Chapter 22: Snape's Son
Severus entered the Headmistress' office, his fate pressing him once again. Minerva was at her desk, hands crossed in front of her, awaiting his explanation. He contemplated the armchairs facing the Headmistress' desk, but decided he wouldn't even need to take a seat, for what he had to say wouldn't take long. Severus fixed his eyes on the stern witch.
"Nathan Granger is my son." Severus registered the shock on Minerva's face, but had decided not to be affected by the witch's reactions. "He only recently found out and he doesn't seem very happy with the fact, as you could see by his little display in the Great Hall."
"Hermione's son?" Minerva rationalized, still shocked with what he'd thrown at her, although now she frowned so intensely that her eyebrows met. "It was you!"
"If by that you're saying it was me who impregnated her, it was just what I told you, Minerva. The boy is my son. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have some things to do before the day is over."
Severus turned to leave the office, but Minerva's voice was firm, "Severus Snape, don't you dare leave this office without explaining yourself properly!"
He turned to face her again. "I have nothing to explain. All you need to know, you now know. I'll try to keep our shows of affection in private in the future, so as not to disturb the school routine."
"Oh no, you're not getting out of it like this! Severus, she was a girl! How could you… She was your student from the time she was eleven, for Merlin's sake! A student!"
Minerva was obviously disgusted with the idea, and he could totally agree with her. If the woman knew what the circumstances were, she would be horrified. Severus didn't want to stay there, arguing with Minerva about raping a former student.
"Not the most horrifying thing I've done in my life," he countered and couldn't stop glancing in the direction of Dumbledore's portrait. "Now, if you don't mind Minerva, there is nothing else that concerns you on this matter other than the unacceptable behavior of the boy. I've already told you I'll try to keep this from happening again." He turned to leave one more time.
"I can't believe you," Minerva said to his back. "You were not even decent enough to recognize the child as yours. You left her to take care of him on her own. A child taking care of another, Severus. Alone!"
He turned to face her at that. "Don't talk about what you don't know, Minerva. It was hardly my fault what that crazy woman decided to do!"
"And now you're blaming her? So typical of you, Severus!" Minerva spat back at his accusation of her star pupil.
Severus had heard enough. He walked back the length he'd crossed on his way to the door and was again in front of the Headmistress' long, solid wooden table. "You think all your Gryffindors are little angels, don't you? They are incapable of making mistakes, either, aren't they? Well, I'll give you some stark news, Minerva. She chose to raise that child alone, not me! She was foolish to hide him from me all this time and then decide it was a good idea to let the boy know! She, your precious know-it-all Gryffindor, Minerva, not me!"
The shock on her face was so foreign this time that some of Severus' rage was abated and turned into a sick smugness. He smirked at the wordless witch. "I don't think you were prepared to hear that your lovely Hermione Granger is not the perfect woman you all think her to be."
"You didn't know?" Minerva asked, still dazed with the revelations.
Severus' smirk dissolved. "No, I didn't, and now it's too late for anything, isn't it?"
Minerva seemed lost in thought, eyes focused on a point of the table. She finally looked back at him. "She told you when she was here after you found him in the forest."
"No, Minerva. Erase the image you have of that supposedly responsible and strictly correct girl from your mind. She never told me, and I don't think she would have anytime soon." And before she could say anything, he added, "I found out on my own."
"During detentions." Minerva nodded to herself. "That was why you wanted to get them to be supervised by another teacher." She was back to studying him again. "You were denying him," she accused.
"I won't discuss my actions with you, Minerva. What I do regarding the boy is my decision only," was all he said to that. Severus was not stopped by the Headmistress on his way to the door this time, but by someone else.
"Severus," called a voice from the wall.
Severus closed his eyes, his back to Minerva and the portraits.
"What has Nathan decided?" Albus asked softly.
Not turning to face them, Severus said, "Minerva can answer that." He continued on his way out of the office and was gone in a flare of robes.
Nathan slept poorly another night. This was becoming a constant since he had found out Snape was his father, and it was tiring him. What he had thrown in the man's face the day before was well deserved, he was certain of that, so why wasn't he feeling good after such revenge? Why did every word of praise and every tap on his shoulder make him feel this odd sensation in his chest? Why was every word of Professor Lupin's sermon the night before weighing on him, making him feel… guilty? Whatever the reason, it was bothering him.
When Nathan entered the Great Hall for breakfast, many eyes turned his way. He was expecting that. His friends were patting him on the shoulder again, supporting his triumphant entry after saying what many had dreamed of saying to the Potions master but had never got the nerve. His chest went tight when he realized even some Slytherins were watching him with respect, and went tighter yet when he found his father observing him from the Head Table.
Averting his eyes quickly while being dragged along by his friends, Nathan was thankful when the subject left his enraged attack on the feared professor to go to more mundane matters. He could delight himself in a carved out moment of anonymity to try to calm the feelings that were invading him since he'd met his father's unwavering eyes. He was so concentrated in not taking his own eyes from his plate that not even the flapping owls bringing the mail broke his concentration. But being invisible was rather impossible with someone calling his name.
"What is it?" he finally asked Andy after being called for the third time.
"You're in the Daily Prophet," Andy said, not taking his eyes off the newspaper.
