1. The Only Way Out
This was a poem that was written about a woman that commits suicide because nothing makes her happy. Simple places like school and home didn't bring her joy, so she pretended that everything was okay. After she jumps onto the rocks that kill her, she stares at her body. Everything is peaceful and she doesn't feel the suffering anymore, nor does she hear death's melody calling her, a metaphor for her really wanting to die. Eventually, she sees that there's life after death and crosses on, feeling like she belongs.
I wrote this poem because anyone can feel suicidal, whether they're depressed or dealing with a hardship. It's difficult knowing how people feel unless we reach out and ask them. For some people, death is the only way out, being dead is easier than living in a world where everything is more dystopian rather than utopian. Often, people are depressed because they have a chemical imbalance, or they realize how the world works and understanding people and the world and how troubling things are. These things make people feel isolated. Most people live a fantasy and just follow what they're told or how they should look. The narrator couldn't ever be happy knowing that she was living a world where corruption takes over and people follow that dystopian.
Death is where there is rebirth, and death is where there is peace and not needing to be how and what people say you should be. Death is where there is no calamity; suicide is a very serious thing and if you feel that way, please seek help. We are losing people more than ever.
*
2. I And My James D
This poem is written about my first date experience in 2017 and how this boy James wasn't ready to be in a relationship. He told me that I was too young and that I am a nice girl, he didn't want to take advantage of me. I was 17 and he was 19, turning 20. A few months later, he was dating another girl my age at our job (we all worked at a supermarket at the time) and this girl had no idea James and I had a date. James lied to me, or so it seems. I don't know why James did what he did; there isn't always a reason. People almost always act without thinking.
The girl I reference in the poem is a girl named Sage whom I trained at the store, and she knew about James and I dating for a while. She went behind my back, and she and James were in a relationship for a while, I felt that she used me so that she could get James. It didn't bother me; I want a man not a boy. No man is easy to take, and no real man plays mind games. I think James wanted to have some fun and get easy sex and because I wasn't going to give him that, he went for Sage.
Apparently, he and Sage aren't together anymore (why would they be)? People at work always talked about what happened between James and me like it was some crazy story. I don't feel animosity towards James and Sage, but I think I had the most growth out of the two --- sometimes, they'd ask others how I am doing. I moved on and have done great things while they are still the same and using others. The purpose of the poem was to write how I viewed the situation (it isn't too personal). The first five poems were written for a Creative Writing Course and this poem was supposed to be based off Poe's "Annabel Lee" because James was the only guy I had dated, but I had been on other dates since then, and not with boys, just men. :)
*
3. Fetch
Fetch is a short poem that uses personification. The poem narrates people as dogs. Dogs are trained to act a certain way and eventually, they become domesticated and don't act like dogs. Fetch is a metaphor for people conforming and making others do the same, and eventually becoming like dogs. They can catch the frisbee and have so much fun and live their life, make things their property --- control how things should be, or lose their humanity to the property.
*
4. Eugenia
Eugenia is written about the popular Youtuber Eugenia Cooney. I have done my research on her, reading comments, and watching videos on former anorexics that talk about her. Apparently, Eugenia is an exhibitionist anorexic, she loves showing off her body because she wants people to tell her how skinny she is, she feeds off the comments, which makes her starve herself more. What Eugenia does feeds Ana (the anorexia). Anorexia may not always be about being skinny, but eventually, it's always about not being fat and not gaining weight. Eugenia knows what she's doing; she feeds off people's comments because in some ways, it sets her apart. Eugenia is living a life that people don't know, and whatever that life is the anorexia must give her the attention that she needs. Therefore, she wears scandalous clothing, she body checks to see if she lost the weight, is still bone thin, and wants viewers to see how skinny she looks. Eugenia has been successful because people watch her, subscribe to her, pay her to fulfill their disgusting fetishes, and leave worrisome comments.
Exhibitionist Anorexics are usually on Tumblr showing off their skin and bones. They're the skinny that most women want to be, they're not the healthy, realistic thin, just malnourished looking. People must stop telling her how thin she is and how worried they are because Eugenia feeds off the comments, it proves that she is getting skinnier, and that Ana is winning. If people stop, maybe Eugenia will get the help she needs.
