I woke up with a start, my mind foggy for a minute before I could remember where I was. I looked around myself. My blanket over my body, my shelf full of old CD's and books in my direct field of vision, my skateboard against the wall. I was in my bedroom and I was safe. That was enough for me, at least at the moment. When I was dreaming however, my mind wasn't even nearly as nice to me. I dreamed of Eztli again. I dreamed of seeing Tim on the table again, I dreamed of Charlotte and then I saw myself lying on that table, Doctor Davis above me with a knife in her hands. It's what woke me up, seeing that knife so close to my skin shook me up and my eyes opened. When it seemed like I was just going to see that same image over and over again if I closed my eyes I decided to get up and at least try to eat something even if my mind was protesting against that. I wandered into the kitchen taking some cereal and pouring it into a bowl. Screw anyone that says that milk should come first. I eat cereal without the milk, how's that for a plot twist? I had to stop talking to myself. I ate my breakfast and then went to sit on the couch staring at nothing. My mom came into the room a few minutes later and looked at me weirdly. 'What?' I asked her. 'Nothing, I just thought you would be dragging me out of bed the second you woke up, considering your dad and I said you can go and visit Tim today.' I completely forgot about that. I didn't how I could but somehow, my mind warped thing up so weirdly that while thinking about Tim I actually managed to forget that I would visit him today. I ran to my room and pulled out some faded camo pants and a black hoodie. I didn't bother with my hair other than just running my hands through it a few times. People would call it a mess, but hey, I had more important things to do, ok? I laced up my shoes and went to the car where my mom was already waiting, and we drove off towards the hospital. I knew it was gonna be hard to see Tim again, it always will be, him being in a coma, me being reminded of seeing him on that table… it was never going to be easy. I brought my hand up to my mouth and being chewing on my nails absentmindedly. I knew my mom wanted to scold me, but she could see I was stressed so she let it go. She pulled up to the hospital parking and I had to hold myself back from jumping out of the car before she shut it off. The second she did, she grabbed my hand before I could jump out, however. I turned to look at her impatiently. She rolled her eyes. 'Ok, listen, I have to get some things from the store, so you call me when you're done here. And be careful, you hear me? Anything weird happens, you either call me or go to one of the staff. I'm gonna walk you to the door and if you feel like it's all too much, you call me alright? I'm serious Juliet, I'm worried about you, you know I am.' I nodded. 'I know. And don't worry, I'll call you if anything weird happens or anything.' She got out of the car then and I followed. She actually ended up walking me to the information desk and left when she made sure I was really alright. I didn't blame her of course, considering all that's happened, she was actually handling it surprisingly well.
Once she left I walked to the elevators and pressed the number of the floor that Tim was hospitalized at. I walked down the long hall that seemed to end way too soon and before I knew it I was standing in front of his door again. I took a deep breath and stepped in. I really didn't know what I was expecting to be honest. He looked the same as he did the last time, maybe there was one tube less connected into his arms, but that was about it really. He was looking like he was asleep but at the same time so lively. I really didn't know how to describe it. I sat down next to him just like before and took his hand in mine. Yeah I knew it was cheesy, but so what. I exhaled slowly and then looked at him. 'Hey Tim. It's me again. I'm betting you're sick of me already. I don't know what to tell you really. I mean Noah and Rose went after Rachel and I haven't heard back from them yet, but they're probably gonna tell us whether they found her today. Or at least some news yknow? To be honest with you Tim, I really don't know what to do. I mean the minute I lay down to sleep I'm back in there again. I really hope that that's not what you're seeing right now. When you wake up, you'll tell me what it was like for you yeah? Just dark or did you hear stuff, dream stuff or what? I really don't know what to do without you Tim, I'll tell you that. I just… ugh, this is so hard. I'm lost alright! I don't know what to do, how I'm supposed to act or anything. We really need you hear right now, so you'd do us all a huge favour if you would just wake up. Please? No? Fine. Well I'm still gonna stay here for a few more minutes until my mom's done with some stuff.' And I did. I stayed in that room for 10 more minutes until my phone beeped with a message. My mom. I sighed and slowly dropped Tim's hand. His skin was still so dry and so different to how it was before. I remembered him pulling me along when we were running from Eztli and around the mine, I remembered him catching me when I fell in the skate park the first time we met. His hand was warm then. Warm, but not dry, it was just, I don't know, nice? I think that was the best way to describe it really. I then stood up and walked towards the door. I turned around again and looked at Tim. 'Bye Tim, I'll see you soon, I promise.' Then I closed the door behind me and started towards the elevators. While the elevator was taking me back up to the main level I was thinking. About Tim, about how life was supposed to go on now. How was I supposed to go to sleep knowing what I was going to see in my dreams every night? I was so caught up in my own thoughts I wasn't looking where I was going and crushed straight into a person coming towards me. I was close to falling, but luckily the person caught me and steadied me. I looked up and was faced with caramel-like eyes. 'Noah?'
