9. Bayside
Bayside is where I grew up. When I was a teen, I viewed the world differently from my peers and hated a lot of things. I was an angsty, rebellious teenager. I was always angry and didn't always know why. I felt like I was the outsider and that I was in and out and no one noticed nor cared. I reference homes and fish to show how quickly fish are killed and hunted and we don't think about their families or their feelings. I personify buildings to show how quickly people get rid of things and don't think about things. People just walk and have no thought process. Lastly, trees are removed from the ground for more space, and we don't think about nature and its significance. We don't think about the animals and bugs that rely on trees as a habitat. People easily discard things and are selfish.
I left Bayside when I was 18 for college. No one I knew went to my college, it was a fresh start, and I could rediscover myself. I have grown so much leaving my hometown and attending a college elsewhere. I hated my hometown for a while because a lot of negative things happened and negative thoughts remained there, but that's adolescence. I needed to escape and just find my way and understand myself. When I left my home and revamped, I understood everything a lot more and why what happened during my teens had taken place (family, rebellion e.g.). I don't regret living in the dorms because it was the best option for my family and me. Home had gotten bad, and I was the target for my Nana's wrath. Eventually, my older brother and second brother hated me because they feared Nana. A lot of family members stopped talking to me because I didn't like nor tolerate the disrespect that I received. I was tired of being the scapegoat, so I left because I felt it was best for them and for me. Nana calmed down but picked up bad habits, now those two brothers get the worst of her anger. They're all stuck and I'm not. Sometimes, you must start fresh and rebuild your life.
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10. Magic
Magic describes a romantic relationship where someone experiences a deep betrayal from someone who wanted to take advantage of them. Eventually, that person never heals and uses people like they were misused. Love is almost always treated like a game, even a magic card game. One day the person is there and the next, the romance is over. Everything has ended and it's unexpected, then the person finds a new person while their lover is hurt. Hurt people rarely go and hurt those that made them feel a certain way or inflicted trauma, they take out that pain on someone else as a way of regaining power. Then, the people the hurt person that deal with that trauma carry it and hurt others.
Being hurt is a cycle and people victimize themselves rather than understanding why the person hurt them and then healing. Dating is seen as a game and for people just to rely on someone else. People are almost always emotionless as romance benefits their sin and trauma rather than true connection. People should heal from the breakup rather than rely on another lover to heal them and give them the power they need. People always misuse and never confront what hurt them. It's a vicious cycle.
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11. Computer Screen
Computer Screen is a harder poem because it points of views two different offenders: a male and a woman. The women generally stalk other women and idolizes them, stalk and harass them with vicious comments. The men generally use the internet so that they can coerce underage kids for a relationship. Sometimes, the women scout for the men. Women generally make hate comments but secretly want to be the person they hate, and the men post sexual and disgusting comments. There are exceptions as the roles can be reversed.
Sometimes, children meet the pervert or pedophile somewhere like their home and go missing. These children are killed or are sold into pedophile rings. These children just disappear. Pedophiles, perverts, and stalkers need higher sentences because they are a threat to society. There are (mainly women) people that die at the hands of these people and are even tortured. People defend pedophiles, they are sick in the head. Children cannot understand sex or its dangers. Perverts and pedophiles love younger people because they're more vulnerable to sexual advances. Social media gives these creeps and disgusting people access to younger victims. It doesn't help that people romanticize perverts and pedophiles online; young girls dress in such a way where they want male attention. Pedophiles and people that torture others for sexual gain are dangerous and need to be locked up forever!
People that premediate murder with extreme abuse and PTSD are given the death sentence, but those that hunt on young children and adolescents aren't put away. These people are on social media writing inappropriate comments and even flirt with the young cashier, making her uncomfortable; people love them. People cannot get enough of perverts. They are everywhere, they're in the education system, your neighborhood, your local supermarket, and even your job. They shouldn't have rights nor access to others because what they do is wrong, and they know this, but people excuse their behavior. Too many people die at the ends of these perverts, and it must change.
