I wasn't an ordinary bitch nor had I ever lived an ordinary life. I had killed and abused, endured abuse of all kinds and didn't even look forward to being normal any longer, how could I when I didn't even know what the fuck it was? Before Twan I was shitting in one hand and wishing in the other, I had never even been outside of Louisiana. If it could happen, it had already happened to me. Had I ever had a choice?
So many secrets, and it was all evident growing up, Kerri and I had never looked alike, Daddy didn't even treat us the same. I remember when she moved out, she never returned, not even for a visit. We soon lost touch until after she graduated.
I couldn't say that blood was thicker than water, if it was true then it was no telling how the situation with Troy and his uncle would play out, I didn't trust him or his ingenuine offers. He may have been Kerri's father, but that didn't mean he had to give a fuck about me. Surely I would have seen the resemblance beforehand.
If Trenton was dead it was time to execute my plan, first I needed to know if we were legally married and if we were I would begin to look for policies in my name. I called the Caddo Parish courthouse and according to them I was his wife, I was confused. The ceremony had been a surprise, I was tricked, but we were ordained as one. After I'd learned the true Trenton I'd known love hadn't wedded us.
We'd only taken one trip together as forementioned, out of the country. We were on good terms then and it had been brief. Whatever he was tied up in had costed him his life and regardless to whether there was a personal vendetta against me or not, I knew too much.Why would Martin keep me alive? I remembered how Kerri changed her number after I was released, had it been because Boogie was dead? Or not.
I was in turmoil internally, who the fuck could I trust besides Nikki? Not Sharon, or Pam---could I even trust Makil?
I needed more details about his criminal history, I mean---we would soon have a child together right? Why would he have anything to hide? Whatever he wouldn't reveal, Terrica would, there was nothing like a bitter bitch seeking revenge for a past relationship. She would tell everything to make me see shit her way, even if not then, later on. I'd borrowed her number from Troy's phone. She'd actually agreed to meet, I hadn't cared how I looked, I was sure she had once looked like me.
I constantly prayed for protection over my children but I had already been convinced God didn't hear a sinner's prayer. I was undeserving and hadn't asked to be the way I was.
Nikki watched as I scrolled through my phone, she asked if I had baby pictures. She would get high and curious about random shit---indeed not. The youngest picture I had even seen of myself had to be an elementary school picture, there weren't any, Mama said they'd left them all behind I now knew where. I told Nikki no.
I could tell she'd connected with Von, but she hadn't mentioned her children. I began to feel bad for them, and felt it was my fault. She needed to leave, I felt neither of us were safe for some reason and I didn't trust Von. We needed ID's and that was all, even Troy had spoke of getting away from that nigga for a while, "I just want all this shit to die down so he can move around," Troy said seeing how he was all caked up. I felt he faulted me as well, but I didn't see anything wrong with him kicking it with Nikki. When Troy said, " A bitch who ain't never had shit will do anything to get it," he wasn't lying, u could never underestimate one who ain't never been out of the ghetto, but Nikki---was different.
Martin had called twice, I'd informed him I knew, just to see his next approach. He could cut the bullshit, of course he would kill Trenton, he didn't need him if he had me. "Percy wasn't tough enough when it all came down to it. God was the only person who could save him, and that was only for so long."
Oh? What had he meant?
"Sharon only reached out to me once, and never again---she found out she was pregnant after she left, I kept Percy alive so he could do the Lord's work. I never understood how somebody could turn sour, as he had."
I was dealing with a ruthless muthafucka and he spake with no empathy. I had to kill him if I wanted to live, the voices were always right. I relied on them before my own judgement. There were so many.
I'd known Mama had run away from home when she met Daddy, her father was strict, he was a God fearing preacher. She was pregnant, I hadn't known it wasn't by Daddy. She never went back, she couldn't. My father took her in, he soon became a minister but out of fear.
