'I tried waking up, but I was suddenly caught in a carousel of thoughts...every single event from my memories started playing in my head.
From my first birthday, to my first day in primary school, to my parents funeral, to all the horrible days I had to spend with the people I once called 'family', to the day I left their home. It all started playing until the day I thought I died..'
'Wait...'
'Did I just fucking die?!'
'Is this the reason why I suddenly remember everything that happened to my in my 28 years of life? Is this really just like in movies where people suddenly have this epiphany that their lives were nothing but a pile of shit that no one cares about and so they wish they could have a second chance to correct their mistakes completely?'
'No, no, Ah Wei, don't panic, think. Thinking is your forte isn't it?'
I evened out my breathing, relaxed my body and started thinking more logically.
'Okay, so right now, I'm in a half asleep state, I can feel that I'm lying on the bed, and it is very hard for me to open my eyes right now. I don't know where I am but I reckon that God pitied me and let me live until I reached the hospital.'
'But wait. This doesn't make any sense either!'
'How can someone send me to the hospital when there is literally no living being around my land, other than me and you have to keep walking for at least 10 minutes if you want to communicate with a 'neighbour''.
'I really don't think that these thugs have had their hearts soften when they saw such an exotic beauty like me dying, so they sent me to the hospital!'
'Oh my... What if, this isn't the hospital, since I really can't hear any machines beeping or making any noises, what if these gangsters saw how perfect I am and saved me, kidnapped me, forced me to sign the contract by using my fingerprint while I was unconscious and locked me in this room?!'
'What if they are all waiting for me to wake up just so they can eat me up??'
'Mommy, please i prefer to die and meet with you than stay alive with those beasts!'
'God, please if you really pity me so much then at least let me live a comfortable life!'
'Also, I know I'm beautiful, but I'm 70% Straight! Even if I wanted to hook up with a man, it would be someone with good taste and handsome face like me!'
Probably because of the override of emotions, I forced myself to open my eyes, while thinking that maybe I am overreacting and that I am actually laying in the hospital bed, and it's just me over thinking because all men are beasts when they see a sweet cookie like me in front of them...I understand their feelings though. Who wouldn't want to eat me up..
However, what I saw when my eyelids opened up, was even more shocking than watching the scariest scene from the "IT"!
My whole body stiffened immediately and my heart started beating twice as fast while my palms where soaked in sweat with my hair as damp as when coming out of the shower. I gulped, and nervously propped my shaking body up from the bed and put my back against the wall while my eyes scanned the surroundings so quickly that I started feeling dizzy and disoriented.
I looked around the tiny, 5 feet deep, rectangle shape balcony that was made into a room. The decor was very simple, clean-looking and old-fashioned, but every time I looked at it, it pulled at my heartstrings, my heart beating so fast that I could hear it even louder than my already loud, rapid and uneven breathing, as I still haven't gotten over the shock.
I think that my head must have been whacked so many times by this young gangster that my brain turned into paste...
Everything seemed so familiar and yet foreign and novel at the same time.
The beige walls surrounding me, the old desk with a laptop, a bag and many books placed on top of it, the chair that was so uncomfortable to sit on that I prayed not to get hemmoroids every week when I had to study for an exam and sat in it for hours a day, the school uniform of No. 30 Middle School in Beijing that lays neatly in the half open closet, and this old, hard and creaky bed with a quilt as thin as my pinky finger...
All these things which are in front of me trigger many memories..Happy memories? Yes, but not many. Sad memories? Of course, there is so many of them that I won't be able to count them all even if I walk all over the world and back!
After sitting in this position with my back plastered on the wall for at least an hour with my whole body still stiff from the shock i have been given, I gradually relaxed my tense muscles and my eyes which still showed distrust and confusion towards this whole situation landed on a calendar which is in a very sorry state as its half-hanging, half-falling off the door.
I read it again and again. It took me another 30 minutes to understand this.
"hahahahahahahahahahaha" I laughed out loud as I laid back down on my bed and read the date on the calendar once again, this time out loud.
"1st"
"Haha"
"March"
I feel like I'm in seventh heaven!
"... 2015"
My cheeks flushed from laughing and I smiled from ear to ear as I calmed down my emotions and repeated this date in my heart many more times .
On 2nd of March 2015 was the date that the second term in my third year of middle school started. Yes, this was the year when we prepared for High School Entrance Examinations. This was the time when I was 16. I didn't study well since I had my rebellious phase and didn't give a damn about anything since I realised that my 'family' doesn't care about me.
It really seems like this God of mine pities me too much...
