I can't think. I know Christina and Erik have tried to get through to me. We've been here for hours. I've been sitting in the waiting area for too long. Kasen has been in surgery for the longest time. Almost every scenario imaginable has been running through my head: What if he has amnesia and doesn't remember me, like what happened to me with Erik? What if he goes into a coma and never wakes up? What if... What if he is dead?
The more I thought. The more on edge I became.
"Princess?" I heard him ask. I looked up and for the first time since I saw Kasen on that stretcher I was able to see clearly. There was nothing clouding me; I saw Kyle standing in front of me, his eyes worried. I stood up hesitantly, afraid my legs would not be able to hold my weight, and wrapped my arms around his neck. It felt nice to have the warmth and comfort right now. He sighed when i gave him some kind of response that i didn't give Erik or Christina. He slipped his arm under my legs, picked me up bridal style, and sat down in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs with me in his lap. His arms snaked around my waist pulling me towards him, eliminating space between us. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried.
"H-He's my best friend. I can't lose him!" I sobbed, continuing the sentence over again. It seemed all I could think was that one sentence.
"Shh. You won't lose him." Kyle whispered to me. I knew he was just saying that to make me feel better because he didn't know anymore than I did but I felt myself calming down. We stayed that way for minutes. I didn't want to leave his arms; they felt as safe as Kasen's. I finally pulled my head away and looked at the tear stained spot I had left on his shirt. I instantly felt bad.
"I'm sorry for ruining your shirt." I told him honestly.
"You didn't ruin anything. It'll wash out Dev." He called me by Erik and Christina's nickname for me. I smiled at him for the first time tonight. Not because I was happy but because I like this Kyle better than the mean bad-boy attitude he always had. Kyle had noticed my smile and was about to say something about it when we heard, "Family of Kasen Horton?"
I stood up and looked to see the doctor looking around the waiting area. I walked, with my crutches, over and said, "That's me." He directed his attention to me. "How is he?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
"He lost a lot of blood. He hit his head pretty bad, and there was a lot of internal bleeding in his skull." The doctor explained.
"What exactly happened?" I asked the doctor.
"He was hit by a car." Oh my god. This is all my fault. If i had just gotten him to stay—
"I-I-Is he..." I trailed off not knowing how to end the question without breaking down. The doctor's eyes showed a bit of sadness in them.
"He's not dead but he won't live for much longer. There's been too much trauma to the body. He is awake." He explained. I nodded the entire time the doctor spoke. I just wanted to know one thing.
"Can I see him?" I asked. The doctor nodded and led me to Kasen's room. The sight was heartbreaking. I saw him and my eyes filled with tears. I covered my mouth with my hand to keep my sobs at bay. I walked over to him which was difficult to do with crutches and blurry eyesight.
"Devyn." He croaked.
"This is all my fault." I said mostly to myself. I sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed and I grabbed his hand with mine. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." He told me.
"I love you." I said not knowing what else to say.
"I love you too Devvy." He said with a slight smile on his face. His smile was only there for a moment before his face became serious again. His eyes drifted from where my eyes were to where I laid my crutches down. Confusion spread across his features, and I knew, I knew, the next question that was going to come out of his mouth.
"Devyn, why do you have crutches?" His question sounded strained, like he was forcing it out.
"When I fell, I sprained my ankle." I explained.
"You didn't fall. I'm not that stupid. What happened Dev?"
I sighed heavily before responding, "When you... When-," I couldn't finish the sentence, not while he's laying here dying in front of me.
"When I pushed you." Kasen forced the words I could not say.
"Yeah, right, when that happened, as I fell I twisted my ankle and when I went to stop you from walking away I made it worse." I explained as if it was nothing.
"Oh Devyn. I'm so sorry. I didn't know what came over me. I shouldn't have pushed you. I shouldn't be allowed to even lay my finger on you anymore." He said pulling his hand away from mine. My hand got cold almost suddenly as the temperature around it disappeared. He looked away really fast but not before I saw a single tear run down his face. A single tear that shattered my heart to pieces.
"Kasen." I tried. "Kasen, look at me." Nothing. "Kase please." I tried one last time, my voice breaking on 'please'. He finally looked at me.
"What are you afraid of most?" I asked him hoping this would lead right where I wanted it to.
He looked at me like I was crazy. After a minute he said, "What am I afraid of most? God, Devyn, that's the easiest thing ever: leaving or hurting you."