"Am I?" That was totally unexpected. "Why?"
Andy didn't answer.
Nathan insisted, "Why am I in the Daily Prophet?"
Nothing. Andy just stared at the parchment in him hands, frowning, seeming stunned.
"Let me see this!" Kevin said, grasping the Prophet from Andy's numb hands.
"What is it? What does it say?" Nathan inquired once more. He looked around and saw that others reading the paper were looking at him, and he didn't like the way they were doing so, he didn't like it at all!
When he was about to take the newspaper from Kevin's hands, the boy said, "You're Snape's son?" His friend was frowning much like Andy had been, only now, Nathan knew why.
"What?!" Nathan shrieked and took the offending parchment from Kevin. He couldn't believe it! There it was, on front page, for everyone to see!
Father of War Hero's Hidden Son Revealed.
Since the beginning of the school year, much has been said about war hero Hermione Granger's heir, Hogwarts' first-year Nathan Granger, and the connection of his birth to her departure from the wizarding world. It was speculated that the young boy was the offspring of an old childhood love of the Muggle-born witch, thus her choice to raise him among Muggles, or even that he could be an illegitimate son of none other than Harry Potter. However, it has been uncovered and confirmed by a trustworthy source that the father of this poor boy is known murderer of the great Albus Dumbledore, ex-Death Eater, Professor Severus Snape.
This revealing news brings the whole mystery into a new light, and other possibilities as to why the brilliant witch left the wizarding world so many years ago arise. Shame? Fear? The secrecy of her son's paternity, which, according to the same source, was kept for all these years even from her closest friends, seems to lead strongly to the veracity of these suppositions…
Nathan didn't need nor want to read more. All he needed to know was there, and the enormity of it was apparent in all those eyes on him. What would he do now? He searched for his father's eyes, and found them on him like so many others.
A voice got to him above the rising hubbub in the Great Hall.
"The Prophet is wrong, isn't it?" There was undisguised hope in the way Kevin asked him that. "Snape is not your father. You told us your father was someone else," he added dismissively.
Andy only stared at him, measuring, but his stare held pressure enough to make Nathan admit, with his silence, the truth the news brought.
Kevin seemed to be waiting for an answer, though. "Nathan…"
"I-" Nathan glanced once more to the man at the Head Table then back to his plate. "He is," he finally admitted for the few that could hear it.
The moment was really awkward. What will they say? Nathan didn't know… Maybe awkward wasn't really making justice to the moment. It was oppressing. It felt like the Great Hall was going to close around him.
"Snape?" Kevin asked again.
Nathan looked up. He tried another glance to the Head Table, but this time didn't find who he was looking for. Nathan stood.
"Yes, Snape!" he spat and turned, walking to the door, his steps growing in speed with the volume of the voices in the Great Hall.
He crossed the threshold, walked a few steps to the left and leant against the stone wall, closing his eyes. Nathan wanted to make his heart stop beating so fast. He exhaled heavily. Everybody knew who his father was, that Snape was his father.
Nathan threw his head back to hit the wall a few times, only then did he open his eyes again. His father was across the hall, on the top of the stairs that led to the dungeons, looking intently at him. He stared back until the man turned and went down the stairs.
"Come in," Hermione called the person knocking at her office's door. She didn't even lift her head to see who was entering, since she was expecting William. "I'm just finishing this," she added, scribbling frantically in a notebook, having her free hand up to emphasize her need for some time to finish the note she was taking.
"Nice office for a Muggle institution."
Hermione froze on hearing that voice.
"Though, I would never believe someone who would tell me Hermione Granger had exchanged the glories of being a war-hero for the simplicity of this Muggle life, if I hadn't have seen it with my own eyes," the unexpected visitor added.
Hermione was torn between being surprised, angry and curious. What would that woman be doing here? "Those left in the wizarding world aren't enough to satisfy your hunger for degradation and humiliation? Aren't they good material for your sick creativity? What do you want here?"
"A reporter goes where the news is," the woman said, clearly enjoying Hermione's distress. "I thought you might want to concede me an exclusive."
"Have you lost your mind?" Hermione asked, outraged with the woman's blatant cynicism. "I'll never concede an interview to you, Skeeter! I don't even know how you found me. You're definitely not welcome here."
"Your record was updated with the Ministry of Magic when your son started at Hogwarts, as I'm sure you know," Rita told her conversationally while scanning the room. "By the way, my readers would love to know more about him. We should do a joint interview with you both."
Hermione narrowed her eyes at that, rising from her seat and reaching for her wand just when William arrived. With a Muggle in the room, Hermione would have to swallow the hex intended for Skeeter.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company," William apologized. "You can look for me in my office when you're free. Excuse me."
He was turning to leave when Hermione, eyes never leaving Skeeter, hurriedly said, "There is no need for that, Professor Brice. She was taking her leave."
Rita made little of Hermione's glare and turned her attention to William, measuring him up in appraisal. "I see you're busy," she told Hermione still looking at William. She took some rolled parchments from her purse and offered them to Hermione. "You know where to find me if you change your mind. I hope to see you and that lovely boy of yours soon."
