After another few days, and only two rests resulting in paralysis, Caeli was able to wander somewhat further through the castle, exploring the rooms. Her next goal was to make it to the royal gardens.
And to find Raven.
She had not seen him since he had come to comfort her through her sleep paralysis. The thought causing her heart to skip a beat.
One day she decided to attempt the journey to the garden, debating on whether or not she should wait for Bat to arrive. If she went farther than she was capable of returning on foot, he was always happy to bring her back.
She figured that it was likely easy enough for him to find her and she wouldn't go too far.
She grabbed one of the various cloaks from the wardrobe and left her room, making her way slowly. It wouldn't do well to expend all of her energy at the beginning of her walk.
She continued slowly down the hall making her way to the front of the castle, she made a mental note that it must be what the people here considered night time. The lights were all lit but there was hardly anyone to be seen. The village could be viewed from the front doors of the castle and the town was quiet aside from a couple here or there holding hands and taking a walk. She noted that the night sky trees seemed a little darker as well.
She made her way to the side of the castle, walking along a wide and clear path lined with bushes that bore red fruit and had black leaves. The walkway brought her to a small garden encircled in trees, a fountain in the center.
She sat on the stone edge of the bubbling fountain and took the opportunity to catch her breath.
She turned slightly to inspect the fountains statues in the center. A woman with long hair, her hand raised to the sky as if offering something to the goddesses, water pouring from the palm of her hand. A large dragon encircled her feet and legs to face out towards the garden, water falling from his fanged mouth. Brightly glowing fish swam leisurely under the waters surface, disappearing under large leafed plants to reappear on the opposite side.
The woman was beautiful and the dragon fierce, the fountain made her think of the story she had read.
A moment later she saw movement in the trees. She waited for someone to show themselves but no one did.
As expected, she had rested for perhaps only ten minutes before Bat showed up, happily trotting towards her. She patted his head and got onto his back.
They returned to her room.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It was just the next day when she had the sensation of being watched and heard a quiet movement in the garden once more.
"Please come out.", she said without raising her voice. She was sure he would be able to hear her regardless.
Raven stepped from the shadows, his body seeming to withdraw from the darkness as if cloaked in it.
He bowed deeply.
"I apologize, I was just leaving.", he said simply.
She shook her head.
"Have you been following me?", she asked hesitantly.
He shook his head.
"Somehow, wherever I go, you are there.", he mused to himself about how true that was. He saw her in everything, the way the stars shined reminding him of her starlight locks. The dusty roses the same color as her lips brining her vision to his mind. "The garden also happens to be where I spend much of my time. I figured it was safe as you hadn't made it outside of the castle yet. At least, so I am told.", he said still bowed.
"You were trying to avoid me?", she asked.
He straightened and looked away from her.
"When we last spoke at length, it seemed appropriate to allow you your space.", he said quietly.
She was sure her cold behavior had given that impression, it made her feel regretful. But it did not change her unwillingness to trust.
"I see that you have made it quite some distance. I can send Bat to fetch you upon my departure.", he said before bowing and retreating into the shadows.
"Wait!", Caeli said, not meaning to shout.
Raven lifted his head, his body half hidden by shadow and half exposed, looking as though he were floating in dark water.
"I've gotten much stronger. I would like formal training.", she said confidently.
Raven's head turned to the side questioningly.
"Fighting, defense. I want to be able to protect myself.", she said abashedly. She hoped he didn't see her reasoning for what it truly was. Fear. She feared losing three months of her life and working tirelessly to regain her strength. "I want to learn how to take care of myself."
*I could take care of you Caeli.*, he initially thought to himself.
But he knew that she wouldn't want it that way. Not if she could help it. And it was better this way, the more she knew the less likely she would find herself in dangerous positions.
He nodded in agreement.
"My general Einar can teach you. He is one of the best swordsmen I have ever known.", he said.
"I want to start tomorrow.", she said plainly.
Ravens head turned, his red eyes glowing as they met her gaze.
"Caeli...", he said gently.
"Please? I do not want to be afraid any longer.", she said.
He thought of the temporary bond he had placed on her soul to tether it to her body, preventing her from doing any more unconscious Traveling.
