My eyes opened. Nothing. Blinding light. Nothing. White noise. My eyes shut. Nothing. Reopened. Doctors running around like headless chickens. Clipboards. Closed. Open. Shaw snapping his fingers in my face. Nothing. I frowned at the emptiness. I couldn't move.
It felt like I was watching the world from a window. Like a puppet looking through a keyhole I didn't fit into anymore, I felt lost. I was in the wasteland of my own mind, bundled together with forgotten memories. Ejected and discarded, my soul was thrown away: my own body wasn't mine anymore. Something or someone else had taken my place.
I watched through the glass of my eyes as they stared blankly at the Doctor. Recognition was slow as molasses but with it came my senses. Salty, bitter, sweet; waves of understanding crashed over me as my fingers registered a movement my mind did not. 𝐼𝓉'𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝓉𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝑔𝑒.
Sight, hearing, smell, touch, and senses I'd never had before breathed into my body like cold water; like opening your eyes for the very first time, I caught a glimpse of the world in a completely different light. My perspective had changed with a perception that had heightened to a magnitude I felt uncomfortable with. 𝐵𝓁𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁, 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝓊𝑔𝑒. 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒶𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓂.
I strained further against my looking glass, torn between horror and wonder, as my mind's eye shifted its focus. Shaw was in front of me, mouth moving a mile a minute, but that wasn't what I was interested in. Instead, I zoned in on his memories. Staring at him, I was a slave to my instincts as they prodded and pushed their limits. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁? Suddenly, I was slammed back into reality.
"Veronica? Can you hear me?" His loud words came out rushed and panicked. 𝒱𝑒𝓇𝑜𝓃𝒾𝒸��? 𝒲𝒽𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒶 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒? My lips parted but I didn't make a sound. I blanched. I can't speak.
"Crystal clear." My voice came out hoarse, like I had been screaming for hours, as it spoke words that weren't my own. It was strong, stronger than before; the melodic tones were like a siren. And I knew exactly why. 𝐼𝓉'𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌.
My face was set in a hard, calculating expression as she took in the face of the Doctor. The smile of marvel and malice on Shaw's face was enough to send me reeling from the window. 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒮𝒽𝒶𝓌 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈, 𝒮𝒽𝒶𝓌 𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈.
And in that moment, I knew I had lost. Things would never be the same again. I was now the rabid animal in a cage. That serum had swapped our places and it was here that I would remain until I forgot to exist. Andy was lost to me, as was Genevieve. Subject Xero was lost to me as well. My body was that of a Red Viper, the first of her kind, but since we were trapped in the same vessel, like two sides of a coin, I would never be free.
I had been out for over five weeks. In those weeks I had flat lined nine times, but every time I did, she would pull me back. She saved my life. Well, I guess she saved her own. Nevertheless, it meant that I would forever stare through this looking glass like a genie in a bottle; a worse fate than death.
"This is a miracle. Merging two minds into one body is unheard of." A whisper.
"Her value just tripled. We have both assets in one." A thought.
"She's the first successful Red Viper and Splice." A reminder.
Frowning, she tried to sift through words and thoughts. I couldn't tell them apart. It was frustrating and exhausting.
"Subject X, I need you to listen very closely." The pungent stench of decay slapped us both in the face, as my presence was called to attention. An awful waft approached me as he smiled, as if I could smell the sickness in his mind, the rotting away of his conscience. It was repulsive.
"Who is Subject X?" My lips moved of their own accord. I scrambled to restrain them in vain. 𝒢𝑜𝒹, 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓌?
"Veronica, Subject X is you, the old blooded you. The point of the New Blood Serum was to wipe your past self to make room for you. But Xero was, or better yet, is stronger than we thought. She fought the NBS until you both gave in. Instead of there being a winner, you merged. The first ever Splice." Doctor Shaw explained, looking more like a kid in a candy shop than a professor.
She frowned in confusion. 𝒲𝒶𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉?
"Xero. I need you to listen very carefully." Grabbing my attention, Shaw seemed calm but his sickness burned my nostrils. The acidic, harsh scent of rot shocked me to the core. Something was off. I felt sick to my stomach.