Hermione took the offered parchments just to make her go away faster. She watched the reporter exit the room after another speculative examination of William. Hermione wished she could hex the woman and tell her not to even try to get to Nathan, but she couldn't do that without having to Obliviate William next.
"Who was that woman?" he asked as soon as they were alone in her office.
"Only someone I would rather not have seen today," she dismissed his question. She was obviously still affected by Skeeter's visit, and William's presence, although welcomed to help her get rid of the intruder moments ago, was now restraining her need to curse the woman or even hex something.
"Are you all right, Hermione?"
She sighed. "I'll be fine, Will. There is no need to worry." Hermione forced a smile to reassure him. "You can go ahead and start the discussion with Miss Jensen. I'll join you in a few." She tried the smile again.
William looked at her for a short while before nodding and reluctantly leaving her office. For that, Hermione was grateful. She needed some time to calm herself properly and also understand why that bug came to see her. Hermione wasn't about to be fooled by that interview request. No, even Skeeter knew Hermione wouldn't be granting her with any interview, never. What did she want, then? Threaten me through Nathan?
That was when Hermione remembered the bunch of parchments she was crushing. She quickly flattened the newspaper and, when the front-page news hit her, Hermione gasped, feeling helpless and hurt for Nathan and even more enraged with Skeeter. She reread the printed news of her most guarded secret, and although tears escaped her eyes in sadness, Hermione profaned the low woman and her trustworthy source.
More tears spilled from her eyes, but she wiped at them angrily. It is not the time for this, Hermione! she admonished herself. She had to be whole to fix what that woman had done. It was highly frustrating to see everything she'd planned ruined with only a few printed words. This wouldn't be such a disaster if Nathan and Severus had grown closer already, but at this moment, when so much was yet to be sorted out…
She sat by her desk and stared at it. There was nothing she could do now, this last blow to her plans was definitely final. Hermione was trying to gauge the extent of the consequences. No, she didn't care for her reputation, for what people would say about her. Hermione was worried this would make Severus withdraw from them, that it would turn Nathan into a target for gossips he would not be ready to deal with, or worse yet, of labels he wouldn't want to fight off. Having Nathan agree he was the son of a murderer would never do!
Hermione nervously contemplated her next move. Her wait was definitely over, she begrudgingly acknowledged. If the time she'd given them hadn't been enough for them to grow close, to accept their parts in each other's lives in a natural way, she would have to make them do it now regardless. Hermione would make this family work for Nathan's sake, she would bring those two together, she would make her friends accept the facts, and they won't need to dread gossips, ill-intended news, or anything of the sort ever again.
With that in mind, Hermione cleaned her face from the last tears and walked out of her office to meet William. She would visit Harry later in the day and would have everything settled for when she got to Hogwarts tomorrow. No caution needed now that everything was in the open, she was on the offensive and would bring things to their proper place, or her name wasn't Hermione Granger.
"Lily, it's my turn to tip the owl!" Sirius Potter whined, annoyed with his older sister. "Dad!"
"Lily, you know Thursdays are Sirius' turn to get the newspaper," Harry admonished.
"The owl is getting upset, Dad. He's taking too long to tip it," the girl defended herself.
"Sirius, give the coins to the owl," Harry said.
"Yes, Dad," the boy agreed dispirited, petting the annoyed owl a couple of times more before paying for the day's issue of the Daily Prophet.
Harry took the rolled newspaper while Dobby poured him some coffee.
"You can help me feed the owls later, but only if you eat the fruit," Ginny told her son, who seemed to cheer up enough to oblige.
The Potter's breakfast progressed as usual until Harry exclaimed, "Holy crap!"
Sirius giggled at his father's swearing.
"Harry…" Ginny cautioned her husband before he would say something worse.
When Harry folded the Prophet and made to throw it across the room, Ginny grew worried. He kept the newspaper, but swore again, "Damn!"
Sirius giggled again.
"What's wrong, Harry?" his wife asked.
"Nosy witch who can't see happiness… Why can't they leave people alone for a change?" Harry pushed his plate away, too annoyed to eat.
"What did Skeeter do?" Ginny knew the beetle too well after so many years on the social spot not to know that what was upsetting her husband was her doing.
Harry sighed.
"Are you in the newspaper again, Dad?" Lily asked.
"Not really, Lily. Don't worry and eat your breakfast," he told his daughter before leaving the table for the house library, taking the offending parchment with him.
Ginny sighed. "Dobby, prepare some toast and a cup of coffee on a tray for me, please."
"Yes, Dobby do, Mistress."
"Mum, why Dad won't eat at the table? I want to eat in the library, too," Sirius protested.
"When you grow up, but for now you eat at the table."
Dobby popped into the room with the tray she'd asked for.
"Thank you, Dobby. Keep an eye on the children, please." She took the tray and left for the library. She entered the room without announcing her intrusion and placed the tray on a corner of a desk. Ginny then approached her husband, reaching out a hand to his shoulder while he stared out the window. "What's wrong, Harry?"
Ginny accepted the newspaper he was offering her. Upon scanning the front page, she understood his reactions and was astounded herself. "So it was Snape!"
Harry didn't react to her exclamation. Ginny looked at him more closely.
