I thought for what seemed like forever before I finally answered him. I wrestled between saying no because I didn't want to leave Kasen and Kaitlin and the other kids here but I also wanted to say yes because it would get me away from him. I ended up doing what i thought was best for me. "Yes. I will go with you." I told him. The way Erik's face lit up was amazing. He smiled like a kid getting candy; I think if we were closer, he would have hugged me.
"I'll help you get your things" Miss Donna said walking in. What was she doing? Eavesdropping?! This entire time??
"Okay." That was the only response I had. I don't think it had hit me yet that this was actually happening. I was leaving the one place I called home for so long.
After getting my small amount of stuff,—I didn't collect much in the decade i was here—I went downstairs to say goodbye to Miss Donna and the other foster kids.
I didn't get a chance to say anything. They all knew. All the kids swarmed me wrapping me in hugs all around; all but one. I said goodbye to the little ones telling them to never give up hope and that one day they will get out of here; just doing that alone brought tears to my eyes. I stood up and walked over to Kasen. His arms were folded over his chest and he was leaning against the wall, next to the front door.
"You're leaving me." He said not looking me in the eyes. Sometimes his brooding nature can get annoying.
"Kasen, I'll see you again. You're 17. You're turning 18 next month. You'll get out of here in a month." I told him, placing a hand on his folded arm. That contact alone made him relax slightly.
"By that time, you would have forgotten me, Devvy." His voice became shaky, calling me by our childhood nickname.
"Kase, look at me." And he did. I could see he was crying, silently though. "I won't forget you. You have been the best friend I never knew i needed. You lifted me up when I was sad. You've made me laugh. You made me feel happy after him. I will not forget you." He just looked at me for a minute then wrapped me in a big hug. I buried my face into shirt finally letting the tears fall. He was doing the same. I pulled away and looked at him one last time. I placed my hand on his cheek, wishing nothing more than to tell him how i really felt, but to do that would be to ruin everything. He placed his forehead on mine and sighed. Right as I was about to pull away, he did something unexpected. He placed his lips atop my own in a short but passionate kiss. Eve after we pulled away, I could still tell he didn't want to let me go. And honestly, I didn't want him to let me go either, but it had to be done. I needed to get out of here. He pulled away and hugged me again.
"Don't leave me Dev, please. I love you too much to see you go." He whispered to me.
"Kasen, I have to. You know if I don't leave, I won't get out for almost 2 more years." I begged.
"Yeah I know." He muttered.
"When you turn 18, come find me. Okay?" I told him.
"Okay. Stay safe until then. I am going to miss you." He whispered to me.
"I will. I am going to miss you too. Goodbye Kase."
"Goodbye Devvy." He said one last time.
I pulled away and walked over to a teary eyed Miss Donna. "Oh Devyn, I never thought I would see the day that you left." She cried.
"Me either." I said chuckling. "Isn't there some kind of paper work for this?" I asked her. She nodded but waved her hand nonchantly. I took that as something not to concern myself with.
"But, if leaving is what you want, I don't want to keep you from being happy." She said. She looked me over again before speaking. "Your mother would be so proud if she saw you now."
"You knew my mother?" I asked, jaw dropping slightly.
"I did. Very well actually. We were best friends growing up."
"Wow, so you're the woman in the picture I always kept with me of my mother?" I thought back to the picture, remembering I always kept it with me. Knowing now that she would be proud of me means I'll always have a piece of her wherever I go.
"Yes. That's me. I know you miss her. I do too." I took out the picture and looked at one last time.
"You look like her you know." I looked up at Miss Donna, shocked.
"I do?" I asked and she nodded her head. I fiddled with the picture one more time before extending it out to her. "Miss Donna, I want you to have it."
"Are you sure, dear?" She asked me, taking the picture from me.
"Yes. 100%" She grasped the picture in her hand and ran her hand over Mom's face. She looked up at me and wrapped me in a hug. She whispered in my ear, "Thank you so much dear. I love you so much."
"You're welcome. I love you too Miss Donna." I pulled away to wipe my tears.
"Goodbye Dev."
"Goodbye Miss Donna."
Finally we were ready to go. I turned around and smiled at Erik who had been patiently waiting while I said my goodbyes. I lived here for a whole 10 years. I had a lot of goodbyes to say.
===
We loaded the car with my small amount of possessions and hit the road. We had only been driving for about 2 hours when Erik decided to turn the radio off.
"Heey! I was listening to that!" I whined, pulling my sunglasses off my eyes and onto the top of my head.
"Sorry, but I figured we could talk for a little while." He stated, and as much as i hated the idea of that, his curiosity was allowed to roam a little.
"About?" I asked hesitantly.
"You: me: life when we get to Georgia. Stuff like that." He listed.
I guess that's not too bad.
"Oh okay, what do you want to know?" I said running my hands through my hair.
"Want to play 20 questions? That way i learn about you and you learn about me?" He asked me. That did sound fair.
"Umm sure." I agreed. "You first." I nominated him first since it was his idea.
"Okay, what's your favorite band?" He asked. Question number one; I will keep score.
"NeverShoutNever." I answered honestly.
"No way! Me too!" He basically screamed. I laughed at his excited nature.
"Oh wow! My turn. How many friends do you have back in Georgia?"
