I sat in my bed in the small cell I shared with another in mate thinking about the final day of my trial. The day the judge gave his verdict and made me a prisoner for my crimes. I was to spend 10 years of my life in this place.
I remember the tears on my mother and sister's faces, when the judge gave his verdict. My father just sat there, looking straight ahead at the judge. He refused to look at me, even for once. His face had no emotion in them.
I was in the witness box, hoping, praying I would at least get my father to look at me, but he didn't. I cried so much when the judge gave his verdict.
I was led away immediately, after the verdict had been given and the judge stood. My lawyer came to me and tried to console me. " Everything will be okay", he said.
I had no strength in me to reply. I just nodded at him. Daniel was at the hospital then, still getting treated for all the wounds he obtained from me, his own brother. He trusted me and I let him down.
I remember when my father came to visit me on the first day I was brought to the prisons. I will never forget the look he had on his face when I was brought before him. It held so much disappointments and anger.
" Why did you do this to your own brother?" he asked. His voice was filled with anger
" I am sorry papa", was all I could get out.
" He trusted you. We... trusted you. And you did this to us, to him? Why? What was your reasons to hurt your brother like this?" he asked almost raising his voice.
" I swear, it was not my intention to hurt him. I was blinded, I was blinded by all the power I could get and I did not realise how much I was hurting him", I began to cry.
I regretted everything I did. I just could not stand my father looking at me like this. I already hated myself for what I did and the regret was killing me so much.
" What you did, is unforgivable. Nothing can rub off what you did. You hurt the one person, who was willing to help you get something better for you to do with your life and that is just... " he trailed off and stood up
I could sense all the anger coming out of him. I tried taking his hand and continued to apologise but he flinched away from me. He just walked out of the room before I could say anything else.
I sat there on the chair crying my eyes out when the prison officer came in and took me away to my cell. That happened six months ago.
My father, mother nor Daniel came to visit me since then. They all totally avoided me. I was like a plaque, an untreatable illness to them. I know they stopped caring about me because they were angry with me.
Genevieve, on the other hand, visited any time she had the time. She is still in school, studying fashion and yet she still has time to come visit me. Truthfully, without her visits, I don't think I would ever have the courage to live.
My lawyer, who also happens to be my god father also came visiting almost every day. He mostly came to see me, to find out how I am coping in here. I will always be grateful to him for everything he did for me. He took my case and defended me.
Even though I lost, he still was there for me. His visits always gave me some peace from the nightmare I was living in.
Life in prison is sure not easy. For a 25 year old young man like myself, the chances of getting into trouble and dying here was really high. No one cares about how you feel here and no one is willing to do anything to help you when you need help.
Dangerous criminals were all in here. Some still committed crimes in here and no one said anything. The fact is, no one wants to be found dead in their cell the next day because they decided to speak.
I learnt very quickly to always mind my business and stay out of trouble. Sebastian, my cell mate, was of great help to me. He had been brought in here because he was caught picking a man's wallet from his pocket.
He insists he took because he was hungry but no one believed him, or cared to believe him. He was sentenced for fifteen years, from which he already served three out of.
Ever since I came in here, he has been good to me. Teaching me everything I needed to know to protect myself from all those criminals who would want to harm me.
So after another six months, I was able to still survive and stay out of trouble. I made it my goal to work hard to just live here in peace with everyone and I was determined to keep it that way.
Being in here for a year, took a lot of determination and hardwork and I was not ready to back down yet. I needed to prove to my family that I regret what I did and I am ready to do anything for them to forgive me.
One morning, I and Sebastian sat on a chair in the far corner of the prison yard talking when a prison officer walked up to us.
" Thompson, the General wants to have a word with you", he said.
The General? What would he want with me? I have not done anything so why would he want to see me?
The General, is the prison warden. He is the most feared person in the prisons. He is very strict and gives strict punishments to inmates who refuse 'to break'. What that means, I have no idea, but all I know is that, he is not someone to toy with.