4-4
I'm beginning to feel like I'll never move on
I'm beginning to feel like my mind enjoy recalling this day
The day I became a forced adult
The day I had to learn how to fight for myself
Most people will guess what had happened to me but I'll never answer though
Why should I
Some will guess
I have been abused
I have been raped
I have an unstable family
I do drugs
I've been paid to sleep with older men for money
I'm mentally not fine
But I gats to say
Some of what they saying is true
I believe everyone has a past, you can be how rich or how poor
Everyone has a past
Either you had no love growing up but had money or you had no money growing up but had love
But what I have learned is that our past does not define us but what it does is determine our future
It's up to us to decide if we want to remain the same or strive to success
But in my case I've given up on all that your future is in your hands typa shit
I'm mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted,
For those that kept encouraging me to kill myself trust me I have tried several times , it's not like I've failed, I simply wake up each and every time in the hospital, I bet I'm very famous in that hospital and I bet they tired of trying to help me ,there's no saving me,no one can save me,
I wonder whom ever always found me half dead want to save me ,till now I have no idea who it could be,I'm pretty sure its not my family
But im far away for some one to save me now
So today after school I'll kill myself
It's settled
I had it all planned out, I'm sick and tired of trying to pray, shit i don't even know how to pray,I don't even know what to ask from HIM or THEM
If they where there in the beginning I would have trusted them , I might have joined church hek I might have become a Christian for christ sake but here i am
Failed by everyone I've cared for ,
So taking a life i was given is no biggy
I didn't ask for it anyways, I didn't ask to suffer like this
I'm pretty sure I planning my own death goes against all rules and laws but I gave no fuck to be honest
I tried being sain back home but it failed
I tried starting a fresh here but it failed too
I don't know But I think this is a sign
I feel like no one hears me
So I stopped expressing or showing my emotions long time ago
People will say they my friend or even try to talk to me but I just couldn't open up
I've been hurt so many times that I lost count ,why try
Leaving this world will make me happy at least
1 - None will care enough to notice I'm gone
It's official, I'm broke
Years of trying to be strong has failed now that today is the 4th
I'll usually not remember this day,it's like my mind pushed this event far back so I would not remember at all but since I went back to school, I felt like I don't belong
I even tried being the bad bitch I convinced myself to be ,my new persona but I got exhausted
I'm exhausted of not opening up
I'm exhausted of not trying to get help
I'm exhausted of life itself
I'm exhausted of putting on a certain persona for certain events in my life
I'm just exhausted of being exhausted
You'd think you've built a wall to protect yourself from the world but it turns out you broke your own wall now you and the world are your biggest enemy at the moment and you are proudly giving in
Looking around the house i sighed
It will be soon filled with blood
My blood
Arrived at school looking like a mess
Wearing all black and black glasses but I didn't care really
Walking to my class I entered with my head hung low with puffy eyes and a headache
It's because I was crying yesterday
My nightmare was clear yesterday
I finally understood were the pain came from and why I was in the dark and what caused the pain
I guess my brain blocked that event in my brain somewhere but something triggered it and I have so many emotions everywhere
But I still wondered why it was block in the first place
Class was boring as usual
The teacher was annoying today so I told him to suck a dick or something and the fucker decided to send me to the principles office
Like I'll go ,I went straight home after cursing the teacher and whom ever was in my way because I really did not give two shits on how they felt no one cares about mine so I thought that's how life goes
Noone cares about Noone
It's simple math to be honest
Before going home I stopped at a liquor store
I hate alcohol with a passion but im considering it for the first and last time
I bought at least two strong bottle and went home
But I didn't notice two people following me
Arriving at my apartment i drank the two bottle till it was empty
I smiled
Time for action storměigh
I trashed my entire apartment
I broke everything from my TV to sofa
I got cut by few shuttered glassware here and there but that's no problem really ,the big problem was me
I went to my room and took my lucky blade
I call her hope because she gave me hope
Hope of not suffering anymore
