Frost on the windows made it difficult to look inside, all I could see was the green light on the alarm but knew someone had to be in the home. I briefly tried to recall seeing anything in the car that could be used for a weapon but was steadfast about getting through the door, with or without. Who would be inside with the blood stained carpet?
I held on to the frame of the house while walking along the uneven and jagged ground, the thin layer of crystals also covered the living room windows on the side of the home and after wiping one with my hand I determined the condensation inside still prevented me from seeing clearly.
After I contemplated dialing 911 I decided to enter---I yet had the key but left the door unlocked just in case. Controlling my nervousness was hopeless, I fumbled at the keyhole apprehensively, unsure of who I would find inside. Finally it unlatched.
Upon entering I noticed the blood stain had almost turned black, also it smelled like death and was unbearably hot, someone had turned up the thermostat. The apples remained on the island, but had been moved back among the rotten ones. I noticed 11 seconds was on the microwave timer and the door was ajar, the light shone through it's tint as I tiptoed on the carpet. Flies buzzed against the glass on one of the windows while silhouettes of dead ones aligned the sill
Oddly it was quiet. The second hand on the clock ticked rhythmically and sounded throughout but no other sounds could be heard. Maybe I was tripping I considered.
While reluctantly walking down the dim hallway I noticed the storage room door was open, I could see inside, the weapons were still in place. Naturally if someone would have come they would have taken the state of the art guns, I concluded I was on pins and needles and was nearing a breakdown, what I had done couldn't be rectified.
As I thought to make my way to get one of the guns I heard movement in the bedroom.
My heart began to pound harder than before in my chest, I felt it would explode as it sped up, I then cautiously approached the slightly opened room door. The lamp on the nightstand sat close to the edge but was on, certainly I hadn't moved it. I became circumspect but dared myself to enter, I was pissed and knew someone was inside. Why had I come? Where was Lawrence? I texted...
Why hadn't he mentioned being there?
I looked around but saw no one, however the windows were opened and the curtain swayed as they saturated the rain. I giggled to myself out of embarrassment but knew I hadn't opened them. Someone was testing my patience. I yelled "COME OUT YA DAMN COWARD!"
Slowly I was losing grip with sanity I admitted to myself and pulled the windows closed.
Trenton's phone was still inside of the bag along with a few others, I'd known he could monitor the home.
I turned off the light before proceeding back down the hallway, ignoring the prison calls and text messages that flooded my phone.
Friday February 29th replayed over and over, Redd's dick was still wet when they had come. I texted Shonda, the message was delivered and read.
I walked inside of my sons' room and looked around, I missed them so much. It was an ache that couldn't be put into words, I'd provoked our separation but never understood why Trenton wanted to kill me in the first place? Why would he have mentioned a divorce had he known about Troy---had he said it out of anger initially?
The divorce papers were delivered to Mama, I still hadn't laid eyes on them and knew I likely had a warrant for the $13,000 check. As I exited the room and closed the door the front door chimed, a surge of fear impelled me to stand still but curiosity prompted me run toward the front room. Before I had someone quickly closed the door behind them, I couldn't see through the window for the precipitation when I finally made it. The labryinth of perplexity I was entrapped intensified my fears but penance fueled me to discover who had come inside unauthorized. There was no vehicle outside when I arrived, surely they were still in sight. I opened the front door to see no one, not even a trace in the rain that seemed unending. Weak kneed and woozy I walked to the island, I would die if I didn't eat. Afraid to stay in the home I planned my trip to Shreveport without clothes and walked toward the alarm, someone knew the code. I couldn't take anymore, I was weary---inside I was already dead. Who would forgive me? Did I have to come in contact with other demons to see my own? Did it have a name? My clothes were wet and I was becoming congested but wouldn't give up, I wanted my children badly.
Savant I was, yet I needed answers, mainly for why I'd killed Terrell. I'd planned to kill him, it was evident and I had coerced him to meet me in a text message from Redd's phone, what had he done to provoke the rage? 8 months had passed before they'd even come---hadn't made sense.
The Bless This Home plaque hung by the front door, I'd purchased it to bless the home.
Limbo and tombs floated, so had timeless, hisses, and hotel.
Already disturbed, my condition and capabilities to decipher shit would eventually drive me off of a bridge. I pictured Dario screaming amidst the flame but who were the others, how many were there? Something would not allow regret to pervade my judgement, the home was evil. The energy was violent enough to be kinetic, I'd felt it experientially, my presence had stopped the cradle.
The warning chimes counted down, I closed the door before I triggered the alarm after exiting the home---but noticed a set of footprints in the eroded mud down the steep driveway. According to the size they belonged to a woman. Perhaps it was the mailwoman I pondered as I retrieved the mail but who the fuck had come inside?