"You're not thinking of confronting Snape about this, are you? Because it's not your business, Harry. Don't do anything without talking to-"
"Hermione, I know," he completed, annoyed and feeling guilty with his wife's first impulse to remind him not to interfere after reading the news.
"I'm just saying this because I know how you feel about Snape. Nathan is very dear to us, and I know you're not happy to find out that Hermione… well, that he's a Snape. I'm just asking you to calm yourself before doing anything."
Harry rubbed his forehead. "I don't need to calm down, Ginny. I already knew Nathan was…" He closed his eyes and sighed.
Ginny was perplexed. "You knew and you didn't tell me!" She accused her husband. "How could you hide something like that from me?!"
"Now you calm down, Ginny. I was going to tell you. I only recently found out and just didn't have the opportunity yet."
"Didn't have the opportunity? Who are you trying to fool, Harry?" Ginny never liked to be left out of anything. "How long have you been hiding this from me?"
"Don't make a drama out of this, Ginny. Snape told me when I saw him last, but Hermione didn't want the news out."
"But I'm your wife!"
Harry rolled his eyes. "It's not as if I wasn't going to tell you."
"Wait a minute, Snape told you?" Ginny was starting to see past the fact her husband was keeping secrets from her. "You were sticking your nose where you shouldn't, weren't you? When will you learn, Harry?"
"Damn it!" he swore to himself.
"What are you not telling me?" Ginny asked, knowing her husband too well.
"I didn't want the whole wizarding world to know it like this." He pointed the newspaper in her hands. "I was just trying to help Nathan, to make Hermione see she was making a mistake. Now…"
"You told Skeeter?!" Ginny asked, wide-eyed.
"No!" he answered, but then sighed, lowering his voice to add, "But I think she heard me talking about it, by what she wrote." Harry took the offending newspaper she was waving at him and threw it in an empty armchair.
"Harry," Ginny was going to complete her lament, but seeing his annoyance and knowing it was with himself, she only approached him and reached out a hand in comfort, squeezing his shoulder.
"I was just trying to help him. I'm his godfather, it's my job to protect him, and look what I've done. Now all his friends and teachers know he's related to Snape and it's all my fault."
Ginny just listened, still too mad at him to disagree with his self-accusation. After some silence, she asked, "What were you trying to help Nathan with?"
"Hermione thinks it's a good idea to bring Snape into Nathan's life. I can't let that happen."
Ginny stopped her caress of his shoulder and stepped away from him. Harry turned to face her, trying to understand why.
"You're trying to separate father and son? Is that what you're telling me?"
No, that was not what he was doing. He was protecting Nathan from Snape, which was completely different in Harry's point of view. Can no one understand it?
"You, who never had the opportunity to know your parents, are making an effort to take that opportunity from Nathan?" she added.
He was not taking anyone's opportunity of anything! Or was he? All he was doing was trying to keep Snape from interfering in Nathan's life…
…thus taking the opportunity of Nathan to know his father. Harry was shocked to understand that Ginny was right. What was I thinking?
"I can see you understand what a stupid idiot you are for even thinking of doing such thing," Ginny added, interpreting his expression right.
He sank down into an armchair, ignoring the rustle of crumpled parchment, taking his head in his hands. "All I could think was that I should protect Nathan from Snape. You know what I think of Snape, and that won't change. I just…" Harry was still upset with the notion. "I didn't think I was in fact taking away Nathan's chance to meet his father, I wouldn't want that."
Ginny sat on an arm of the chair and pressed a kiss over Harry's head, fondling his hair. "I'm glad you can see this now. I hope it's not too late for you to fix whatever foolish thing you've done already."
Harry looked at the woman he loved with reverence; she was really special. In a quick move, Harry brought Ginny to his lap and kissed her deeply. "What would I do without you?" He smiled at her.
But the smile dissolved when he yelped and rubbed his arm where she'd just hit him.
She stood from his lap and glared at him. "That's for hiding things from me, Harry James Potter." Ginny was at the door, leaving, when she turned to remind him, pointing the tray on the desk, "Eat the toast before leaving for the Ministry."
After a disastrous breakfast, a morning spent mostly in silence and ignoring the staring of his classmates, Nathan truly expected to meet his mother at lunch. Although it wasn't even Friday yet, he thought she would have come after reading the newspaper. It would have been nice to have her here. Even though he was not on speaking terms with her at the moment, Nathan missed her nonetheless, now more than ever.
The afternoon classes passed mostly like the morning ones. His best friends were not avoiding him, but they weren't acting as usual, either. They rarely asked him something and didn't include him in their conversations. It was clear to Nathan that they wouldn't want to spend time with him now that he was officially Snape's son.
That was why he was taking dinner in a far corner of the Gryffindor table that night. He was still aware of all the staring he was attracting, but he preferred that to his friends' indifference to his presence. At least his father was missing from both meals. One pair of eyes less to stare at me, Nathan though, not really admitting what his father's absence really meant to him.
At the Head Table, Headmistress McGonagall was quite aware of the lonely boy taking his meal at the Gryffindor table and the empty seat by her left. She turned to Lupin and asked, "Have you seen Severus today?"
