In which Sara hides and Thorin seeks.
Thorin pulled the glowing metal from the forges heat and began to strike and shape it, sparks flying through the stifling air. He was working to craft a new hinge for one of the large barn doors that he had noticed was broken. After several more strikes he returned the metal to the heat and with his discarded shirt wiped the stinging sweat from his eyes, grateful for the faint breeze that blew around him cooling his bare skin. He dropped his shirt back onto the pile of tools and things to be repaired. By the state of Beorn's forge and the broken tools Thorin had gathered it was clear that it had been quite some time since he had used it. Leaning against the wall of Beorn's house was a cracked shovel and a pitchfork; on the ground sat several smaller hinges and an old broken chain that needed to be fixed. Beorn had also requested nails and horse shoes be made.
During the conversation at breakfast yesterday, Beorn had offered to provide the company with new packs and supplies though he would have to travel to the woodman's village in the south to get some of the items needed. Thorin had gathered all the money that remained among the company, which was admittedly not much, and offered it to Beorn to help pay for the supplies, but the giant man had waived him off. The dwarves however, had not wanted to accept charity, and so after much discussion and with Balin's tact, an arrangement had been agreed upon. The company would each labor as they could to repay Beorn, tending the animals, repairing fences and buildings, working in the gardens, and other such tasks as they knew how to perform, but Borin had insisted that only he tend the bees and no one had argued with him over it. Bifur and Bofur had agreed to carve several new dishes to replace some of the ones that Beorn had worn out over the years along with new ones for the company. Dori and Bilbo had volunteered to repair and make a few articles of clothing for their host and Beorn had gifted them a bolt of sturdy cloth to make clothes for the others, though some clothing would still have to be bought. Thorin was commissioned to repair broken tools and anything else that needed a blacksmith's skill. Beorn had admitted that he was capable of the metal work, but was loath to do it, so the arrival of a more skilled blacksmith was more than welcome.
Thorin pulled the iron from the fire once again and began to pound it flat with quick sure strikes and several minutes later as he was shaping the pin for the new hinge a hand fell on his shoulder temporarily halting him mid-swing. He turned to see Dwalin behind him. Taking time to finish the last few strokes he then plunged the pin into a bucket of water at his feet and set his hammer aside.
"Didn't mean to interrupt yer work," said Dwalin. "I just wanted ya to know that I brought ya more wood. I know how lost in thought ya can get when ya work."
"Your arrival and the brake are not unwelcome," he said grabbing up his shirt and waterskin before going to sit on a log in the shade offered by the house behind them.
"How go the repairs?" asked Dwalin taking a seat beside him.
"Well enough, though it seems our host did not lie when he said the forge was neglected. It took me almost half a day yesterday to put it to rights before I began," said Thorin, wiping his neck and face.
"When will ya be finished?" asked Dwalin, flicking wood chips from his pants. Thorin took a long slow drink before speaking.
"Two, maybe three days." He leaned his head back against the wall behind him, rolling his shoulders and flexing his hand as the tissue of the newly healed wound gave a twinge sending painful sparks shooting down his left arm.
"Give ya trouble does it?" asked Dwalin, noting his reaction.
Thorin nodded. "Oin says I'm fortunate to be able to use it as well as I do, and that the pains are not unexpected and may perhaps fade with time."
"What of yer strength, ya seem to have recovered that at least."
"That's true enough. I think Sara must have been right about the anemia. She has been pushing green food at me every chance she gets." Thorin gave an involuntary shudder. "The cooked spinach is enough to turn a goat's stomach."
"Only if the old goat is you," laughed Dwalin. Thorin took another drink not deign to reply. "Have ya made any headway with Sara?" asked the warrior, his tone growing serious.
"I would like to think I am," he said. "Though I can't be sure. Every time I get her on her own that dog is inevitably a problem, and I cannot very well single her out at night crowded inside as we are, so I've had little chance to talk to her alone."
"I suppose that's true enough," replied the warrior. "But ya have made up yer mind for certain then?"
"Yes," said Thorin sitting up straighter. "I have. I know not what will come of it, but for better or for worse I have decided to pursue her if she will welcome it."
"She will," assured Dwalin. "She becomes more comfortable with you by the day. Yer both making the others sick with all those sappy soppy looks you pass back and forth when you think no one's looking.
"I do not," scowled Thorin, folding his arms over his chest.
"Aye ya do," insisted Dwalin. "I haven't seen the like on yer face since we were lads and ya fancied Dalgil's daughter."
"Ah, Gloniel." Thorin frowned. "She would have made a poor match."
