I had been avoiding Neil for the last month except for some in passing and quit talking to the other Nephilium besides in class. I didn't trust any of them. There was a feast coming
up and I knew he wanted me to attend at his side.
We were done with classes for the day and all I wanted to do was go take a nice bath and go to bed.
"Eve," said Neil finally said grabbing my left wrist making me flinch.
I looked at him.
"Can we talk?"
I nodded and he let go and my hand dropped to my side. My whole body felt chilled as I followed to him to the fountain in the middle of the two dorms. He patted a spot next to him on the bench and I sat down next to him awkwardly.
"Have you grown bored of me?" he whispered. "You've been avoiding me for at least a month."
I couldn't bring myself to look at him. His voice hurt me, but I didn't know who to trust after that horrific event.
"Eve?" he asked.
"I…"
"Don't think it has went unnoticed that your constantly with Renn. If you want to be with him-"
I felt my cheeks redden and my face heat. How dare he think I was moving on with Alistor.
"I don't have feelings for him like that," I said icily. "I'm not bored of you, Neil. I just…"
"I realize you never probably loved me either," he said his voice full of sadness.
I saw from the corner of my eye him tilt his head ever so gently to look up at the full moon his face tightened up trying to hold back his true emotions. His words hit me hard and I realized he was right- I liked him but I saw him more as a friend, not as a romantic partner.
"Neil, I wanted to love you… I just- this…" I said gesturing at the castle grounds. "This is what I want. What I've always wanted and I don't have any intentions of ever hanging up my shield. You deserve a woman that knows how to manage your land while your away and have a family with."
I saw a small smile cross his mouth guarded still by his hurt. I touched his hand gently.
"I still want you as my friend," I whispered. "Can we be that at least?"
He looked down at where my hand was and nodded. "Aye. Friends…"
The knot in my chest was loosening and the chill was leaving my body, but this was really deflecting away from the true reason I needed space and I felt bad for that. Was it possible someone as gentle as Neil was a Keltcher that was so corrupt?
"There is something else we need to talk about," he whispered his eyes darting around scanning the shadows.
It put me on edge.
"And what is that?"
"I tried telling you a month ago…"
"Aye?" I asked wanting him to spit it out.
I folded my arms involuntarily across my body feeling my body again become chilled.
"I just…" he said sucking in a breath before leaning in so his lips were mere inches from ear. "Our meeting place has already moved so if you speak out a word of what happened a month ago, we will know."
My heart hammered in my chest as I looked up at him awe struck. If he knew that it happened a month ago why was he surprised I was avoiding him? He just admitted what I had already been forming in the back of my brain. He knew. He was one of them. Was he really that dense that he thought I had grown away from him for any other reason?
"I know this is why you have been avoiding me," he whispered in my ear, "but the other is a better cover up excuse. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."
"How are you one of them?" I asked anger boiling in moments. "How?"
"I… I had no choice. Much like Adam's parents I was forced… I'm sorry, Eve-"
"Monster," I spat.
He recoiled from me as I stormed off away from him my head racing and my heart pounding. Deep down I knew when he glanced at my arm over a month ago that he was one of them. The world around me blurred together as I raced to my room.