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12. Hell
Hell is a poem that describes a job that the narrator hates. The narrator is a cashier, and they hate working a job where they're like a prisoner. The customer is always right in those type of jobs, and it's like no matter how well you do their job or how many times you follow the rules, everything is exempt when a customer wants something. You're never right when you're the worker, even though the manager tells you the rules which they don't follow. I remember when I was a cashier, it felt like time took forever to pass. I was stuck in a place that made me feel miserable, a place that I hated. When you have a job that people don't respect, they treat you like you're nothing, especially when you're a minor. It says something about adults that mistreat kids working. The customers were always so dumb, they never read sales, price tags, and never understood anything, but acted like they knew what they were doing. I was always happy leaving my job because it was all over until my next shift, where I was stuck again.
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13. Amorphous
Amorphous is a gothic poem where the narrator loves her metal, rock, and alternative music. There's a stigma around these genres, but they talk about read life issues, how a person feels, and symbolism. In pop music and rap, the music is always about lust and money, metal music is beautiful and speaks about real life problems and even events, and how the singer talks about these feelings. The narrator loves metal, rock, and alternative music because they're the most realistic; they aren't usually about sex, money, drugs, and dumb stuff; however, these three genres can speak about how sex, money, and drugs are dangerous and how they can negatively influence society.
The narrator listens to these genres and feels different because she has a more realistic mindset. Metal has a bad rep for being the devil's music, but plenty of rappers have murdered and have gone to jail, these rappers sing about the murders. Rappers and Pop singers can do something so terrible, and people love them. Rap and Pop generally have bad influencers, and people follow that. The narrator connects with the dark side of life because there must always be darkness to live amongst the light. Lastly, it's more realistic because these genres talk about topics through realistic narratives. If a metal singer talks about love, it's not lust, just how the person makes them feel. love isn't just romantic, which is generally seen in pop.
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14. Raspberry Rendezvous
This poem was written when I was celebrating Easter Sunday a few years ago. I took a tea bag named the title of the poem and dipped it in hot water, I saw that the tea slowly dyed the water a deep red. The red reminded me of a period, so I wrote a poem where something as simple as a red tea bag made me wonder about the female reproductive system. Sometimes, as a woman, I forget how scary periods can be and how sick they can make a woman. The tea also reminded me of when women miscarry and the blood what comes with that. Women are just always bleeding and it's normal to us, even though the blood can be gross. Then, you dip the teabag again, and the blood just comes back. It's just a continuous cycle where the woman keeps bleeding, and we act casually when this happens.
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15. The Ringleader
This poem describes my mother's family and the favoritism that takes place. Her older sisters are controlling, and her sister Abbey picks fights with everyone and expects apologizes for what she starts. The second, Debra, is the devils advocate and plays all sides. She fears Abbey so does that Abbey wants but will act like she's okay with my mother even if she isn't. Whenever Abbey is mad at someone Debra will be mad, too. My Grandma Judy, their mother, supports this chaotic triangle, so these three women create drama and don't even acknowledge that they're the problems. Abbey never takes accountability for the trouble she causes, and she even ruins relationships for herself and others. Abbey knows this but doesn't care because the main family do what she wants to make her happy. Abbey is used to people giving her what she wants, and my mother put her foot down. My mother doesn't care to feed Abbey's ego anymore, now Abbey wants nothing to do with my mother and my brothers and me, but we don't care about her. We find Abbey pathetic. The whole situation is funny.
One night, I had a dream where I was still angry with Abbey because she thinks that her children can say whatever they want about others, but when anyone else does it's a problem. For a while I was angry with her and wanted to hit her. I had a dream where I was driving, and my college roommate Alicia was in the passenger sat. I was speeding down the road, stopped by the police, and I remember the dream ended at the police station. My father entered and he was wearing a police uniform (he's a home care nurse in real life) and he was disappointed. I believe that the dream was telling me to watch my actions regarding Abbey because she isn't worth the trouble and aggravation. Furthermore, Abbey will never care about the damage she causes and will continue causing. Getting angry and physical will hurt my life and not Abbey's life because everyone is on her side. It's not as if her family is worth the fight. Plus, my father raised me better than that.
