Chereads / Medication / Chapter 1 - I

Medication

AZFell
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - I

Daniel just wanted to be normal. He didn't want to be the kid in school kids talked about when he wasn't around. He didn't want to be known as "that kid with schizophrenia," instead of his own name. He wanted a friend for a change, not another one that was his friend for a week tops before fucking him over and humiliating him for laughs. It wasn't like the whole school was against him and did this to him, his life wasn't that big of a cliché. It was just a small group of kids who didn't know when to stop teasing others. They had no clue when to stop, despite the damage they'd done to the kids who were minorities or not exactly perfect. They didn't care about all the broken pieces they'd left behind them from shattering others' self esteem, it was all just a joke. If it didn't hurt them directly, why should they care?

Daniel had become somewhat immune to everything they had to say by simply ignoring everything and everyone aside from Jack Garvey. For the most part, Jack was the only one Daniel hadn't shut out after years of what felt like torture. He didn't particularly want to isolate himself more than he had to, but he'd sort of progressed that way over time. He was fine though, or so he'd convinced himself. He wasn't 100% fine with the constant loneliness, but he'd suppressed these thoughts so he'd convinced himself they simply didn't exist.

Jack kept him perfect company, and they were perfectly happy with each other. Of course the relationship was was completely platonic. Jack was straight anyways. Jack did try to get Daniel to socialize with some of his friends, but he had insisted on being alone. He'd gotten comfortable in solitude, and had no intentions of changing that. Perhaps he'd like a friend other than Jack, but he had been blinded by his own denial. It wasn't like he was in such desperate need for another friend that he was just going to collapse under the weight of the loneliness. he really was fine, he would have just been better with someone else perhaps. Jack was the only friend he really needed.

Daniel's schizophrenia wasn't the worst case by any means, but it wasn't good either. He was of course managing it with his meds, but some days it didn't quite work, or he forgot or refused to take them. Most days he was fine, but some days he wasn't. On these days he would let Jack talk to him for hours until he deemed himself alright, and most of the time ended up taking his meds thanks to Jack talking him into it. He did have a history if imagining people for short periods of time due to a mixture of somewhat frequent hallucinations and solitude. Jack used to try to convince him they were not real, but he'd learned to just play along and wait it out because Daniel didn't particularly appreciate being told whoever he'd imagined wasn't real. He didn't see any real harm in allowing him to believe.

Today just happened to be one of those bad days, and it was one of the really bad days. He woke up right before experiencing a pretty intense schizophrenic episode and he couldn't convince himself to to take his medication. It started with two voices that seemed to be completely real speaking to and about him.

"Oh look, worthless is up," a female voice hissed as a male voice huffed in annoyance and started muttering things Daniel couldn't quite make out about him.

Daniel really did try his best to ignore them or pretend the voices weren't there because part of him knew they weren't real. However the part in control of him right now was convinced these voices in his head were real, and figured they should be listened to any obeyed.

In attempts to follow his daily routine, he shuffled into the bathroom and started digging through the cabinet above the sink to locate his medication.

"No! Don't take those," the female voice told him. Daniel couldn't help but obey as the two voices informed him that he couldn't eat anything because someone was out to get him and surely poisoned all of his food, and likely his meds as well. To anyone else, or perhaps Daniel himself when he could control this, that wouldn't have made much sense at all but he found it difficult to disagree with the voices arguing and insulting him.

"Don't do that, stupid," the male voice commanded as Daniel went to turn on the TV after attempting to complete his morning routine. The TV flicked on, as Daniel had it on before the voice spoke up, to a news reporter.

"They're out to get you," the female voice whispered. "They know about you." The male voice was quick to make a comment of agreement before throwing another insult.

The voices went on for a while longer before Daniel's mother finally woke up and figured out what was going on with her son pretty quickly. She'd grown used to this happening every so often and had managed to convince Daniel to take his medication when this occurred. Today was no different, so after a while without too much hassle, she did manage to get everything under control.

Hours later, Daniel and Jack were sitting by themselves in the school cafeteria talking about whatever came to mind. Daniel brought up his schizophrenic episode, as Jack was the overly concerned about mental health type of friend and asked Daniel to talk to him about it whenever he experienced something of the likes.

"C'mon, tell me about it," Jack pushed after Daniel hastily brought the issue up.

