Chereads / sTaNdZ (JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure) / Chapter 3 - OI, JOSUKE!

Chapter 3 - OI, JOSUKE!

"I win!"

Koichi does a fist pump as victory music plays from his tablet. Jotaro rolls his eyes and flips through his textbook on cetaceans, taking notes in the notebook next to him. Kira looks at Jotaro's textbook, and starts sketching a picture of a cetacean, although he has to get a new sketchbook, because his other one is filled with drawings of hands. Josuke is just watching anime. He's muttering under his breath, making fun of every character that shows up on-screen. In the background, Crazy Diamond is angry.

"DORA RARARA RARARARA! DORARA!"

Echoes rolls its eyes and turns away from Crazy Diamond, ignores it, and just reads a novel. It smiles. It's a good book, it thinks. Star Platinum is in the corner, playing some game on its phone. I don't know these idiots, it seems to be saying. Killer Queen surveys the whole group of Stands with its cat-like eyes, and its expression seems to be saying why am I even here. It shakes its head and spaces out. Josuke's phone rings.

"OI, JOSUKE!"

Josuke rolls his eyes. He likes hanging out with Okuyasu, but sometimes, that moron's just annoying. He sighs.

"Yes, Okuyasu?"

"I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF A LAKE!"

Josuke rolls his eyes again.

"And why are you at the bottom of a lake?"

"BECAUSE ZA HANDO TELEPORTED ME HERE!"

"How are you not dead?"

"IT KEEPS TELEPORTING AWAY THE WATER ON TOP OF ME. I HOPE NONE OF IT TELEPORTED ABOVE YOU. I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP YOUR HAIR."

Josuke growls softly.

"What did you just say?!"

"I SAID, I HOPE THAT ZA HANDO DIDN'T TELEPORT THE WATER ABOVE YOU. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR ABSOLUTELY AWESOME HAIR."

Josuke took a deep breath.

"Alright, I'll come get you."

He hangs up, gets up, and walks away, Crazy Diamond trailing after him. The other three men stare at each other.

"...what just happened?"

"Yare yare daze...that idiot."

"These are the kids who beat me?"

The three shake their heads and turn back to what they were doing. Fast-paced 8-bit music streams from Koichi's tablet. Jotaro pulls out his phone and puts his headphones on. Kira can't focus. He's checking his watch obsessively every moment or two. He counts under his breath.

"Two minutes...one minute fifty-eight...one minute fifty-six...one minute fifty-four..."

"Hey, what are you-"

It hits 10:45 AM, and Kira's out the door.

"-doing."

Jotaro takes off his headphones.

"What day of the week is it?"

"Saturday," Koichi replies, "why?"

Jotaro shrugs.

"I forgot."

"Oh...okay, then..."

Koichi fidgets with his stylus.

Echoes, could you c'mere?

Sure, it replies. It floats over and sits beside its user. What's up?

I'm anxious, Koichi answers. Echoes sighs.

About what?

Koichi shrugs. That's the thing. I don't know.

Echoes sits still for a minute, unable to come up with something that would help calm its user down. Koichi's hand twitches.

Well, I can't make your anxiety disappear, but I can help you *Stand* up to it! Echoes jokes. Koichi just stares at it, and then he facepalms.

What? You don't like my *Stand*-up comedy? I think it's good enough to *Echoes* over and over! Koichi facepalms again. Echoes shakes its head.

Yeah, I know, those were some really dumb puns.

"That's an understatement..." Koichi murmurs.

"What was that?" Jotaro asks.

"N-Nothing! Just talking to my Stand."

Woah, dude, calm down. Jotaro ain't the type to make fun of someone, Echoes whispers. C'mon, let's go check on the stairs. I have a feeling that they're *up* to something. Koichi facepalms again and gets back to his game.

11:00 AM sharp. Kira walks back in with a bag. He pulls out a styrofoam box, and in that box are eight fish sticks. He starts to eat them. Koichi's staring at him.

"What, you've never seen fish sticks before?"

Koichi shakes his head.

"You were counting...that precisely...to get fish sticks?"

Kira just rolls his eyes at him.

"Routine addict, remember?"

Koichi looks back down at his game. Josuke walks in, sopping wet, with twigs and leaves in his hair and on his clothes.

"That damn..."

He turns and sees the other three men still sitting there.

"Imma go fix my hair," he says before any of them can comment. Just as he's walking away, he gets another call.

"OI, JOSUKE!"

Josuke facepalms and shakes his head.

"Yes, Okuyasu?"

"I'M ON THE MOON!"

Josuke rolls his eyes.

"Be serious with me, what's going on?"

"I AM BEING SERIOUS! I'M ON THE MOON!"

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! I'M NOT VERY SMART, YOU KNOW!"

Josuke shakes his head.

"Yes, I know...I'll send Kureijī Daiyamondo to get you..."

He nods at his Stand, and it shoots off. About three seconds later, it comes back, carrying Okuyasu. He coughs.

"I have no idea how that happened."

Josuke just rolls his eyes. The other three stare at him. He turns to them.

"What?" He says defensively.

The three shake their heads.

"...yare yare daze..." Jotaro mutters.