"Oh, aye certainly!" agreed Dwalin. "But that didn't stop ya from being a moon faced moron at the time. Quite the fool ya were."
"And what of you and Adola, I seem to recall a fair bit of tomfoolery for her benefit as well."
"I suppose yer right," admitted Dwalin. "A couple of young fools, now a couple of old fools."
"Do you think that will matter to her?" asked Thorin, his face growing serious.
"What matter?"
"I am much older than her, by a century-and-a-half," clarified Thorin. Dwalin thought for a moment.
"It has not seemed to bother her thus far. She knows our rough ages. Fili and Kili are both three times her age and yet she still sees them as brothers. There is only one way to be certain though and that's to ask her, but I doubt it greatly."
"She's 24 and I'm 195. Given the average lifespan of dwarves and humans we would not long outlive the other."
"And should things work out she is still young for a human and capable of bearing children."
There was a swooping sensation in Thorin's stomach and heat spread through his chest as he mulled this over. He wondered if such a thing were even possible. He knew couplings between elves and humans had proven successful, Elrond being a prime example. But for dwarves there was no example of any but a dwarf and dwarf that had met with success. None that he knew of at any rate, but that did not make it impossible. Thorin had long since resigned himself to never rear children of his own, and though he had mourned for his sister's loss, he had counted himself blessed to be able to help raise Fili and Kili. Many male dwarves were not even afforded that much. Dwalin's words however, began to rekindle in him a long abandoned hope. The image of Sara's belly swollen with his child woke old and new desires. But would she take him? Were they truly suited to each other? He liked to think so, but in truth that remained to be seen.
Nori trudged by carrying a basket of vegetables and fruits and something caught Thorin's eye. He rose and went to him, soon returning with a large handful of blackberries and a stalk of rhubarb which he handed to Dwalin who took it with a nod.
"I still can't fathom why you eat such things," said Thorin before popping a blackberry into his mouth, savoring the sweet juice running over his tongue.
"Good," said Dwalin biting into the stalk with a crunch. "More for me." They ate in silence for several minutes. "It's a right shame ya didn't win that contest," sighed Dwalin. "Ya could have asked her to make a batch of those cookies of hers. I've had a craving for them ever since we left the Shire."
"That would have been a waste," said Thorin wiping his stained fingers on his trousers. "She likes to make them and probably would if you asked her. She says it calms and reminds her of home."
"How would you know that? You never talked to her back at Bag End."
"I caught her making them at 3 a.m. the night after she got drunk," he replied with a faint smile. "Unfortunately Estel made off like a thief, with his pockets stuffed full of cookies, and Sara and I ate the others."
"Pitty," said Dwalin. "Still I reckon you had other plans if ya had bested her."
Thorin did not answer but got to his feet and added some logs to the fire stirring the coals. He pulled the pin from the water and fitted it into the hinge, pleased when it slid easily but snugly into place. He then took the cracked shovel from the wall and detaching the handle slid the head into the forge. Dwalin was on his feet again.
"You're going to have to set aside some time to talk to her," he said.
"I will try, but she's harder to pin down then a battle ram on the warpath these past few days. She is constantly being dragged off by one of the others and has seemed distracted and distant."
"Sounds like she needs a good distraction," smirked Dwalin. "Take her mind off whatever's bothering her. Surely you can manage that."
"I would like nothing more if given half the chance."
"So make your chance," urged Dwlain before disappearing around the corner.
Thorin's mind drifted as his hands returned to work. Sara had been strange as of late, her moods swinging between joy and restlessness and sometimes he thought he spotted worry marring her face. He had noticed this behavior as they had left Rivendell and ascended into the mountains. Dwalin's poorly disguised ploy to bring her out of herself with a snow battle had worked for some time but she had slipped back into a familiar pattern upon reaching Beorn's. This confused him, he would have thought she would improve in their current surroundings, not take a turn for the worse. Fili had noticed her changing mood as well, but when he asked her about it Sara had reassured him. Thorin suspected that she did not mean it when she said "I'm fine." or "It's nothing." for though there was often a smile on her face, her eyes didn't crinkle at the edges and her nose did not wrinkle as they did the times he had truly seen her happy.
He froze mid-swing. When had he noticed that about Sara? To his chagrin he found he didn't know, but he suspected it was well before their encounter in Elrond's kitchens. He plunged the cooling metal into the water and it hissed satisfactorily. He wondered if perhaps he was the reason for Sara's odd moods. He had made a conscious effort, albeit an easy and enjoyable one, to touch her whenever possible, to do little things to draw her attention to him. The dog however, had often thwarted this, growling whenever they were close, coming between them as often as possible. While Thorin enjoyed the smiles the dog's behavior elicited from Sara, he still found it highly annoying to be blocked in his attempts to get closer to her. Perhaps Dwalin was right, if he wanted time with her he would need to create an opportunity rather than wait for it.
