the machine. He sighs loudly and then falls to the ground, sitting down with a loud thump.
KIM'S POINT OF VIEW
You turn around while still sitting on Helena and you see Nick sitting on the ground not far from the curtain. You look him in the eyes and you nod, smiling at him. He smiles back at you and bows his head in thanks to you. You climb off Helena and you give instructions to the nurses. You walk over to him and kneel in front of him, sitting on the floor.
"She's going to be okay now. I'm going to have to go back in and repair the torn liver but this kind of things happen and that's why I put her under sedation"
He takes hold of your hand and looks into your eyes. "How can I thank you for what you're doing?"
You blush. You've never really ever done well with compliments. Your face always turns bright red and you cover your mouth.
NICK'S POINT OF VIEW
(Fuck! There she goes and does it again! How am I supposed to stay true to Helena when this incredible creature standing before me and doing that thing that drives me crazy. Her innocence and unawareness of what she does to me, makes me want her even more)
He loses himself once more in your eyes and the feeling of appreciation fills the air.
"I'm just doing my job, Nick and we don't want to lose Helena. I just gave my best. No need to thank me. I have to go now, they're ready for me. Don't you worry any more about Helena, she's doing just fine, okay?"
"Okay, but thank you anyway. This means a lot to me"
KIM'S POINT OF VIEW
You understand completely how he feels. It's his girlfriend laying there and it would be unnatural if he didn't feel anything. But you can't help the piece inside your heart that feels that you want him to feel something for you. You want him to ache for you and that you're the only one he wants in his life like you want him to be the only one in your life. John has quickly become a distant memory to you and your feelings for Nick have grown exponentially.
You stand up and walk back into the one place you feel at home, your OR.
NICK'S POINT OF VIEW
Nick finally gets up from the floor and find his way back to his bed. Just as he's about to get into his bed he sees Sergeant Ray. Nick approaches Ray and Ray immediately salutes him.
"Sir, Master Chief, sir!"
"At ease Sergeant"
"Yes, sir!"
"I still wanted to thank you for being there for Helena when I couldn't be there"
He moves around uncomfortably and avoids Nick's eye contact. "I'm glad I could be of assistance sir"
"Thank you once again, Sergeant. Did you come to visit someone?"
"I…uhm…yes, I come to visit…uhm…Mark, sir"
"Well, don't let me keep you, Sergeant"
"Thank you, sir"
Ray turns around and salutes him one more time. Nick stares after him and he clearly has no idea where Mark is laying. He does however move into the direction of the ICU department.
"To the left, Sergeant!"
Ray looks shocked by the shout coming from Nick but quickly recovers, waving a hand in the air. "Of course, yes. Thank you, sir!"
Nick has been trained to assess a lot of different situations. A thought shoot through his mind.
(Could he have been here for Helena and I've diverted him somehow?)