"Come and get it
I do not fear
I do not hide."
- E. E. B.
EMA's point of view
There are some things I keep inside. Some so simple things I caged inside that mess I call head. And I ask myself, over and over, am I the only one feeling this tearing up inside every time my room is empty and I'm left with these screams? I try to pull myself out of this feeling, out of this damn cage I planted inside with my ability. But I'm weak. When I'm breaking, my hallucinations are too. I tried, I tried countless times to calm myself down with hallucinations, but all I get is his face.
That never to be forgotten face.
His old hands, his maniac eyes, his lost sanity.
But I keep it inside. I cage his cruel words.
Now again I see his disgusting face and lustful looks. I see blood soaked ropes and millions of cuts on my stomach. No, no, no... I have to forget. I have to leave it all behind. No, no, no
NO!
I woke up in tears, again. I haven't had this dream for so long, so why now? My phone was ringing but I ignored it, put my head in pillow and cried. There was nothing so sad as this feeling of being afraid.
"Ema! Wake up! You have twenty minutes to get ready for breakfast.", Luka yelled.
I got up quickly, took a shower and got ready. My face looked fresh and tear stains were not there anymore. It's okay, I repeated in my head.
"What is okay?" I heard Connor's voice in my head. Shit, I forgot about mind link.
"There is nothing to worry about! I'll see you today!" I answered. Actually, there was a lot to worry about, but I don't think he will understand.
I got out of my room just to face my brother in front of my door. He looked concerned, but he didn't say anything. We walked to dining room. In front of it Fran and Yuko stood far away from each other. They patiently waited for me to walk to them.
We went inside dining room and had breakfast together. While we ate I said: "Today is my last day in Italy. We are probably not even going to Gardaland again."
"And you tell us that just now?!" Fran said. She looked at me with a bit of anger. "Woman are you crazy? We need to make plans for the future then! We can't just all go our way and never meet again!"
"Calm down. We always have mind link.", Yuko said while slowly drinking his tea. Fran glared at him and added: "Anyway, what about others? Shouldn't we meet at least once before you go?"
I took fork out of my mouth. "Well, yes, I guess..."
"Can't you stay just one more day?", Malia asked trough link. "We still barely know each other and I can let you stay with me. Your brother and father can come too."
"Unfortunately, dad has work so we should really go home.", I answered. I want to stay longer and hang out more with people I met, but real life is calling. I know this is like a perfect story. I meet people I feel connected and safe with but we live on other sides of the world. We will meet from time to time. Talk trough link, but our own happy ending while we spend all time together? Impossible. That's one more reason not to get attached to Connor. He will never be here.
"Why don't you come here so we can properly say goodbye?" Fran asked everyone.
"Sure. Ema, when are you leaving?" Astra popped up.
"After breakfast since we have long ride ahead.", I told Astra. Fran gave me disapproving look. "That's way too soon!" she said.
I couldn't really say anything to that. She was right, but I don't make the rules. "We can get an hour at the most.", I said.
"Connor will take Malia, Zack and me to you.", Astra said quickly. Maybe I really should have told them this yesterday.
Dad and Luka finished their food and called me to go pack my stuff with them. I just told them that Fran and I already have some plans. As soon as they left, so did Yuko, Fran and I. We went to main hall and waited for fest of the team to appear. In next five minutes Connor, Astra, Zack and Malia came. Astra looked like a mess. He had dark circles under his eyes and his long hair was messy.
"Astra, dear, are you okay?" Yuko asked. Astra got really red and glanced at his boyfriend.
"I would be better if this beast let me sleep last night." Zack, instead of looking sorry, seemed pleased with his work, he even smirked when Astra glanced at him one more time.
Everyone seemed well. Only problem was that my eyes kept landing on boy in black in front of me. Our eyes met few times, but I turned my head the other way. Astra suggested that we go to garden since hall was getting busier and busier with people.
We walked to garden slowly. I could say that situation between was pretty awkward. Astra was still pretty red and the rest of us had nothing to say.
"So how did you find out about powers?" Astra asked all of us once we arrived.
Malia was first one to speak:" I guess it's not normal to wake up flying above bed." We all laughed a bit. To be honest, I didn't know she can fly.
"I noticed very slowly. Garden was always very calming to me, but I didn't know I can grow plants until they started to move with my arms as I read.", Yuko said.
"I didn't notice until I almost died from not being in water for long time. At that time I knew I was getting sick, but I never knew why until my lungs stopped working. Father found me and gave me a glass of water. Since that helped I drank more. It felt better when I bathed and then...water moved.", Astra explained. That sounded way too painful.
"To me things started to happen as I wanted. I saw things that were not there. Soon enough people saw things I wanted them to see.", I said. "But that was not on purpose."
"I caused an earthquake when someone made me mad.", Zack said. That wasn't the best explanation but well enough.