Sara lay sprawled on her stomach in the dirt behind some ivy-covered bushes, her phone in hand. She was attempting to hide once again. The past day and a half had been exhausting. Every time she found a moment to read The Hobbit, she was inevitably found by one of the company, distracted, or otherwise prevented from the task at hand. The morning after the regretted pepper challenge Beorn had asked Gandalf and Thorin how they intended to travel to Erebor. When Thorin has suggested the Old Forest Road Beorn had quickly quashed the idea. According to the woodsman to the South, the road had fallen into disrepair, some of it being swallowed by boggy marshes. Not only that, but the road had been overrun by foul creatures, not the worst of which were Orcs. Gandalf had then proposed to take the Elvin Road but while Beorn had not immediately advised against it, he had urged great caution. After yesterday's reading Sara could well understand why. Spiders. It seemed that the spiders Radagast had spoken of in the South had come farther North; so far North that they had become a regular problem for the wood elves. And that was the other problem with the Elvin Road, the elves at the end of the path. The idea of spending weeks in an elvish dungeon did not sound at all pleasant, not to mention starvation, enchanted rivers, and giant flesh-eating spiders.
At first Sara had been ready to go find Gandalf and insist they take a different route, but she had caught herself. She had to finish the book before giving any advice or making any decisions. She could have really messed up the timeline of the ring and that was one time line but must happen in a very specific manner. But try as she might, she could not seem to get much reading done before something happened. Several times today she had been dragged off by Bilbo and Dori to have her measurements taken for two new pairs of pants, although this was actually welcomed. She was eager to wear pants that didn't show her ankles or slip off her hips. After one of these sessions she had soon been found by Bofur who had wanted to show her the comb that Bifur had carved for her and he had stayed to talk for a while. She had been taking the comb inside to tuck it into the small drawstring sack that Beorn had given her after catching her stashing things in her bra, but had just stopped on the porch to thank Bifur, when Fili had spotted her. Seeing her new comb he insisted that she let him braid her hair and she had let him. He was tying the ends when Kili had found them and after pouting that he didn't get to braid her hair had dragged them off to one of the barns.
Sara had enjoyed this interruption, for Kili had found a batch of kittens playing in the straw. They had spent more time than she should have playing with them, even dragging over Nori so she could show them how the cats chased the laser pointer. This had been an endless source of fun for the dwarves and the laughter soon drew the others to the barn. Fili and Dwalin sat in the straw each cuddling a purring kitten as the others chased the red dot across their legs. Sara had been trying to ease out of the barn door when she had backed into a bare-chested Thorin who had come to investigate the noise. He had smiled down at her and been about to speak when four kittens had run across his boots and climbed up his pant leg. Kili had been in charge of the laser pointer at that moment. Using his distraction to her advantage she had slipped away and now here she was hiding behind a cluster of bushes trying to read. The company had fought spiders, been imprisoned, and escaped the elves, and road in barrels to Lake Town when someone cleared their throat nearby. Sara sighed and sat up. He was back for the third time today.
"Hey Nori," she said brushing dirt from her shirt as he came into view around the foliage.
"What are you doing back here?" he asked. "Why are you hiding?"
"So I can read," she replied dryly. "Preferably uninterrupted. I can't very well tell people to leave me alone so I can read a secret book. Every time someone comes around I have to act like I'm not busy or they will ask what I'm busy with, and you dwarves can be very nosy when you want to be."
"How is your reading?" he asked. "Are you almost finished yet? How much longer? I detest all the secret keeping and I'm anxious to know if we succeed."
"That's rich coming from you," she said. "I was under the impression that you liked a juicy secret."
"Not one I truly have to keep a secret," he said shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Look," she said. "I could read a lot faster if you would quit asking. If you really want to help me, run interference for me."
"What do you want me to interfere in?"
"Keep the others away. Don't let them find me. Help me get some solid hours of reading where I'm not being distracted. Given a day I think I can finish. I don't have many chapters left, but they are the end chapters so they are the most important."
"You say you can finish in a day?" he asked.
"If uninterrupted," she clarified. He thought for a moment, the fingers in his pockets filling with what she guessed were her keys. They both looked up as Bofur bolted past them, swearing colorfully as a large angry turkey chased after him. Seeing the size of the birds spurs, Sara could not say she blamed the dwarf, but what on earth had he done to anger it.
