can't believe that I asked Jessica our and crazy enough she said yes!
I'm driving us to nooks, we're both silent but not in a awkward way, more of conformable silence.
My heart is beating so fast. Internally I'm freaking out.
I turn on radio, just to break the silence.
We arrive at nooks and Jessica gets us a table.
As we sit down, I say "I know that you work here and while that may have some perks, I'd like to pay for my coffee, thank you very much"
"yes ma'am, I'll go and get the coffees that you're paying for " she laughs.
A woman who I think also works here, pulls Jessica aside and they're speaking.
It seems rude to be staring, so I scroll through pinterest while I wait for her.
She brings the coffees and what looks like different kinds of pastries.
" the coffees you're allowed to pay for but think of these as a gift" she smirks
"so how long have known, like your sexuality, how long did it take you to realize? "
I take a bite of this cranberry croissant,which is so good.
"well, think when I was about 14 or 15, I thought I might be bisexual but then I dated like guys not for long but I was completely repulsed by them" she chuckles.
"don't get me wrong, two of my close friends are guys but they're the only ones that I can deal with"
"so after two failed relationships and barely being able to kiss them and having to lie about being happy with them, it started to make more sense why I was happier to be around this friend of mine then I was to be around my boyfriend or why I cried for months because what I felt for her was beyond friendship, beyond platonic love but it was real love, my first love I guess. I haven't told anyone anyone that before.
Jessica takes a sip of her mocha, sighs and smiles.
She asks "want to hear my coming out story?"
"hell yes" I say eagerly.
"well my dad caught me kissing my friend Lara and we had the talk, I was mortified" she laughs.
"I literally felt like I wanted to die in that moment but after we spoke and I honesty told him how I felt, he understood and he was and still is extremely supportive but my mother on the other hand was a nightmare, such a cliché"
Her mood changes. I feel bad for encouraging her to talk about this, it seems too personal.
" hey, I'm sorry, was it something you didn't want to speak about? "
She gulps." my mom and I have a very messed up relationship, that's putting it lightly"
She chuckles nervously.
"wait did I bring down the mood?"
I hold her hand. "no of course not, whenever you're read or want, you can tell me about it?"
"maybe on our next date?" she responds.
"only if I can get more pastries" I say playfully.
"that can be arranged"
She pulls me closer and kisses me right there, so gently yet passionately. It feels as if we've been kissing for hours and not seconds.
I look up.. Oh God.
Mel and Adrian just walked into nooks and she's looking right at us.
"the kiss was bad, wasn't it? I should've asked you first"
I feel like I'm going to cry.
"no it's not you, the kiss, this spontaneous date, was so amazing, Mel and your brother just walked in and my family doesn't know about...yiu know".
"Jessica.. I'm so... I feel terrible"
"it's not your fault, I'm sorry for doing this but I need to go... Do you need a ride home"
"I understand entirely and no don't worry about it, Adrian's here with my car so I'm good"
I practically sprint out of there.