Zach is frozen in place with a face holding more concentration than bewilderment at the sudden actions of the boy in front of him. But behind his hastily collected face is a whirl of emotions.
He's so close Zach can sense the rising and falling of his chest. He can feel his breath; he can see the long, full lashes blinking over spirited eyes. Shane is focused completely on him, on his eyes, now his mouth. Zach tenses his jaw.
If...that's really what he wants...
Though the boy is at least half a head shorter, Zach feels himself drawn in by an unknown allure. As if putting himself in the path of Shane's lips, he bends down his head while Shane lifts himself slightly on his feet.
But after halting his advance without warning, Shane whispers, "That'll be Maddie coming out now."
Before Zach has a chance to let the boy clarify, the screen door to the house flies open, making Zach jump, and revealing a young girl with flowing long hair, dressed in a knee-length flowered dress, making an obviously displeased face while biting down hard on her own balled fist.
Zach blinks rapidly as he absorbs the girl's features, angelic being the word that comes to his mind first. He feels flustered by the impression, guilty for thinking such bold things about a person behaving in such a shocking way. Because more than her features, he is taken aback by her actions and the strange noises coming from behind her agitated hands, almost guttural, followed by an unsettling shriek. His discomfort lasts more than a few seconds before he realizes there must be more going on than he is aware.
She stomps her foot, sending her hair, already in disarray, like ripples across her arms with each forceful thud.
"Maddie, where's Granny?"
Another flustered whine escapes her frame.
"Maddie," Shane pleads, "This is Zach." He clutches Zach's arm with one hand and pushes him forward lightly with the other. "He's our guest. You'll like him, I promise." He nods at Zach in encouragement.
"Um, h-hello," Zach's voice falters, "Madd-"
"Maddie! Is that Shane?" hollers a voice from inside the house. A grey-haired woman wearing an old-fashioned dress steps out of the house with a look of distraction on her face. She wears an old apron covered with blotches of stains and multi-colored smears.
After quickly taking in the scene, she smiles warmly at Zach, placing her steady hand on the shoulder of the girl beside her. The girl named Maddie droops her head down with a defeated atmosphere in place of her once forceful demeanor. With signs of tears brimming her eyes, she vocalizes, "Nin-nin-nin. Ne-nin nin nin nin," rocking herself back and forth against her grandmother's soothing embrace.
"Come inside, dear." The woman ushers the girl back through the door with ease, leaving Shane and Zach alone on the steps once more. They turn toward one another as Shane studies his guest carefully.
"Changes in our routine are hard on Maddie, even small ones. A new visitor at the house falls under that category."
Zach lets out a whimper as he backs up, slightly alarmed. "Then I shouldn't be-"
"It's ok," Shane grabs his arm before he has a chance to move further away. "After a few days you'll be a part of a new routine," he assures him. "Promise." His eyes are a bit pleading now, and Zach feels torn.
It's not that he feels the need to get away from the girl, just the opposite. He is entranced by both her and her brother, and especially the two together at once. But the thought of causing such anxiety with his presence alone makes Zach want to crawl away on all fours if he must. Anything to ease the girl's trauma.
"It's not as big a deal as you're probably thinking," the boy forces eye contact, looking up at Zach's hanging head. "We have visitors all the time, ya know?"
Zach still feels incredibly guilty about the unsettling first impression he undoubtedly gave to Shane's family, but he nods his head and lets the boy lead the way into the aroma filled house, suddenly too exhausted to dispute.
"Granny, I'd like you to meet Zach," Shane announces as they make their way through the front room and into the dining. "He's staying for the summer from the city, and has decided to live with us here indefinitely." Suddenly hiding himself behind Zach with a playful smile, he asks, "Is that okay?"
Zach has already learned enough not to be shocked by the unexpected change of story from the boy. Still, they both eye her with honest concern.
The old woman takes in the boy's face with a focused gaze, then his clothes and shoes with a twinkle in her eye. Finally, she inhales deeply and replies, "Of course he's welcome here."
The two boys push each other lightly, smiling in relief.
"You've eaten, I presume," she adds, already moving on from the question and returning to her household tasks.
"Yes, ma'am. We'll be up in my room." He grabs Zach's arm and moves swiftly towards the stairs, then up, turning back down to yell, "Thanks!" at his grandmother before rushing again to the top.
"Can I see your suitcase?" asks Shane as they peak the top step. Zach hands it over in surprise. The boy's face lights up and Zach wonders what's so special about his old leather companion.