"Not after breakfast, no." Lupin followed Minerva's eyes to the far corner of the Gryffindor table and assured her, "I'll talk to him and see if he needs anything."
Minerva looked back at Remus and understood he was talking about Nathan. She nodded. "He looks even more like Severus at his age when he's being reserved."
It was Remus time to nod.
"You don't seem surprised with the news, Remus," Minerva added conversationally.
"I already knew," he admitted. "As you pointed out, Nathan is quite a reminder of Severus at his age."
"I can't believe I didn't see the signs before," she confessed.
"You were our teacher, Minerva. I would be alarmed if you would remember how all your former students looked when they were kids." He smiled at her. Again looking at Nathan, he added, "I was Severus' classmate, though. It's easier for me to see the resemblances between the two of them."
"And he has much of his mother, too," she added.
"He's a Gryffindor." Remus smiled mischievously at her.
Minerva couldn't hide her mirth when she said, "Poor Severus."
Remus left the Head Table short after that. He was taking a seat beside Nathan, his back to the table, before the boy could say anything. "Not very hungry today?"
"Not really," Nathan answered.
"Maybe avoiding your friends is taking your appetite," Lupin suggested.
"I'm not avoiding anyone."
"It seems I made the wrong assumption, there must be several reasons you're eating at the far end of the table, I'm sure."
Nathan sighed. "I'm just making their life simpler. This way they don't need to make an effort to chat with Snape's son."
"Why an effort should be needed to chat with you, Nathan? You're the same wonderful kid you were yesterday," Lupin assured him.
Nathan smiled sadly at his professor. He knew his Head of House was trying to cheer him up, being always so nice with him. But nothing Professor Lupin said would change what the others thought of him now that he was Snape's son.
"Do you think you're less than you were before finding out you were Severus' son?"
Nathan looked back at his professor to find his penetrating look on him. "No," he simply answered.
"Good," Lupin nodded, "because you're not."
They were silent for some moments following those statements. Lupin broke the contemplative silence, "You know where to find me if you need anything. Don't hesitate in doing so." He patted Nathan on the shoulder and left for the main doors. Professor Lupin was always there when he needed, and he couldn't avoid thinking her mother had chosen the wrong teacher to be his father.
Nathan looked around then and found he was almost alone in the Great Hall. He'd been so lost in thought that he didn't realize the time going by. He stood and made his way to the common room. He wasn't surprised when every Gryffindor forgot what they had been doing to look at him the moment he crossed the portrait hole, but he couldn't say the same when Andy called him from a far corner.
"Why didn't you eat with us?" the boy asked when Nathan was closer.
Although he could see that Andy was really intrigued by his behavior during dinner, Nathan didn't need to be a genius to notice the discomfort of the others with him. He was somehow happy that Andy had called him over there, but he didn't want to spoil the others' night by staying.
"I was late and didn't want you to have to wait until I was finished to leave the Great Hall," Nathan finally answered. "I guess I'll see you later in the dormitory. I have some reading to do before class tomorrow." Then, addressing the group as a whole, he said, "Good night."
Some answered, others didn't. Nathan couldn't say who was in which group; he was leaving the common room for the dormitories as soon as he bid his leave. If he had looked, he would have seen Andy's sad face while watching him go.
Later that night, he was on his bed, the curtains hiding his opened eyes in the darkened room. All the boys were already there, presumably sleeping as he also should have been, when he heard a whisper, "Nathan."
He closed his eyes.
"Nathan, are you still awake?" his friend insisted.
Nathan had decided to ignore Andy when a raven-haired head invaded the space of his bed through the crimson drapes.
"What is it?" he finally gave in.
"I want to talk to you," Andy whispered back.
Nathan sighed and sat up on his bed, giving space for Andy to do the same. Nathan took his wand and whispered a Lumos.
"Why are you avoiding us?" the boy asked.
Nathan sighed again, dropping his eyes in the dim light. "I know what you're doing, Andy, and I appreciate it. But I can't make the others be around me when it's clear that they don't want to."
Andy was going to protest, but Nathan anticipated, "I know you still want to hang around with me." Both smiled, Nathan sadly. "But I don't believe the others think the same, now that I'm Professor Snape's son."
"It was a bit of a shock," Andy admitted.
"I know," Nathan agreed sorrowfully.
"Maybe they need some time to get used to it," his friend suggested.
"I need some time to get used to it." Another sad smile.
"Did you know he was your father when you fought him yesterday?" Andy asked.
Nathan frowned at himself before admitting, "Yes."
"Oh," was Andy's answer to that.
A tired silence fell upon the two friends. Andy yawned.
"It's late," Nathan said at length, yawning as well. He was actually getting sleepy now.
"See you tomorrow," Andy said, climbing out of Nathan's bed to go back to his own.
Nathan murmured a Nox and was finally sleeping this day away.
Hermione left her footprints on the snow as she made her way through the frozen grounds of Hogwarts castle. She walked fast against the wind, her cheeks flushed from the cold. She had gone to visit Harry the day before, expecting to find resistance to her desires once more, but the man who met her was a completely different version of him. Well, not completely different, but at least willing to give up his affront in the Nathan-interacting-with-Severus issue, even if with sneers and frowns.
