Chereads / Hamilton cast smut! / Chapter 12 - “Are you gonna let go?” Carleigh x f!reader

Chapter 12 - “Are you gonna let go?” Carleigh x f!reader

Helloo peeps this was requested by a friend of mine. Please proceed with caution. I dug into my childhood for inspiration for this chapter. It's very dark and may be a trigger for some people, so please, don't read if you can't handle mention of rape, self harm, or suicide. What happened is now in my past and I'm okay now. Thank u for reading and enjoy!

~Carleigh's pov~

Y/n and I were cuddling on the couch watching Legally Blonde. We had only been at the resort for a day. "Hey I need to take a shower and wash all the pool water out of my hair. Can you sit in the bathroom with me while I do?" She asked. "Sure." I replied, pulling the blanket off of us and standing up. It was a strange request, but I went with it. Once we got into the bathroom, she turned the water faucet and started to strip. I quickly covered my eyes and started blushing. "Babe, you've seen me named before. It's fine." She said while laughing. "Pfft, I know, but I'll get all flustered if I see you naked!" I replied. She giggled and stepped into the shower.

"Y/n, can I ask you something?" I said. "Of course! You can always ask me anything." She replied sweetly. "Why do you always want me to come in here to sit while you take a shower?" I asked. She went silent. "Y/n are you okay?" I asked. "I'll explain when I get out." She said in a tone I've never heard her use. She almost sounded hurt. "Oh um, okay"

A few minutes passed before she asked me to hand her a towel. She stepped out of the shower and brushed her hair and got dressed. I walked her to our shared bedroom and sat next to her on the bed. We sat quietly before I broke the silence. "Y/n, you don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable." I reassured her. "I trust you with this. The only other people that know are Reneé and Pippa." She replied.

"I'm glad you trust me." I said, hugging her and giving her a kiss on her forehead. She let out a deep sigh. "Ok here it goes. It all started during spring break of my 5th grade year. My parents and I were at home. I was supposed to get ready for dinner with my friend's family, but both my parents had business meetings to go to, and they didn't want to leave me home alone. So they told me to call my friend that lived down the street and ask if I could go there to get ready. He said yes. My parents dropped me off there, but once I got inside I realized his parents weren't home. I didn't think much of it though. We had been friends since we were really little, but he was two years older than me." She explained. I didn't know where the story was going, but I was interested in what she had to say. "I asked him if I could take a shower in one of the guest bathrooms and he said yes. So I went in and set my things down and tried to lock the door. It didn't lock. But I though if he knew I was in here, he wouldn't try to open the door. I stripped and stepped into the shower, and I don't specifically remember what happened next, but I guess I just didn't hear the door open." She said looking away. I had a feeling what she was saying. "Y/n, did he... hurt you?" I said, slightly alarmed. "How do I say this... He... raped me." She said calmly. "W-what?" I said shakily. I pulled her into a hug. "Y/n. Please tell me your alright." I said in tears as I held her close to me. "Carleigh! I'm okay!" She said while kissing me. "I promise. I'm fine now." She reassured me. "Y/n. You're so strong. You're so beautiful. You're so amazing. I love you." I said. She said she was okay but something like that scars you for life. "Aww Carleigh I love you too." I kissed her and held her in a hug. "Are you gonna let go?" She asked me. "No. Never." I replied. "How did you deal with that? Did you tell your parents?" I asked. "Of course not. They would have thought I purposely lost my virginity at 11." She replied. "I did actually cut myself for a long time though." She said. "What? You don't do that anymore do you?" I asked. "No no of course not! But I have some scars." She said. She pulled off 4 bracelets that she always wore on her wrist to reveal multiple deep marks that went over veins. I could tell they where old, but they looked really deep. I took her hand and looked at the scars. "Y/n... why did you do this to yourself?" I asked, concerned. "I guess I saw it as kind of a coping mechanism. The physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain." She said, showing me other scars all around her body. "You never tried to kill yourself, did you?" I cautiously asked. "Yes." She replied. "Im so glad it didn't work!" I said, hugging her tightly. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Me too."