I was walking down the in lane that led to my house .Jeff was waiting on the front of our porch like a mad hatter. He was walking to and fro around our parking lot ,rubbing his arm over his face like he was frustrated . I didn't know what his problem was, but if he has has a problem that sounds good to me .Mostly, he is a problem himself.He was about to pull his hair out and I loved whatever scares him.Its just I didn't know what it was,..yet.
I walked towards him.Today was the ' D day.' Mostly ,I avoid confronting this animal.But today everything seemed to be on my side.So whatever ,this man has today ,I am not going to bend over.I refilled my pepper spray can on my way.And If he ever tries to touch me again ,he would not leave without more than a scratch.I had disulfiram packets deeply stuffed into my bra.Pervert ,mess with me ,one more time and get your death wish signed.
"Lilith,why the hell was I informed that you were being suspended from your school for two weeks ?Are you being the school slut and got caught? Your mom is going to hear about this ,as she is back by tomorrow and if I get into trouble because of you ,I am not going to spare your good for nothing ass." He growled maliciously.Yep,like a fucking wolf.Either way ,I knew he was not even human.No human would stoop to his level.
He was waiting for me to get into the house to get his claws on me .So our neighbours would not know about his misdeeds.He was waiting for me to make a mistake ,so that he can be the good old dad who protects his daughter and makes her understand what is good and dad.But today I won't be that mistake and I won't be the one to lie low when you strike on and on.I feel like I am possessed today.And I am on a roll. Whoever stands on my way will get crushed.And he was begging to get crushed.
I didn't say a word to him .I went inside the house ,yep ,it's not home.Home doesn't make anyone feel fear.Home should feel safe and in here ,I don't feel safe.So ,it's not home.Its merely a house where I reside in ,with this animal.He was hot on my heels .Oh,so we are eagerly looking forward to my punishment .Are we?He closed the door behind me and began circling in our living room as if he was ready to pounce on me anytime.
Believe me when I say this,This time I don't feel like the prey .Last time was a reminder that being prey was not option.I felt like a predator waiting for the prey to make a mistake to pounce and finish him.Yeah, today I'm not sure whether I am sane enough.But if being insane meant this feeling that is swirling inside me ,I am nog complaining.If insane is me fighting back ,yes,I am insane to the deepest layer of my core.I want to fight back like anything.Its like there is this renewed vigor inside me ,telling me to seize the day ,to not to back down,to fight with all my might like Daniel did ,till my last breath.
I was going to climb the stairs to my room on the second floor.I knew , because ,last time ,he pulled me down the stairs.He was waiting .I am waiting.He came behind my back .I continued to climb the stairs.He had a long scarf in his hand .I could see his glee in the shining railing.He tried to pull that scarf from behind my neck and pull me down the stairs.I turned that Instant.He was not expecting it in the least when the pepper spray covered his nostrils ,eyes and face.He was going to fall from the stairs with the scarf hanging down on his arm,the scarf that he was planning to use to strangle me.
I pulled it in my hand.He was dangling by the scarf .If I let it go ,he would fall down the stairs like a rag doll.Like I fell that day ,but not that severe , because I planned to avoid the railing part.That means bleeding ,complications ,hospitals and questions.I am not in a mood to lie today.So ,j just let the scarf go.He yelled and cursed.But I could see him fall down the stairs like a rag doll.On the first floor he laid.I watched him ,still standing on the stairs.He tried to stand.But he couldn't.His ankle looked sprained.He stood up with the help of railing.He was cursing me with everything he knows.But I felt like laughing.And that's what I did.He looked at me like I am a maniac ,yelled at me and went to his room.
I knew he couldn't climb the stairs today.I was safe in my room.And according to him ,my mom will come tomorrow .A long pending conversation awaits me.This time Alice Clinton,you are going to answer my questions and chuck this pervert out of my life.
I laid in my bed ,relishing the feeling of safeness,of freedom ,of pride .It felt like bliss.If fighting gives me this feeling ,I won't ever go down without a fight.I never fought back because there was no one telling me yo fight.It was the first time someone told me so.And having a rock solid base is very important. To me ,Daniel ,you are the solid base,you are the basic structure ,you are the nucleus.I dont care whether you are dream or real .I don't know whether I am sane or insane .I don't care whether I hurt them of not. Today I did what I did , because of you.Today ,it was not just me fighting back.I would like to call it distribution of justice.
And being just is being in bliss.Daniel ,this is a beautiful feeling.This has been a beautiful day ,where everything is on my side because you were in my side.No,you were inside.I suffered from injustice from every nook and corner.I had so many worms in my life.
Alice Clinton denied me justice ,when she couldn't fight or tell me to fight against her first husband who tried to rape her seven year old daughter.She denied me justice again when ,I was in intensive care fighting for Life because her second husband decided that I was a block in his path to obtain her properties.And this time ,I won't sit around watching this pervert walk over me like a fucking doormat and you pretend every single thing is alright and fine with your daughter.Because it is not even in the lightest bit.I won't allow a third time.I am graduating in a month.So Alice Clinton, you will see your daughter for the maximum of one month.And you are going to give me the answers of all the things I have been denied from the start tomorrow.
And for Daniel ,you are my stepping stone.You are my space and galaxy.You are the most basic amino acid of my muscle fibre .You are Beethoven's symphony for me . Because whoever you are ,you are the reason for why I fight back.You are the reason for making me feel this beautiful feeling.You are probably the fraction of imagination of my unstable mind.But I think ,even if you are my imagination I love you to the moon and back.Because you got my back .And you were the one and only someone who told me to fight." fight ...my flower ...fight." your voice keeps ringing in my mind.
You are so beautiful in my dreams.But Daniel ,it's not your face ,not your appearance,not your courage ,not your ferociousness,but the fight that you instilled in me makes me love you.You are the dust ,you are the particle ,you are the atom for me . Because you are my basic building block.This day will be marked.Because you made Lilith fucking Clinton ,feel like she finally have a chance in life if she fights back.And for you ,Daniel only for you ,Lilith will fight back.
Lilith didn't know when she fell asleep.But after a long time ,she was not worried about anything.She was free of her demons and Daniel was the last thought that crossed her mind while she fell into sleep.. with a smile on her lips.