"Very well," said Nori, bringing her back from her curious musings. "I will run your interference and I will also see what can be done to give you your day." He disappeared leaving her to read. That is until a thankfully dressed Thorin had found her for dinner less than an hour later.
"How did you find me?" she asked disgruntled as she climbed the steps to the porch.
"Nori told me where I should find you," he said, pulling open the door. "But even if he hadn't, it would have been only too easy to locate you. The back end of a dog sticking out from under the bush was enough to give away your position." Tom pushed between them and into the hall where the others sat around the table, already eating.
"That makes sense," she huffed, scowling at the retreating dog.
"Is there perhaps a reason you were hiding?" asked Thorin, pulling the door shut before she could enter. "Were you hiding from anyone in particular? Me perhaps?" There was a scratching at the door.
"Yes and no," she answered, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her over large pants.
Thorin's eyebrows raised and he leaned closer. "Yes and no?"
"I'm not really hiding from you per say, or anyone in specific, more like hiding from … everybody."
"Everybody, why?"
"Well I don't know if you've noticed but in a group of 16 where I'm constantly surrounded by protective dwarves, time to myself is a bit hard to come by. I had a few moments of free time in Rivendell, but other than that I seem to have perpetual company."
"You require time alone?" he asked straightening. The scratching at the door intensified.
"Well yeah," she said, pulling the braid behind her left ear. "Every once in a while time to myself is a good thing. It helps me unwind and sort through my thoughts." Her voice grew quiet. "It lets me process things… cope with stuff." It wasn't a lie was it? No she truly did want time to herself. There was a lot to think about and not just the book, the quest, or the terrifying idea that someone wanted her taken captive. There was also this growing… attraction between them.
"You require a woman's day." His face brightened with understanding. "Dis would sometimes require such a day, especially when Fili and Kili we're still dwarflings."
"I'm sure she did, knowing those two," said Sara wryly. Thorin rubbed a hand over his jaw thinking and Sara's fingers twitched remembering the feel of his beard. She wished she could do it again. "How do you keep it so soft," she asked, the words tumbling from her mouth before she could stop them. Thorin's eyes snapped back to her.
"Keep what soft?" he asked.
She shook her head "No, no, it's nothing."
He let his arms drop into what Sara had long since come to think of it as his go to pose, arms folded across the chest.
"I repeat myself, I have a sister and have come to know when a woman says "It's nothing," a wise man never believes her blindly. Now keep what soft?"
She really needed to just keep her mouth shut, dwarves did not let anything slide past them without explanation. "Your beard," she admitted finally, gesturing to his face before tugging rather forcefully on her braid. Thorin rocked back on his heels.
"How would you know it is soft, and what would you compare it to?" he asked, his voice full of caution and surprise.
"It's not like I go around feeling people's beards or anything, well… not normally," she said. She shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Back at the eagles nest you were still kind of unconscious and I moved the hair out of your face and… well I rubbed your beard. It's really soft."
"I see," said Thorin. "So it's not just you who wanders on occasion, but your fingers as well," he teased, rubbing his beard with the back of his hand. "Still I would advise against such wondering again. It would send the wrong message."
"The wrong message?" she asked her brow furrowing.
"Yes," he said, reaching a finger to smooth the dimple between her eyebrows. "Do you recall when you asked me if hair braiding was indicative of a relationship?" he asked. She nodded, biting her lip. "Well while hair braiding is not, tending to another's facial hair most certainly is. It is something that is shared with only the closest of family, but most often lovers." He rather enjoyed the flush coloring her cheeks and ears.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, staring at her shoes. "I didn't know, but I shouldn't have done it. It was rude, even where I'm from it's not really something you just do. I'll keep my hands to myself from now on." Tom was whining from the other side of the door and unbeknownst to them there were footsteps coming up the walk. Thorin caught her hand and stepped toward her, pleased when she backed into the door with a soft thump. He leaned over her, pulling her captured hand up gently and pinning it to the door beside her head, and with his other hand brushed the stray hairs away from her face, letting his fingertips trace the curve of her ear.
"I would welcome your wandering fingers," he rumbled into her ear. She melted into the door and he moved closer, leaving just a hair's breadth of space between them. "Sara, I want your fingers in my beard." His lips brushed her ear causing her chest to expand and press against his as she inhaled sharply. He pulled back to examine her face. Her pupils were large and dark and he could almost feel the heat radiating from her cheeks. Her tongue peeked out between her lips wetting them and the once unwelcome feeling returned to coil pleasantly in his abdomen as he leaned toward her.