"Caeli there is something you need to know.", he said emerging from the shadows once more to stand before her.
"When I found you in the mountains your spirit had been far from your body for quite sometime. Your grasp on your physical body was weakening with each day. Coruscare says that this is a symptom of an illness that is affecting you. This should be a priority. To ensure that we do not lose you again.", he said sadly.
She nodded thoughtfully.
"Fine. I will research and I will train. I have plenty of time in a day to do so. In time my endurance will improve and so will I.", she said determined.
He nodded and sat on the fountains edge, keeping distance between them.
"Caeli, in order to bind your soul I had to make a sacrifice to strengthen the spell.", he said watching her.
She looked at him in surprise.
"What kind of sacrifice?", she asked.
"A part of my heart. A very small piece, not to worry. I'd pay it again without hesitation. But the spell will only last so long. We need to resolve the underlying problem. It is a temporary fix.", he said sadly.
"Raven...", she whispered.
He shook his head.
"I knew that you wouldn't like the idea much. I also know that it is an invasion of your privacy and for that I am sorry. I thought you should know though. Like I said before, I will not hide anything from you.", he said, a smile in his deep voice.
Caeli sat quietly for some time. The levity of what he did settling in.
"Thank you.", she said to her clasped hands resting in her lap.
"There is no need. I could not repay the debt I owe you in a thousand years. Nor would I want to. I am thankful for your existence Caeli, and I know that many others are as well. You make the world a better place. You are something worth fighting for. I plan to do so as long as you allow it.", he said, his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the ground below them.
"Raven, I-", she started.
He shook his head.
"I have no expectations Caeli, only joy in knowing of your safety. I will do whatever I can to help you. Always.", he said.
She lifted a hand in his direction but he was already gone.
——————————————————————————
The next day Caeli awoke and readied herself for the day, the wound still large and painful but the edges itching, mending. She was now able to walk the halls and eat a third of her food without spilling it. It made her nervous to think of that though. Her right arms progress having slowed compared to the rest of her body. She was still having difficulty lifting it.
After a small meal, a soft knock came at the door.
"Please, come in.", Caeli said, sitting at a chair by the bed. The maids had brought a small table nearby so that she could take meals and read without having very far to go.
Einar entered the room and gave her a deep bow.
"My lady.", he said.
"Thank you for coming Einar. I am sure to be a disappointing student in this sorry state but I appreciate you taking the time nonetheless.", she said smiling.
Einar felt warmth run through his veins. He had hardly seen her in the days after her first arrival, too busy with matters of the state to visit much. Occasionally he would stop to greet her in the halls as she made her daily walks and inquire about her progress. Otherwise he was generally always deep in paper and plans.
She had filled out some since her first night there, the glowing of her skin more vibrant than before although it was hard to believe. Her skin and hair had been nourished by the herbs and tending of the women, her eyes brighter and more aware.
"Of course my lady. It is my pleasure. We will start lightly. However, I cannot imagine that anything you do could disappoint anyone.", he said honestly.
She laughed and he thought the heavens had opened, cherubs strumming dreamily on stringed instruments floating unseen above.
The small woman stood from her chair carefully and moved around the table slowly, wary so as not to bump into anything and cause herself to lose her balance.
"I thought we ought to start with simple exercises. Practicing stances for instance.", he said as he pulled out a silk scarf.
Caeli gave him a questioning look as he approached her and wrapped the scarf over her eyes and ties it behind her head.
"We are starting slowly but we will begin the same way all of my soldiers do. In the dark. You will learn to heighten your other senses while you train. It could prove useful and will teach you to be more in tune with your surroundings. Sight can be a distraction. This aspect of training will teach you to dig deeper.", he said before stepping away from her.
The next two hours he taught her the defensive stances she would use in a sword fight, sans a sword of course.
The blind fold made it harder to keep her balance but before they'd finished she found that it was less difficult.
Einar quizzed her on what she could hear and smell while demanding different stances at unpredictable intervals.
Despite her improvement she was still small and easily exhausted. He thought she would benefit more from pretending she had a steel weapon for now.