Good for him, Hermione had thought, because she had gone there with the same resolve she was reaching the school with now: to sort things out, no matter what. She flung one of the heavy doors open and was bathed with welcomed warmth. Hermione cleaned most of the snow from her clothes and took a deep breath. It was not long past noon, but Nathan should be free of duties by now – he didn't have classes on Friday afternoons, nor did Severus.
She made her way up to Remus' office. Hermione had contemplated how to approach her son after these weeks of no communication. She had discarded looking for him in the common room, especially after yesterday's Prophet. Her best chance was to ask Remus to summon him to his office and see how things progressed from there. She hoped Nathan would be more willing now; that would make things easier for them all.
Remus answered her knock with a smile. "I'm glad to see you, Hermione." He stepped back to allow her entrance.
"It's good to see you, too, Remus."
"What can I do for you?" he asked, settling back behind his desk.
Hermione took an armchair facing him. "I was wondering if you could summon Nathan for me."
"Of course," Lupin answered solicitous. He withdrew his chair only enough to address the portrait to his left, "Sir Gryffindor, would be so kind as to fetch Mr. Granger from the common room?"
The Founder made a bow of courtesy and left the confines of his canvas.
"Thank you," Hermione expressed her gratitude to Remus.
"Not a problem," he assured her with a smile.
"How is he? I mean, after the newspaper. Did Severus speak with him after that?" She couldn't contain her anxious curiosity. Seeming to realize that, she worried her bottom lip before adding, "I'm sorry. You wouldn't know if he did. I'm just worried."
"I happen to know that he didn't," Remus answered nonetheless.
She looked at him for a moment then nodded.
"Nathan is... he's a little sad and confused with the way things are developing, but that was to be expected."
"It was not supposed to be this complicated," she admitted in a lament.
Godric Gryffindor reentered his painting at that moment. "He's on his way," he offered.
"Thank you, sir."
Lupin smiled at her. She smiled back. "I would offer you some tea, but I'm off to a class in a minute. You can use my office for the time you need."
She stood at that, with him following suit. "There won't be necessary, thank you. I'll wait for him outside. I have another place in mind for this conversation."
"I'm glad you're here, Hermione," he admitted. "I'm very fond of Nathan and have a great faith in you."
"Thank you again, Remus. I don't think I've thanked you enough for everything you've been doing for my son."
"It's the least I can do," he said, accompanying her out the door and through the still empty classroom back to the halls of the third floor.
When she turned to him to thank him again, she found his eyes locked somewhere over her shoulder. She turned to see what had caught his attention and observed Nathan approaching.
"Good luck," he wished before greeting a third-year arriving for class and reentering the Defense classroom.
Hermione waited her son move toward her among older students, slowly. She wanted to hug him right there, he seemed so sad. But that would not do. She had to control her emotions or she wouldn't be getting what she was there for.
When he stopped in front of her, quiet, she told him, "I asked Professor Lupin to call you." She still wanted to hug him.
"I thought that must be the reason," Nathan told her.
"We need to talk," she said. "May I assume that wouldn't be a problem?" Her words were objective and firm, but her need to hug him only barely bearable.
Nathan shrugged. "It's okay," he agreed dispassionately, never meeting her eyes, preferring to watch the movement in the hall. At least looking up from the floor.
Hermione reached a hand to his shoulder, unable to resist anymore. "Come, then," she beckoned and started for the marble staircase. She smiled with herself when he didn't object to her touch. She was even curving her mouth into an actual smile when he leaned closer, and she could now involve him in a half-hug.
They walked in silence, marveling in the simple company of one another, until the corridors were emptier.
"You worried me with how you've been acting," she confessed. "There wasn't an hour spent in my day that I wouldn't think about you, of how you were doing, feeling…"
"I was thinking about you, too," he confessed next, making Hermione tighten her one-armed hug while they descended another level of the castle.
"So you don't hate me," she intoned in a question.
Nathan shook his head.
"You were angry and hurt, I understand," she helped him. He nodded. "I'm sorry things weren't how you hoped they would be. They got out of hand, and that was not how I wanted them to progress, either."
She let her words sink in, continuing to guide him around the castle. They were a few steps from the Entrance Hall when she decided to disclose her intentions. "That's why we're all going to talk today, as a family, and will start to bring things to how they were supposed to be since the beginning."
Nathan stiffened by the time she'd said family. "Do you mean talk with him?" He faced her for the first time that day, eyes wide as if she was saying some absurdity.
"Precisely," she answered, urging him into the Entrance Hall so they could make for the dungeons.
Nathan disentangled himself from her arm, shrugging it off nervously, but she held him by the hand. "I'm not meeting him," he stated.
"We'll both be meeting him," she countered, trying to assure him confidence by including her.
"I agreed to talk to you, not him."
Hermione could see he was getting more agitated. "Nathan, there is no reason to postpone this anymore. Come, we'll just talk." She pulled him a couple of steps towards the dungeons.
"You can't make me talk to him!" he raged, visibly losing control, throwing his weight in the opposite direction she was willing to take him.
"Yes I can, but I was hoping you'd be willing to cooperate to put an end to this inane situation," she answered while he shook his head in denial of her every word, trying to free his hand.
