Chereads / The Bipolar Girl by LleeChina / Chapter 6 - Chapter 6- So no thank you?

Chapter 6 - Chapter 6- So no thank you?

Where i was headed to I had no idea

All I knew was that

it was dark

Dark as my life

Dark as my soul

How ironic that I always end up in a dark place every single fucken time I mean can't I be in the light for once

Only people who are worth it stay in the light

Ouuuu right, I forgot that I'm worthless there abit

I walked for a while, feet cold and bare with blood all over ,I wondered why I was barefoot

I walked and walked and walked i had no idea where I'm going but I simply walked just because

I saw a light than started running towards it, I ran Like I never ran before

Just abit more storměigh I tell myself

Once I reached the source of the light i found a knife, pills,a gun,a rope, a blade and a letter, so I opened it with words written choose your death on it so I did as it was written i chose

So storměigh we have a knife, pills, a rope,a gun and a blade i told myself

What is the easiest way to die I asked myself

I've tried most of the things before

I tried rope already

I tried knife already

I tried blades already

Never tried a gun or pills though

With pills well I hate them that's why when I get sick I don't take tablets ever

But a gun,I never had money to afford it so I guess I'll take the gun to end myself than

It's settled

So I took it damh it's heavy than pressed it against my head than pulled the trigger while closing my eyes shut

1

2

3

Nothing

Ou I forgot to remove it from safety, stupid me

OK safety off now it's time

1

But dear,

There is sun after rain

Love after pain

The fuck is that

Who said that I turned around still with the gun in my hand looking for the source of the voice

Is there anyone here I call out

The sad thing is that nobody ever really knows how much someone is actually hurting , we could be standing next to someone who is really broken and is hurting and we wouldn't even know like yourself storměigh

Who the fuck are you and how do you know my name

Show yourself fucker

I know from the outside looking in storměigh it is hard to understand and I know from the inside it's hard to explain

I know, I have been there and I'm there still but I feel like you going through the most please let me help

I stopped talking about how I felt because I knew no one cared so what makes you think I'll trust you to help me I asked the unknown voice

I care

You are worth so much storměigh please stay strong and fight for you

I left out a tear run down

I don't think you understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your mind if you yourself don't know shit

When I shutdown I shut all the way down

I don't want to talk

I don't want to be surrounded by anyone

I don't want to answer my phone

And I don't want to be bothered

So please let me be

You are not a burden storměigh you are special

You are worth it

If only you could see yourself through my eyes ,you'd see you shine

I've learned in love and death ,we don't decide

So remember who you are and how the dark don't even know you

Call upon HIS name (jehovah )

Keep your eyes above the waves

Your soul will rest in HIS embrace

For you are HIS and HE is yours storměigh

So may spirit lead you

when your trust is without borders

Let you walk upon waters

Whenever HE will call you

Take yourself deeper than your feet could ever wander

And your faith will be made stronger

In the presence of our SAVIOR

Please open your eyes

I let few tears down till I was full blown crying now

I'm worth it

Someone thinks I'm worth it

All my life no one said that not even my family, so I just thought that was what everyone thought but whomever the unknown voice is said I'm worthy

I'm not a burden

The scene changed, I'm now it the ocean

Wait what happened to the forest, why am I in the middle of the ocean

And it's dark , justttt great note my sarcasm

No wait I can't swim

Fuck

So I automatically swing my arms up and down trying not to drown but that didn't help

I felt my body sink in the ocean, I went under I couldn't save myself I was drowning now

Slowly going down

I failed myself

I even failed the unknown voice

Tears came even though I was about to die how stupid right

I closed my eyes shut allowing myself to just die

Minutes later I felt two strong arms on my body carrying me while swimming

I gasped for air while coughing out the water

Looking at my surrounding I was met with two beautiful eyes I've ever seen, I don't even think having that shade of blue was legal

The sky and ocean gat nothing on them

Unknowns POV

It has been weeks since the 4th of April and I'm a bit worried

Storměigh is far away now so I can't save her anymore

I'll always find her in a pool of blood or hung herself with a rope

I know she suffers but my uncle and her family which is mine too will never let me talk to her

I've always drop her off the hospital and left her there

going back home hoping she is fine

I was there that day

I was there when I saw everything

I was there when-

I can't even say it in my mind that's how bad it was but what was even worse is that I let it happen i couldn't save her I'm useless

Now that she's far away i can't even communicate with her

I hope she is still alive

Derëk's POV

I've been here almost a month and it feels sad really since that day, the in counter with Pedro's friend I've never been the same, I see her in my dreams, I get flashbacks of that day almost every single day

I've not seen her for days but Pedro has ,he goes there every single day , she is lucky enough to have my cousin as her friend but as for me I don't know