I sadly thought about Carmella as I got in the car, in an attempt to adjust the heat the Calliope shrilled from the speakers again, sending me nearly into a mental collapse. It was a must I learned to operate the dash but what was the source of the music! I listened to the bone chilling tune, it sounded like the introduction to death! Over and over it played, it's looped notes repeated in frigorific increments and became more spine tingling with each verse. While I tried to turn down the volume the neighbor came outside and said "Happy Holidays" I ignored her greeting and closed the door after turning the horrifying music down but as I did I thought I heard children screaming amidst the music. Why had the Calliope been chosen for circuses and ice cream trucks I wondered.
As I drove down Interstate 10 I would briefly close my eyes and picture him burn. The prison call had come in 4 times, I contemplated answering the 5th call but they'd halted.
Martin had destroyed lives, I hadn't known how many.
Did Procell know something he was afraid he would mention? I knew all about him, I thought. He was a spawn and I would fight him ass tooth and nail---Belial was his name.
At wit's end I called Mama, she answered. There were times when I considered I should love her regardless but what I hadn't known hurt me tremendously---she hadn't protected me from anything! She would get drunk and sugar coat shit but I was fed up, I was so enraged and wanted to see the dogs eat her face while she was alive.
"Hazel! My sec---"
BITCH SHUT UP! U GAVE ME TO THE DEVIL!
"MAMA, WE NEED TO TALK! WHERE ARE U?"
"I've just come inside from fellowshipping with---"
"WHAT DID U DO? WHAT HAPPENED, WHY AM I LIKE I AM?"
"What do u mean Sweetheart, I told u long ago honey u are different because God made---"
I was going to drag her across hell's foundation myself and refused to be the type of mother she was!
"U know what I mean! Louisa McNamara told me EVERYTHING!"
"Darling u don't understand---I only went to her because I had been having a hard time conceiving. She knew your grandmother---your great grandmother too honey! She was a friend of the family and said it had to be done ritualistically. See honey, he was different and there were no strings attached. Your father never knew---but when he would accuse u of the things, oh it was so long ago, I knew it was a demon u had inside and I had to get u help, especially when u became pregnant, they couldn't find out."
I'd been molested as a child, I saw the looks! They hadn't even wanted their daughters to play with me! I perfectly remembered the day on the monkey bars, Porsha and I had played...no one cared.
"Mama things are happening to me, and u KNOW WHY! WHAT DID U DO? What did LOUISA DO?"
"She tricked me! It had nothing to do with u, or me---it started years ago! She cursed your grandmother's land and called on evil. People claimed a spirit had manifest in the flesh. Louisa felt betrayed and wanted revenge, Martin was born with your grandfather's eyes. Those people are not Godly, I made a mistake but only she could repair the damage Martin had done. As u grew u were so promiscuous, I saw how u would entice your father, I -I just couldn't stay sober and control u no matter how hard I prayed!"
HOW HAD I ENTICED HIM! I REMEMBERED THE MOLESTATION! I was fuming at that point!
"U had a demon, at first I paid no attention to it and thought u were just brilliant. The tests, the experiments all rendered the same results, u became their subject. We moved away but I knew I had to do something, they'd begun to treat u for epilepsy. U needed minimal brain activity to control it, I never did anything to hurt u and didn't know it would only make it worse, u would talk about the voices and give them all names, God there were so many! I had to find Martin, he said u were possessed---but he could help u; she had promised her children's children for prosperity and u would soon become 6 years old, she had to die AND BURN! Hazel, she knew things too---and when we'd gone in the room to carry out our mission she was gone already, she'd removed the oxygen and done it herself! I knew it wouldn't work then but we cremated her anyway! I'd gone to see Martin, he said feed him the ashes to reverse what she had done.
See Baby, I just wish---u know, he was a good man and he saved me! He deserved to be happy, and I recognized him the night he found me. I remembered him from the job, I was so thankful for him but when Kerri arrived I knew she wasn't his child, Martin had significantly left his mark."
The pain wouldn't subside as I listened to her drunk ass, I was becoming angrier by the second.
"I will never forget a woman had come for your father to lay hands on her child in the middle of the night, Martin's own child---she too had been, well some things just can't be undone. I watched the mirror as a demon exited the child's body, slither across the floor and into the kitchen. Inside of the child were many more. It frightened me as if he was my own and I considered what u were up against."
I somewhat remembered the boy who had come and the demon in the mirror...go on.
"On your 6th birthday your father began to kill, he thought he was protecting u after he had begun to see them too and would baptize to identify them--they would show themselves in God's water, the succubi would come one by one, it wasn't him, they took advantage of him as u did! He thought teaching u to kill them would protect u and he taught u the Bible but studied a book to cast out whatever possessed u, one day it disappeared. He would take u off but u would return so unbothered by what u had seen and done. I pray everyday but Im only human. I've given up on Kerri, before I found out I was pregnant with her Louisa cursed Martin's children's children, her children will never live...if they do they will be demonic. I remember the night I conceived her, something dark had come inside of the room, his energy was like no other and I was so young, I didn't know what had happened, later he spoke about it as if something would use him---his body, his capabilities were immeasurable and they would join, I could feel them all while I watched him beside the bed of vines. The eyes of fire stared at me in my lust filled state, I took pleasure in what was occurring but they became angry at my gratification. The pleasure became torture. I'd fled and there he was to save me after I'd laid down to die. I--I need to go, the memories are too much, I just miss your father."