She's the only one I could count on
So I took her and set on the floor crying
There is no saving me now
I looked at my arm with several unsuccessful wounds
My unsuccessful attempts
I took the blade and dug it as deep as i could into my skin not caring of the pain
I made sure I'm deep enough to see my flesh
I cut even more and more going deeper and deeper
Than cut some more deeper to make sure this time I succeed
I did that several times until I was satisfied
Until I could feel my tissue spread apart
Now blood on both my arms with the flesh showing
The blood running down my arm
I tried taking the knife i came with earlier and tried to stab myself at the chest but I was too weak that I ended up stabbing myself on my shoulder
I fell hard on the floor
Knife dropping too
I felt heavy
I than saw nothing but the dark
With that I knew I was gone
A smile was the last thing on my lips
Unknowns POV
Yoooooooo cousin where you at
Yooooooo Pedro where the fuck you at mate
Pedro came down with his usual messy hair and his usual smile
Mateeeeeee you finally here he gave me a very uncomfortable hug considering he just woke up meaning his junk woke up too
I laughed at his stupid reaction
Pedro was always my favourite cousin but his more like my brother than my cousin
Mate mate distance yourself abit
Your junk is everywhere bro
He looked down than embarrassingly stopped hugging me
I missed you mate I said
But I arrived yesterday here it was actually a surprise
So surpriseeeee
Are you happy I came
The fuck yeah mate
I missed you too bro
But you came at the wrong time bro I have classes now
I can take you to school don't worry
I brought my private jet with me so I can take you with that I said
He laughs knowing I'm just kidding
Yeah right and I have kim k in my bed waiting for me
I laughed too at his lame joke
But seriously mate I'll take you to school
We'll catch then and after school we'll catch up some more so what do you say
He just gives me a ear to ear smile and nods several times as a yes than went to get changed
I love such love
My little brother Pedro is just the annoyingly fun brother you could ask for
On our way to his school we talked about this being his last year at school even though he loved the school he didn't like how they treated this new girl named storměigh
Apparently she's being racially bullied but that stopped when she broke a six foot guys nose and arm
OK she can fight I commended
Yeah yeah Pedro said
I believe she is going through stuff though like deep deep stuff
I don't know what but I just feel it,I even tried to be her friend and she smiled at my offer but she turned me down
I frowned why would she turned down your offer i ask
He frowned too I don't know why but I won't give up on trying to be her friend,
I smile yep that's my cousin right there, the social butterfly of the family, the one that had so much love to give around
Ou look there she is in all black
I look at where his pointing, all I see is someone in all black with black shades and head hugged low
I guess she's not feeling ok today I ask
He looked at me ,she never feels ok but I guess today is worse
I'll have to go mate see you after school
Sure see you
Once he left I couldn't help but stare at the figure in front of me till it disappeared
Something is off
I then left to one of my dad's hotel that he owned here,I say my dad's because it's his not mine
Ou my bad I didn't introduce myself to you all
My name is Derëk Iétś

My parents are famous actors with successful companies, I think you'll know the Iétś companies all around the world yep that's them
Iétś restaurants
Iétś hotels
Iétś apartments
Iétś retail stores
Iétś everything
I guess their name is everywhere
Don't get it wrong though I'm proud of my parents success But I just wished they were there more and wished they were not those type of snob rich people but unfortunately they are
Ring ring
It's Pedro, but wasn't he suppose to be having classes?
Hey mate , what's up?
I asked
Mate mate hurry up and come get me please mate please he pleaded
OK, with that i cut the call and got into my car
Get in
Slams the car door
OK watch my car mate
Follow the person in black please he said while trying to catch his breath in between his sentence
Dude why I asked
Derëk shut the fuck up and follow the person shit
I followed
But Pedro why the fuck are we following the person, are you now a stalker?
Fuck no derëk it's just it's just
Yes it's just what Pedro
It's storměigh
Uhm ok but Why on earth are we following the poor girl like stalkers Pedro please explain I'm still lost
See derëk, I think something bad will happen to her
And how the fuck do you know that jeez Pedro I know you care about people but come on Pedro not everything you say is right mate I said getting annoyed at my little brothers action
No listen mate listen
She was acting way too off today she-
I interrupted him
And I assume she told you this?