Slowly, like waking up from a deep slumber, I slipped to the surface of my own mind. She backed away, allowing me to change positions with her and take the reins of my body back. I sighed gratefully as I wiggled my toes and flexed my fingers, blissfully alleviating the anxiety of our separation. Inhaling deeply, I basked in the extent of our awareness, but as I did I noticed her. I could feel her presence in the back of my mind like a pacing wolf. A breath down my neck.
She wasn't far behind me.
Swallowing down the concoction of confusion and fear like a shot of liquor, I nodded soundlessly for him to continue.
"Xero, we've run countless tests on you ever since we gave you the NBS. It turns out, you're even more beautiful than I thought you could be. However, there are some hurdles we need to overcome."
"Of course there are." I shrugged, not resisting the urge to roll my eyes. 𝐼𝓉'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 ��𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓌𝒶𝓎.
Shaw sighed with a ghost of a sickly smile at my attitude but even that disappeared as he continued to explain. He looked diseased. Like something was eating him from the inside out.
"Your body accepted the serum which is both good and bad. Because it wasn't overcome by it, we have a problem. A delightful problem. You have two minds. Two sets of memories. Two sets of DNA. The human and the animal. What you know, the animal won't and what the animal knows, you won't. Not unless you willingly share that information with it. Isn't that incredible?" He beamed, practically bouncing out of his seat at his declaration.
I gulped.
"How?" I questioned, not really wanting to know the answer. By the look on Shaw's face, he seemed to be loving it which was never a good sign.
I was terrified. I didn't want any of this but it's not like that mattered in this world anyway.
𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖏𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖏𝖔𝖇 𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖊.
A hard voice stated from my subconscious. I gasped softly, not bothering to search for the source of the voice with my eyes. I knew it was her. She sounded like me, sounded as normal as the voice in your head does. Her words were like spiders running down my back. I hated it but she was right. I gritted my teeth and hardened my gaze.
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝑜𝒷 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝑒.
"We're going to have to put you through a lot of pain to bridge the gap between you two. I thought of other alternatives that could have been less strenuous but we don't have the time. Nor will it be as fun." He muttered, his face plastered with mischief.
"You're hiding something from me." I snapped, seeing straight through his mask like a needle through cloth.
"Never give them what they want, Xero. They want you to train Veronica, teach her our human ways and merge you both. Don't. Let her run wild as she is, the way she is meant to. That anger, the power that's running in your veins. If you let it consume you, you will know true freedom."
"You're taking the piss aren't you? You, my jailer want to talk to me about freedom?" I snapped, drilling my eyes into his soul.
"Cut to the fucking chase, asshole." She looked with me, searching for the signs I was seeing too. There was something he wasn't telling me. I could smell it.
"You're being deployed, Xero. You're leaving the Institute." My stomach dropped as my eyebrows shot to my hairline.
𝒱𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓃𝓃𝓎.
"Once you complete stage two, you will be sent to a corporation of the Benefactor's choosing. There, you'll have a contractor and you are to follow orders." Shaw stated, tears in his eyes glistening as happiness and pride filled him.
"You, my creation, will finally be shown to the world and they will know my name. Finally, it'll be set in motion." A shadow crossed his face as the radiant light slowly dimmed. Night was falling. A night I sure as hell didn't want to see.
This was a game. A chess match in which I was merely a pawn. The clogs in my mind were turning. Instantly, I began to run scenarios and situations in which I could prevent this. None were reasonable.
𝕹𝖔 𝖊𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖊.
"When?" I bit out.
"When she gets an affinity." He smiled.
It was then that it dawned on me. There is more to this Institute than I could see; I was using the wrong eyes. Much more to it than I could understand; I was using the wrong mind. No one could be trusted. Not Shaw, not the Benefactor. None of them. All they wanted was fat pockets filled with empty promises with which they would buy gold laced handkerchiefs to wipe the blood off their hands. No one would stick their neck out for me.
I had to be independent. Completely self-sufficient, I couldn't need anyone. I couldn't trust anyone. To get comfortable, to trust was to die. I am on my own. No one is going to save my soul.
I'm just a Subject after all.