"I have several haylofts," said Beorn, climbing the steps behind them. "No need to block the door." They looked up just as the self same door was suddenly flung wide.
"Here now this poor dog…" began Bilbo, but was silenced abruptly as Thorin toppled on top of the startled hobbit and anxious dog. Beorn lunged forward and caught Sara's upper arm, swinging her in an arc before setting her on her feet, saving her from adding to the writhing pile of dog, dwarf, and hobbit limbs.
"Why must I always end up piled beneath dwarves,"complained Bilbo as he pushed Tom off his chest and he and Thorin struggled to stand.
"I have warned you against opening doors like pop guns before," chided Gandalf good-naturedly, appearing in the doorway.
"Little bunny may be flattened, but he is certainly fattening up on my food I see," said Beorn with a chuckle before he bent to prod the hobbits waistcoat which was beginning to fill out. Huffing irritably Bilbo pushed his hand away making the large man laugh all the more. "Well come and have some more and I will show you all what treasures I have brought for you." He gestured for them to go inside but Sara hung back as the others followed Beorn. She was savoring the cooling evening air on her face as she tried to regain her composure before finally turning to join the throng.
A shiver of pleasure rippled up Sara's spine as she stepped into the makeshift tub filled with steamy water in Beorn's hall. She was not quite sure how it had happened the previous night, but admittedly she had been having trouble thinking about anything other than the feel of Thorin's lips at her ear. Somehow Nori and Gandalf had convinced the others that it would be beneficial to take the better part of today off in order to visit the hot springs that Beorn had said we're about five miles to the East. To their surprise Thorin had agreed with the idea but suggested that Sara stay behind to rest, which she had gotten behind wholeheartedly. At first Fili, Kili and Dwalin opposed the idea of leaving her alone, but Beorn had assured them that he would remain behind and they had reluctantly given in. Sara knew the reason Nori and Gandalf had suggested the company bathe today had less to do with the desire for cleanliness and more to do with affording her the time she needed to finish The Hobbit. She also recognized Thorin's suggestion was his way of granting her as he called it, a woman's day.
However it had happened, Sara was glad for the bath, the time alone, and the chance to read uninterrupted. Several minutes after the large half barrel had been filled with hot water, she and Beorn had waved the company off. Beorn had left to tend to the beehives in the far fields, taking Tom with him, saying he would not be back for several hours. Sara luxuriated in the warm water, washing quickly, and then after tucking a towel under her arms, hung over the side reading. Bilbo had just entered the Lonely Mountain to see if Smaug was inside, and it was not until after Bard The Bowman of Laketown had killed the dragon that she realized the water she was soaking in had grown tepid. After dressing in the new trousers that Bilbo and Dori had finished for her this morning, she padded barefoot to the kitchen. Taking a bowl of blackberries and a thick slice of bread she walked back through the hall grabbing her new water skin. She paused at the door when she spotted Thorin's coat atop the stack of blankets, and grabbed it up with a grin before picking her way gingerly across the yard and into the one of the barns.
She climbed the ladder to the hayloft and after settling herself in the hay beside an open window she endeavored to finish the book. It shouldn't be too much longer now, for Smaug was dead and the company had achieved their goal to retake the mountain. As she read, more and more of the scenes for the mirror and the book were lining up. The company in chains must be when they had been captured by the elves, the town burning was most certainly Laketown, and the archer was Bard.
But much confused Sara. Why was Thorin being so unreasonable in the book and why was he still seeking the arkenstone after Smaug was dead? It seemed that Elrond's fears had not only been fully justified, but prophetic. Though it was the company's fault that the dragon had demolished Lake Town, Thorin was unwilling to help it's people who were sick, starving and homeless. Despite the fact that it was due to Bard that the dragon lay dead at the bottom of the lake, Thorin would not recognise his legitimate claim to part of the treasure. The gold that had been Dale's at the time of its sacking by Smaug had been carried into the mountain by the dragon and Bard who was the heir to that old city wanted it back so he could rebuild. Thorin refused to make a deal with the bowman, and would not speak at all to the elvin king, which after what she had read was admittedly fair. Sara had come to know that dwarves valued their treasure highly, but she had also come to know Thorin to be honest and fair, despite his other character flaws, so his behavior confused her.
