I tired to remain as calm as possible. I laid down on the couch, however this time I didn't close my eyes. Deep down, I was still terrified of what happened today.
I wanted to stay alert as much as possible. To spend my time I decided do something instead of just laying around. I was trying to think of any available and productive chores but nothing came to my mind. Suddenly I recalled that I had the diary of Virginia, and it could be potentially informative. There were limited number of entries therefore it should not take much time to finish it.
I started reading the very first entry which was recorded on April 1st 2020. The content was pretty much simple, there wasn't anything out of ordinary. Most of the entries mainly consisted of her elaborating on how she spent her day. The more I read it, the more I smiled. Even if in the long run, it turns out to be that I am not her, I was still fascinated to get to know her. The Diary probably reflected her truest version and she turned out to be quiet interesting. The content was pretty sweet. They mainly consisted of all the adorable things her daughter, or perhaps my daughter, did the whole day.
The frequency of the entries decreased after the entry on April 25th, where she mentioned that she has been promoted as the head of her project. It was quiet clear that being the head made her busy, as she had more responsibilities on her plate. The entry of June 22nd, which was the penultimate entry of the entire diary made me stiff. I had a smile on my face when I started reading it, however by the end of the entry it was gone. My smile was replaced with tears and unexplainable sorrow. The following was the entry...
[June 22nd, 2020.
Monday
Dear Diary,
Today was a strange day for me. Like every school days it started out with me waking up, making breakfast, feeding everyone including myself, going to work while I dropped Momo at her school. However when I was returning, I was checking my calendar for upcoming meetings when I noticed a mark. I have been so busy lately that I didn't realize I was late, so I stopped by the drug store, took the test, and guess what? I'm pregnant again! I've been probably smiling ever since. I am so excited to give our daughter a baby brother or sister. She is always pestering us to get a playmate for her. As much as I'll love to tell Tim this news right away, I don't want to. It will be so hard to keep it from him, but I think waiting for two more weeks will be worth it. If I manage to do that it will be a nice anniversary surprise gift.
Should I take the advantage of this fact and give him no other anniversary present? It will be quiet fun though. He will think I forgot, which was plausible given how much I had to work. The more I think about it the more I can't stop smiling. Another baby huh! More responsibility, but I'm sure like always I can't wait to figure it out together. I'm going to love this kid so much, and I will love both of my children equally! I already booked a doctors appointment for tomorrow let's see how everything goes. I'll write to you soon, I just hope that even by mistake Tim doesn't see this diary.
Love,
VIRGINIA.]
Her last entry confirmed that she was almost a month pregnant. It took me a while to recover from this entry. After I finished reading the diary I was frozen for a long time, struggling to keep my tears inside when they shamelessly ran down my cheeks. I was a ghost right? I wasn't supposed to able to cry, right? Then why couldn't I stop?
I couldn't help but keep wondering, what if I was Virginia? Does that mean my death wasn't just my own? Did I lose two lives at once? I failed to protect my own child? Then what about my baby, or my baby's soul? Even if the baby wasn't born, it must have had a soul right?Why someone so innocent, someone who wasn't even born yet, was killed along with me. It was just too cruel
I gave up on holding back my tears and I cried. I cried for a long time for the first time as I mourned for someone's else's death. Even though I was myself a ghost, I mourned a death.
After a long time I wiped off my tears before I headed over downstairs.
"What's wrong?" Ken looked at me with concern. I guess the bloody appearance of the edges of my eyes did give away the fact that I was crying.
"I..." I took a deep breath so that I can manage to speak properly. "I was reading her diary, or my diary. And guess what?" My voice quivered as I felt myself on the verge of tears again.
"What?" he asked.
"According to her last two entries..." I took another deep breath. "... Virginia was pregnant."
Margaret and Ken both their eyes widened as they stared at me. Even they were frozen for a moment before they looked at each other mimicking the same expression.
"If I was her, then I didn't just lose one life that day, I lost two." I say fighting back my tears. I was dead right? Then why did it hurt so much? I should not have feelings, but surprisingly being dead wasn't that much helpful after all.
Suddenly Margaret slammed the table hard., which startled both me and Margaret as we looked at her "That's it! It is a crime beyond imagination, we have to make sure that we do everything in our power to find out the real culprit. Whoever killed you, needs to pay for what their deeds." She said with utmost fury. The look in her eyes depicted as if she was ready to kill anyone.