"Mine were also triggered with anger. Sparks of thunder would appear in my hands. It was very scary at first, but I learned to control it with time. But I once got in fight with my ex-girlfriends and she saw sparks. She...wasn't scared. If anything, I'm glad she found out.", Fran explained with side smile. Malia gently looked at her. "We are still friends even today."
"I had just lost my home and started to sleep on street. I guess at first I couldn't control my powers in sleep so, sometimes, I would wake up far away from place I fell asleep. I was never fully in control until Zack invited me to live with Astra and him. They helped me control my powers.", Connor said.
Chills suddenly went up my arms and legs. He was homeless? Why? I felt so much sadness. It went over me like a hit in guts.
"I think-" Malia said "-that we didn't just get powers because of nothing. I think we did something to get them."
Astra pushed Zack's hand. "Yes! We thought so too! But we think it's not something we did but something that was done to us. Because both Zack and me got our powers after we got very hurt."
Was it really like that? Images from this morning came again to me. Not long from that day I started to notice things. I was only nine, but I remember everything. As I looked at everyone else, they seemed to be very hurt. Pain was lingering on their faces. Yes, we were all hurt somehow. That's how we got this powers.
"So... we all saw something we would rather forget then remember?" Yuko asked.
"Or did something...yes.", Fran added. This was all so sad. There was seven of us and if they all went through something at least similar to what I did, I can't imagine in how much pain they must be.
"Let's look at the good side!" I said without thinking. "At least we got this powers and met each other."
"We barely know each other.", Fran said.
"But we can get to know each other better. Connor can bring us together from time to time. There must be a reason why it's us seven. Not some other seven kids that went through painful stuff. It's us. So let's try our best to get along.", I gave my pep talk and looked at big golden clock on the wall.
"I agree. Let's just give it a try.", Zack said. Something about him talking made them all agree.
"I must go now. But I'll see you all again soon hopefully." I said and went to big hall that led to my room. I didn't say goodbye, but I didn't even feel like I should. They are all in my head anyway.
Luka was waiting for me to pack my things and get ready for a long way home. After I got ready, we went to dad who was already waiting for us next to our car. He said goodbye to his friend and started driving.
As we drove, I tried hallucination sharing again. I pictured bond Malia and I have. Link that connected us all and shared beautiful butterfly. It flew around air softly. Every move it made with its wings was made by me.
"That is so beautiful.", Connor whispered in my head. Yes, it truly is.
I always loved car rides, but this one was more calming than any before it. Luka would sometimes turn around to see how I'm doing, but I didn't mind. I was somewhere in my own world with beautiful big butterfly that flew next to Astra, Zack, Fran, Malia, Connor and Yuko.
It was already night when we parked home. I slept over big part of our car ride. At some point Luka went to back seat so he could sleep too. As soon as we got home, I went to my room. It was cozy with blue walls, table next to one wall, bed and wardrobe next to other. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't small. To me, my room was perfect. Especially now that I felt so worn out and tired.
"I'm home.", I said to our mind link so I would be at ease. This is home.
"Ema come shower!" dad called me.
"I'll shower first thing in the morning!" I yelled back and flopped on my bed.
Dreams almost instantly started to play in my head as I fell asleep. I didn't even have time to change into pajama from tiredness. Slumber took over me as familiar face wrapped up my head all over again.
"If you tell somebody, they will all hate you.", he said. I knew they wouldn't, but I still feared. I wanted to go home. It was so close to me, but so far away. I couldn't scream or cry. I just disappeared.
"Ema! Ema, dear, wake up. Please!" voice of Yuko spoke. I jumped back in reality with loud gasp.
"Shhh... Ema you're okay.", soft hands touched me. I looked up just to see worried Yuko and Connor. Connor was standing next to my table with his arms crossed while Yuko kneeled next to my bed with his hands on my shoulders.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered so I wouldn't wake Luka or dad up.
"Connor woke me up and asked to come with him. He said you felt distressed.", Yuko explained. How did Connor know how I felt? "He also said waking you up could be bad since you were already dreaming and blah blah...but I had to. You just looked so sad." Yuko added and moved his arms away from my shoulders.
"I am good now. Thank you both." I said and looked down on blanket that was on me. Connor stayed quiet and sat down next to my bed. "How did you know how I felt?" I asked Connor.
"Honestly? I have no idea. I just did."
"Ema you should get some more sleep. Connor and I will look after you so don't worry."
"What about you? You two should get more sleep too. I'll be okay, I promise.", I insisted but both seemed like they didn't care.
"Yuko went to sleep as soon as you went back to Croatia. That's why I took him with me. And I don't feel sleepy." Connor said. "So sleep some more."
I didn't feel bad for having two boys in my room. Even opposite, I felt safe. I moved my legs back so they could sit on bed. Yuko noticed and sat while Connor stayed on floor.
Just like that I lost myself in safe and gentle feeling.