[...]
Right in front of me is a door that I've been listlessly staring at for quite some time.
Yet, instead of going in, the only thing I can focus on is this feeling of dread.
Waves of unease come crashing in unrelentingly. They take turns as they emerge—one after the other—barely giving me enough room to breathe.
I gulp—worrying that if I let up for even a second, it'll turn into something too monstrous for me to handle. Not being able to do anything, but watch it helplessly as it towers over me—swallowing me whole—just like a tsunami.
My eyes waver as my view starts to shift from the floor—my gold pupils steadily move upward, only stopping as my line of sight reaches the door's center.
Beyond this entrance, I know without a doubt that I will be able to find the answer that I'm looking for.
I gulp as anxiety begins to gnaw at the pit of my stomach. Something feels off somehow, and I can't explain why.
The tips of my fingers slowly glide across the surface of the cold metal doorknob. I let out a nervous sigh as I wrap my digits around the decorative brass, conforming them to its shape.
I should hurry up and make a decision. Whether if it's to ease my worries—or if it's to get to the bottom of things. The point is—I'm here—and I'm right outside this bedroom door.
I suck in a sharp breath—but just as I'm about to twist the door's handle open, I hear muffled sounds from within.
My entire body freezes in place—causing my heart to plummet down into the pits of my stomach.
...
"No," I tell myself softly.
I frantically shake my head, hoping to rid myself of any more doubts.
At first, I wasn't sure if the door's locked, but to my surprise, the handle opens with no resistance.
As soon as I step inside the room, a burst of sickeningly sweet fragrance invades my senses.
It's a signature scent that belongs to one person—and one person only.
...
However, what I find at the end of that trail of nauseating perfume is not just one—but two figures that are huddling close to one another.
Sitting on top of the bed that I've slept in for the last four years, though, is someone who I happen to know—very, very well.
A face who've I've grown accustomed to seeing for thousands of years.
Her name is Alyrea.
She's supposedly one of my closest friends. After this stunt, she pulled, though? Not anymore, of course.
The crushing anxiety I had earlier has disappeared. Instead, my body's being overtaken by something else entirely. Deep-seated feelings of anger and extreme disgust bubble up from within me.
Despite being caught doing something unforgivable, no traces of guilt could be found in Alyrea's eyes—they're only filled with contempt.
Her bright turquoise orbs shine intensely, reflecting some of the rays of moonlight that's streaming through a glass window.
The usual innocent and carefree smile Alyrea always gives me every time we meet is gone. In its place is a devious, unapologetic smirk instead.
With great amusement, the haughty goddess giggles, and continues to talk to the near-silent god who's been beside her all this time, "Wow... you're right. She isn't doing anything, even when she caught us red-handed."
She drapes an arm around him and seductively runs the palm of her hand across his sculpted tan chest. Both of their faces are still damp as they continue to pant and catch their breath.
I glare at the shameless woman, who slowly pulls the blanket up to her collarbones, covering her decently-sized perky breasts.
I reply with a harsh tone, "I don't have much to say. This isn't the first time it's happened to me. You, of all people, should know that, Aly."
Without wasting another moment, I start to pack up whatever things I have lying around my boyfriend's—or should I say ex-boyfriend's place.
Zexos has been looking down the entire time and has yet to utter a single word—not that it would have changed anything even if he has.
Unfortunately, just as I'm about to reach the exit, I hear Zexos clear his throat. The stern sound stops me in my tracks.
It's only been a few seconds, but somehow, it felt like it's already been forever and a day until he finally speaks up, "... Khirelle, can we just talk for one last time? I swear on my divinity, and upon the almighty Zeus, that I will not bother you again."
Desperation colors his voice, while urgency—seemingly a close second.
I cringe inwardly. He doesn't wait for an answer from me, but, continues regardless. Zexos confronts me with his low and gravelly voice, "Khirelle... did you ever really love me?"
Really? Are you serious right now...?
This appalling and nauseating question is compelling me to turn around and face him instead.
Inwardly though, I wince.
I'm feeling very torn, as I already know where this is heading. And yet—I can't seem to stop myself and walk outside this door that's well within an arm's reach.
Damn me and my preference for closure.
"Tch," my tongue clicks in annoyance as I finally decide to turn around to face him once again.
My lips stretch to a thin line as I do my best to remain as patient as possible.
How dare he asks me if I've ever loved him!
Not only is he insecure, but he's also blaming me, too, huh?! Wow! Just how selfish is he? In the end, it's always about them.
Well, that's too bad, Zexos. I refuse to humor you when you're the one who's in the wrong.
"...Khirelle. Answer me," the persistent bastard urges me once again.
An answer, huh? So, he wants me to answer his ridiculous question?!
... No, wait.
If I answer him, there's a good chance that I'll lose control of my emotions. I can't afford to let myself go off the deep end here. I'm afraid of accidentally doing something I'll only regret later on.
Is it worth risking it to answer this asshole's stupid question?
Of course, it isn't.
Whatever. This is not worth it. Let him get angry. I'd instead not end this encounter with a bloody rampage of sorts just because I couldn't keep my anger in check.
Just as I'm about to solidify my resolve to leave, his voice cracks, "... Can't you at least lie, or something? I guess you can't even be bothered to be considerate towards your boyfriend, eh?"
Scoffing, I correct him, "... You mean EX-boyfriend, for obvious reasons."