"No, I won't go there, Mum. I won't!" He pulled against her hold, angry.
"Stop this nonsense right now!" she hissed. "You're not five years old anymore, for God's sake! You're acting as if I was dragging you to your death or something!" Hermione was expecting some resistance, but nothing so desperate like this.
It got worse. "He hates me, Mum! Believe me, he doesn't want to see me! Please!" he whined, trying desperately to free himself from her firm grip.
"That's enough!" she said briskly, both annoyed and somehow scared by such strong denial. She summoned force to her resolve and said, still in a harsher tone than usual, "He doesn't hate you, Nathan!" She took a deep breath to calm herself and went very close to him, face leveled with his, looking seriously into his eyes. "Here is the thing, you are coming with me down there, like it or not! You can keep walking like the capable boy you are, or I can Petrify and Levitate you there. What will it be?"
Nathan was staring at her in disbelief, on the verge of tears after that statement. Hermione hated the way she was forcing him to agree to this meeting, but she had made up her mind. They had no choice in this: the three of them were going to come to an understanding, and today.
Calmer, determined, but with her heart aching, she turned to the last flight of stairs and urged, "Come," tugging at him to follow.
They got to the Potions master's office, and Hermione knocked, having Nathan between her and the door. Her heart was beating faster with the prospect of finally getting there, to this meeting, of having her son and his father together, knowing of one another. If only she could be sure of Severus' receptivity…
"He's not here," Nathan said to the lack of answer to her knocks, trying to evade her hands to go back from where they'd come.
She held him firmly in place and tried for the doorknob with no success. She turned to go further into the dungeons, taking Nathan with her, becoming more nervous and anxious with each step they took. What if Severus refused to answer her? Stopping in front of the next door, Hermione forced those thoughts away, trying to focus on her Gryffindor traits, and knocked.
"Where are we?" Nathan asked alarmed.
"Your father's quarters," she answered, and Nathan tried to escape her hands again.
"Mum, he must be busy, we can come back another time," he tried, but she wasn't listening, concentrated on her goal.
"Severus, open up!" Hermione called, knocking harder.
Nathan was looking at her as if seeing her for the first time, shocked with her boldness towards the feared professor. "He's not here, Mum. Let's…"
Nathan suggestion died when the door opened in front of them, held by a scowling Severus Snape.
"What do y-" Severus' tirade was cut short by the sight of Nathan.
"Good afternoon, Severus," Hermione greeted as if nothing was amiss and pushed a reluctant Nathan into Severus' living room, not waiting to be invited.
Seeming to regain his power of speech, Severus questioned, "What's the meaning of this?"
"We're here to have that conversation," she answered right away.
"What conversation? I have agreed to none of this!"
Hermione gave him a pointed look. "Don't be obtuse; it doesn't suit you, Severus. We're having this conversation in spite of your agreement to it. I won't be waiting on you two to start working things out between us." She looked at both her boys this time.
Severus glare would have scared some of the deceased Dark Lord's minions. Nathan looked from his enraged father to his mother, still holding him by the shoulders, as if waiting for the impending duel.
Hermione returned Severus' glare unwaveringly. "Don't even start, Severus. We're not getting out of here before working this through!" And with that, she moved Nathan with her to one of the sofas, coaxing him to sit and making herself comfortable by his side.
Severus growled. "Have you lost the rest of the sanity you had, woman? I'm not playing your little games anymore! Now, do get out!" he barked. "Out!"
Hermione didn't move, staring at Severus with her chin up. "Not until we have talked. We need this family meeting, Severus."
"Family? What family?" Severus was pacing in front of his guests. He stopped in front of her to add, gesticulating, as if she was younger than their son, "There is no family, Granger. There will never be!"
She frowned at Severus. "Of course there is!" she countered outraged, leaving Nathan alone on the sofa to confront Severus with full force. "We're Nathan's family. I'm his mother, you're his father: a family!"
He snorted in her face. "This," Severus motioned to the three of them, "is not anyone's definition of family."
"Maybe not before," Hermione had to agree. "But from now on, it is."
"This can never be, Granger! Give up!" Severus affirmed again, annoyed. "It's past the time you abandon your pathetic dreams of all happiness and smiles."
"Then tell me, Severus, since your Inner Eye seems able to see our future, why can't this be a family?" she dared him. Oh, how this man could infuriate her!
He bared his teeth to her. "You damn know why this will never work, Granger!"
"I don't think I do, no. Do enlighten me, Severus!"
Severus bared his teeth again, this time actually growling. "Why did you bring him with you? This is not a matter to be discussed in front of a child!"
"I beg to differ," she countered him again. "You need to put aside your differences. You haven't talked to each other since Nathan found out the truth about you," she told him matter-of-factly. "And we need the whole family for a family meeting," she added.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Stop with the family crap!"
"You haven't convinced me why we can't be a family yet. Maybe you should stop with the crap," she challenged.
And that did it. "You asked for this, Granger," he started, getting closer to her, threateningly. "Do you really want to know why this will never be something resembling a family? Because I won't inflict my presence to someone who hates me just to make this fantasy happen for you. Your son hates me!" Severus finished saying that with the most dangerously low voice.