My mother's family talks about my father even though he did a better job raising my brothers and me than my aunts did raising their children, and my grandma isn't an exception. My aunts' children are like them: spoiled, ignorant, chaotic, and dramatic. Tons of people like this dynamic, so they have more in life, but they don't have the peace that my father and our family do. My dad doesn't care if my mother's sisters say things about him because it's a reflection of them than it is my father. My dad once said the women on my mom's family will kill each other, and they already have, metaphorically. They're miserable and haven't gotten what they wanted from my parents, my brothers, and me. Whenever they're mad at someone, they exclude the immediate family. Now, they've been excluded. I guess karma sucks, doesn't it? Abbey makes everything about herself, and so far, it hasn't been working in her favor. She lost the strong people because we don't care enough. Soon, everyone else will leave. No one will deal with Abbey anymore and her constant job issues that she creates. She'll lose everything, and I cannot wait for that to happen. Her family is worthless, and they know that; they act the way they do because they're bitter and need someone to blame.
This poem talks about me knowing better and not letting some nobody ruin my energy and life. There are more important things, and Abbey isn't one. She's worthless to me. If she died tomorrow, it would honestly be a blessing. I; however, would be okay with Abbey suffering a bit. Her bitterness is eating her alive and eventually, the guilt will eat her. The people that tolerate her and follow her will lose everything. It isn't hard being a good person, but for most people, it's hard. The good people always get and keep whatever God gives them; the rotten eggs receive nothing. This analysis is long, but it's a poem on not letting rotten and bitter family members continue the generational curse and hurt me because they choose to be hurt, mainly because they lack something or were hurt themselves.
The whole situation brought my parents, my brothers, and me together. My parents never got along after their divorce (mainly my mom because she's immature and was the main cause; she was like Abbey, causing problems and making herself the victim) and now, they get along. Last Christmas, I was meeting my father and brothers for brunch and mom wanted to come. There was no arguing, everyone got along, and family wasn't the topic of conversation. Everyone was mature and having a good time. Sometimes, things happen so that you have what you really need, those that need and support you. Those that love you. Abbey has people that fear her, so they deal with her. People don't love Abbey, but I have people that love me. That's all that matters.
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16. Behind the Shower Curtain
This poem details how there are pedophiles everywhere, especially in families. These people have families and do inhumane things to their family members. Alas, children can have these tendencies and hurt the other children that are in the household. The shower curtain represents how everything is hidden and nothing is seen. Those that are vulnerable and naïve towards the pedophile say nothing and think that everything that's taking place is normal, or they know that they're being violated but have no support system to help them.
The perpetrators always seem normal for the most part, and it's nearly impossible believing the bizarre and disgusting crimes they commit because it's hard for society to see that some people are so twisted and messed up. The abuse even continues and sometimes, the abused continue that cycle. There are family members that sense, witness, and are even told of the crimes and defend the victim. The pedophile is then locked away. There are mothers that have boyfriends or husbands that molest and sexually abuse her children, and they know and do nothing or blame the child; some of these mothers even exploit their children. There are mothers that see the abuse and act, defending their child or children. Unfortunately, these children can be scarred and are often ignored, and they can turn to crime and have a history of mental illnesses and trauma — no one helps the poor victims of extreme abuse until they treat others how they were treated.
When you treat someone like they're an animal, they become one. Often, the victims pay the price of the crimes that they suffered and the criminal walks free. Society ignores pedophiles and act like what they do is okay. The victims always get the bad end of the stick. The justice system is flawed and needs revamping. Get children of abuse out of their homes and listen to them. No one would make up something so bizarre if it weren't happening, most that don't commit crimes end up dead. When will society step up and treat people better and give justice to those hurt, abused, violated, and left traumatized? Society takes a stand when it's too late, and we blame the victim. Stop blaming a child!