By the time it was done, she felt wrung out. It was hard to believe that the last she remembered, she had moved across Ausia and had been able to travel for an entire day before her and her companions would stop for the night.
The exercises had been simple, two stances that Einar taught her to switch between, correcting her and explaining his logic each time. Despite their simplicity, the questions on her surroundings made for a clumsy display. Her mind trying desperately to multitask.
"Very good my lady.", Einar said pleasantly as he removed her blind fold and assisted her to the chair.
"Who would have thought standing and answering questions would be so difficult.", Caeli huffily chuckled. She weakly swiped her forehead with the back of her hand.
"Not only that my lady. You were honing your senses, that is no easy task. But I do hope that I haven't exhausted you too terribly. I'm not sure I'd survive the masters wrath.", he said tugging at his collar which had suddenly become too tight.
Caeli laughed weakly.
"I don't believe that Raven would even realize. I haven't seen much of him recently.", she said softly looking away from Einar.
Einar's brows rose in surprise.
"But the master asked that you be moved to one of the balcony rooms down the hall from his.", he said slowly.
Caeli turned to Einar in confusion, unsure of what she had just heard.
"I apologize my lady. I presumed that you two had discussed it. He mentioned that you enjoy visiting the balcony of his room and decided that your staying in the infirmary was no longer necessary as everything you require can be brought to you.", he said swallowing hard.
The thought of having opened his gob on something he was not meant to causing a cold sweat on his brow.
Caeli slowly shook her head.
"The balcony?…. Of his room?…", she said slowly to turn and stare at Bat who was loudly snoring on her bed. "I see..", she finished.
She felt a sudden overwhelming desire to dig a deep and dark hole and bury herself in it.
"He planned to assist in your relocation tomorrow. He's also commissioned personal items for you.", Einar said. "Clothes, shoes, hairbrushes and the like.", he finished, taking a seat at another chair in the room to sit across the table from her.
"Einar, I apologize for borrowing your clothes. If I could only get a new outfit of the same quality I will give you your clothes back immediately.", Caeli said.
"You misunderstand me my lady. This was his lords wish. I think you look quite fetching in my clothes, they are yours to use at your leisure. Your use of my clothing is not the reason for this decision. Your wound will take much more time to heal, as will your body and mind. I get the impression that he hopes that you will stay and make yourself at home.", Einar said ringing the bell that never made sound.
Lynx entered moments later with Calliope just behind, both bringing in trays. One with tea and cups, the other with small pastry items.
"My lord, I hadn't expected you here. I shall fetch another cup.", Calliope said hastily. She set her tray down and left the room.
"Good evening my lord.", Lynx said with a smile and small curtsy.
Einar smiled back and nodded.
"Evening lady Lynx. Would it be alright that I join you for your tea time?", he asked glancing between the two women.
Lynx looked to Caeli attempting to read her expression.
The day before they had discussed Caeli needing someone to confide in. She was unsure of whether or not she wanted the butler privy to her inner thoughts.
Caeli, able to read Lynx's expression, gave her a small nod.
Lynx turned back to Einar with a wary smile.
"Of course my lord.", she said as Calliope returned, huffing, with another tea cup.
Calliope slowed as she sensed the tension in silence in the air but moved forward at Lynx's waving hand.
The women served Caeli and Einar before pouring their own cups full of tea and plenty of honey and cream.
"Please, take a seat.", Caeli said, attempting to relieve the silence that had fallen whilst the tea was being poured.
"Oh my lady, we couldn't possibly.", Calliope said, her exasperation bordering on theatrical. Her face shocked and horrified when Caeli indicated that they sit on the edge of the bed.
Caeli's brows rose in surprise before furrowing.
"Well I'll not have you two stand. There are only two chairs and you lovely ladies ensured that the table was within the beds reach. This would accommodate us all and allow us the break we all deserve.", Caeli said.
Lynx and Calliope looked to each other before both nodding warily. Both women slowly lowered themselves onto the edge of the bed and another heavy silence settled on the four.
"To be entirely honest, I am desperate for your friendship. All three of you. I haven't many friends and I feel that I am in need of some.", Caeli said.