'Hey.' 'Hey? That's all I get? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were looking for Rachel Davis. Please don't say that something went wrong.' He looked to the side, 'Well...' 'Oh no. You seem fine, so it's Rose. Is she ok?' 'She's alive. But she's got a few injuries. She's got a few burns and bruises and a broken shin, or at least I think that's what the doctor's called it.' 'Damn it. I- is she in one of the rooms right now?' 'yeah, I was just going there, I think you should go with me, we've got something to tell you. I mean, I should tell Ethan as well, but I'll just call him later.' I was confused as to why they needed to talk to me, but I followed him down the hall and into Rose's room. She was laying on the bed, her leg in a cast and elevated. It was laid on an iron splint. Rose looked up as we entered the room and gave a small smile. 'Hey you. How have you been? Your mind giving you any troubles?' I looked at her with shock evident in my eyes. 'Yeah. How did you…' Rose shook her hand. 'I've been there, I know how things go.' I nodded and sat down on one of the chairs opposite her bed and looked at Noah. 'So? What is it that you two have to tell me about?' Rose and Noah then had what I would call a telepathic conversation and then turned towards me and Noah started talking. 'Here's the thing. We went there, to the abandoned warehouse and then split up to look for her. Everything was going well until Rachel, well, she burned the building.' 'She what?!' 'Yeah. We ran to the door of course, but in the process, a wooden board fell on top of her and I couldn't move it at first at all. I had to break it to be able to lift it, but the thing is, when the board fell on her and beat her to the floor, her shin got broken so she couldn't walk either. Once we got to the hospital however, Lieutenant Stone called me, and this is why we needed to talk to you.' I looked at him confused, 'you needed to talk to me because Stone called you?' 'It's more of what he said to us. Juliet, the cops and the firefighters searched that whole place many times, but they couldn't find her body anywhere.'
I felt like someone had just pulled the ground from underneath my feet. We were so close and yet… I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Noah who was looking down at me. 'Is- is she…' 'We don't know. We think she's dead because here's the thing Juliet. The doors were locked, there were no windows or anything she could escape through. By the time the firefighters put out the fire, enough time has passed that no body remains could be found anymore. Considering how much fire there was, for how long it took them to put it out, the temperatures in that place Juliet… this is gonna sound weird but, a human body can only withstand so much for a certain amount of time. So, I think we can say she's dead. I know, it's not 100% and I'm guessing you won't be able to just accept that, but even if she isn't dead which there's a really small chance of, if any, we have photos which we have sent to every police and tv station and they're going to spread it out so if she is alive, if anyone sees her anywhere, we'll know.' I nodded numbly and slumped down in the chair. I felt like I couldn't breathe again, like I was drowning, like I was back in my nightmares. I tried to shake myself out of it, but it just seemed impossible. I felt a glass pushed into my hands and a voice telling me to drink it. My hands were shaking as I lifted the glass to my mouth and slowly drank the water that was in it. It wasn't icy cold, but it wasn't warm either, it was just the right temperature to bring me back to the real world. I put the glass back down on the bedside table and buried my head in my hands.
