James was rollerblading on the boardwalk. It was a beautiful day out, not too crowded, which allowed him to savor the salty breeze without a care in the world. Occasionally glancing at the ground to confirm his clear path, he began to wonder about his life. Looking bac--"AAAHH!"
*PPTHUD*
Something had appeared out of thin air, tripping the man.
Near the head of the rollerblader squirming on the ground, Barney panted, looking on. He occasionally glanced upwards at the man holding his leash, wearing a sinister dark helmet. It was Alex.
They were on their daily walk. Barney had just finished doing his unholy business when this juggernaut wannabe had come rolling into the aftermath--a poop.
'Barney's invisible since he's in a chain of contact with me just like my clothes, but once something leaves contact, it becomes visible again.' As he rubbed his new Helm, Alex took a last look at the pitiful guy, still moaning on the ground. 'You got fragged bruh, get helmed.'
...
Back in the apartment, Alex had removed his helmet, allowing Hades to return back to Cardopolis.
'Sir, I've discovered something!' Scott announced with eager voice.
"If you're going to tell me about their card-shaped bikinis again..."
'No, Sir. This is something that may be of great use to you!'
"Very well, tell me."
'Sir, it's best if you see it for yourself. I am currently holding it. All you have to do is connect through our soul link, and you will be able to transfer it to the outside. This will be a great weapon for us!'
Alex decided to follow his instructions and summoned the item. A light ball appeared above his hand, this time forming...a palm-sized blank white card. It had a smooth glossy surface that felt similar to plastic.
Alex entered horse stance, wound up, and shuriken-threw it into the wall.
*PLOP*
The card was now laying peacefully on the ground.
...
"Is this your great weapon? Shouldn't it at least explode when hitting things. Even Gambit's candy ass could do that much."
'Sir, it's not that kind of weapon. This item is called a Seal card.'
"Seal card? Ok. How does it work?" Alex picked the card back up. It was surprisingly resilient and had taken no damage from hitting the wall.
'Seal cards can Seal and Unseal material objects inside of them.'
"Oh?" Alex's ears perked up. "How do I use it?"
'Sir, you simply go nearby the object you want to Seal. Then you must focus your mind on the object and use the Seal command.'
Alex walked over to an old lamp. He held the card up at head-level. "Seal!"
The lamp rapidly turned into a ball of light and entered the card. Alex's eyes widened. The card now had a small illustration of the lamp on one side. "Ok. How do I get the lamp back?"
'Sir, you simply do the same but with the Unseal command. You can also control the placement by concentrating on it.'
"Unseal!" The lamp appeared in the exact same spot. Alex smiled and stared at the card. It didn't take long for him to start generating many ideas. It was then that the card in his hand turned to ashes. "...Scott...please tell me that wasn't valuable"
'Sir, you could say it was very valuable, and you could also say it was quite inexpensive. I've never seen anything like these cards, but I believe I've found a way to procure many of them in the future.'
"What can we do with them? Can we take out items from Cardopolis?"
'Indeed we can, Sir!'
Alex's eyes shined. "Then go Seal me a nuclear weapon!"
'I'm afraid Cardapolis does not have nuclear weapons, Sir.'
"No nukes? That's alright, then missiles, grenades, automatic rifles..."
'...About that Sir.' Scott cleared his throat about 10 times. 'Cardopolis does not have weapons.'
Alex had a bad hunch, like a bucket of ice was about to be dumped over his head. "What do you mean?"
'Sir, Cardopolis is a society that firmly believes in peace. They do not have any weapons capable of great destruction. Their ideology is...' Scott gulped as his forehead became moist. 'Why fight when we can have fun playing with cards?'
...
A vein bulged in Alex's head. 'These bastards have been living too carefree. Should I smite them? Start a great flood?' He started thinking up various plans of how to express his wrath to these unworthy sinners.
Several minutes later...
Sigh. '...It's not their fault. Those ideas came from me. It seems I was really the most foolish 7 year old on the planet. I just wanted to play happily all day. It appears now that what I should've been doing is looking for the old ultraviolence. This must be what they mean by 'with age comes wisdom.' ...Alright, let's work with what we have.'
"What weapons can we take out then?" Alex asked.
'Sir...they have some fine kitchen knives and farming equipment.'
Alex started to make detailed preparations for the great flood.