When I came to I was shaking and asking Cass, "It was real right? I'm not dreaming? That was John on the screen?"
Cass is sitting there out of it, I don't think he could process much at the moment.
I frantically find another news outlet that has the video of it and sure enough there he is again, but he says his name is John Douglas? That can't be right. Not unless John has an almost identical doppelganger.
I start to look up records and Cass stops me. "I'll do it, I can cover our tracks better and now that I know they were using the spy drones I made, I need to send them a little thank you note." I hand over the computer and he is whizzing away on it doing things so fast I didn't know it was possible and soon enough he's waiting as something starts to upload. A screen pops up with a picture.
....
t(-_-t) Stick it in a cactus pricks! t(-_-t)
....
"So what did you just do exactly?"
"Virus, none of their drones will ever work again at least the ones that used a particular code phrase, which is essential to them transmitting the signal. Works on the transmitters and chips and everything else I did before I left them." He smiles up at me.
"You had the foresight to do something like this? What about your drones we gave Alex and ours."
"Not a problem, ours use different coding in that section."
"Cass?"
"Yeah Sin?" He looks at me void of emotion. I know he's hurting.
"I'm sorry about Faidh." I sincerely said.
He looked at me and just started crying non-stop. I opened up my arms and he went right into them and I just held him as he cried, knowing the anguish of loss.
.....
*Across the World*
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL THE DRONES ARE GONE?!"
An intimidated man hands over his phone and on the screen it shows.
.....
t(-_-t)Stick it in a cactus pricks! t(-_-t)
....
"DAMN IT!" The man throws the phone shattering it to pieces. Bring me the new one, Douglas! If I can't track the bitch to keep her in line, we'll just have to lure her out."
The frightened man runs out of the office quickly to do the others bidding.
The man turns and puts his feet up another mans back who's on all fours by him.
"SO COUNCILMAN GRAVES....." The man sneers at the man who's become his footrest. " SINCE you can not seem to cover your tracks..... You're just going to have to get caught." He laughs as the man beneath his feet starts to tremble.
...
Alex and Natalia arrive at the house and they're scanned to make sure. They're informed of the matter and the risk at hand. Cass is hard at work for a permanent 24/7 scanner for this house and making stinger drones to destroy or infect any one that is not one of ours. He moves all of our money and stocks, bonds everything so fluidly and quickly and seamless I don't know what to say. All of it is in safe Swiss bank accounts under new identities for everyone. It keeps him focused on something other than the pain.
Lar and his brothers appeared with our clothes, pictures, valuables and toiletries from our places. They were given lists of anything we could think of and made quick work of getting everything from documents, cash, they even brought me Sinatra's food, cat box, and my Aston Martin. I hugged every single one of them thanking them for doing all this.
Belle comes in through the door and sees everyone in the house and stops. She looks around and seems bewildered. I stop and look at her..."Didn't see this coming?" a question going for my gun. Lar stops me.
"It's okay Mija, Ella está embarazada. ( she is pregnant.)" Lar says it like that should make sense to me.....
"Visions are few during pregnancy. For her kind." He adds making sure I take my hand off my gun.
Belle walks forward and gives Lar a kiss on the cheek.
"UH congratulations?" I don't think I can take anymore on the roller coaster ride of emotions today. I sit down, dizzy, my heart racing, and I feel like I can't breathe.... I can't take anymore.
Alex sees I'm about to break and rushes from Natalia and sweeps me up in his arms and takes me to my room closing the door behind him with his foot.
I feel like I can't breath, it hurts, my breath is coming to quick and short but I can't stop it. The room is spinning and I'm getting nauseous from it spinning. I'm sweating like I just ran a marathon, ears are ringing and starting to cry overwhelmed.
I'm going to die...I'm really going to die this time and not come back. I've messed up every ones lives and put them all in danger when I can't protect them. They all might die because of me.
I feel like I'm about to pass out when Alex brings me up into his lap, placing my head on his chest.
"Find my heart beat, listen to it try to listen and match it's rhythm." He holds me letting me try and focus on his heart beat. So far it's not helping.