I told her I needed to know more.
There was no way to cut ties with him, he made sure I would need him and then his mother. Martin saw u and knew what she'd done but said she would return for u---u didn't belong to me but Satan, u were fluently reading labels of packages on the aisles at three years old. I held u as he unbuttoned his peacoat, his interest hadn't been for his own child who stood at my side. He'd denied her even with his mark and said she belonged to many as I had laid down with but it was he who contaminated my womb. A withered tree can not bring forth good fruit he would say which was true. Maybe I shouldn't have given up on u, but I'd made mistakes I couldn't correct. I saw plenty in the dark, it made me seek Light."
The rain was coming down but I continued to drive, every wound I had ached and as she went on about Louisa calling on powers of darkness I zoned out and suddenly became frightened, what if what she was saying was true?
"...land, your grandmother began to see many things, some she referred to as unspeakable. Snakes and fire in the trees that burned but didn't consume the branches. It was stolen from them and they were put out on the street. Your father spoke about them not making sacrifices, the dirt needed blood and a demon named Murmur would grant desires and riches."
As Sharon spoke I answered the incoming call without warning. after the recording Martin spoke.
"An old woman I knew would sing a song from the dilapidated window of her home, 'No More Water But Fire Next Time,' had a catchy tune I must say---but I'd never seen it in the book, I searched u know. Again, it is an honor to speak with u and hope all is well; delighted to see u are safe also."
"Martin...what do I owe the honor?"
"Owe the honor?"
He laughed.
"Brilliant. I assume u haven't read the case files. I seem to have run across my nephew today, I don't believe he's built for this life, of course he's always had someone to bail him out. The decisions we make have tendencies to revisit once in a while. Blessed is the child? Good. My concern is your whereabouts, I take it that u have severed your ties in the crescent city and will not be returning? What brought about the suddenness of your departure? I'd looked forward to u reading the files. Have u not been enlightened? Sacrifice is incumbent for gain. Lilith... the filth of the Earth---your wanton and goatish appetite; u seek unfulfillable delectation, enthralling to the undying, yes they too are in the midst when two or more are gathered together in iniquity. The son of evil he shall be, Satan's spawn---beith not that thou womb is impure? Born without likeness of any, but sacrificial. In the season he will appear---the mark on his forehead. How have u killed so many and remained unscathed roaming to and fro? Only foundation can be destroyed, materialistic items and so on but knowledge to achieve more will always remain unless it's taken away. Do u know how it feels to be a vegetable, u have proven yourself ignoble and must recompense at once! My son is of perspicacious ability, and forget not for every action is a reaction."
I could hear him about to crack, he was on the verge, I held the phone quietly.
"Blood. Kinship, what does it mean to u?"
"Martin I really have to go, how can I help u?"
"READ THE DAMN FILE! Turn around and meet Denard, he will give u my case file. From there what's understood doesn't have to be explained! I've come too far, I refuse to give in."
"I can't help u! LEAVE ME ALONE! U HAVE DESTROYED MY WHOLE FAMILY!"
"Your father was born a coward. Now turn back immediately before I have u arrested!"
I just wanted to see my children, it didn't matter if I went to prison, first I needed my babies. The thought of being with them was the only thing keeping me alive. The tears soaked the front of the monogrammed robe. How did Martin even know I was not still in New Orleans, why hadn't he mentioned the home?
"I'll return later. Have u talked to my sister?"
"She is kept. Did u know she had returned home?"
WHAT?
I ended the call and pulled to the side of the interstate, I was nearing I49 and couldn't make it. My airway became narrow as I struggled to breathe. I opened the door after stopping, the 18 wheelers were flying down the lanes making the wind more unbearable than it already was. While leaning on the car the voice said "Die with her, let her bury both of u at once, punish the bitch."
When I turned around to leap out in traffic there wasn't a vehicle in sight. I became so upset, I couldn't even kill myself right, NEVER!
I closed my eyes, my tears felt they would freeze but I pictured my children's face and decided to press on a little while longer.
I considered their words but Daddy had said I could still be saved. As I got inside of the car the calliope sounded, was it a sign?
Fed up I began to beat the steering wheel, it only got louder. I'd completely lost it! I needed help, I just wanted the jacket and the shots, maybe Mama was right all along! Briefly I longed to be put away but when the State Trooper pulled up behind me I panicked, especially when he asked for license insurance and registration.