He ignores me—while continuing to whine and paint himself the victim, "What was I expecting anyway? You couldn't have cared less about me."
"Not once have you ever depended on me, ever," he states while looking considerably hysterical—as if he's about to break down anytime now.
"I should've known. My friends already warned me about this, but noooooo...! Of course, I didn't listen to them!" Zexos gets up from the bed and starts to walk towards me. He's as stark naked as the day he was born.
I try to keep my striking gold pupils glued to his face.
Even if I've seen 'it' more times than I could count, I still wanted to avoid looking at that very something that's been dangling quite freely between his legs. It swings back and forth, each time he takes another step.
It comes with the territory of being buck naked, after all.
Shaking my head, I am in utter disbelief at the blatant lack of respect this person has for me.
He closes the distance between us as his eyes seek mine. They look as if they're filled with so much hurt and broken expectations. Zexos tries to take my hand in his, but I slap it away.
He sighs and says, "Khirelle, I'm sorry I cheated on you, but I mean—"
"Look at how you're reacting right now. Do you understand why I did it, huh?! Do you?!" Zexos starts raising his voice out of nowhere.
As his emotions continue to run high, he finally breaks down and screams, "It's all YOUR FAULT! You MADE me do this! You pushed me into doing this! It's why I felt like I had no other choice but to look for validation ELSEWHERE! Nothing's ever good enough for you! I'll NEVER be good enough for you. So I got it from someone who I know for a fact needs me in their life! A gorgeous, understanding woman who I can stand next to as my equal!" With his hands clenched into a fist, Zexos belts out the last sentence and is now breathless.
Hah? What's with this nonsensical tirade of explanations for his behavior? Is he for real right now?
All this shouting is starting to get to me, though, so I close my eyes. The corners sting as tears begin to form.
In an attempt to keep calm, I heave out yet another sigh while squeezing the bridge of my nose between my two fingers.
So... I guess he has decided that now is a good time as any to start yelling at me and play the blame game when he doesn't even have the right to.
But...
... Why does it always end up this way?
Why do they always blame me for their shortcomings?
As I look back at him with fiery intensity, the self-proclaimed victim flinches when I start telling him off, "Zexos, you have a lot of nerve blaming me when you're the one who failed to keep it in your pants."
He defensively retorts, "Look... Sure, whatever. I've no excuse when it comes to that. I'll accept it."
With no signs of letting up, he continues to state his case with conviction, "Didn't I already admit it earlier? That part's my bad, but the majority of the fault lies with you! How could you not see that?! Have you not learned ANYTHING at all from all your previous relationships?!"
I roll my eyes and cross my arms in a defensive stance.
... MY bad?
'My bad' doesn't even begin to cover it!
I'd be lying if I said I had zero faults. I have my share of shortcomings too, but still...
I don't deserve any of this! NONE OF IT!
I make one last attempt to communicate and explain myself, "Alright. Let me ask you this: Why didn't you tell me about all this before it was too late?"
After a long enough pause, I continue, "I've always told you to let me know if there's ever anything wrong. I know I'm pretty perceptive, but I'm still no mind reader, you know?"
"Why did you cheat on me? Why didn't you tell me that you've been struggling this much? Why didn't you break up with me first, instead of doing it this way?" I bombard him with so many questions, overwhelming him to a point where it could make anyone's head spin.
After some rustling of fabric, a loud thud near the bed breaks my focus.
It is then followed by a series of heavy and hurried steps, as they are bound straight for me.
The sound of a sharp, earsplitting slap reverberates inside the room.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! OWW!" Shrieking, Alyrea frantically blows air all over her hand as she shakes it gently every once in a while to ease the pain. "Your face is like concrete!"
In what world does she think that it's okay to slap me in this situation? It serves her right, though. I continue to stare at her blankly, which makes her uncomfortable.
I'd love to slap her back, but I might end up breaking her neck.
Although I could easily do so, I couldn't bring myself to doing that to someone who poses absolutely no threat to me.
It'd still hurt like hell for Aly, even if it didn't kill her.
What they don't know is that, contrary to my stoic and uncaring outside demeanor, I'm quite unstable at the moment. I don't want to do anything I'll regret.
Of course, I'm upset. I'm not made of rock—or a being who's immune to emotions. Yes, even if I happen to be terrible at being expressive and vocal.
I'm just like anyone else—right now, I'm devastated. Who in their right mind wouldn't be?!
One of my closest friends is sleeping with my ex-boyfriend. Not only was that a big enough blow to the gut, but they're also even blaming me for everything AND mocking me.
Except, it's not like this is the first time I've been betrayed in some of my relationships. It's happened often enough, that it no longer fazes me as it used to.
I remember those times where I either cried, begged, or even groveled.
Perhaps, once upon a time—but never again—not anymore.
...
With a disinterested look on my face, I'm no longer interested in being around these two, so I curtly ask, "Are you both quite done yet? I'm leaving. I owe both of you absolutely nothing."
"Hmph! That's right! Leave and stop bullying my poor Zeze." Aly coos as she checks him for any injuries I might have inflicted on him while she wasn't looking.
I blurt out with a tinge of sarcasm in my well-wishes for the newly formed couple, "Goodbye, Aly... and Zexos. Have a very wonderful and fulfilling life together."
After that parting shot, I exit the room without a second glance.