"Let's not." Ezra groaned, clutching his stomach as his eyes roamed the floor like scurrying rats. The bodies scattered like saw dust were a mixture of dead and alive, but little baby Ezra couldn't tell. He'd never seen one before.
Before I could shed light on the situation, his skin turned pasty white and then a shade of green. 𝒰𝒽 𝑜𝒽.
"Oh fuck, Ezra, don't do that." Andy pleaded, sensing the cologne of vomit in this throat. "Ezra, it's gonna be fine. Don't worry, man, it's calm."
I gasped, lifting my hand to my lips as I tried my hardest not to laugh. Stumbling to the corner of the room, Ezra convulsed with the grotesque mixture crawling up his throat.
"Come on, man." Andreas sighed, raising his arms in desperation, but Ezra was too far gone. Keeling over, he hurled his guts out, a chunky white concoction spilling onto his shoes and permeating the room with its odour. The stench alone was enough to make me gag.
Andy groaned as his head fell back. Along with the vomit, came my laugh sputtering out of me all the same, as it bubbled out of my chest. He smacked me lightly in the ribs. 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮. My smile shattered. Looking back at Shaw, I watched him take in the sheer amount of blood, bodies, vomit and our unbroken skin.
His eyes glistened with a sheen of awe as he stared harder at me.
𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑.
Recoiling as if slapped, I retracted from his mind. 𝒩𝑜. 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌. The familiarity of his voice in my head came uninvited as it invaded my personal space. As if he could read me like an open book, he cleared his throat uncomfortably. The sunlight was gone again, concealed by the shadows I was familiar with. Shadows I knew. Shadows I preferred.
"How about a compromise?" Shaw suggested, pulling a face of disgust at the sour stench of Ezra's lunch.
"Go on." I muttered, protectively slipping to Andreas' side in response to the lack of movement in the room.
"He may join us."
Andy's eyes never left me. I shrugged as he slowly nodded. 𝓨𝓸𝓾'𝓭 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓯 𝓘'𝓶 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾. 𝒲𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽? 𝓘 𝓰𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝔀𝓮'𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓾𝓽.He agreed.
"Marvellous." Shaw grinned sadistically as he gestured to the scanner.
I gulped slightly at the look on his face, before resigning to my fate and placing my hand on the scanner. The titanium doors slid open, as they did I steeled my gaze and dragged my limbs like molasses. With a huff, he led us into the Clearing, leaving the other guards and an unconscious Ezra behind. I figured the kid wouldn't be able to stomach what was about to happen. I didn't think my Andy could either but there was no turning back now and no convincing him otherwise. He was almost as stubborn as I am.
As we entered the familiar space, I found an unfamiliar object at its centre: a darkened glass contraption though which I could see the walls behind it. Shaped like a coffin, the lid split down the middle and opened to the sides, revealing a pit large enough for only myself. As I stared into a dreadful, murky darkness, I found my restrains lifted and my ankles unbound. Even my collar was removed, something that hadn't occurred in a while now; the feeling of my bare neck felt cold in the air.
"The fuck's this?" Andreas stole the words right out of my mouth as he roughly rapped his knuckles against the glass.
"Don't touch. It's a Sim and we'll be using it to conduct our investigation today. If you don't mind." Shaw snapped harshly, as he observed Andy's changing expression. He was studying him, learning, and I didn't like it one bit.
"Let's just get this over with." I mumbled, anxiously shifting my weight on the balls of my feet. The sooner the better.
Andy didn't reply.
"Time's ticking, Subject Xero, so please step inside."
I gulped. 𝕿𝖎𝖒𝖊'𝖘 𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌.
Turning around one last time, I looked up at Andy's reassuring smile. Like cold water on a burn, he soothed my nerves with his calm complexion and I gathered the courage to step inside. Laying on my back, I set my feet against the bottom of the coffin and found that it was a perfect fit. The fact that there was room enough to move either side of me, had my stomach sinking like a rock in a pond.
