[Your title He Who Shaw Not Be Named, has changed into Sante Superbia]
"Done!" Aki proclaimed, breaking the door of the of the wagon by leaving a hand imprint on it. He was also so loud that everyone on the camp turned to look at the newly anointed saint, including the monsters currently attacking. In doing so, all of them froze.
His face, smile, hair, there was no outward difference, but all present could sense it was probably not true. He emanated a dark, sickening and hard to describe energy, while at the same time, his visage ordered respect. "Oh, right, that. Keep killing the monsters while I suppress it again." He said, closing and repairing the door.
Some more time later.
"Did it work now?" Aki asked, and though he still emited power, it was certainly much easier to handle.
"What was all that?" Asked a worried Brandon while holding his shield against a panicking Mari.
"Rejoice, your boss has been chosen for a divine quest." He theatrically answered before sighing. "Seriously though, I can't talk much about what just happened. It's not something pretty, a burden really, but I prayed feverishly like grandpa taught me and the God of justice said he'd help me deal with the thing that is so dangerous I can't actually say it's name to anyone. So hey, now I'm an apprentice priest, Yay free class... Yeah, no mood for jokes, sorry. I'll try to answer questions, but please understand that I actually can't do much here." Aki apologized and passed through the interrogation.
Later
"Was anything you said to them true?" Asked Xera.
"Some things. I can't actually take the fell power that I got from the sin skill, meaning I'm under a geas not to take a specific job and I sure as fuck won't be turning into a mindless monster, Pride actually grants resistance against that. By the way, the part about not talking about it is a lie, but it gives an aura of mystery that does good for my image as guardian. Which brings us to what Mari wants to ask, yes, I talked to Pelhor or whatever your God of light and law is named, that easy, I could easily contest for the position of his pope if he gave me permission." Aki waved his hand with disinterest before hugging the cat kin closer to him
"Wait, you don't even know his name? Then how the fuck did you even pray to him?!" Asked the confused normie. This was not what talking to the gods was supposed to be like.
"I prayed for whoever had the domain over both concepts, and he was curious enough to summon me to his realm. The blondie was quite cute, had a dependable aura and a strict face, but ultimately he was quite easy do deal with since I do actually intend to cooperate. By the way, if it helps your little and gorgeous head understand, my first prayer got me to level... 5, in the skill. Plus level 8 on priesthood since I had the God in question describe to me what duties I'd have and am currently doing his bidding by just sealing the sin skill." Aki told her, basically short circuiting Mari after she'd had her forehead flicked. He then turned to Xera and got some supplies from storage. "Wanna try drawing on her face?" She quickly agreed. Neither would have trouble eating the paint away even if they'd not painted her with consumables.
*****
"You sure this is fine?" Asked Sara as she looked at the semi-naked sculpture of Ark at the entrace of the elemental dungeon, covered only by a thin toga, barely covering his waist and part of the detailed work on the muscled middrif, giving her a blush as how well defined the muscles were, while the fluidity in it's movements made her think the ten meter tall stone giant could just decide to set down the book it held on a hand and get up at any moment, not needing to take the stone blindfold off to know and judge all of her.
Luckily their employer hadn't been bold enough to esculpt the third member on it's waist.
Brandon was about to answer when suddenly Aki screamed something in a language she didn't know and laughed as rays of light coated and blessed the Statue. Because there was no other name to call what happened in front of her eyes, even the power behind it was clearly divine.
"And that imediatly gets me a hundred levels, ha!" Bellowed Aki, looking very smug over his creation.
It'd actually been molded by earth magic, but he'd used earth magic to make sure the stone was perfectly smooth, then space magic to make it harder to move and damage, then time magic to make it more resistant to time itself, getting him a level in each skill, eight in sculpting, and three in holy magic because his gift was quite liked.
It would apparently also allow Ark to properly send his clergymen over to take over the dungeon and start a small post they'd be able to use. By then Aki would have already finished his wall and reached the next.
"Okay, Priest is next, so i just need to pray while i kill mobs and donate the loot to the church, and paladin should get extra XP if i kill stuff with holy smites plus making sure no companion of mine is hurt even if i'm being extra reckless. Saint will need some people skills though, so maybe i should go visit all orphanages around and give them lots of meat, a reform, help with making fortifications and..." He murmured, scaring all listening "I just need to grow back several limbs then!" He exclaimed, his hatred and loathing for the jobs he took really not allowing him to remain at the same pace as before. Mari imediatly tackled the man trying to cut his left arm off.
A lot of scolding later.