His argument had seemed to have the effect Severus expected, silencing Granger, or at least one of them…
"I don't hate you," came the small voice from behind the woman.
"What?" Severus asked in obvious disbelief.
Hermione came out of her daze and turned to her boy on the sofa, who held his head in his hands. She sat back on the sofa and caressed Nathan's head. "Of course you don't, honey," she asserted him. "No one hates anyone here."
"He does!" Nathan looked up to his father to deliver his accusation. "He never wanted me around, always sending me away for no reason. He doesn't even come to the Great Hall to eat most of the time. And... and he tried to get another teacher to supervise my detentions!"
"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Severus said mostly to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as if plagued by a headache.
Hermione sighed. So they thought one hated the other. What a mess! She took a deep breath and started, "Severus doesn't hate you, Nathan, far from that, actually. He cares for you and is always worried about you."
When that didn't seem to affect Nathan much, she continued, "When you were having trouble with Malfoy, he contacted me to tell about the situation and to ask me to talk to you about it. He made you that necklace at Christmas, so he could know when you were sad or in danger, even if he wasn't around."
She knew her words were having some effect when she saw Nathan look speculatively at Severus, who now had his back to them and faced the hearth. Hermione carried on with her speech, "One night, you were having a nightmare, and Severus could see your distress through the necklace. He came looking for me so I could wake you up and take care of you. He was there with me, Nathan, until you fell asleep again."
Severus exhaled audibly, bowing his head. Was he ashamed of her telling Nathan these things? She wouldn't back down now that she knew Nathan was within a step of persuasion. "When you heard his conversation with Harry the day you found out, we were both very worried about you, as you might imagine." Her voice was breathily soft, her hands caressing his head. "Severus and I searched through almost the entire castle for you before we found you sleeping in the Trophy Room. I wanted to wake you up and see if you were injured, but he held me back and carried you in his arms to my bed. He helped me tuck you in for the night and watched you while I talked with Harry and Professor Lupin."
She paused and looked at Severus' still form contrasting with the light shadowing him from their view, then turned back to their son, whose black eyes were softened by what she'd told him. To be sure, she added, "Your father cares a great deal about you, Nathan."
Hermione permitted the silence to soothe the air between them. The crackling fire lanced shadows on Nathan's contemplative face. She knew she'd made through.
Nathan inclined his head. "Is it true?" he asked his father.
Severus didn't turn to them or made any sign that he had heard him. Hermione stood and approached slowly. "Severus?" she called tentatively. He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, then closed them. She reached a hand to touch his shoulder in an encouraging gesture, and he sighed with the touch. "Answer your son," she asked softly.
He stepped away from her hand to turn and face Nathan. Severus locked eyes with his son for a moment before finally answering, "I don't hate you." Their eyes continued to hold one another's for what seemed an eternity, and Nathan nodded his acceptance to his father's confession.
"That's it. We're finally getting somewhere." Hermione risked smiling at them.
It was Severus' time to nod, even if reluctantly. "I think this puts an end to any plan of cauldron sabotage and yelling in the halls?" He arched an eyebrow to Nathan.
Nathan lowered his gaze to his hands. "I'm sorry, sir."
Hermione looked quizzically to Severus, but he didn't offer any explanation to that.
"Now, if that was all, I do have things to attend. I wasn't expecting to be locked in a meeting for the afternoon," he added, looking pointedly to Hermione this time.
Before she could deny that dismissal, Nathan was on his feet and heading for the door. Well, their first family meeting was officially over. "Wait for me in the hall, Nathan," she called after him before he could disappear into the castle. She wasn't finished with him yet.
Nathan muttered his agreement and left the room.
When the door clicked closed, she turned to meet Severus and almost collided with him; she didn't hear him approaching.
"I don't like surprises," he told her. "Bear in mind that this sort of intrusion will not be taken lightly in the future."
He wanted to intimidate her, she knew, to caution her with his looming figure and deadly low voice, but his proximity had a very different effect on her. If she had stayed behind to say something to him, she didn't remember anymore, mesmerized as she was by the moment. Realizing she'd been staring at his lips, she averted her eyes, looking for something to say.
She tried her voice, and felt her mouth was dry. She darted her tongue to lick at her lips and cleared her throat. Severus stepped back, and she wanted to follow, but didn't.
"I hope to see you at dinner," Hermione said, and felt foolish like a silly teenager.
"I don't think I have a choice," he answered crossly.
She suppressed a sigh of disappointment with his answer and turned for the door. "Indeed, you don't." She was gone.
Severus heard the echo of the door closing and was free to frown at himself. What had just happened here? No, he wasn't referring to the invasion of the infuriating woman into his private space, bringing their son with her to trick the boy with this false family she had created in her insanity. He would be worrying about that later. What was bothering him right now was that heavy lidded eyes had fixed on his lips, that tongue that had darted out to moisten her own, and most definitely the raw need he felt so strongly of kissing them until they were swollen and she was breathless in his arms.
"Damn it!" he admonished his treacherous mind. He knew the images he witnessed today and those he would conjure later would be filling his dreams in ways he would not have wanted.
Essays, where did I leave those essays, he urged himself to think, heading out of his quarters to find occupation for his mind in his office.