I had to see Tim again. I knew I saw him just now, but there was something about him that just radiated calm. Even when it looked like the end, he knew just what to say and do to fix it all. I didn't know how. He just did, and the only thing I knew for sure in that moment was that I had to see him again, to hold his hand, to talk to him, no matter whether he could hear me or not. What I would give to know what he was thinking right now or if he was here with me and Noah and Rose.
Tim's mind was blank. Or at least that was what it felt like to him. It didn't feel like a dream, didn't look quite like one either. It felt like his eyes were closed and as if though he was in that stage where you have to force yourself to sleep but you cant. At the same time however, he couldn't wake up either. He couldn't open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. There were flashes of memories going through his mind sometimes as well. A few times he could see himself back in the mine. He was being tortured by Eztli one minute and standing in the kitchen with Juliet the next one. The most horrible flash of memories came however when Tim found himself on that table again with that woman standing above him, Rachel, or whatever it was that Eztli had called her. He tried to get rid of those flashes of memories, tried to think of his family, of his friends, of Juliet. He tried to think about the day he met her, how they were skating, how they went for ice cream afterwards. He then thought about the day that him and Juliet went swimming to the river along with the rest of their class. It was nice and Tim was having a good time. Until he wasn't anymore. At one point he saw a few of his classmates trying to pull Juliet underwater, but he stayed where he was. It was only when Juliet didn't come out from under the water as soon as she should've that he got worried. He swam over to her as quickly as he could, pulled her out and then swam back to the other classmates before anyone could even notice that he was gone. As quickly as the memory was there, it was gone again, and Tim was once again staring at the darkness behind his eyelids.
And for some time, there was all that was, only silence and darkness. Then he thought he heard a dog barking, but it soon faded, and he was drowned into the darkness again. The next time he could hear someone talking to him again, he thought the voice he heard sounded familiar, but he couldn't hear it clearly. Then he felt pressure, he felt someone take his hand in theirs. He tried to focus so he could place the voice and his heart leaped once he finally figured out who it was; Juliet, she was there, and she was ok. So, they managed to get out of the mine after all, but how? He tried to listen to her, but his hearing just spaced out a few times, so he was left with sentences without beginnings and ends. But he heard enough to piece it all together and figure out what was going on. He had to wake up as soon as possible, but before he even realized it, everything went silent again, there was no more hand on his.
He completely lost track of time, didn't know how long it has been since Juliet has come to visit him or for how long he was in the hospital in the first place. The thing that irked him the most, however, was that he had no idea when Juliet would come to visit him again, he just knew that he had to hear her voice again. He had to wake up, not only because he had to see his parents and his friends again. he wanted to see Juliet's smile again, the way her eyes used to light up whenever someone mentioned skating and swimming. The way she defended the rights for girls and why it shouldn't be weird for them to like skateboarding and knives, but at the same time to be able to look fragile and beautiful and not get judged for it. For wanting to be strong but charming, for wearing pink and pretty dressed, but wanting to go skateboarding the next minute. To see the way that she rolled her eyes when she knew she lost an argument but didn't want to admit it. All of those little things, he wanted to see them again, he had to.
But above it all, he had to wake up for himself. After everything he had gone through, he had to wake up. There was no way that he was going to give up, not now. Even though… at the same time there was a small voice inside his head telling him to. Because really, if there was any good time to give up, it was probably then. It was definitely difficult not to. Everything that happened, being kidnapped, tortured, cut open and now he was in a coma, and for what? Because he wanted to save some girl that he knew for so little time? It only got him in trouble so far, but deep inside he knew that that voice was wrong. Juliet and him, they've been through so much together, he knew he would feel selfish if he gave up. He didn't know what they were. They were friends, sure, but were they something more? The only way he could ever figure that out however, was if he could just open his eyes, but that was easier said than done.