"Hey now Maria, I'm not heartless, listen to my beating heart. Match the rhythm of my heart like it was just beating for you. He rocks me as the ringing in my ears starts to quiet down and he just keeps telling me. "Listen to my heart beat, find the rhythm, make your heart match mine and breathe."
He repeats this for 30 minutes before I can breathe again.
"I'm so tired." I tell him my eyes heavy and sagging.
"Then sleep, you're safe right now. I got you." Alex whispered stroking my hair still letting me listen to his heartbeat.
.....
*Sin dreaming*
I turn around from the bar drinking my whiskey on the rocks staring across the room of people. My hand brushes my hair away from my face and I make my way out from the bar. I'm waiting for someone among the sea of faces in the bar that all blend together. I keep looking for this person. Who am I looking for again? I see my self in the reflection of the bars mirror on the wall. I'm wearing a white cocktail dress and in the mirror I see a face that is familiar.
I turn and go after the familiar face pushing my way through the thickening mass of blank faces. Finally I break free and the one I've been chasing is right in front of me, I smile as he offers his hand to dance. We dance and I feel at peace. When he twirls me around and brings me close I hear him whisper.
"I love you Sin."
"John"
....
"John.."
I feel warm under the blanket curled up on Johns chest in his arms I take a deep breath...
"John..." I start to open my eyes and realize that's not Johns scent.
I sit up looking around and it's Alex under me.
Wait what? Natalia is in the chair snoozing next to Alex who is now awake.
"John?" I turn around looking for him.
"Where is he? John?" I start to climb off the bed and Alex stops me.
"Maria, John is not here anymore, it was a dream. He died remember?" Alex says slowly starting to gingerly stretch his cramped and aching muscles.
"OH..yeah..." Everything refreshes in my mind and I grab some clothes and go to the bathroom to cry in the shower. I get out of the shower, get dressed, and walk out to see Alex holding Natalia on the bed chit chatting.
"Uh, thanks for trying to help me. I feel awful, I don't know why I had a panic attack yesterday. Belle isn't upset right?" I awkwardly thank them both.
"No she's not upset. I didn't know you had panic attacks Sin." Natalia informs me.
I sheepishly shrug, "Not exactly something I like to admit. It comes with my past job description and experiences though."
"You two used to be in a relationship?"
....Oh no.....
"Natalia..." I start and Alex interjects.
"Yes, but it was different then what our kind of relationship was. I know Maria.. sorry Sin," Natalia gives him a look when he used Maria, "doesn't like to share some of the stuff she has gone through but maybe, Sin you should tell her what happened and how John died so she'll understand what Belle was trying to tell her last night."
Alex....just through Belle straight under the bus and I will be taking the next route over to her stop once we're done with this.
So I told Natalia how I had been captured by Ortiz, murdered, tortured, and raped, too many times to count. How Alex, John and several others all went in to save me since the people pulling the strings left me to rot even though I had what they had asked for.
How Farel and John died, and the 8 years of mental anguish I was in. Any man who got too close to me with any aggressive or sexual intention would have me trembling in terror or beating them to a pulp. One day I came over since I was in the neighborhood and had some drinks and felt like I need a hug so I took one. Alex knowing me pretty well at this point knew this was a rare occurrence and was unsure at the time of how he could try to help me.
"He helped me start to heal again, that is true, but we talked about it afterwards and knew that it wouldn't be anything more than helping me begin to heal the unseen wounds and remaining friends. I would never had tried to hook you two up like I did at the show otherwise. Maybe we should have said something sooner to you. I think though that waiting till you knew our character better will help you see, we're close friends but that's all we ever will be. I am not destined for him, you are."
"I'll leave you two alone, give you some space and time to think about and understand your feelings on the matter. I understand if you'd rather not leave me and him alone in a room anymore, but I have serious trust issues.."
"Plus she has a problem with rambling when she's feeling awkward and guilty." Alex adds using his head to point to the door.
I take my cue to leave and shut the door, heading straight up the stairs to see Belle.
.....
Before I get halfway upstairs Cass is calling me from downstairs.
"SIN! GET IN HERE!" He waves me to the dining hall and I run back down as he ushers me to the computer. It's on a news report for the Washington D.C. area I was at yesterday.
