I want to fine something, because i don't have much and maybe i need more. I live alone but i'm still young and i have no one to contact when i get so lonely that everything blacks out. I don't know what happens when i'm out, all i know is i wake up and i'm perfectly fine and safe. My mom and dad left when i was done with high school and i have no idea where they are and i can't find it in myself to care. It's their lives right and maybe i was ruining it for them so they wanted to do their own thing without me. Without them i couldn't go to college but i visit there just to fit in sometimes. And i like to take a look at what i could've had. I get why my parents left but they knew i had nothing other than them.
It's fine though living alone has it's perks, and i can do whatever i want and no one can say anything about it because no one is here. Then again i have to do everything for myself, at least I've learned self care. I have two full time jobs and sometimes there just not enough but where would i go, i don't have much of a resume. I knew i had to do something because i was low on resources. The only problem was that i don't know what it is i have to do, i'm not good at much or basically anything. I would probably have to do something illegal but what. I was never taught the rights and wrongs as my parents never payed much attention to me in the first place.
I had to think so i took my very off budget broken car and went to the place i know the best. Once i arrived i could spell the energy it served and how strong it could be. I saw students coming out and some going in, i was always mesmerized by the times people would com here. I bet i could do it, come here when i had the time and then build up to be a good person. It wasn't always easy though, i got my ideas in places i wasn't comfortable and i come here to get rid of thoughts i know are not right. My mind is weird and it makes up weird situations when i'm alone, like how it would feel to stab someone or how much blood wou- i'm sorry. See i can't think of these things and i won't let myself... it's not right. As i said i wasn't lectured much about rights and wrongs but i know this is not supposed to happen, i just know.
That was until i met this guy, he came up to me one day when i was watching the college from my car. He asked if i went here or if i just liked to stalk people, i didn't like him... at first. He was tall, as tall as me and i was lengthy he was also very nice, it was odd to me. We soon became friends and since i was there all the time he assumed so, so i accepted it. I never knew what it was like to have a friend is this what it feels like, it's nice.
One day he found out i was struggling and i didn't mean for him to fine out but like the sweet caring person he was, wanted to help me. We became close after he gave me some money he knew i needed. I didn't take it at first but i knew like him that i couldn't let him keep it. He had this look in his eyes and it was telling me that he wasn't gonna use the money for better things. I felt like i knew so much about him but also not enough. He was the perfect son, the best est friends you'll ever get yet he was so mysterious not okay.
It was all put together when he jumped into my car with a unrecognizable dufflebag that looked to full to be for after school sports. He didn't say anything as he was out of breathe from running the one word he said will forever stick with me "drive". And so i did and i didn't stop until i was back at my house. Then i realized this is gonna be the first time he'll ever be at my house. I was excited like a little kid for a possible sleepover of some sort but then i remember what just happened and why he did that. I've never seen him like that ever and by this point I've known him exactly 5 months 21 days 3650 hours and 21 minutes.
We got out of the car when we came around to my house and he immediately grabbed the bag in a hurry looking around the open street in front of my building. He rushed inside with me behind without even hesitating or asking, he just barges right in. I think to myself as i'm watching him pace around the room with his hands in his, i don't like this side of him. He walks over to the bag once more when he's done contemplating and he opens it for me to see. It was full of cash money and right then it comes to me. There's a bank in the school for students to cash in their scholarships easier and i guess he thought it would be a good idea to help me out even more. This was my fault i made him feel bad for me and made him struggle with his own money to help me. And if he hadn't lost all of his own money he wouldn't have had to do this. He robbed a bank for me, the bank that he went to the school of his dream at. Well whats done is done so i looked over at him "we have to leave".
We did, we took everything needed and left with the money it was a lot, more than I've ever seen in my life. Maybe this was a new change in my life that i knew i needed but didn't have to courage to do it. He taught me that these thoughts i have are not wrong there just a part of me, so we continued together. We did more and we found that doing this kind of stuff is good for the both of us. But we needed more, we need more resources and "people".