Mama woke Kerri and I up out of our sleep saying we had to leave where ever we had lived. We climbed into the car with Daddy, Grandma was still alive. He had only grabbed what he could put inside and left. Only after so long did he go back to baptize, he said the Lord had led him back there. Nothing good came from it, he'd only saved their souls before he killed them.
Troy knew my intentions, I had exposed my hand and wondered what he would do to stop me, his motive wasn't evident as of yet, I was convinced he had one, however he did not recommend seeking what I felt I was entitled to. The money would compensate my pain and suffering. I recalculated my steps since Trenton was out of the picture, and the thought of Martin having so much control just hadn't sit well with me. I needed to humble his tangle eyed ass and show him wasn't shit gone move until I said so. Troy looked at me as if he read my mind as he entered the room, I rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain. I hated him again. He held his pants at the waist and walked the opposite direction after seeing I wasn't friendly. I knew what he wanted.
Veronica was a smart girl. I didn't know much about Goat, but I'd briefly seen that nigga, she had spoiled her firstborn. The thought induced me to message Sabrina, she'd seen the last message but hadn't responded. Was she still salty? That bitch owed me her life and she would fuck around and get it taken, anybody could get it.
It had been difficult to sleep, when I had tried many thoughts occurred and I missed my children so much, TJ 2 would soon be 3. His father hadn't loved him the way he pretended, he'd never even acknowledged my baby until his altercation with Brown. All along I thought I was tripping, he manipulated the episodes, he knew how to bring them on. He taunted my sanity and tried to reprogram my better judgement, a classic trait in motherless men. It didn't matter how much money he had, he'd died for it, not with it---as Twan had...
The craving for pineapples overpowered my senses, and as Troy spoke to the insurance company I put his social security number in my phone in code, for whatever reason. "I will pay the deductible electronically, is that cool? Yes, from the account ending in 0517". I scrolled through the photos and found the account ending in 0517. It was yet in Veronica's name. Trenton's word replayed in my head, "He would rather reap benefit than---know." I wasn't the most intelligent bitch breathing but it seemed to me Trenton had been right. He had to know.
He seemed unperturbed about the front of the elegant home being destroyed. Nikki hid her disappointment as Von's phone rang, he had recovered it from under the seat of his car upon returning to the RV park, he walked away. I watched him and understood how a bitch could be easily fooled. Either Christy had no complaints, or Nikki had had too many---either way Von pretended to have power, the unaccustomed would have easily been impressed as Nikki was.
The clock was ticking and I knew I had to execute my plan as well as eliminate anyone who stood between my children and I. Troy and I was just a classic episode of lust, his sexual desires controlled me.
My phone chimed, Sabrina had responded at the same time I smelled Polo Red. That bastard wanted to play, where the fuck was he going? He was holding his keys, but hadn't driven anywhere since the RV incident, I refused to inquire and saw an opportunity to move around for good. Knowing Nikki was fucking Von though I considered cutting her off, nothing personal. I decided I needed to move alone.
Sabrina had previously had a connection at the bank, Christy orchestrated the plan to open a second account in Veronica's name and request a transfer from an external account to fund it. She was perfect and brave enough, if she was no longer with the program I would remind her she owed me. I also had to keep in mind if she knew Goat, she'd likely known Kill, he could not catch wind of us being acquainted. "Yea, I saw it. Been busy what's up though," Sabrina replied, I could sense dryness in the message. The message bubble appeared and vanished as if she knew she had fucked up. "Meet me on the riverfront tomorrow," I texted. I was sure she needed money, at the same time I wasn't greedy enough to take it all. If Troy knew about the money he knew it was Twan's. The conflict lied within the fact he felt entitled, but his access was limited. Apparently he hadn't inherited it if it was still in an dormant account except for periodic transfers. Who had stopped them though? Why had they occurred after Veronica had died, and whose account were they going to? I thought about it, why would Veronica have deposited money that would have led back to her? Her share had been put in a safe, if so why would she open an account in her own name? It wasn't adding up, even if it had been in a different last name. Also, if Troy could surveil the home why hadn't he saw the murder? Why had she laid in the home for days unfound?