"It really wasn't a big deal," Daniel sighed, not wanting to discuss it.

"I'm just trying to help look out for you, dude," Jack said with a shrug. "I care, y'know?"

"Yeah," the older of the two muttered. "It wasn't anything much different than usual." He took a long pause before continuing. "Voices, and- Jack, I really don't wanna talk about this anymore."

It was actually unusual for Daniel to not open up to Jack, so he got the message that Daniel really didn't want to discuss it any longer and dropped the subject, keeping his concerns to himself despite desperately wanting to pry.

"Alright, fine," Jack sighed. "You going to Warped this year?" The two had a yearly tradition of attending all the Warped Tour shows in California and had been doing it since the seventh grade when Jack's dad had to drive them around.

"You know I am," Daniel said with a grin. Going to Warped with Jack had to be his favorite part of the year, and it was the perfect place to let loose and have fun. As the end of the school year was approaching, the first California date was within a month and neither one of the two could have been more excited.

Happy with the subject change, Daniel carried the conversation on with Jack until the lunch period ended before carrying on the otherwise uneventful day.

Daniel brought Jack home with him so they could hang out and discuss plans and whatnot for their summer, babbling excitedly. He found his parents sitting down in the living room, giving him a look that said, "we need to talk."

"Daniel, can you come here? You too, Jack," Daniel's mother said softly. Daniel obeyed her wishes, mentally going through all the possible things that he and Jack would need to talk about with his parents. Judging by their faces, Daniel assumed it was serious.

Before anyone else could say or question anything, Daniel's mom spoke up again. "Daniel, I'm worried about you. Your episodes have become far too frequent, and they've been getting worse, if I'm correct?"

Daniel just nodded slowly, uncomfortable talking about this with anyone other than Jack. It clicked in his mind that's why she called him over as well, because Daniel actually talked to him.

"But it's fine- I'm fine. You really don't need to worry," Daniel said quickly.

"Your mother and I arranged for you to spend a while in a mental hospital, we think it will really help you," his father dropped the bomb on him.

"What? No," Daniel protested. He was convinced they were now doing this to harm him. He began thinking of all the possible things they could do to him, and how to escape.

"Daniel, please. I think this will really help you. You need it. I don't know if you realize it, but you really do need this," his mother said. "We're worried about you."

Daniel tried to say that he was fine, but he couldn't seem to find the right words to argue his case. A small part of him knew they were right and he really did need this. His panicked side was in control however, not allowing him to think rationally or of the benefits of going to a mental hospital for a bit. He knew it would ultimately help him, yet he was coming up with every excuse he could think of to get out of it. He still couldn't seem to form words, so he kept these points to himself, just giving his parents an odd look that was a mix of shock and denial.

"Jack, sweetie, I hate to drag you into this now but don't you agree this would help Daniel? You know him better than anyone," Daniel's mom asked.

Daniel gave him a look that said, "Please don't agree with them." Jack sighed and shrugged. "They are meant to help. I don't know, dude. I don't think it would hurt anything."

"You're kidding," Daniel groaned, feeling as if the whole world was against him.

"I'm sorry, Daniel," his mom sighed.

Daniel stopped the conversation and went upstairs, dragging Jack with him. He couldn't stay for long, so after a couple of hours, Daniel found himself alone, dreading the mental hospital. he had no clue how long he was staying and could only pray it didn't interfere with his summer plans. He had a very warped understanding of how mental hospitals worked, and had somehow managed to convince himself they were just like ones from the early 1900's that included torturous activities. This couldn't have been farther from the truth, but he didn't really know that. Part of him really did know, but he was involuntarily ignoring that part of himself.

He found himself lying awake for hours, more or less panicking about the mental hospital situation. He didn't like feeling like something was wrong with him, and he didn't like special attention or treatment because of his schizophrenia. Going to an institute would be the absolute opposite of that, and he hated it. He honestly just wanted to be as normal as possible, ignoring his episodes and pretending they didn't happen. Gossip traveled fast at his school anyway, so he was sure the topic of his visit to the institute would be rather popular as nothing else happened in the area. Everything was gossip, and it got around quick.

He was eventually able to shut down these thoughts long enough to slip into a peaceful sleep, his final thoughts being something on the topic of the hospital patients, and how he was to become one of them.