From the moment I rst met Akari until the moment we separated I thought we were both
alike that was around three years between elementary four and six. Both of our fathers relocated
a lot due to work and we had both arrived at the same elementary school in Tokyo. I had moved
to Tokyo from Nagano when I was in elementary three and Akari moved from Shizuoka while she
was in elementary four. Even now I remember how tense and nervous she looked as she stood in
front of the blackboard on her rst day at school. She stood there hands clasped neatly together
in front of her as the spring light shone through the classroom windows on her, casting a shadow
from her shoulder up all the way to her long hair.
Her lips were nervously pursed together bright
red, her unblinking eyes wide open as her line of sight was xed onto a single spot before her.
She reminded me of my own expression when I arrived a year ago and immediately I felt we were
closer to each other. I think I was the one that spoke to her rst and we quickly got along.
Akari was the only one who had the same strong opinions as I did about how students who
were brought up in Setagaya seemed more mature, how hard it was to breathe within the crowds
at the station, how surprisingly unpleasant tap water tasted. To us, they were all problems.
We were small and were prone to falling ill so we preferred staying in the library than being in
the playgrounds and that was why physical education classes were very unpleasant for us.
Both
Akari and I were like adults who preferred to enjoy having a conversation with someone or to
read a book. At the time my father was working at a bank and we were living in a company
owned apartment and, perhaps it was the same for Akari which was why we went the same way
back home. Naturally as if we needed each other, we always spent our breaks and after school
time together.
Of course, we were teased by many of our classmates a lot. Now that I look back, the way
they acted and the things they said to us were really just something kids commonly do but at
that time, I couldn't really handle those situations very well and every time something happened,
I was hurt. The need we had for each other grew stronger because of that.
One day, something happened. I had gone to the toilet and was on my way back to the
classroom when I saw Akari standing alone in front of the blackboard. On the board there
was a drawing of an umbrella with both Akari and my own name written underneath (that
could be considered harassment now I think about it), while her classmates were standing afar
murmuring to each other, staring at Akari. She had gone up to the blackboard trying to stoptheir harassment but was probably too embarrassed and had stopped half way. I grew sti at
the sight of her standing like that and without a word I walked into the classroom, grabbed the
duster and quickly wiped o the drawing. I didn't know why but I grabbed Akari's hand and
we ran out of the classroom. We could hear the voices behind us getting excited but we ignored
them and continued running. Even I couldn't believe how bold I was to do what I did but I
remembered how the softness of Akari's hand made my heart throb so hard, I was almost dizzy
and for the rst time, I felt there was nothing in the world to be afraid of. I was sure many more
bad things were still to come in the rest of our lives but no matter what it was whether it was
transferring between schools, taking exams, going to a foreign land or feeling uneasy meeting
new people, as long as Akari was there I would be able to endure it all. I think we were still too
young to call it love but at the time, it was clear I liked Akari and I could clearly feel that Akari
liked me too. As we ran with our hands held tightly together, the more I was certain of that
feeling. As long as we had each other no matter what was going to happen, we strongly believed
there was nothing to be frightened of.
For three years those feelings continued to stay strong as Akari and I spent time together. We
both decided we would attend the same junior high school that wasn't far from our residences
and studied hard, spending more and more time together. We probably became aware of how
more mentally mature we were than other children and that we were introverted, caught up in
our own little world but we were convinced it was all part of preparing ourselves for our junior
high school life. We were going to graduate from elementary school away from the classmates
we didn't get along with and start a whole new junior high life with new students and our world
was going to grow bigger. We also hoped that it would help us clearly ascertain and express the
strong feelings we had for each other. It might be the time when we will be able to express our
love to each other. The distance between us and our surroundings, the distance between Akari
and I would surely grow smaller. We were going to have more power and we were going to have
more freedom.
Now that I think about it, perhaps we knew that we were going to lose something when we
kept exchanging bits of knowledge with each other. Clearly we were captivated by each other
and wished to be together forever but perhaps it was because we transferred schools so many
times we knew at the same time that that wish couldn't come true and felt fear in our hearts.
Maybe we tried to leave as much memories of ourselves with each other because we knew one
day we wouldn't be together any more.
Indeed in the end, Akari and I were separated and attended dierent junior high schools.
One winter night when we were still in elementary six, Akari called to let me know.
It was rare for Akari to call because we hardly ever talked to each other by phone and it was
late (at the time anyway which was around nine o'clock). I had a bad feeling when my mother
told me it was Akari and handed the phone to me.
"I'm sorry, Takaki-kun," Akari said in a tiny little voice. What followed were words that I
didn't want to hear or believe.
We can't go to the same junior high school anymore, she said. She said her father had decided
to move to a small town in the northern part of Kantou to work. She was shaking as if she was
going to cry. I just couldn't understand why. I suddenly felt something burning inside but my
head felt cold. I just couldn't understand why Akari had to tell me this.