"So John, you are one lucky man to have survived that gas explosion at the laundromat the other day. Turns out you're even more lucky then you originally thought, so let me get your story right out to our viewers."
"You woke up about 7 years ago, no real memory, I understand you get flash memory, a single moment in time like a picture but no context.. All you know for sure is your first name is John. You chose the last name Douglas before leaving the hospital. Why did you choose that name?"
"Yes that's correct, I chose Douglas, because I think there was a nurse there with the last name Douglas but I not sure, it just felt like I had a connection to the name. I know it's hard understand, but try being in my shoes. I don't have any of my memories." John says talking to the host anchor that was interviewing him.
"That's why we're going to try and help you out, If you or anyone you know, has any information or knows who John really is, please call the number provided on the screen and on our website. Help the man find his family!"
....
"There is no way that is John. It's IMPOSSIBLE! HE DIED IN MY ARMS CASS! IT'S JUST A TRAP TO LURE ME OUT AND CATCH ME. WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS?!" I know it's unfair to take it out on Cass but I am not know for being emotionally stable either.
"Because I thought you should know." Cass says and turns off the computer and walks away obviously hurt. He goes down the hall into the room Moll and Mark are staying in and he starts yelling, "OH MY GOD SIN! SIN!"
I run down the hall and ....
"NO, NO, NO NO NONONONONONONONO! MOLL?! MARK?!" I see them laying in the bed holding each other and they're not breathing. I start to do CPR but Cass pulls me off.
"ITS TOO LATE SIN, LOOK!" He points down at a note on the floor as the room floods with the footsteps and then silent shock of the others, I pick up the note, reading it out loud.
"To our son,
We do this out of love, we do not wish to run or put any of you in harms way. We are sorry if this is selfish to you now, but we realize we can not help and we are only a burden and way to hurt you all. We leave everything to you our dear Caspian. We are so proud of the man you have become and the man you continue to be, ever since you came into our home for the first time, We fell in love with you. There's so much we are going to miss out on with your life. I would have loved to have been a grandma myself, your dad says he's still to young to be called a grandpa. Your dad right? Please take care of your Auntie for us, you're a big part of the small bit of family she has left. Make sure she doesn't drown her sorrows in whiskey, make sure she takes care of herself, the same goes for you too son. We Love you, Always. Mom and Dad
Auntie Mary,
We Love you too, there's so much here I could say and would like too, but none of it could truly express what is in our hearts for one another. If we were to ever be caught Mark and I wouldn't be able to handle the things that they would do to us to get to you. Also we do not wish for you to worry about us. It's selfish and it's not at the same time. We know that there is too much loss when it comes to our family and that we are only adding more. You both are stronger than we ever could be. So I'll just remind you, "NO DROWNING YOUR SORROWS IN A GLASS, YOU'LL WASTE THE GOOD WHISKEY THAT WAY. NO TEARS FOR THE ONES YOU HAVE LOST, DO NOT SHAME OUR MEMORY AND STAIN THE GOOD THINGS WITH PAIN." Please bury us with Gran in the family tomb and take care of our son and remind him we love him and are proud of him. You both will need each other. Love you Always
Moll and Mark
.......
I drop the note, grabbing Cass and hauling him out of the room crying, "What are you doing?"
"LET ME GO!"
"Cass, we can't do anything just like you told me. CASS! CASPIAN look at me." I gently make him look at me.
"I love you and we will get through this. What you do not need right now is to look at the empty shells they've left behind. Alright. I promise you, I will kill every last one of the bastards that had a hand in leading up to this day and point. I NEVER BREAK A PROMISE CASS. NEVER."
I grab him up in my arms tightly as he just nods and I try to keep him together as broken and shattered to dust as I am myself, I tremble struggling but I will do it. Natalia comes up and hugs me and Cass. I give her a weak smile of thanks.
I can't believe it, but after what they've heard has happened to me. .. I understand it the fear they had too. I glance around at everyone there and they all nod their heads in agreement. They'll help support us when we are weak.
It gave me strength feeling their support, and I'll be using that strength given. I will get every last single one and when I get to the puppet master..... I will not be merciful.... I promise.