August 10 12:52am
hi. Well, I knew Chris was too good to last. He broke up with me at around 1 o'clock on Monday night (Tuesday morning Aug, 8) We went out for 2 months and 2 weeks. I totally cried forever yesterday.
But the good thing is that he called me today. Of course, I called him first. Okay! Sorry, I wimped out but I couldn't stand it any longer.
It was really weird talking to him though. Like I still totally love him eh, so ya, I know he mustn't love me or he would not have dumped me. But he said it was cause he didn't want to be tied down right now but I think that was just an excuse to get out of our relationship.
Maybe I fucked it up somehow, maybe I am too needy or clingy or whatever, ok maybe I suck at being a girlfriend, I don't fucking know.
But he asked me to call him tomorrow if I wanted.
Great, now it's gonna seem like I'm stalking him or something. He had to add that "if you want to" bullshit.
But I said I would and he said okay cool, so I don't know. Maybe he just needs some space or time to think over these things. Or maybe he can't stand me cause I was a major bitch to him sometimes. But he was rude to me sometimes, especially in front of his friends which is just not cool. Why are guys retarded?
I think it's good that we not see each other for a while even though I'm going through hell. That's why I needed to talk to him just a little bit today.
Maybe if I keep calling him occasionally and just act like friends, maybe the sparks might return.
Bye.