Honesty was always a good place to start.
The three others expressions softened.
"I suppose it should also tell you that the relationship between your master and myself is quite complicated. Although I'm sure you've all discerned that by now. We met sometime ago, he was my friend. But he was dishonest in a way that hurt me greatly. I do believe him to be kind and good, but his betrayal lurks behind every action. I question his intentions and my own sanity.", Caeli said wrapping both of her hands on the sides of her cup, staring into the dark liquid, watching as the steam rose gently then dissipated.
Lynx reached a hand out to rest on her arm.
"You can tell us as much or as little as you'd like. Not a word will leave this room.", she said to Caeli.
Einar and Calliope nodded in unison.
"I wouldn't want to get any of you in trouble, nor do I wish to nurture bad feelings towards your master. As I said before, I do believe him to be good.", Caeli said, her throat feeling tight.
"Our love for our master is true. But that doesn't mean that we think he is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, I am only sorry that you were affected by them.", Einar said seriously.
Caeli bit down in her lip.
"He… he kidnapped me.", she said softly.
Her three companions all looked shocked at her admission.
"That sounds horrible.", Caeli said clasping her hands to her temples.
"Go on.", Lynx said softly. She threw a glance at Calliope who had begun to munch on a pastry. The sound loud in the silent room.
Calliope, realizing she was being pointedly looked at pulled her attention from Caeli, and halted her chewing.
Everyone turned their attention back to Caeli.
"He sensed me, I suppose would be the word. At the time, a shadow of himself and little more than a beast, or so he told me. He followed me, then in the dark of night separated me from my companions and took me to a place in the past. At first he said it was to protect me. Only after some time spent together did he admit that he had done it to be close to me.", Caeli said, finishing softly.
Hearing it aloud made her feel unsure of herself.
She had never been liked, let alone captured to be kept as company.
"Oh my…", Lynx said softly.
Calliope munched more rapidly and Einar watched Caeli quietly.
"I…. I cared for him. Before he told me the truth. I had been sent away from my home by the villagers. He was kind to me. We spent days together. He taught me much about the world around me, about surviving, about being in control of my emotions. And how to calm the buzzing in my head when things become too much.", she said, gritting her teeth at the revisiting of her heartache.
Like an orchestra, the strings of the workers hearts were viciously plucked collectively.
Her sadness radiating from her like a cold blast of winter air. Einar made a mental note at her affect on her surroundings when feeling emotions. He had also noticed it when she was happy.
"Then he told me the truth, and I insisted that he return me to where he found me. It wasn't long after that that I made my way to the Ausia mountains and lost consciousness.", she said with a heavy sigh. "I know so little of the last few months. I feel as though I'm living someone else's life."
*Poor girl.*, Einar thought to himself.
"And now?", Lynx said, her question seeming to ring loudly in the quiet.
Caeli's head lifted quickly to meet the gaze of the nursemaid.
"I'm not sure. And each day I try to process but the energy I can dedicate to the entire thing is very little. I still struggle to eat and walk. Although you all know that very well. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate everything that you do for me. Truly.", Caeli said smiling sadly at her three companions.
Her appreciation warmed their hearts.
"My lady, if it's alright for me to say so, I know that the masher cares for you very much. I also sense that he deeply regrets the hurt he caused you.", Einar said gently. Lynx nodding in agreement and Calliope working on her third pastry. At Einar and Lynx's glances she nodded enthusiastically, if not a little belated.
Caeli sighed heavily.
"I should open up more shouldn't I?", she said, giving a half smile to the three.
Einars heart raced. She was beautiful assuredly, but he wasn't sure he'd ever met such a handsome woman before.
He was sure that Lynx and Calliope were thinking the same thing.
Same sex relations were a common thing in the Midnight Forest, many of its inhabitants raised to believe that true love was not to be denied, no matter the circumstances. Sex was rarely considered when choosing a partner.
"I think what Einar is trying to say is that, should you want to attempt to become friends with our lord once more, that you owe it to yourself. And that he is sure that our master will do his best.", Lynx said smiling kindly at Caeli.
Caeli nodded before swallowing with some difficulty.
