"What. . . But what about Nishinaka High? They've already accepted you there," I nally
managed to say.
"He says he will arrange for me to go to Tochigi. . . I'm sorry."
I could hear the sound of a car drive by in the background which meant she was calling from
a public telephone box. Even though I was in my room, I sat down on the tatami mat, hugging
my knees as if I could feel the coldness from there creeping into my ngers. I didn't know what
I should have said to her but felt I had to say something.
"No, it's not your fault Akari. . . "
"I told him I wanted to stay with my aunt in Katsushika so that I could stay but he said I
had to be older rst. . . "
As I heard Akari try hard to stop herself from crying I suddenly wanted to hang up because
I didn't want to hear it.
Before I knew it I had cried out loudly to her, ". . . I know what you're saying already!" I
could hear her gasp yet, it didn't stop me from continuing.
"Forget about it. . . " I said to her in a rm voice. "Just forget about it. . . " I repeated
desperately trying to hold back my own tears. Why. . . Why did it always have to turn out this
way?
After ten seconds of silence Akari managed to say "sorry" again with her sobbing voice. I
kept the phone pressed hard against my ear with my head hanging down. I couldn't take it away
from my ear and I couldn't hang up either. I knew what I had said over the phone had hurt
Akari. But there was nothing I could do. I hadn't learned how to control my feelings at the time.
After the unpleasant call I had with Akari nally ended, I just sat there hugging my knees.
Over the next couple of days, I felt very bad. I was very ashamed of myself that I didn't
manage to say anything nice to Akari even though I knew she must have been very worried.
With such feelings still lingering in our minds, Akari and I separated awkwardly on the day of
our graduation ceremony. That day right after the ceremony, she had approached me and said
in her pleasant voice, "So this is farewell. . . " but I had hung my head in shame, unable to say
anything back. I had thought to myself it couldn't be helped. I had depended upon Akari up
until now. I had planned on trying to become more mature because she was going to be there
with me but now I couldn't. I was still very much a young child. I thought to myself I can't stay
like this forever and let an invisible force take everything away from me. Even if Akari had no
choice, we weren't supposed to be separated like this. We were never supposed to be separated.
Those unsuppressed feelings remained with me as the new junior high semester began. I had
to face those uncomfortable new days alone even if I didn't want to. Even though I should have
been attending the same school with Akari, I began attending alone, slowly making new friends,
joining the soccer club and working hard. The days were a lot busier than my elementary school days but that was good for me because it kept my mind occupied. When I had time alone I
would feel very uncomfortable just like in the past and clearly I couldn't bare the feeling at all.
That was why I tried to stay proactive by spending most of my time with friends, went straight
to bed as soon as I nished my homework and woke up early so that I could focus on training
at my club.
I was sure Akari too was busying herself every day at her new home. I wished those days
would help her forget about me. I was the one that hurt her when we parted after all. I too
should have forgotten about Akari. We should have learned how to do that by now after all our
experiences of transferring schools so many times and being separated from others.