The next time he came to, he heard Juliet next to him and she held his hand again and he knew that he was so close to being able to just open his eyes and seeing hers, but he felt as if all the wires between his brains and the rest of his body got cut. He listened to her talk about Noah and Rose and Ethan and Rachel and he heard when she got up and left once again.
He wanted to do something, and his body was not cooperating in the slightest which was the worst of it all, really. Because it made him feel weak. When he thought back, to being in the mine, being tortured by Eztli and cut up by Rachel, he thought that those would be the worse things he would ever have to experience. But he was wrong, this was. Lying there, he was safe, no one was going to torture him, but at the same time he felt helpless. And he only ever felt that way before they moved. When he had to leave all the people and places he loved behind. He knew it wasn't right lying to Juliet when she asked him why he came to their school, but he couldn't tell her what really happened. He simply couldn't find the strength in himself to tell her about a little girl he left behind, his little sister, his Emily. He tried so many times to bury any and all memories of her away, but it wasn't that simple, it was as if though they had cemented in his mind and he could never throw them out. He remembered how they used to go out to the small driveway in front if their house and he would try to teach her how to skate. How to position her legs correctly, how to turn and how to stop, just the basics, he was afraid she'd get hurt if he showed her the more complicated things. She'd gotten hurt one time when trying to turn too sharply, she fell and scraped her knee. It was nothing major of course, but he was still worried even after he patched her up and made sure she wasn't hurt anywhere else. How she'd always beg him to take her to the skate park, but he would always refuse, saying he'd take her when she was older. He would tell her that skate parks weren't for little girls, even if he saw how good some of the girls at the skate park were, girls that were even younger than Emily. But he wouldn't let her know this, he was too scared of her getting hurt.
But the memory that he knew he could never get out of his head was when he came home from the skate park one day and found her lying on the road. His mom was next to her already, crying and holding a phone, calling an ambulance. They only found out later what had happened; she was going home from school, walking on the sidewalk, just like he always told her to. But as it turned out, no one told her friends that. Or rather, someone did, but they didn't listen. They ran on the road, passing a football when a car came. The car was going straight at one of her classmates, but they didn't see or hear it, only Emily did. She ran to them to pull them off the road and to the sidewalk, the car swerved to try to avoid hitting her classmates, but in the chaos that was present, it hit Emily instead. The car stopped of course, but it was too late. She tried to help her friends and she died because of it. Tim regretted a lot of things that day, he felt guilty. Guilty for going to the skatepark instead of walking her home like he sometimes would, but more than that he felt guilty for not spending more time with her when she asked him to, for not taking her to the skatepark, showing her tricks and how to perfect them, because she could be great at it, she had talent, he knew that. From then on, he never told anyone about Emily, about the talented seven-year-old girl that he had to leave behind. He hid all the pain behind smirks, jokes, laughter, and skateboard tricks, it was the only thing that reminded him of her. Tim tried to push those thoughts away, but at the same time, he realised something. She would want him to fight, with everything he had, because she thought that he was amazing and invincible, even where there were moments where everything seemed lost, she believed that he could somehow fix it.
Tim tried to push all of those thoughts away and tried to focus on her. On Emily. On the way her eyes shined when she managed to skate well for the first time, and brake and turn just like him. He focused on all those happy memories, going home from school together, her telling him about what she saw and how she beat all of her boy classmates at climbing, him making her a snack, her favourite sandwich, with butter and jelly and a glass of orange juice after it. How they used to watch skating competitions before her bed time and her telling him that she was sure he could do all the tricks the performers aced. How they spent all that time together, either skating, climbing, watching tv, or just talking nonsense. He focused on how she told him 'you can do it' before his local skating competition. He focused on her little voice saying that over and over again in his mind.
And then, Juliet came to his room again and held his hand. And she said 'Hey Tim.' The way she did so many times before, but this time, her voice broke at the end. At that moment, everything seemed so easy to him. So, he did the one thing that until then seemed like the hardest thing in the world. He focused on Emily's little voice inside his mind, the voice saying, 'you can do it' and did the thing he thought was impossible until then.
He opened his eyes.