*
5. Mouth
Mouth is a poem that describes the narrator getting her braces tightened and how the process feels having braces. These waits took forever as you must be at your appointment at a certain time, but you don't go in right away. You can wait for a full hour sometimes. Then, you brush your teeth. Then the Orthodontics checks your braces and the improvements that the braces made. They change the colors (which keep the brackets and wires in place and help bring the teeth together). Every time I would get my braces tightened; my mouth would hurt for at least a week. Having braces was an experience. (Fun Fact: I had braces twice).
*
6. Virtuous Whore
Virtuous Whore is a personal poem about my mother and her lifestyle changes. My mother has lived different phases and has been with different men. Now, she is a devoted Christian and has completely changed her looks, her image, and her beliefs. This is a common situation when people breakup and don't want to fit a particular image anymore. She went from divorcing my father to being with a Harley Davidson biker who abused alcohol. My mother was the biker wife and fit this role; they divorced and now she is a Christian, as stated above.
People change so much for others because they think that if they do then people will love and accept them. People lose friends when they no longer fit their lovers or friend's benefit or image. My mother lost everything after her second divorce. In many ways, she has changed for the best. In other ways, she is still the same. At 52, my mother still struggles with this and many other internal issues. Many people do. Be yourself and be with someone that loves you and won't abuse you, this man almost hurt my mother. Luckily, my mother got out alive, but many women don't. Many women destroy their lives and safety being who they aren't for men that could replace them in a heartbeat. Wait for the right man to come along.
*
7. Mechanical Delinquents
This poem is about someone refusing to fit into societal standards but then mocks what everyone else is doing. While the narrator refers to people acting upon sin and following the crowd, the narrator feels angry that they feel forced into being like everyone else. "Mechanical Delinquents" is a metaphor for shaping non-conformists to be the same and be "good," while the irony is that the non-conformists are usually the ones with virtues, and the conformists are the ones that commit the bad deeds that "delinquents" are stereotyped into committing.
Eventually, the narrator is stuck between being themselves while conforming at the same time. This thought is impossible but that's what life is like. People are mad when you don't acknowledge them, but they don't care to acknowledge you either. People think you smoke because you're a non-conformist and unique, but they smoke. Smoking is a common pastime and even outlet that people have, and it's always the rebels that are represented as smoking. This concept is in moves, T.V. Shows, e.g.
There are common norms that people follow but people cannot explain why you must be a certain way, act a certain way, talk, or look a specific way. As a non-conformist, it drives me crazy when people do these things. Most people banter and like impression, I love passion and authenticity. I don't care about being liked, but that's what conformity is --- conformity is making people comfortable, accepting that things are the way they are, fighting for natural rights but not caring to follow what they wish would change. It's easy to riot and fight, but it's different when you listen and defend, when you acknowledge, and read.
The poem describes the discrepancies that society has built and condones, but those that fight the system are crazy, are threats, are even assassinated. We aren't popular, nor do people like what we say, but you must accept their lives and their rules. There are people like me that hide but promote their lives through the media and even in their careers. This poem encompasses all what's wrong in society and how as a minority, the majority just follow and don't think.
*
8. Mask
Mask is your typical sibling relationship. My older brother was always jealous of me, and he always found a reason to be angry with me. One day we're fine and talking and then the next, he's angry about something from three years ago, even though we spoke and had forgiven each other, and then he'd ignore me for months. This poem is me realizing that he's bitter and not taking his projections seriously; however, I don't engage him. Now, I am 23 and he is 24 going on 25; we hang out for family holidays and birthdays and talk every now and again, but I've learnt to keep family at a distance but get along with them when needed.
My older brother could be manipulative and would make me the problem; eventually, dad got involved and I told him how I felt. Dad wanted us to get along and not be like our family and stop talking to each other, but it's okay to keep someone out of your life if you don't get along. I didn't deserve the way he treated me, and my brother never apologized, but sometimes people don't have the capacity to apologize because they hate their lives and themselves. His spit got him nowhere and me everywhere. It was like my older brother had everyone wrapped around his finger.
Now, I don't hold the past against my brother, but I don't have a relationship with him. I think we just tolerate each other at this point, and we don't have family finding their way into our problems and making things worse. Ever since some of our family members were cut off things have been better. Family can be a bad influence, and sometimes it divides siblings, especially those finding a way out. I know how I was treated and just because no one sees that doesn't mean that my narrative is false nor untrue; it shouldn't invalidate how I was treated and my feelings. Even though he was nicer to some people, that doesn't mean that how he treated me was right and that it didn't happen. People forget how someone they like treated others. I will never forget my mistreatment by him, but I have forgiven him for my peace. My older brother won't get the best of me.