Shane enters the river, sinking lower in the water until it comes to his chest. It wasn't that deep the other day, observes Zach.
"Isn't the current too strong?" he asks, dipping his foot in the cool water. He has to admit, it feels nice against his burning skin.
Shane disappears beneath the water then brings his head back up with a shake. "Nope," he wipes his mouth, "The flooding comes down off the hills but loses momentum through the valley. This town is far enough downriver that its water flow stays pretty mild."
Zach lowers himself in further, removing his shirt and tossing it up the bank. "Sounds like you just made that up," he eyes Shane with a smirk.
Shane laughs, then disappears once more beneath the shimmering reflections between them. When seconds pass and he doesn't resurface, Zach panics. Pushing the water with his arms, he makes his way toward the bridge which now barely sits above the water's course. Its stone sides are completely immersed in the rivers flow, making it seem smaller than usual.
Bubbles rise up from below. A cool hand grabs his leg, and Zach yelps and jumps back from the touch. Shane pops out of the water with a choking laugh.
"That wasn't funny. Where'd you go, anyway?" He holds tightly to the structure, feet now hovering in the deep.
Shane pushes back the hair from his face with a grin. Using his hands to explain, he describes the environment beneath the supported bridge.
"Just make sure you swim deep enough to get below the planks. Underneath the bridge is a pocket of air." He wipes his eyes again as he turns toward the water. "Not a great foothold since the water's so deep," pointing now, "but I knocked my toe against a rock near this far side. Should be enough for one of us, at least. Ready?"
Zach looks at him in shock. Ready? "Wait, no. I...ready for what?" Backing up, "You didn't explain that very well; what are we doing, exactly?"
Shane just smiles then takes a deep breath before dropping down beneath the water's surface once more.
Cursing his own curiosity, Zach fills his lungs with the sun-drenched air and follows. He knows the general structure of the bridge and has an idea of what Shane means. Passing beneath the wood, touching his hand against the base of the bridge, Zach breaks the surface once more beneath its arches.
The first thing he discerns is darkness. Despite cracks in the wooden panels below, the sudden loss of the sun makes his eyes blind without the light's presence. If the water has risen enough to reach the base of the bridge, just how much space could there be down here? His head hits the stone above him with a crack. Not much room at all, he decides, nursing his head.
It's quiet, and Shane hasn't said a word.
"Did you drown?" he asks sarcastically into the darkness. A chuckle rings out from behind him. Zach spins around to face the voice. It's the perfect time to continue their conversation from earlier.
"You know, you avoided my question from before," he says simply, eyes searching in the humid void. Though, that statement wasn't true. The boy had addressed his question, but not with the answer Zach wanted to hear. He wanted honesty. Clarity.
"What question is that?" The voice comes from beside him now, and he turns once more to face it. His feet find the stone Shane spoke of before, and he welcomes the reprieve from treading water. He feels more confident now, with his weight resting on solid rock.
"You know."
Shane lets out a long breath, then disappears once more from Zach's senses.
"Shane?" Zach's voice echos.
"Yeah?" The voice is closer than he anticipates and he stifles a gasp. It's now or never.
"I-" ...want you to kiss me. Yeah, that's it! But he can't bring himself to say it out loud.
"Hm?" Even closer now. Gee, is he doing this on purpose? Zach reaches forward blindly and finds nothing but air and dark water. His hand comes down with a splash.
"I uh..." He reaches out again now, straining to keep his balance on the slick stone beneath him, and wondering why he can't find the only other person in the cramped, mellow confinement. He doesn't want to admit it, but he actually feels a bit scared there in the dark. He's always been a good swimmer, and thus never had a fear of drowning, but in this place, with no sight, even with his feet on solid ground, the water frightens him. Not being able to touch Shane makes his heart long for the contact. It worries him to feel so alone.
Shane's fingers brush against the back of his hand. The lapping water splashes against his back and he shifts forward, bumping his chin on the forehead of the suddenly present Shane.
"Oh!" Zach cries out, the echo of his words carrying through the place. "Sorry." He lifts his hand and finds Shane's head, placing his palm on his forehead as droplets fall one by one into the water below in energetic, continuous drips.
"It's fine," Shane laughs. He reaches out and takes Zach's shoulder in his hand, holding tightly with his arm out straight. "Here, now we can stay at an arm's length away and still know where we are."
Zach can hear the smile on Shane's lips as he speaks, but he doesn't want to stay arm's length apart. And besides, his arm is longer than Shane's, so who's arm is he referring to anyway?
He moves his hand across Shane's moist forehead and down his temple, then his cheek, pausing before finally tracing his fingers along the boy's top lip. First his fingers, then thumb in the opposite direction across the saturated, contoured silhouette. He feels his eyelids droop from the pleasure of being able to touch the lips he can now admit he has spent hours staring at without tiring.
The mood seems to shift. The water itself seems more gentle than before, the darkness more alive. And to his surprise, Shane moves his hand from Zach's shoulder and glides his thumb slowly up his neck. His heart speeds up at the sensation and he almost shies away.
They both continue the sensory exploration of the other's features, moving carefully, cautiously, as if an invisible fuse has been lit. Zach can't help but smile beneath Shane's calloused thumb and the feeling of his wrist being bent in slowly as Shane comes nearer, always nearer, until arm's length away is a thing of moments past.
