When I met Arata Tsubasa, I wasn't in the best mood. I had a rude awakening that morning. Very rude. "Wake up! Wake up!" Was what I heard. I, Sasaki Yuji. Had a dream. Had. My precious dream. I sat under a tree, eating an apple that I was peeling with a knife. A regular knife, not one of my many demon weapons. I guess being a spirit doesn't transfer over into dreams. This dream was a nice breather to take from my normal life. My normal life had been too busy lately. I had died, and became known as the most powerful spirit in the afterlife. I solved a murder. Had several ladies move in with me, two of which are crazy. Batshit. Even started a relationship with my teacher. Before you judge, we started dating before she was my teacher. Well, she was a teacher at my school before we started dating, but she wasn't my teacher until recent, and she transferred out due to a murder before coming back. Don't stress over the details. "Come on, wake up!" My eyes shifted open, and there was another human in my face. "Fuck off, Noriko." I retorted. "Well that's not nice."
"Well, neither is waking me up this early."
"Well, neither is getting a girlfriend behind my back." Oh, shit. I have no idea how she found out about that. I made sure to keep my relationship with Tamae strictly confidential. Top secret. The details of my relationship with Tamae are metaphorically locked up in the most secure file on the world's most isolated computer. Even the world's best hacker couldn't crack the code on what my relationship to Tamae is. Or so I thought. "I won't ask how you figured that out. But don't go crazy, okay?" I was hoping my plea would reach her. "So you really do have a girlfriend, huh? I knew something was up when you suddenly left the inn for three days. I was just bluffing, but my suspicions are confirmed. Looks like I'll have to find and kill her." I fell right into her trap. "How about you lighten up, Noriko."
"Sorry, I've already decided that any girl that opposes me must die." After hearing her speak of killing my girlfriend, I was suddenly reminded that I am Sasaki "Harem Protagonist" Yuji, and I'm super overpowered. "Noriko, if you touch my girlfriend, your left arm will be forfeit." It wasn't very nice of me to target poor Noriko with such threats, but it wouldn't be the first time, and she started it. "Jeez Yuji, you're so mean. All I was trying to do was get rid of the obstacle in the way of us being together forever." Noriko spoke. "Yeah, and that poses a problem for me. Also, why are you on top of me?" I guess I hadn't added that detail yet, sorry. "Because what guy doesn't want to be waken up with a beautiful girl on top of him?"
"This guy. Rather, it's great that you're taking initiative, but this isn't how you do it." What I've learned is that anything I say that's remotely flirtatious makes Noriko so distracted with her own "Yuji just said something nice to me" ecstacy that it opens a window for my escape. Every time. Without fail. So I made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. Kawakami Miwa, the big busted shinigami, was there to greet me.
"Good morning. how was your wake up call?"
"Did you orchestrate that?"
"Nope, I just heard. Thin walls. And floors."
"Dammit. I hoped no one had heard that."
"Hey Yuji, let's go out on a date sometime."
"Why are you suddenly interested?"
"Because I've had zero character development since chapter five."
"What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall?"
"Don't do it, only you're allowed to because you're telling the story."
"That's right. And don't worry about character development, I'm sure it will happen soon enough. Also, don't start to think it's my fault that you haven't been established as a solid character. There's a certain someone you can blame that on."
"I know." Did you catch that, you know who?
Miwa added "By the way, there's some things on the counter that came for you." As I approached the counter expecting the worst, as I do in all situations, the worst was realized. I was so caught up with my "business" that I had forgotten to pay the bills. Forget my greatest battle being against the Chui kingdom beastmen attacking Shiramaki, the true battle was on the brink of emerging; Yuji vs. the elements. No bills equals no power. "Miwa, have you found a way to convert Goza to Yen?"
Miwa tilted her head back, glared at me, and said "That's your job." I couldn't believe the attitude on this freeloader. "I don't remember you paying rent. I'm letting you stay here for free, so the least you can do is help find a way to turn these useless metal circles I get as my paycheck into real money."
"Like I told you before, just shop in the afterlife."
"That's not the point! I can't pay my bills in the afterlife, nor can I pay them with Goza. Plus I'm never going back to the afterlife. You'd think that whoever's in charge of the governing authority in the underworld would have thought of opening a bank here that deals with Goza."
"Fine, fine, I'll figure something out. But only because you let me live here for free. It's not like I care about you and hate seeing you struggle or anything." Is Miwa a closet tsundere?
The problem of the bills was delayed. An easy task for an expert procrastinator such as myself. Pushing aside the issues suddenly laid in front of me is my area of expertise. I, Sasaki Yuji, have been procrastinating for my whole life. I procrastinated by birth by making my parents (not that I care about them) wait 32 hours before I finally came out. I procrastinated my death by becoming a spirit exorcist. If that isn't commitment to the art of procrastinating, I don't know what is. I've even procrastinated my procrastination, which transcends the very definition of procrastinating itself. Procrastinate. Procrastinating. Procrastinated. Procrastination. The art of delaying or postponing an event from occurring. Something which I am good at. I'm not the only one. The one known as Arata Tsubasa is also really good at procrastination. Far from on par with me, of course. Nevertheless, she's excellent at it. She earned her reputation with me as an expert procrastinator fair and square. She did it very elegantly. Tsubasa had hidden herself from me for nine years, before making an appearance. She told me that the reason she waited so long to introduce herself to me wasn't because she couldn't, but purely because she didn't feel like it. It upsets me a little that she was aware of my existence this whole time and never bothered to say hi (Such was the case with Izumi, Mochizuki Kiyomi, and Tamae), but she is dedicated to procrastination, and for that she earned my respect. The issue of how she concealed her presence is a different matter.
After metaphorically uttering a sigh of relief, I went back up to my room which Noriko had vacated by the time I returned. This was when Tsubasa made her first appearance; while I was relaxing on my bed. A shattering sound rang in my ears, and I looked to my right. The dresser on that side of the room had shattered. What remained were a pile of wood scraps, bolts, screws, hinges, and the girl sitting on top of them. This was not my first experience with girls appearing out of nowhere. I had to deal with Noriko and Rin surprise attacking me with their "love" constantly since they moved in, so I was surprisingly calm in this situation. "One hell of an entrance." I said. "Sorry, I saw no other way of getting out of that drawer." was the response I got.
"I'm Sasaki Yuji."
"I know. I've known who you are for a long time."
"This isn't even close to the most shocking thing that's happened to me, so I won't question how you know me."
"That's good for now."
"...Yeah."
"So, your name?"
"I'm Arata Tsubasa. More accurately, I am the pair of reading glasses you kept in your dresser drawer."