"What am i supposed to... You know what? You're right, i'm trying too much, the wall will end after i get over this job and i just really want to be done with it. I'll try to develop my buffing skills and not fight while here, maybe finally read something?" He growled, his fiance sighing while Xera patted her shoulder. She also didn't like him hurting himself, but it was indeed a efficient training method.
Turns out, however, that most philosophers in this planet didn't know how to properly say things, scholars ussed too many terms and too little examples of utility, Aki still hated poetry, most of the good songs around were only really good if you had either a ton of context or a singer that had a ridiculous skill level, and that, ironically enough, teather around here was actually so good even he could like them, if the play he read was anything to go by.
"Ok, that's it, Xera, throw me a spear, i have no books and even less patience to keep playing frail backliner, i'ma just gonna train several weapons till i can finally get rid of this job." Aki said, three days later, having spent the last one writting letters to whoever had written stupidity on the books he read, countaining several gramatical, phonetic and even some inconsistences on the theory, mentioning several sentences from famous earth authors and thinkers.
Most of the content could actually be summed up though. 'If you base your whole thesis on the fact you have only ever seen red birds in a species, it will only need one instance of mistake to completly crush it, baka!'
One problem from this world was that aparently a lot of intelectuals were unable to put their words into proper sentences so other people would understand it, making their findings and thoughts as easy to understand as latim to a five year's old japanese boy. On the other hand, those who could actually write something themselves were hailed geniuses, since even other people could actually understand or even just phrase whatever they wanted to say.
This kind of problem, however, led to Aki reaching level 3 in five diferent weapons before he got to level 100 again, which took another week. Some expletives later, he entered the job change room and took on paladin, which got him a level in holy magic and each weapon mastery but dagger technique, bringing him to six level 4 weapons on his repertoire.
Which ended up leading to a complete massacre of everything in the dungeon as Aki bassicaly turned everything into mana while blinding, burning and terrifying all the monsters on the way. The whole extreme jihadist act did bring him to level one hundred, though it was hard to say if spouting that he worked in the name of the gods durring the whole process made him get more or less XP, because he basicaly soloed the whole place in two days after taking on paladin.
When his lovers asked him why he was in such a hurry and so cranky, he quickly said.
"It just nails the fact I'm working under GODS, and for a firm aphatheist with bad experiences against churches, it really doesn't sit well on me. Though I guess I should be grateful I was baptised since otherwise I would not be able to get the jobs and just straight up be fucked." He sighed and went back to burning fire elementals by attacking their mana reserves while pummeling them with a giant hammer. Who cares if they're basically flame authronauchs but less demonic and sexier? He didn't.
And yet, somehow, he still smiled at the worried women and told them they were definitely going to pay him back. By being by his side while he did stupid shit, giving him kisses and encouragement, and just being there to have fun with him.
*****
"So you're saying you're going to do samaritan work for the next half a month? Isn't that a bit extreme?" Pointed out Sieg, again being the idiot that voiced everyone else's concerns.
"I mean, it's just going to be a day per village and there are thirteen of them around here. It can't be too hard? As I said, I'm almost A-rank, no way these people have a job I can't do with all the versatility I got. I just got to have some classes on religious stuff. I made sure to space out whenever my parents talked about it, so it'd be embarrassing to do something like this without even knowing much about what I'm preaching. Might take even more time than the actual quest since I will probably go through three or so temples." He said, completly confident he was going to hate every second of the study. Even dealing with villagers was better.
One thing that cemented this notion, was the fact there was a bunch of people in white and gold right by the gate.
"Am I to assume I am to report imediatly to the temple of the Fair Ark?" Aki asked directly to the old man with the biggest hat around.
"That would be so. The bishop was informed to expect you and your party, treat you as guests while you pass the purification ritual and a session of studies on the level of a saint." The old cardinal explained, completly expressionless.
"And I wanted to see how people would react to our sales." He sighed before throwing a magical item to Xera. "Take photos for me, okay?" Aki was already going down from his seat and greeting the group of man in front of him, who were quite quick about getting him inside the temple and bathing in holy water, which yes, was very much a low Ph acid for him.
Aki was not curious enough to drink it on his own, but when the old man watching him bath told him to do so, he found out it simply tasted like wine, which greatly confused him. By the way, no, he was not naked but using a scerimonial short and toga, and there was no celibate around, only a couple of extreme gods enforced that to clergyman.
"Like wine your say, your priesthood skill must be quite high." He commented while brushing up his beard. "After you dry yourself, the bishop will be waiting for you in the next room, where she will personally teach you a high ranking member's routine."
Aki felt that although he might not be sexually harassed, he somehow still had a high chance of having his ass eaten.