'Scott, when you said you had a solution, I thought you meant a magical fish or something. Not this…' Alex was uncomfortable as he adjusted his rubber wetsuit. Scott's solution was to buy scuba diving equipment, a rather practical and obvious idea, but somehow disappointing. Alex had decked himself out in this equipment, with Hades' Helm on his head for invisibility.
They were near the shores of Lake Svetloyar in central Russia, a small lake of only a few hundred meters in diameter. 'Isn't this lake too small to house a city?' Alex asked.
'Don't worry, Sir. You will understand when you arrive,' Scott assured him.
As Alex prepared to enter the water, he heard something incredible—a beautiful voice. Some distance from him, a girl sat on a log singing a melodic Russian folk song. Her feet were in the water, swinging in rhythm like a conductor, while the lake waters waved as if dancing. The sun glistened against the girl's fair hair and aquamarine dress as her voice reverberated through the area.
Alex could only view the side of her face, but it was enough to tell she was a world-class beauty. Both her song and face were enchanting. As he admired them, his thinking slowed, and his eyes lost focus…
'Sir! Look away from her!' Scott yelled through their soul link.
Alex shook his head and turned away. He was used to this. After all, he had years of practice closing pop-ups of various images far lewder than this. Was it was all training for this moment?
'Scott, what was that?' Alex asked.
'Sir, that's a Rusalka, a female water spirit, sometimes called a Slavic siren or mermaid. She is the gatekeeper of this lake, meant to ward off any unwanted visitors. As long as you don't stare at her for a long time, you should be fine. If you watch her too long, she will notice your presence, because her form transforms to match the closest viewer's fantasy of the ideal partner. It's best to sneak by and not fight or catch her attention.'
As Scott was explaining the Rusalka's powers, her form became hazy. A moment later, she morphed into a 2 meter tall, black-haired woman covered in tight black leather with metal spikes jutting out from various areas. She lashed out a whip in her hand, making a loud noise. Then she turned to peer in Alex's direction and growled! It was a dominatrix!
'Sir, you must not look at her!' Scott warned.
'It wasn't me! Who would want that! It must be that bastard Hades!'
Guilty as charged. If a Helm could smile...
Hades could see the environment since Alex summoned him and he never passed up on a free Rusalka show.
Alex squinted his eyes when the dominatrix Rusalka stood up and walked in his direction.
*Whipsh!* *Whipsh!*
He gulped, then came up with an idea. The Rusalka still couldn't see him, so he summoned Dracula behind a tree next to him. He would pad his back and become the victim! That's what employees are for!
'Dracula, go distract her,' Alex commanded.
Dracula did as instructed. He walked out of the shadows, showing himself to the Rusalka. His face relaxed when he saw her. This dominatrix did nothing for him. All of a sudden, her form blurred once again…
If one had to describe what appeared, the best term would be…a wild Snorlax!
Orcabetty!
Too much ham for two eggs!
You get the ide! It was a morbidly obese woman!
Alex's jaw dropped as he watched the mermaid become a manatee…
'Dracula, are you a chubby-chaser,' Alex questioned.
Dracula spread a disgusting smile. 'Big girls need love too, Lord.'
...
Alex was already formulating plans to go to bars and use Dracula as a wingman. Dracula could take down the big friend. It wouldn't even be taking one for the team; He'd love it!
The supersized Rusalka waddled towards Dracula. He was drooling. This vampire was in love. This was a seed for a dark romance spin-off!
Meanwhile, Alex was sneaking into the water when he heard something shocking.
"Ahaha! Ahahahahah! Stop! Hahaha! No more! Hahahahaha!" Dracula was suffering from hysterical laughter.
'What the hell are they doing?' Alex glanced at them. They looked like they were hugging but the Rusalka blocked his view. The Rusalka also started to chuckle. It was like a scene of a white trash couple watching a prime-time sitcom!
…
Scott explained, 'Sir, the Rusalkas sometimes kill their victims by tickling them to death...'
Alex grimaced. 'This is disgusting. Is it too late to change sides for the apocalypse? Someone needs to rewrite this world.'
…
As Alex dove into the water, he remembered something. 'Scott, won't the Rusalka alert others once Dracula disappears?'
'…No, Sir. These Rusalkas are similar to music idols in that they're not very smart. They're good at singing and tickling and not much else.'
Alex nodded. 'That sounds a lot like idols in the entertainment industry. I hear they do a lot of special tickling…'
Scott continued. 'Furthermore, the Rusalka answered to Perun only. Now that he's dead, she won't go out of her way to alert anyone. No one will watch this area with special care either. If she's attacked, she'll scream, but if the victim disappears, she'll only go back to singing.'
Alex shook his head. '...That's what you get for hiring a disco-slut as security.' Alex saw this as a classic hiring mistake. 'Perun must've been banging her.'
Fearing he would throw up if he saw more, Alex equipped his scuba gear and entered the water. As he dove deeper, Scott reminded him and he took out the Adder Stone gifted by Devana, placing it to his eye.
From one eye, he saw nothing but an underwater lake with some rocks and small fish swimming about.
From the other, a bright golden door!