No mate she did not-
I interrupted again now why the fuck are we invading the poor girls privacy by following her? You do know if she notice a car following her she'll call the cops mate come on mate
Could you fucking stop interrupting me and listen
She insulted the teacher today because she was annoying but she never curse at the lectures , she respected them
She'd usually insult only the people that bullied her but that's not it once I was close enough to her I saw her eyes where puffy from crying
She insulted anyone that was in her way too
After insulting the lecture she was sent to the principles office, so I excused myself to go outside but I saw she was headed outside the school yard and not to the principles office so I called you because I was afraid there's more to it than what happened at school so i called you fucker ok
Ok I said
Storměigh stopped at a liquor store
Ou look there's your brave girl buying herself alcohol, you worried about nothing fool, she's probably going to a party or having a party or drinking it hek she might me an alcoholic for all we know mate I said trying to convince my little brother so he could understand not everyone suffers
Shut up and follow her ass
OK ok mate I said
We arrived at a building i assumed it's where her apartment is
So mate do we just go in there and ruin her party i joke around because this situation is kinda crazy
Derëk mate if you want to leave just leave instead of joking around ok he said in a more serious voice
I hfft
OK I'll stay but what is your plan though I asked
He looked at me
Uhm I didn't think till this far actually he said while rubbing his neck embarrassed
I sigh
OK We'll wait for 30 minutes than we go to her apartment ok
He nods in agreement
30 minutes past
Pedro and I went to the building asking for Storměigh's room to the receptionist
Ou you looking for Miss Storměigh Mavè Pattěn-Baćh's room?
Are you her friends ?
Uhm I looked at Pedro then to her yes we friends
She clapped her hands happily
I thought she had no friends but here you guys are
I was worried about her though
Yes she smiles alot but nowhere days she hardly smile like before she said with a small frown
Pedro looked at me with a I told you so face
But i rolled my eyes come on its not that deep
Than i heard him Whisper to himself she smiled alot before
We than got the room number than went to the room
Mate don't you think it's rude for the receptionist to just blur out your friends privacy like that
But Pedro just gave a shut the fuck up face
I turn my face than Whisper I'm just saying it's rude that's all
We here he nervously said and we looked at each other
Knock Pedro It's your friend so he knocked
But no answer so we knocked some more but nothing
Pedro mate you sure this is even the right room
He didn't answer
So I turned to him but when I did i saw him breaking in the room
Mate that's illegal we can- Before I finished my sentence he opened the door but when we entered i was shocked
The house was a mess
There was glass everywhere and blood
Wait blood
I looked left and right to look for Pedro
Derëk he yelled come here
So I ran to where he was but froze
I saw her
She was in a pool of blood with a knife next to her and a smile on her face
She's pshyco
Sh she she's alive derëk but her pulses are very weak mate she's going to die mate she's going to die my brother says with tears running down his face
So I ran towards them
Fuck she lost way to much blood and her cuts god her cuts are way too deep so I carried her with blood still dripping all over the place lord why did she do this to herself
My god the receptionist said what happened to my poor girl
We-we don't know Pedro answered with tears still streaming down his face
Mate open the door i ordered him so he did what he was told and opened the door and I placed storměigh safely in the back sit
Take care of her please the receptionist said
We will I responded than drove off
Arriving at the hospital i called for help
They all ran towards us one by one and took storměigh with my bother next to me
Wait sir wait here, we will take it from here now the doctor said
Fuck I looked at my clothes, there was blood everywhere my little brother was right this girl is going through something deep if it caused her to go ahead and try to kill herself if it was not for my nosy brother of mine coming on time to save her
I look at him , eyes red from crying jezz he really does have a heart
Yo mate , he looked up at me and it just broke my heart to see him like this
You saved her I said with a small smile
Mate she could be dead for all we know he Whispers while sobbing
I hugged him , mate you saved her and the doctor will bring good news don't worry mate
Hours later the doctor came out and Pedro and I stood up once we saw him
Are you her family the doctor asked
We looked at each other
I cleared my throat, I'm her boyfriend and this is my brother, her family is in Africa so she has no family besides us here
Uhm yes my brother agreed clearly shocked at my lie
Well ok than I'm sorry for that
So she is alive and stable but abit weak because she has lost a lot of blood due to her injuries, her cuts were very deep which requires her to at least stay here for a week till she recover but if it goes slow than she has to be here for maybe a month or so and we'll have to talk about her attempt too you know this was a suicidal attempt and self inflated wounds
Now you both can stop worrying and go home an get some sleep ok boys
OK doctor we both said
So we left
Mate why did you say that you her boyfriend
Mate I don't know, i thought if we said we related they might look in to it or something so I thought boyfriend will be the best lie sorry mate don't be mad at me please
It's ok mate I understand But we'll have to visit her everyday starting from tomorrow ok mate he said
OK bro I agree
Dropping him off I went to my dad's hotel
Entering my penthouse , I went to my living room , took a sip on my whisky and sighed
This day was very exhausting
This maybe weird an all but I feel something for her,I'm not sure if it's pity but it's just something there
The fact that she tried taking her life is sad
I want to know her
Heal maybe
I don't know