It still feels weird , I mean I just met her well not meet meet because I found her in a freaken pool of freaken blood

I've been thinking of visiting her today, I don't know why but my heart don't feel right maybe because I pity her maybe that's the reason

So I told Pedro I'm going to visit her friend

Mateeeeeee really he said with a smile from ear to ear

I smiled too because his smile is that contagious

Yes mate I am if that's fine with you of course

Mate don't be stupid of course you can go even without my permission i wouldn't mind he said happily

OK mate thank you

Sure mate but what changed your mind , you'd usually not want to see her

That's not the whole truth , I'd go there secretly but I don't know why though, I just felt like being with her and when I hold her hand my heart beats twice as fast which I had no idea why it does that but it does, and I never told my brother about it because I feel embarrassed saying I went there secretly in the first place

Uhm mate just because I-I mean it's your friend and I'm just worried that's all

So you waited for weeks to go just because you cared he asked with a raised eyebrow

Yes mate , I don't know, I was just scared I lied

Clearly he did not buy my lie but went with it thank god

Sure anyways I'm off to school, good luck

I rolled my eyes good luck really Pedro I asked

YES, I KNOW YOU CARED ABOUT HER SO I HOPE SHE WAKES UP TODAY AND HOPEFULLY YOU THE FIRST PERSON SHE SEE he yelled

I froze in my place , he thinks i like her,

No no no no the fuck I don't, I just helped her or save her life whatever you Call it but not love ,I don't fucken love her

That would be silly, right, right?

I showered than got dressed

Than took off to the hospital

Hello Mr Iétś how are you today the receptionist said while flipping her hair , I mean lady it's not the right time to flirt right now

I'm great mem'

Is it visiting hours now?because I came here to see Ms Pattěn-Baćh

She looked at me still flirting but I ignored

Ou yes it is

You may go to her room Mr Iétś

I nod than left

How awkward was that ,she obviously didn't get the hint that I'm not interested, jeez ladies can be something really

I opened the door and entered

Than set at my usual place next to her bed

I looked at her for a while, her petite feature, her messy hair, her full lips I wounder if I could heal her just by kissing-

No man get it together Pedro's words are messing with your mind , why would you want to kiss someone you hardly knew

Get it together mate

I was hesitate on holding her hand but I did and out of nowhere my heart was beating twice as fast then I dropped the hand

Fuck I could have hurt her,stupid stupid stupid

So I took it again

This time ignoring how fast my heart is beating

Hey storměigh it's me derëk well I know you don't know me but I'm Pedro's cousin, well you might also not know who Pedro is but his the brave kid that tried to befriend you and actually saved your life

I've heard or read somewhere that when a person is in a coma they can actually hear you well not everyone but some so I hope you can hear me

I've been coming here everyday secretly and talking to you, you have helped me find a purpose and that purpose is to help you

I want to help you fight this inner battle you have going on inside you

I have been there but my battle was mostly lack of love

Growing up with rich and famous parents it's rare to find them at home , so I never got that love, all they do is send money and give me freedom that is all but with you i feel like your story is deeper , darker and you have lost all hope ,but I want to be your hope

I want to be able to help you get on your two feet

I'm not gonna lie i have thought of suicide, I felt like if I died my parents wouldn't care , they'll just make my burial super fancy with media news and camera crews everywhere

But I took myself to therapy and it was successful hence why I'm still alive but I left that centre and vowed to help anyone in need and right now Storměigh you are in need

But my dear

There is sun after rain

Love after pain

The sad thing is that nobody ever really knows how much someone is actually hurting ,we could be standing next to someone who is really broken and is hurting and we wouldn't even know like yourself storměigh

I know from the outside looking in storměigh it is hard to understand and I know from the inside it's hard to explain

I know, I have been there and I'm there still but I know you are going through the most so please please storměigh let me help you

I care

You are worth so much storměigh please stay strong and fight for you

You are not a burden storměigh you are special You are worth it

If only you could see yourself through my eyes ,you'd see you shine

I've learned in love and death ,we don't decide

So remember who you are and how the dark don't even know you

Call upon HIS name (jehovah )

Keep your eyes above the waves

Your soul will rest in HIS embrace

For you are HIS and HE is yours storměigh

So may spirit lead you

When your trust is without borders

Let you walk upon waters

Whenever HE will call you

Take yourself deeper than your feet could ever wander

And your faith will be made stronger

In the presence of our SAVIOR

Please open your eyes

I know i don't know you and you don't know me but my heart says a different story