Sara read as tension escalated and Bilbo gave the arkenstone to the men and elves, in an attempt to avoid conflict for all. Unfortunately this only seemed to push Thorin over the edge, for when he had found out he had tried to toss Bilbo over the parapet. Thorin had called for his cousin Dain from the Iron Hills and upon his arrival, battle had been about to commence, when a common enemy united the three races. The goblins from the Misty Mountains had come to avenge their fallen king and lay claim to the gold of the mountain. The half-eaten bowl of berries sat forgotten in the straw and Sara's thumb nail was chewed to a nub as she carefully read through the subsequent battle, desperately searching for but dreading the names of any in the company. She let out a breath of relief at the arrival of the eagles, assuming all to be well. Mere minutes later she was filled with dread, for Thorin had been injured in that battle. Her heart froze as shortly after making amends with Bilbo, Thorin died. Her blood was ice in her veins as she sat in shock . It had taken her quite a while to find the willpower to carry on, only to be sucker-punched pages later by the death of Fili and Kili.
Sara had never been the type to cry while reading books, but she had never been more familiar with characters then she was with these. They weren't characters, they were real; her friends, her brothers and Thorin. Her vision was blurred and her cheeks wet as she finished the book, trying not to think of the dwarf king. She had fought her feelings for Thorin from the outset, unwilling to get involved with anyone from Middle Earth, but she had been losing that particular battle for a long time. Upon finding out she would likely never leave Middle Earth, she had stopped fighting altogether, and to her surprise Thorin had begun to seek her company more and more. His actions since waking in the eagle's nest had been surprisingly transparent, and his words to her against the door yesterday had been all but a declaration of intent. She would be a fool not to know he had feelings for her. But what was she supposed to do with these feelings now?
When Sara had begun The Hobbit she had relegated the old fears from the mirror to the back of her mind in lieu of the tangible information she hoped to glean from reading. The possibility of family in Lake town had been exciting and terrifying. The more and more the visions and book matched up, the events she had feared most it seemed had already been set into type long ago. Thorin, Fili, and Kili would die, the visions and the book both confirmed it, and so far all the major events in the book had taken place in reality. Was she really only here to help the events play out so the fellowship could go forward in the future? Not for the first time Sara wished she knew how to interpret the visions of the mirror. Were the Valar really so cruel as to send her here to get attached, to find brothers and friends only to watch them die, to possibly be the reason why they died. The book had not said exactly how or why they died and it scared her that she might be the cause. Her nails dug into the mark on her hand trying to scratch it off until blood beaded on her skin. The Valar should never have dragged her into this mess. The bowl of blackberries smashed into the wall above the barn door, clattering to the packed dirt below. Sara had been about to throw Thorin's coat after it when his smell had wafted back to her and she fell to her knees clutching the comforting fur to her face and chest. No matter how she tried to block it out, the pain and anger were still there, eating away at her insides like battery acid.
There was a faint pop and squish under Thorin's boot as he entered the empty barn. The floor was strewn with blackberries and he bent to retrieve a wooden bowl. The dog Tom was sleeping at the bottom of the ladder leading to the hayloft and he looked up to see toes peeking out from under his coat sticking out over the edge of the hayloft. Careful not to step on any more berries he quietly crept toward the ladder, but as he stepped over the dog onto the second rung a rumble sounded beneath him. To his relief Sara's self-proclaimed guard dog remained asleep. He found her curled under his coat in the hay, and he smiled as he pulled it back from her face. He had left her behind in plain sight knowing and hoping she would use it. Dust motes drifted lazily in the sun beams slanting through the open window and onto her face. Damp strands of hair clung to her sweaty brow and the tops of her cheekbones were red with exposure to the sun. Her eyes were puffy. He frowned. Had she been crying? Being careful not to wake her, he scooped her up and moved her to the shade against the wall under the high window.
Sara woke to fingers trailing through her hair and she rolled over thinking perhaps it was Fili, but the hand that hovered above her didn't belong to the blonde dwarf.
"I did not mean to wake you. There is straw in your hair," said Thorin pulling his hand away. She sat up facing him, rubbing the heel of her hand into her eye. He caught her wrist.
"What happened?" he asked, looking at her blood smeared hand.
"Nothing," she said trying to pull away. "I scratched it on something." But she knew he could see the blood under the nails of her other hand. For once he didn't ask more but simply began to unwrap her arm. As the last of the cloth fell away, newly-formed skin peaked out at them. Over the past few days the combination of Beorn's and Oin's ointments had sped the healing process, and where there had once been raw flesh and the stabbing pain, there were now scabs. The pain still lingered but it was mingled with an intense itching as the skin healed.
