My oh my how broken cycles can cause figments to enter one's dream. A place where they escape to seek leisure elsewhere than this pathetic life. Where one's eyes stop shouting pictures at our mind, where our brain liquid gets replaced and renewed.
Yet what walks through my fantasies and escapism, is the woman of my nightmares. The woman that stands in between the gate of heaven and earth refusing to let me enter the new-found paradise of mine. She still shows up whenever I decide to wander off into my wildest dreams. She still manages to find her place as the maleficent in the tale of sleeping beauty.
The dark shadow which replaces my every idea and thought with darkness, with complete hollowness, and emptiness. A nightmare she has become, and one I cannot awaken from.
I can't do one more night screaming at the top of my lungs, begging for mercy by an invisible God, which couldn't give less of a fuck about a piece of shit like me. Dear God, if you exist why have you condemned me?
Bella's eyes seem greyer for every passing day, her face seems hollow and she barely speaks or eats anything that is served. It is still a miracle to both of us how we managed to get this room.
Throwback to the meeting of Mr. Gwenesphere
As the nice lady who remains behind the name of Mrs. Gwenesphere with the bags and eyes full of mysteries and adventures dropped us off. We had to run as our life depended on it toward the loading dock. If I hadn't taken Bella's hand and ran like there was a hellfire chasing us we wouldn't have gotten the chance to walk on the entering gate.
As we jumped over the edge and into the gate while it was closing off and bidding its goodbye heading toward Poland We ended up face down, chin up, our eyes landing on some dark and muddy worker shoes. The Poles. Now we have to explain to these men who barely speak Italian, let alone English to let us see the manger of this ship.
One of them did not care and was about to grab us by the collar and throw us out of off the ship as if we were the food wrappers from his food that littered the boat and should be thrown out. Bella fainted once one Pole laid his hand on her upper chest causing her to fall on top of this man.
The tall, bald 6'5 man felt suddenly a sense of remorse and decided to take this girl in and not let her freeze and get hyperthermia under this rainy sky and even greyer night.
I am stills shocked by how life is working in our favor? It seems as so it can have its ups and downs, but these men were about to beat us up and throw us off of the cruise, not caring if we were humans! They were treating us like we were nothing!
I would assume they were scared of getting caught because if they got caught they would lose their job. I don't blame them for worrying but to pull me by the collar and leaning half my body on the cruise rail as if I wasn't a person and only a piece of meat that can be thrown out gave me a deeper perspective on how this life and society truly is. Quite fucked up.
What a world, what a place, what a situation to which we have ended up in. Just a week from today I was getting pounded by some old lady with lustful urges I had to deal with. Supposedly as a part of some sick test set-up, to observe my ability to live through this wondrous life we live through.
Back to the present
It mind boggles me how I was able to squeeze myself into this small parallelogram fitted bathroom where I could do number two, shower, and flood the bathroom all at once!
Due to the small so-called drain which also looks like a hole in the wall for mice to walk through! Not to mention the showerhead, which was as long as my pinky and dripped little to no water! Accompanied by the smelly body, hair, and face wash which supposedly smelt like Jasmine, but to me, however, it smelled like actual horseshit. I would know I used to rake it every morning.
Knock, knock
My darling is behind the door. I quickly pulled the white, rough, and probably unwashed towel off of the sink that had absolutely no space! Therefore everything had to be in the sinkhole which had a horrible pee-color pigment stained around the small bowl and I was quite sure I saw some mold growing out of the drain.
I wrapped the quite uncomfortable and itchy towel around my waist and stepped out to find myself almost slipping. I had to grab hold of Bella who was half-asleep, having to wake up to a slipping Frank grabbing hold of her lower arms leaning all his weight on her causing her to slip and almost fall as well. Thanks for that, gravity.
"Good morning, Bells"
"Top of the morning to you", she replied while giggly groggily.
"How far are we from Poland?"
"I couldn't tell you if I even tried-she looked at my weird seven shaped position- Do you mind?", she eyed my weirdly leaning on one leg while the other is on the floor situation.
I brought my left leg in to stand up. I walked over to my side of the miniature-sized, cold, and quite moldy 9m^2 cruise suit which smelt like a person had died in her and rotted and buried.
It's better than nothing, we could have ended up being sold off as organs in the black market if it wasn't for this godsend, this angel of mercy, and care. I don't know how I will ever get to thank this lady for doing this for us. She didn't know us, yet she cared! I have never been accompanied by such a feeling before, it was an odd concept to comprehend while starring at the cockroach running from left to right in the small bedroom.
I decided to wear the same smelly clothes I have been wearing these past days and head out to locate where the hell we are. Man, I wish there were like some television screen or something that showed us where we are, but it's the year 1969 and to be frank, I haven't seen a tv I have only heard Mrs.Robinson speak of them and dream to own one. She told me that the small box with two sticks pointing out of its head showed us live people! Moving pictures! I can't imagine how that would even be like, I hope to see one, one day!
I opened the large almost too small for a person taller than 6-foot, door to be met by a short hallway which led me to a staircase up to the lobby. The staircase was narrow and had the smallest steps, I cant imagine tripping on that red and wannabe fancy carpeted case.
I took short steps to be shocked with the reality that there are 30 or so steps that felt never-ending with a rumbling tummy and a pounding head with a hammer hammering into the left side and knives being thrust into my abdomen.
After a never-ending battle between the hammer and the knife, I finally declared peace and reached the top floor.
My eyes laid on a small beige-colored wall with too many paintings to supposedly "decorate" this horrible cruise. The paintings were dusty and seemed like something found in the trashbin of a flea market.
Walking ahead I meet a rounded sitting area with a large plant in the middle of the rounded couch with a vending machine behind with probably stale food that has never been touched and a door with a drawing of a man and a woman which seemed like the bathroom.
The handle seemed dirty and I do wonder how many dirty hands have laid their disgusting fingers on it.
As I walked beside that area I reached a small square table with a smiling man behind trying his best not to lose his cool, which was visible.
As I finally reached the grey marble table with flyers and a large plant occupying most of the small rectangular shape, I can finally ask where the hell we are!
"Hello, I was wondering how far we are from Poland?"
"If there are no turbulences or an emergency stop due to "Heather"-"
"Who?"
"Haven't you hear?" He asked me while keeping his laugh inside the pit of his stomach.
I looked at him raising my eyes wondering who this man is talking about.
"There is a storm hitting Europe the Americans have called "Heather" since it supposedly traveled from their end of the land to our poor land"
"I see"
"About a day, however, it does seem so we have to make an emergency stop"
"I see", suddenly the speakers of the boat turned on with the following of sparking which could have given me tinnitus if I hadn't covered my ears in response to the horrible and clearing old and dusty speakers.
"Attention all passengers, we will have to make an emergency stop due to the storm also known as "Heather" in France"...