I gulped again, placing my hands against the glass as it closed in on me. The warmth of Andy's hands met me through the surface. Closing my eyes, I focussed on drawing those calloused fingers on my skin in my mind's eye.
𝓘'𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓻𝓲𝓰���𝓽 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮.
𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌.
"Let's begin."
I didn't know what I was in for when Shaw said those words. I wasn't aware of the clauses, hadn't read the fine print. If only I had paid more attention to the details I was handed, maybe I could have prepared myself more sufficiently. If I knew I was going to swim I would have packed a float, but I didn't and now I found myself drowning.
Hell.
It was Hell. All nine rings of Dante's Inferno were exposed to me in that glass coffin: a contraption that seemed more like a portal than a technology of this plane. It shone bright and black at once, vomiting the bowels of hell fire onto my skin. Like clothes in a tumble dryer, I was thrown about, gallivanting the barren ruins of Hell as the black tarred souls tore at my flesh like hungry vultures. Hallucinations of the highest degree plagued me as the torment grew unbearable.
Trapped between worlds, I tripped and stumbled on the tightrope, bouncing between horrors and nightmares as the crescendo of cruelty reached a fever pitch. It was Pandora's Box, only this time all it held was suffering. Screaming, crying, pleading only made them enjoy it more so I swallowed them down until my blood ran cold.
Bordering insanity, I was knocking on Devil's door, until Andy would pull me back and remind me that none of this was real. 𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷, 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂. 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓬𝓪𝓷'𝓽 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾. He was so close. Like water when I burned at the state, or oxygen when I drowned in the sea, he fixed everything. A whisper in my mind that brought me back to the surface. Together with Veronica, who healed my self-inflicted gashes and took the reins when I descended into madness, we pulled through.
We made it out alive. Blurry eyes stared out into the light.
𝐼𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒟𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒?
Andy's face shadowed mine in a blur. I couldn't focus. Muffled voices surrounded him but I could only focus on his scent: cinnamon, honeycomb and dark chocolate. The world disappeared around them as my senses sharpened to a needle's eye. I felt weightless as my body was scooped out by a familiar pair of arms. Even though my skin was raw and sore from my teeth and claws, his touch soothed the pain. Cradling me into his chest, I could feel it reverberate with choked up breaths and stifled cries. I clung onto his skin like it was my lifeline.
Shaw didn't know what we were to each other. He didn't understand what he was doing. My breaking point was a line I could hardly see in the distance, crossed many moons ago, but Andreas? His was within a tiptoe.
Water. Lukewarm water rushed over my bare skin, instantly snapping me awake with a cry. I remembered a dull ache of trauma deep within my soul that groaned to life with a haunting snap of a whip. Screaming and thrashing around, I was met by an iron grip and soothing words.
"It's me, X! It's me."
Forcing me to look up at him, I connected with blue eyes. Andy. My Andy. Repeating the words like a silent prayer, I relaxed immediately. 𝐼𝓉'𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝒜𝓃𝒹𝓎. Taking in my surroundings slowly, I realised that I was in a large, warm bath. It was soothing and scented. Lavender. My favourite. Running my hands over the waves, slowly, the events began to settle like dust after a storm. The scent of trauma still lingering in the shadows, I felt myself crumble. Hot tears scorched my soft skin as the rolled like waterfalls. Wracks of pain raced through me like hot needles.
In silence he attempted to console me, knowing full well that no words would suffice. None would amount to the grief I felt for my youth, the physical pain I was feeling and the futility of the two. Instead, he softly washed my blood caked skin down with a white loofah, turning the slightly purple tinged water a murky black.
Cleaning my wounds, he hummed to me softly until my weeping died down. Scratches, bites, burns. He was gentle with me. Caring. He handled me as if I was a porcelain princess, ready to shatter. I was so fragile, chipping away at the edges and fraying at the seams. So with his soft hands and gentle kisses, he put me back together. Day after day. Test after test. Year after year.
My sweetheart.