Did you ever wonder, how would not existing feel? I never did, maybe because it never felt important enough, and here I was stuck in the state of non-existence. If I had to describe this feeling, I will simply say... 'Nothing'. There was nothing. No emotions, no feelings, nothing that makes you feel simply yourself. It was simply Void.
I don't know how long I was in that state. I wondered if the time here passed at all. Maybe after a while, which felt like an eternity to me, I heard something. [beep beep beep]. If I was alive and was in a similar situation like this, I would say I passed out somewhere and was admitted to an hospital. Perhaps it was one of my lost memories and I was just simply reliving it. The sound had an uncanny resemblance to a machine which was trying to load properly. Apart form hearing that irritating sound I also felt something heavy on my eyes, as if my lids were weighing on them. So as a natural response I simply opened my eyes.
The area was dimly lit, yet the light was strong enough to hurt my eyes. At first everything was blurred, which focused gradually into a dark grey ceiling. Where was I? That annoying sound was still there mocking me by its activity as I laid still. I wanted to look around but I couldn't even move an inch, as if something was holding me back. It was like I was paralyzed. Can ghosts be paralyzed? Was I even a ghost anymore, or was I something else? I tried my best to move but it was all in vain. Even my peripheral vision was not much helpful. All I could do was stare into the grey ceiling and wait. Wait for something to happen which will get me out of this situation.
Suddenly as if I was getting an aneurysm or something, my head exploded with pain. It was intense enough to kill an alive person. It was something I was experiencing for the first time after I died. What was this feeling? It felt so... real. Even though I was dead, I couldn't take it anymore. It was getting even more agonizing over the time.
So I closed my eyes again, tightly this time, until the pain was gone. I still waited few minutes like that, afraid of what I will see when I open my eyes again.
Thankfully, when I finally opened them, I saw Margaret and Ken pacing around frantically in front of me until they noticed me. The were surprised to see me there, and honestly, even I was surprised to be here.
"Where were you!? " Margaret shouted as she approached me.
"Oh I'm so glad you're back!" Ken rejoiced and hugged me tightly. I mean if I could breathe in general I sure wouldn't be able to right now.
"What... happened? I asked amidst the bone crushing hug. Was I dreaming again? Was all of this real? I was really back right?
"You tell us! You faded away and almost after three hours you reappear, few more and it would be sunrise. Do you have any idea how worried we were?!" Margaret scolded me.
"You were... Worried for me?" amidst all the terrible things that happened today, my heart rejoiced. I might have smiled involuntarily.
"I mean... only because I didn't know what was happening to you. I was worried what if something like that happened to me? That's all." She swallowed as she explained herself.
She could deny all she want but I think she was starting to accept me into her tiny family. "Sure, I totally get that." I smiled despite my words.
"What?" She raised her eyebrows. "Anyways, what happened to you? Can you explain? When you dissipated, did you...go somewhere else?" She asked me carefully.
I told her all about the experience I had, to which she appeared even more confused.
"Could it be that she teleported for the first time?" Ken asked her.
"Seems unlikely. How do you explain the paralysis part?" Margaret shrugged
"Maybe since it's involuntary she didn't have quite the control." Ken suggested.
"Huh" Margaret thought for a while. "Did you recognize that place? At all? " she asked me.
"No, not at least from any of my memories after death." I told them.
"I seriously doubt it was teleportation. It seems like a new phenomenon to me" Margaret sighed. "I wonder what was the trigger. Did anything unusual happen before you started fading?"
"Well...I kind of had a flashback." Their eyebrows scrunched at my statement. "Well, I think I saw my death. Remember, I told you about the accident? That memory vividly resembled one at least."
"You want to tell us?" Margaret asked softly.
I nodded as I recalled that horrifying memory and I told her everything. She looked stunned and a little sympathetic towards me. Meanwhile Ken looked like as if he was about to cry.
"Anyways, I have to go, I have to take care of something. You should relax now, don't stress out."
"I guess you're right" I sighed. "Wait!! what if what just happened repeats itself, what shall I do then?" I asked her with concern. " I don't want to experience that again." My voice almost quivered when I said that.
"Don't panic, you will figure it out." she told me calmly and before she left.
Ken gave me another hug before leaving me to myself. After they left I just stood there wondering what I should do next. A lot happened in the last twenty four hours which I was still processing. Who knows what crazy thing will happen next. Since I died, this is the first time I felt... scared.