"Then why did you run after you pushed me? After I saw you were gone the pain surging through my palm and ankle was nothing compared to knowing you had left me. Then, god, then when I saw you on that gurney, I flipped my shit. I thought... I thought I..." I trailed off not wanting to say it. I couldn't say out loud that I thought I lost him to death. I didn't even know I was crying until a tear had rolled off my cheek onto my hand.
"Devyn, please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry." He said. I dried my eyes and just sat there not knowing what to say. Everything was silent except the beeping of the machine Kasen was hooked up too.
After five minutes, I couldn't help but notice the beeps were getting slower. I looked over to him and he looked at me and said one thing, "Kyle." I ran and got Kyle. I knew that's what Kasen meant. He had something to say to him, and I'll damned if I don't let that boy say what he needs to.
"Kyle!" I yelled when I came into the waiting area. He was up and by me in a flash.
"What is it?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Kasen wants to see you." I told him as I tried to catch my breath. He nodded once and began to walk away.
"Everything will be fine sis." Erik said coming up behind me.
Kyle's POV
"Everything will be fine sis." I heard Erik say to Devyn. I breathed in deep before entering Kasen's room. I'm bracing myself for the worst.
I did beat the guy once and almost a second time in the span of 24 hours...
"Kyle." He acknowledged.
"Kasen." I greeted him, sitting down in the chair next to him. "You wanted to talk to me?"
"I see the way you look at Devyn." He stated bluntly. I opened my mouth to rebuttal because as far as I see it, I don't look at her differently, but he held his hand up and stopped me. "And I know you don't see it yet either, but do her dying best man a favor... Don't leave her. Don't let her leave either. She's known for running when things get rough" He said continuing. I just stood in awe as he kept talking.
Did I really look at Devyn differently?
"She has a lot of trust issues ever since Kameron raped her, but she can trust you." Kasen's voice drew me back to reality. Did I hear him correctly?
"Wait, she was raped?!" I growled, fist clenched at my sides. If i ever get my hands on that bastard—
"Oh god, you didn't know... Fuck, can you pretend I didn't tell you that?" He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I just shook my head. He just sighed and laid his head down on his pillow. "Just promise you won't leave her." He said.
"I'm not leaving her now that I know that. I promise that much." I growled.
"Good." He said. His breathing slowed to a steady pace. I stood to get Devyn because i felt she should be the one in here, with him, but then all I heard was "Tell Devyn I love her and I'm sorry." I turned to look at him to see his eyes were shut and his heart monitor had a slowing of beeps until it hit a flat line. I heard the shuffling of feet and I turned to see Devyn standing in the doorway, her eyes glossed over. I had seen that look. I knew that look. Quickly, I took two long strides and made it to her. I wrapped my arms around her as she collapsed onto me. I picked her up bridal style and carried her limp body to the waiting area. Christina and Erik were gone. I got a text message right then. I carried Devyn to my car and put her in the front seat, buckling her in before I read it.
Erik: Hey. Chris and I decided to walk to get food and then we are going to Christina's. Stay with Devyn tonight please.
Erik: Oh and don't try anything with her.
I laughed and told him okay before getting into the driver seat and taking Devyn home. The whole way home I couldn't help but wonder if I really did look at Devyn differently than other girls. As I drove I stole glances at Devyn. Sure, she's not like the other girls: drooling over me, throwing themselves at me, but there is something about her that amazes me. With everything that happened in her life, she still finds a way to be happy.
When we finally got home I carried her up the stairs and put her in bed. I was about to walk away when I heard, "Kyle?" I turned and saw memorizing green eyes staring back at me. I walked back over to her and sat on the foot of her bed.
"Will... Will you stay in here tonight? I know it's my bed and all, but please don't sleep on the couch." She asked me unsure of how to ask.
"Of course." I replied as she scooted over and made room for me. As soon as I was beside her, she cuddled closer for warmth. She was freezing. Things got quiet and I was almost sure she was asleep when I heard, "Just so you know, I like the Kyle who has a heart more than the Bad-Boy Kyle who doesn't care." And then she was asleep. I'm not sure how long I stayed awake thinking, but I do know I fell asleep with three things on my mind:
1) Devyn.
2) How obvious it was that I looked at her differently.
3) The fact that for the first time since her, I might be falling in love.