It took him a total of 15 seconds before responding "Umm four. How many did you have in Arizona?" Question two.
"Just two." I whispered looking down at my legs, suddenly aware of how much of a loner I really was.
"Just two? That's not so bad." He said. He glanced at me. "Wanna tell me their names?"
"It was Kasen and a girl named Kaitlin." I said.
"Kasen— Is that the boy who kissed you back at the foster home?" I acted like I didn't see it, but Erik started to grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.
"Yeah." I said, a smile gracing my lips as thought about him. "Just him and Kaitlin."
"Why?"
"I scare people." I said quietly, my hand going to the scar on my face.
"Devyn, trust me, nobody will be scared of you. I can promise you that you will find a great friend on the first day of school." He told me confidently.
How can he have so much confidence in his classmates when they've never met me before?
"Okay... I hope you're right." I said. I thought about my next question carefully. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"No, I haven't been in a solid committed relationship with a girl before." What? That was a shock. "What about you? Ever had a boyfriend?" He asked me, even though his knuckles showed that he probably didn't want the answer.
"Yeah; one." I said curtly.
"What was his name?" He questioned.
"Kameron." I said as one of the memories of him replayed involuntarily in my head.
"Devyn!" He boomed. I stayed hidden in the far back corner of the closet. I huddled closer to myself if that was even possible. I knew this routine all too well, but a part of me silently always hoped that it would turn out differently.
"Where are you?!" He bellowed. I heard his footsteps echo through the house. Doors flew open, broke off their hinges, and clattered to the ground causing me to flinch. His footsteps came closer and closer. With each stride, the stench of alcohol increased immensely along with my fear. I heard the bedroom door fly open. I whimpered in fear.
"Devyn Nicole! Come out now!" He said low as if he was actually going to be nice to me. Through the cracks in the closet, I could see that he was maybe five steps from the closet door. I held my breath and hoped he would give up. My luck failed.
One step towards me caused my heartbeat to spike.
Two steps caused my throat to go dry.
Three made me fear for my life more than ever.
Four made the unshed tears spill over.
Five made my hand fly to mouth to keep from screaming.
His hand on the doorknob and ripping it open made my brain go into overdrive and I screamed in terror.
"Found you. Game. Set. Match," He whispered as he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out of the closet. "Why did you hide from me, Kitten?" He asked rhetorically. I whimpered when he yanked my hair harder and threw me down on the floor. He crouched next to me and whispered, "I can tell you why. It's the same reason why you always hide from me,"
"Please... Don't do this," I pleaded. I was still hurting from the last time I was over. He stood up, and I literally could feel the anger burning through his eyes. I could see his blood pumping through his veins faster and faster with every breath. The vein in his next looked like it was going to pop off in any second.
He sent his first blow to my stomach. I screamed in agonizing pain when he kicked me. I rolled over onto my back and clutched my stomach.
"You're weak," He said. It wasn't a yell, he couldn't yell. Kaitlyn might come home and hear. It is times like these that I wish he'd slip up and yell right when Kait came home.
He placed his foot on my chest, dangerously close to where he kicked my stomach and put pressure down slowly to where it made me suffer. We were quiet as he basically had me where I could move the wrong way and snap my rib.
Right when I thought my rib was going to crack, he moved his foot. I took a huge breath of air and looked up at Kam. The anger had disappeared from his eyes and all that remained was remorse. He backed away from me like I was the one who had hit and kicked him. I forced myself to sit up and crawl over to him. He had himself against his bed on the floor, head in hands.
Ignoring the pain in my torso, I sat on my knees and tried to calm him down. This is how it always happened. When he was mad it was like he had no control over what he does. It isn't until after everything is said and done with that he realizes that he's hurt me, and I'm always the one to clean up the mess.
"Hey," I whispered to him moved his head from his hands. He flinched away from me.
"Y-You should be afraid of me," He said. He always says something along those lines.
"You didn't mean it. I know that," I told him as I wormed my way into his hold. This was the only thing that calmed him. He buried his head into my neck. He let out a broken sob as he apologized over and over. Once I felt okay to move, and I felt Kameron start to calm down, I helped Kameron onto his bed and laid down beside him. He laid his hand on my stomach and I hissed in pain. He immediately rested himself on his elbow and went to pull my shirt up. I went to stop him because not once has he ever wanted to see the damage, and I'm not so sure I am ready for to see it now.
"Please, Kitten," I let my guard down. He lifted my shirt and winced. "I am so sorry, Kitten. I didn't- I mean- I didn't mean to- I'm sorry," He whispered. He kissed my stomach where my skin was starting to yellow and bruise. He kissed my ribs where he had almost cracked them. He kissed a trail from where he hurt me up my neck until he met my lips.
"I love you, Kitten" he whispered. "I'm never going to let you go,"
"Devyn, Devyn? Anyone home?" Erik said drawing out of my memory. I blinked once, twice, three times before realizing I zoned out while in the car with Erik in the car.
"Oh hmm?" I asked.
"What happened?"
"Just got lost in thought I guess." I told him, hoping he didn't question me further on Kameron. "I'm sorry about zoning out."
"Oh okay." He said. "It's okay. You're probably tired. I zone out when I'm tired. Why don't you go to sleep? I'll wake you when I get ready to pull into a hotel for the night." I nodded in agreement. I laid back and let sleep overcome me.