"Shane?" he feels the boy's forehead on his; their noses brush lightly. He has to say it. Just once, he can do it. He takes a small breath and blurts out,
"I want you to kiss m--"
And Shane does.
Zach fights so hard not to cling to him immediately. Shane's kiss is like a crack of thunder in his brain, stirring every part of him to life. He's never felt such fierce physical desires to be close to someone else. But every inch between them feels like an ocean; every part of their skin not touching seems colder somehow, incomplete.
And Zach realizes that this moment is the most alive he has felt in his entire life. He feels like crying because he knows it will soon end, and what then? He clears his mind and focuses instead of the softness of Shane's lips, the strength of his hand behind his neck.
The water caresses his skin, seeming to coax him further, encouraging his burst of confidence. He allows himself to snake one leg around Shane's, knowing Shane is supporting himself above the water with one hand holding tightly to the bridge's rough surface above them. Zach can't accept that. That other hand belongs to me, bridge. You can't have it.
Catching on, Shane releases his grip on the stone and lets his weight float down into Zach, who is backed up as far as he can to make room on the small rock beneath him. For a moment they are both there, balanced on the stone, and Zach imagines them on the surface, standing like anyone else would on the earth. He, taller than the boy in his arms, welcomes the difference in height.
Then Shane breaks free of his lips, leaving a moment of panic in Zach at the sudden stop.
But he has only stopped to grab Zach's other leg and pull it toward him. Zach's balance is compromised. A splash. Now his weight is entirely on Shane, the buoyancy of the cool water allowing the boy to hold him with ease. He slides down the stone surface behind him and Shane's lips find his again, this time with more passion than before. There was room for only one on the settled stone.
Zach tightens his grip around him while Shane's hand finds its way back behind Zach's head to prevent it from hitting the bridge's stones behind him. He is pinned completely against the bridge, held up by Shane pressing against him and by his own legs wrapped tightly around the invisible form. Though, not completely invisible now, as his eyes have adjusted more to the little light filtering in from below. He can see that Shane's actions have brought them to the same height exactly in the space beneath the stones. This makes him hunger for Shane even more, breathing him in with liquid obsession.
They are equals there in the dim, moist cavern where height, weight, color, their very identities are of no importance. The only things that matter are Shane's lips, his taste, his warm breath, and even warmer body like molten rock crushing his against the contrasting cool stone, the sounds, the scents, the water streaming steadily in the background. It's as its own dark heaven. A picture of ambient oases. Nothing could be more perfect.
He doesn't know how long they stay there like that, and he doesn't care. Eventually, though, the air lifts, heartbeats steady, and finally their lips find the will to separate, giving way to steady, slow breaths. Once more Shane caresses Zach's cheek and jaw, and for a moment Zach wants nothing more than to see his face, to know what he's thinking after every moment that just passed.
"Shane?"
The boy traces his thumb beneath Zach's eye.
"Yeah?"
That's all. Zach only needed to hear his voice, confirm his presence in the darkened place. To know it wasn't all in his mind. Shane lowers his hand and lifts Zach's legs from around his frame. "Let's go back up."
Zach only nods, unseen in the dark. But Shane is already backing away, then disappears beneath the water, leaving their hands, then fingers, to be the last things touching before he is gone.
Zach treads for a moment, trying to take in one last time the smells, the feel of the water, of this place. He never wants to forget the bridge like this, and yet never wants to return. Already he knows this much. The next time they kiss, and he hopes they do, Zach wants to be able to stare into Shane's eyes, to see his face, to hear what's on his mind.
Then he, too, takes a breath and disappears below the water's surface. Light floods in slowly to his vision and he breaks through the surface with a gasp, shaking his hair and sending water flying around him.
Shane is already up the bank, sitting in the grass a little ways off with his head down, shaking his hair and running his fingers through it roughly. It's so strange now, being in the light of the sun with him after what they just experienced.
With a smile, Zach makes his way toward him and lets himself fall into the grass to dry.
That's when he realizes that Shane is trembling. The boy shifts and his hands are hidden from Zach's view.
"You can say it if you want."
A kind of blankness pours over Zach's mind at the boy's words. He has no idea what they could mean.
"Say what?"
Shane's shoulders seem to cave in on his core as if holding him together by force.
"This is where you tell me never to do that again, that it's gross, or it was a mistake. It's okay." Shane takes a ragged breath, still refusing to meet Zach's gaze.
Realization floods Zach's mind and he grabs hold of the bridge's supports, suddenly weakened. It's as if he can see every moment of Shane's life reeling crudely before his unwilling eyes in fast forward.
Every friend. Every kiss. Every hope. And every crushing refusal. And when it's over, it's like a mirror crashing into pieces at Zach's feet, leaving this shattering boy before him in its place. He feels as if he has witnessed a person desperately searching for acceptance. Then decides he will be the one to give it.
"I already told you. I want you to kiss me. Although it was a lot easier to say there in the dark. But next time-"
Shane snaps to attention, and Zach blushes at the words coming out of his mouth. Straightening himself, "Um. Next time…"
Standing with one fluid motion, eyes fixed now where he was just refusing to look, Shane approaches Zach at the bridge. Again, Zach grabs hold of the stones to steady himself.
After looking into his eyes and bringing an unsure hand to his cheek, Shane kisses the boy once more. It is a soft kiss, a simple gesture, almost a final inquiry of sorts. Then he looks at Zach in earnest, waiting for the answer. Zach smiles.
"Dummy." He takes the boy's hand in his.