"It looks better today," he said wrapping it. "We will get Oin to see to your hand when he returns with the others." He brushed a stray hair behind her ear. The fear and sorrow that had been forgotten in sleep seeped back in.
"Aren't the others back?" she asked quietly, thinking of Fili and Kili.
"I returned before the others," he admitted. "I know you wanted to have some time, but the further away we got the more uneasy I felt, so after washing I came back. The others are enjoying and taking their time. I found Tom sleeping at the bottom of the ladder and knew you must be here." She reached for him wrapping her arms around his chest. After a few heartbeats his arms closed around her pulling her into his lap.
"Sara? Is something wrong?" She shook her head into a shoulder, finding equal parts comfort and despair in his arms.
"I just… I missed you. All of you."
"Are all women like this?" he asked chuckling. She shrugged not trusting her voice. "Dis would do the same, leave the boys with me but then return shortly, insisting she missed them far too much to go away." They sat this way in silence for a while, his fingers playing in her hair, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Sara?" he asked, as he teased free and knot from her hair.
"Hmm?" She still did not trust her voice.
"I wish to braid your hair, may I?" After a few agonizing seconds she nodded and Thorin shifted his hold on her so she faced away from him. He untied the pouch from his belt, pulled a wooden comb from inside, and handed her the bag. She knew this was not the same as when Fili and Kili braided her hair, and though she had agreed, her shoulders were still tight and tense. He could not help but notice this and after a few pulls of the comb his hands fell to her shoulders.
"Relax." He squeezed gently, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into her back. "You need to be a little loosey-goosey," he teased, tweaking her earlobe softly. After several seconds he began to hum a soft slow tune that sounded like a lullaby, the music seeming to chase away her fear and sorrow as she felt a calm wash over her. She wondered not for the first time if Thorin's voice was really a spell. He continued to rub her shoulders, humming, and soon she had relaxed and he returned to her hair, his fingers gentle but sure. He worked carefully around the injury behind her right ear. The patch was healing but bare and she wondered if it would ever grow back, she guessed not.
"I need a leather tie," he said after a while. "You will find some in the pouch." She pulled free a loose knot and dumped the contents into the straw. He tried off her hair and began the braid for Fili's bead. She set aside the other ties and put all but two things back in the pouch, the metal tin and a thin piece of wood that reminded her of a pringles chip.
"What's this?" she asked, running a finger over the light grooves in the wood.
"Something to occupy idle fingers," he said, reaching around her for a tie. "Where is your bead?"
"It's in the house," she said, tucking the wood piece inside the pouch. She shook the tin and heard a rattling. "What do you keep in here? It looks kinda like an Altoids tin."
"Altoids?" he asked, beginning the final braid behind her right ear.
"Sweet mints that come in metal tins like this on Earth," she said opening it. She froze in disbelief. There beside several beads lay a dented, squashed, but familiar shape. "You still have this?" She held the chocolate kiss between thumb and forefinger so he could see it over her shoulder. "Why did you save it?" He was quiet and still for a moment.
"It never seemed the right time to eat it," he admitted.
"It's chocolate. There's never not a right time for chocolate," she insisted. The light glinted off the silver wrapper. "It's the name isn't it. That's why you haven't eaten it."
"Perhaps," he sighed, his hands dropping from her finished hair. "It never seemed appropriate." She couldn't hide her soft snort from him.
"I don't know how you did it. A chocolate kiss would not have lasted long if I had it."
"You may have it," he said resting his chin on her shoulder. "You will clearly enjoy it more than I would."
"How would you know that," she said, turning to sit facing him. "You have never tried one before."
"We have chocolate in Middle-earth Sara," he said rubbing her arm with the back of his fingers. "I've had chocolate before, and I will again."
"But this is chocolate from another world," she wheedled. "There is no other chocolate like this and all of Middle Earth."
"You wish me to eat it?" he asked, taking it from her.
She nodded. "That's why I had Bofur hand out the rest of the bag, to share." He sighed.
"Very well." He returned it to her. "But with one stipulation. Since you enjoy these chocolate kisses so much you must share it with me. Kisses are meant to be shared are they not?"
"I don't know if that really applies to chocolate ones," she said skeptically.
"Ether share it with me, eat it yourself, or return it to the tin."
"But if I put it back in the tin you'll never eat it," she accused.
"Probably true," he admitted.
She thought for a moment. "Oh, alright," she said. "But you're cheating yourself out of half an already small piece of chocolate." She unwrapped the kiss and bit the very tip off and held the rest out to him hopefully. He raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes a bit off half the chocolate. Appeased, he took the other half from her. The kiss must have melted and cooled several times if the texture was anything to go by, for the chocolate was peppered with little ball-like formations.