"It's huge! Is this everything you own or what? I've never carried this much all at once before," he says, lifting it over and over like a light dumbbell on their way into his room.
Zach can't help but laugh and go along with the innocent glee.
"Very funny," he flicks the boy's arm. "This is actually the smaller of two; it was a set. My sister has one even larger. It's almost twice this size. Because she has too many clothes, I guess."
Shane marvels again, then places it carefully on top of the wooden dresser, dusting it off with mindful hands before lowering his arms.
"It's really nice."
It's old and worn out, thinks Zach with a chuckle. But his mother bought it for him. And it's true it was very expensive at the time. Had he ever appreciated it as much as this boy he's just met?
"So," presses Shane as he plops onto the bed. "What do you think of Maddie?"
Zach thinks hard and answers with honesty. "I've never met anyone like her." And it's true. His life and surroundings never had brought him in contact with anyone having any real problems of the mind, and he knew little about it, though he knew such things existed.
He had heard rumors about a new special school in the city for children "not capable of learning." That description, however, was not at all the impression he got from the girl downstairs. He feels irritated even at the thought. He isn't sure how to describe her, but 'incapable' simply doesn't fit. Though, different, he had to admit.
"You can be more honest than that," Shane smiles. "I don't mind questions." He leans back further on the bedspread, eyes softened to the ceiling above.
"She's been like that her whole life. She doesn't use words, at least not normal ones. She can't pronounce my name at all, that's what all the 'nin nin' was about. I guess that's as close as she can get to 'Shane'.
"Granny says it's a brain disorder called autism. Even though she's just two years younger than me on the outside, she acts like a child. And don't be fooled, she completely ignores me most of the time. Always off in her own world until she decides to come out. I don't really care about all that, though. She's my sister, even with her funny way of living. In a way, we've all got problems being normal, don't you think?"
They talk some more, about Maddie, about working for the old man, about Zach's plans for the summer, and Zach begins to feel as though he's made a real friend for the first time in a long, long time. He can't wait for the new day to start fresh, to wake up as a living, breathing part of this place called Shanan.
________________
"Here, you can use the pillow and blanket since you insist on taking the floor," says Shane, interrupted by a familiar face entering the room in a flash. Zach freezes.
"Oh," Shane laughs as Maddie crawls under the covers next to where Zach is sitting like a statue on the floor. She has managed, whether on purpose or otherwise, to overlook the unfamiliar boy's presence altogether. Shane hops down beside her and throws the blanket in the air above them, straightening its wrinkles and causing Maddie to squeak in annoyance at the sudden cool breeze.
"Den?" she says in what sounds to Zach like an inquiry. He lays down slowly, observing. When no answer to her question comes, she says more forcefully with quickened breaths, "Din-din-din-din DINDINDINDINDIN," before Shane takes her arm down from her eyes and says, "Shh. Yes Maddie, we already had dinner, just like Granny said."
Her fists press into her eyes as she takes a deep breath, quickly relaxing between the two boys completely, then letting out steady, quiet snores.
"Already out like a light," Shane muses, lightly poking his sister's youthful cheek. He stays propped up on his elbow against the floor.
"I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, her barging in like that."
"No, not at all!" Zach argues, sitting up slightly, tugging the blanket too far, leaving Shane without any to spare.
"Oops," they laugh as he straightens it back toward the boy who explains,
"It's a habit of hers; she's done it since she was small. Not all the time, just once in a while. As a kid, I always told her that her big brother could make all her troubles go away." He lays flat on the floor beside her. "Now whenever she's feeling anxious or confused about something, she practically breaks down my door to come find me. It's a good thing, though. This is probably her way of dealing with you being here. Kind of backward, huh?"
He chuckles again, stroking the girl's hair. "I don't mind so much. She gives me just as much comfort as I give her, I think. Here, give me your hand."
Zach reaches his arm over top of the sleeping girl and holds it out to Shane who takes it in his, parting Zach's fingers through his own in an overpowering yet gentle grip.
"See?" he whispers through the darkness. "There's just something about another person's heated skin against your own that makes everything seem bearable for a moment. Like you can be whole."
Zach can feel the light echoes of Shane's pulse against his own palm and grips tighter to mask his own beating heart. It truly is a comforting embrace.
"Yeah, you're right." He says distantly as a calm wave overtakes him. He falls asleep to the light pressure of Shane exploring his hand with his own, slowly, one finger at a time. He feels the warm lingering traces left on his palm and his wrist in wake of each individual stroke. His slipping consciousness hums to the brushes of soft sensitivity, releasing a mild and comforting pleasure like budding vines within his mind.