To go as far as have my soul reborn into the body of my 16 year old self, which means that I have a chance to live through those years again...
Don't worry God-sama! I will definitely pray in temples for you from now on!
"Sigh..." I lay back and close my eyes, my skinny body tired from this euphoric high I just had, and thought things through very slowly.
'Since it seems like I really am loved by God to this extent, I obviously have to fullfill my role as someone who experienced rebirth! I have to join a gang, start a harem, move to North Korea, infiltrate their army, kill their leaders, start a war against America and become the most villainous Male Lead that the world of novels ever created hahahahaha! '
Okay okay I have to stop joking right now because it will seem like I really received some kind of brain damage...
'Since i have reincarnated in time where I have not yet attended high school, I will definitely change everything I can about my life!'
'Firstly, I will stop this rebellious tick of mine I had in my past life at this age, and start studying seriously. Although there is only around three months until high school entrance examinations start, with me being mentally 28 years old and my already handsome IQ, i won't have many problems as long as I put in an appropriate amount of work into studying.'
"Kekeke.. In this life I won't be the same. This time I will get into No. 1 High School in Beijing and start planning my revenge on the twins, hahaha"
'I laughed to myself as I thought about all of this. In my past life, I did not study well and had to go to No. 30 High School in Beijing which was a very strict school due to how many uneducated people and delinquents go there. From what I remember, those 2 and a half years i spent in there were like walking in a path to hell. My guess is that someone paid off some of the teachers to 'educate' me because I realised that the looks and the attitude some teachers gave me were very hostile, and obviously different from how they treated other students. Because of these teachers, other classmates also picked on me at that time.'
'From what I remember the twins, Lu Ling Mei, my female cousin and Lu Shirong, my male cousin who are both of the same age as me, attended No. 1 High School because Uncle Lu who is some kind of politician, paid off the Vice Principal of the school a large sum of money that was supposed to be for my university fund and this let them qualify to attend it.'
'Just thinking about how they will react when they realise I'm smarter than them, sends shivers down my spine. Hahaha, I really want to show them what I am capable of.'
'In this life I, Han Xue Wei, promise all those that have hurt me in my past life, that I will definitely pay them back tenfolds. I also promise to myself, that I won't let hate and revenge overcome me, I will not loose myself in these selfish desires and only pay back those who will still try and hurt me in this life! '
'I am doing this because I know that revenge won't always solve everything. However I also have a bottom line and I know that this stupid family of four fools, will definitely cross it hundreds of time.'
"This time, it will be this handsome brother here laughing at your misfortune kekeke"
I look at the clock and realise that it's already 9PM and so I went out of the room, took a quick shower, while not forgetting to stand in front of the mirror to admire my once again skinny, but still sexy body and youthful appearance with my skin flushed red from the steam that would otherwise be pearl white, and so soft and smooth that it is hard to find any visible pores. I also admired these beautiful, soft Ash brown curls after shower, with water droplets dripping onto my straight-edged nose, down to my thin rosy lip, I look into my deep ocean blue eyes and think to myself,
'This face if definitely 20/10'
'Sigh... The more I look at myself, the more I feel like I will develop a split personality where the other one is in love with my face'
I immediately stop looking at myself after getting this thought because I really don't want to be mentally ill just after reincarnating!
I then realised that although I look very handsome, my hair is too long to the point that it covers my eyes and the sides of my cheeks, and my uniform is so baggy that it looks like a garbage bag.
This is why I could never utilise my looks, I was always hiding them, próby because I've been told that my eyes and hair are disgusting ever since I was 10, so I started to feel overly concmscious of my body to the point that I could not appreciate my beauty.
Only a few years later did I realise how I wasted these years in school where I should have showed off these amazing qualities of mine as much as I can.
After I go out from the bathroom, I hear some noises in the kitchen, and I know that there is 4 people sitting beside the table, talking, eating and drinking like they always do at night.
I could go and talk with them, however my mood today is too good, to the point that I don't want to destroy it by having to deal with these bastards.
I will only start feeling bitter in my heart tomorrow morning when I have to wake up to go to school, so I can also confront them and start my revenge planning tomorrow when my mood has stabilised.
Therefore, I decided not to think about these 4 people for today. For me, they are like strangers since eight years ago in my last life anyway so there is nothing weird if I start treating them like air.
I went back into my room and looked through my school bag, and I found some unopened snacks that I usually hide there for emergency purposes like the one right now, and enjoyed them quietly in my room.
After filling my stomach a little bit of rice crackers, fishnacks and dried squid, I put the snacks away, laid in bed and quickly drifted away into the magical world of dreams...