"This chocolate is very…"
"Terrible," she said, swallowing and reaching for her water-skin.
"I was going to say sweet," he said, taking a drink after her. "It was much sweeter than I am accustomed to."
"To sweet?" she asked. "Do you prefer dark chocolate?"
"No I like the extra sugar," he said capping the water. "It was the texture."
Sara wilted. "I know. That's not the way it's supposed to be. Sorry."
"For what? Had I eaten it when you gave it to me it would have been better."
"But I wanted it to be nice for you." They were quiet for a moment.
"If you feel the need," he said, taking her hand. "I know how you might make amends."
"Oh yeah? How?"
"Share another kiss with me," he said, his voice mellowing.
"I don't have anymore that was the…" He squeezed her hand stopping her.
"Not a chocolate kiss Sara," he said, his blue eyes locking with hers. "Share a kiss with me."
Sara's heart skipped a beat and heat bloomed in her chest crawling up her neck and down her arms. Grabbing her waist he pulled her closer so she was in his lap once again, her legs draped over his and her side pressed to his chest. His hand found her cheek and her pulse quickened, pumping faster, harder.
"I want to kiss you Sara," he said, his breath warming her lips. "I have for some time now." His fingers pulled at her hip just under the hem of her shirt and his thumb caressed the side of her cheek as he guided her face closer. His eyes searched her face, watching, waiting for her to pull away. She was torn. She wanted this kiss, wanted it badly, but what of the future?
"Sara," he breathed, their noses touching as his lips brushed hers with the request. His hand slipped around to the back of her neck cradling it. "Kiss me, please?" The longing in his voice ate away at the last thread keeping her from him and she closed the distance, fisting her hand into his shirt pulling him forward. The kiss was soft as he wrapped his arm further around her waist pulling her tight against his chest. The pulse that had been racing in her veins moments before was now thunder in her ears as she turned reaching for him, changing her grip on his shirt for his dark hair. She pressed her lips to his more firmly and let her tongue slide across his. He opened his mouth meeting her and caught her bottom lip with a hum before releasing her and slipping his own tongue inside her mouth. His hand on her neck pulled, gently tipping her head for a better angle. The hand in his hair slipped to his face and her thumb rubbed over his jaw making him groan and break the kiss to pull her across his lap into the straw beside him. He lay on his side, one hand on the small of her back and the other still at her neck pulling her heaving chest against his as his lips met with hers more urgently than before. She returned his kisses with equal fervor, every inch of her body seeming to throb in time with her pounding heart. They broke apart and he buried his head into her shoulder.
"Thank the Valar for sending you," he muttered between the kisses he pressed to her neck and ear. It was as if he drove a knife of ice into her gut and twisted sharply. Everything ground to a halt in her mind and she stiffened. Thank the Valar? For what? For sending her here just to watch him die?
"Sara what's wrong?" he asked, pulling away to look at her. With his thumb he wiped a tear from her cheek she had not known was there. "Do my kisses displease you? I admit it's been many years but…"
"It's not that," she said letting go of him and rolling to face away from him.
"Have I misread your feelings for me? Gone too far?" he asked, resting a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head. "Then tell me. What troubles you?" he asked scooting closer behind her, rolling her gently toward him so her head rested on his forearm. "Tell me, for I would see you smile."
"I'm afraid," she said burying her head into his shoulder.
"What do you fear?" he asked. " I would battle Durin's Bane itself to see you reassured."
"No!" she said sharply, looking up at him. "Promise never to do something so foolish. Promise me!"
"Alright Sara. But tell me, what are you afraid of?"
"Us," she whispered.
"Us? Why?" She pushed away from him sitting up.
"It won't end well Thorin. It will end in heartbreak."
"But why should it?" he asked. "The Valar will not take you away. You belong to Middle Earth, you belong here. I want you to belong with me." She shook her head.
"But why?" he insisted.
"It just won't work. I don't want to be left alone. Not... not again." She got to her feet, her voice breaking. "I've done that once already and I didn't even know the people who left me. But I won't keep doing this just to have you leave me too."
"I won't leave you," he promised getting to his feet, reaching for her, but she pulled away moving toward the ladder.
"Yes you will, you won't be able to help it," she cried, her feet on the first rung of the ladder.
"What do you mean I won't be able to help it?" he said moving to catch her but she was already on the ground. "I won't leave you," he insisted scrambling down the ladder. "Sara come back!" But she was already gone, Tom trailing after her.