My heart wants to help you

I want to help you

I really do care ,because fighting this battle alone will be hard

Just give me a sign any sign that you are listening

Please

I sigh than looked at her than froze

Sh-she a-sh she gave me a sign

Tears flowing at the side of her face

Sh-she she's crying

Meaning she can hear me ,she can actually hear me I said happily

He-hey storměigh it's still me derëk, I know you can hear me, I'll be here the whole day for you

Yes i know you find it weird that a stranger is talking to you and telling you that they will be here with you the whole day

I hope you wake up soon because you've been here for a while now and my brother is worried sick about you, he really cares about you and I hope you both become good friends because you deserve someone like him to look out for you maybe even me if you want

Lol my brother said you very rude but mostly to your bullies so I hope you take it easy on us when you wake up

I- Before I could finish my sentence storměigh moved her hand in mine

My god you about to wake up ,please wake up storm please wake up

Looking at the hands again they didn't move

I sigh

Please storm please

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours and still no sign of storměigh waking up beside the signs she showed hours ago

Looking at the time I sigh it's almost dark

I actually stayed here the whole day , Pedro is probably worried about me so I sighed and stood up to leave

Cough-cough

Wait who's coughing because it was not me

Cough-cough

Wait a minute

I turn around only to meet gray eyes and froze like an idiot

Storměigh is awake

I still stood there like the fool that I am lost in her gray beautiful eyes

Who the fuck are you

Where the fuck am I

Why the fuck are you here she said abit annoyed

I see what Pedro meant by rude

So I said Well firstly beautiful lady I'm Derëk Iétś I'm Pedro's cousin a guy who wanted to be your friend at school

She looked confused than shocked

I guess she remembers him

And you are in the hospital uhm because well because we ,my cousin and I brought you here after your you know your attempt to uhm get well kill yourself i said while whispering the last part

And I'm here because I came to visit and I care

I tried reading her face it held few emotions before it ended there was confession ,shock,processing the information she got to anger than it turned cold

I stupidly added

We even clean your house, bought new things there and fixed abit I said with a smile thinking she'll appreciate it but she wore her cold face staring at me

Moment of silence

I cleared my throat

Uhm i-

Why

She asked before I could finish my sentence

Why what I asked because I was confused

Why we saved her life or why we cleaned her house or why we took here to the hospital

Why the fuck did you save me

Wow there language I joked but nope she's not having it

Uhm because it's the right thing to do an-

Right thing my ass ,why didn't you let me just die,you can clearly see i didn't want to be here but your stupid asses didn't fucken get the memo she spat angrily

Wait hold up ,my cousin and I saved your life and this is what you say I asked annoyed at her action

And who the fuck said come save me

What really storm-

Wait how the fuck do you know my name she asked abit shocked

I sigh like I said earlier my cousin is from your school , so he knows your name and told me I said

She just stared at me

I sighed again

So no thank you I asked

I don't know maybe thank us for saving you

How about fuck you instead

Sassy and stubborn, this will be interesting

OK storměigh you don't have to be rude I'm simply trying to-

Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuu and stop saying my name it's annoying hearing it from you

Not gonna lie that hurts

Her words hurts

I sigh

I saw her trying to stand up but I ran and stopped her

Where are you going storměigh I asked

You not my mom

I know that but you can't leave yet you just woke up from a coma

I'll call the nurse wait here

Is there anyone there, nurseeeee I yell

I saw people running towards the room so I went back to Storměigh's bed

I was staring at her

Lord her eyes

you can get lost in them

I never knew Storms are this beautiful

I-

You called ou Mrs storměigh is awake

They stormed off to her checking her

Well I can see you are fine and healthy there's no problem at all you'll be discharged tomorrow

Your boyfriend here and his brother can take you home by tomorrow

You a really lucky girl

Your boyfriend here saved your life just in time the doctor said

Crap I forgot about that lie

Looking at storměigh she looked at me shocked and confused plus angry

I shrugged my shoulder

I'll explain later I mouthed but she was not having it

Doctor his n-

Babe we'll talk later ok I told her

She rolled her eyes as a response

OK and storměigh we'll have to talk about your attempt later on the doctor said

She than snapped her neck looking at me and luckily the doctor saw and saved me

No no young lady he did not tell me I simply put two and two together im a doctor remember now leave the poor boy alone he said laughing at her expression

I lifted my arms in surrender

This doctor will get me killed

With that he left

Before I could explain myself the door opened and in enters Pedro

Mate you still her- storměigh here said

She sighed

You awake my brother said

No shit sherlock

She said

There she goes again

Hey I'm Pedro an-

So I've heard she said abit irritated

Well -

Just tell me why the fuck is he my boyfriend and how do you know where I live and how on earth did you get in my house

Pedro and i both looked at each other

I sighed

Boy this is gonna be a long ass night