"I fear the capacity of my feelings for him, and consequently the power it gives him over me. I've never felt so helpless, so broken, before. When you are raised in a village where all others find you strange, you don't often consider anyone close. If no one is close, their actions cannot harm you.", Caeli said looking to Bat who had moved to the end of the bed to accommodate the women. His large blinking eyes watching them curiously.
"This is true. But if you never allow anyone in, you may miss out on some very wonderful experiences. Is the return not worth the risk?", Calliope said contemplatively.
"There is one other issue…", Caeli said slowly.
The three gave each other glances before nodding, encouraging Caeli to continue.
"Coruscare. He took me in and visited me with the Catcher. We… we spent some time together. Nothing happened, of course. But I need answers. Answer I think he can answer. And our time together was pleasant. We were becoming close I believe, right before Raven came to find me.", Caeli said biting her lip once more.
Calliope stifled a gasp.
"A love triangle! My goodness, I've never been privy to such excitement in my whole life!", she said excitedly.
Lynx turned rapidly to give Calliope a reprimanding stare in which Calliope replaced her hands over her mouth.
"But I had forgotten about Raven! It was as though I was a completely different person, with a different past. I was a young woman meeting a handsome king. I am told I was living with my parents in the past during my Traveling. I had no recollection of my physical life. I feel as though two different Caeli's came together and are attempting to live inside of me ever since Raven woke me.", Caeli said in despair.
"My lady, there is no right or wrong with emotions. There is only the trueness of those emotions. That is all that matters.", Lynx said reassuringly.
"What do I do my friends? I am lost. My mind wars with itself daily, my arm refuses to move, my body depleted.", Caeli said hopelessly.
"You do whatever you feel is right and whatever it takes to understand the things you are feeling. We understand, as would the master.", Einar said nodding in agreement with himself.
"Find the answers you search for, and keep an open mind.", added Lynx with a warm smile. "It's all any of us can do."
Caeli nodded before smiling.
"Thank you my friends. I feel a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.", Caeli said with a relieved breath.
"I vote we come together like this at least once a week! A regular congregation! It may help you my lady.", Calliope said excitedly.
Lynx nodded sagely.
"I think Calliope has a point. We've focused on your nutrition and your physicality with no regard to the healing your mind and soul requires. I think we could be of some assistance if the idea pleases you?", Lynx asked.
Caeli nodded as enthusiastically as she could muster with what little energy she had left.
"I would like that very much.", Caeli said softly, her energy waning.
"We shall leave you to rest, you've earned it.", Einar said smiling and assisting her to stand, taking her good arm.
He helped her to the bed where the women pulled back the covers. They assisted in getting her to lay down and Bat moved closer once she was settled.
"I should at least freshen up. I don't want to ruin the bedding.", Caeli said groggily.
Lynx waved a dismissive hand.
"Hush now. Call for us when you wake and we'll clean you up then. For now, rest.", she said pulling the covers over her.
Caeli gave her one of her innocently charming half smiles before her heavily lidded eyes shut.
Her breathing slowed immediately and she was asleep.
The three tidied the table and collected the tea and food.
They left quietly, Einar giving Bat a pat as he went by.
Once the three entered the hallway, they all glanced at each other.
"I think they love each other.", Lynx said happily, before turning to walk down the hall.
"But what of her feelings for Coruscare?!", Calliope whispered frantically, hastily striding to catch up with Einar and Lynx.
Einar waved a dismissive hand.
"Our lord is far more humble and kind than that creature. She will choose the master in the end. It is inevitable.", Einar said confidently.
Lynx stopped abruptly, the tow others coming to stop beside her.
"Let us agree, we shall have our own hopes for Caeli but we will not try to sway her. The girl is confused enough, she deserves the time and patience to figure things out at her own pace.", Lynx said firmly.
Einar and Calliope glanced at each before they both nodded in agreement.
"Very good. Same time and day next week?", Lynx asked cheerfully.
Einar and Calliope agreed happily. Einar bowed before the women before taking his leave.
"I do hope she chooses the master though.", Lynx said, whispering conspiratorially to her friend.
Calliope nodded in agreement.