I heard the garage open, "Let's go," Troy Insisted, I declined. I had business to take care of.
Nikki was preparing to stand, she read Von's every expression. I got into the Charger wondering what Troy had driven the night he met Trenton, then I remembered the unfamiliar car that was driven into the home. What bitch was he fucking? Why would he have been driving a Volvo?
Yea, it was some strange shit going on, I trusted none of them muthafuckas. We left, "I need my handbag, where are we going?"
"Just ride, I got money," he said lighting a blunt.
He drove to the cemetery, the same one Boogie was buried in. I was in touch with reality again, I missed my son! I got out on my sore feet and ran toward my baby's grave while Troy walked to a grave opposite of the rows I neared. I fell to the hardened ground, the grass had rooted disrespectfully and had covered my son's resting place as if it had never been broken. "Talk to me son," I said. Why had Kerri given him to Daddy? She had taken him away from his friends, I realized it was all my fault! It was happening before my arrest, he wouldn't TALK TO ME!!! I was so upset! I was angry, no one had ever needed me! They need me now! They hadn't loved me! I returned to the car as Troy walked away from Goat's grave, "Today my brother's birthday, he would have been 36," he said. It was October 7. He ordered Take-out Chinese and returned home. Our conversation was cordial, I'd expressed my sentiments for his brother without a reply. What had he trying to prove? If he knew I killed Goat, and I knew I killed the muthafucka didn't he think I had the tendency to kill him too? Fear was mental and my psyche required suspense. He knew what it was, but what the fuck was his rationale? I asked as we climbed the freeway ramp, seriously. He responded by saying he'd never had a motive. Feel my skepticism.
As we exited the freeway I texted Nikki, she didn't respond. That was uncommon, she always responded. We went inside, I thought nothing of the unanswered text until I looked for my handbag. It was gone and Von and Nikki were nowhere to be found.
I tried to read Troy's initial reaction, it was as if everything had been staged. He was so unpredictable but I determined he would not take $16,000 when he could have taken 20. He'd actually paid to get it back and hadn't asked to be compensated. Two days passed, I became angry, she could tell by my text I was gone decapitate her ass, I had snapped. Troy couldn't even disagree with my rage, but on the third day she called. "I had nothing to do with the money being gone, I realized what happened when it was all gone."
GONE?
I was furious! That money belonged to my son, I would now test Troy's loyalty, Von had to die and I contemplated killing Nikki, I was bar none and tired of being played. That only woke up the old Hazel. I heard someone in the kitchen talking to Troy that night, he came into the bedroom shortly after with a large envelope and handed it to me, a note was inside with $50,000. "There's more where this came from."
I refused the money and walked outside, I needed to breathe! Why would Martin send me $50,000? Was it a setup? I could take the money and spare Nikki, or embrace the malice in my heart and remain livid, she'd only known the homeless Hazel and hadn't even had a clue.
She tried to explain he lost the money playing BlackJack quick, I knew he would not show up.
"Take the money," Troy said genuinely. Brown's voice became clear, he soon appeared in the doorway holding a duffle bag, the same one Twan left Pam's house with the night it was destroyed.
I found out everybody who had previously been sent to kill Twan, I had killed including Goat. Troy hadn't given a fuck he had inherited everything, he and Goat hadn't seen eye to eye, Troy was definitely the black sheep. He envied Goat and had been teased for being so black growing up, they were night and day. Troy's father Cliff had come into the picture and got with Veronica, she had soon turned his petty crimes into organized crime. Brown stared, I knew I hadn't looked as he had last remembered, however he observed and said nothing, not even about the message. When he left he responded, it lacked reference, "Don't be a woman seeking a dead husband."
I hadn't taken it as he meant I was searching for Trenton, I began to fear for my child's father. His double entendre made me realize I cared for that black ass nigga but I had to know if his courtesy was authentic.
I told Nikki I forgave her, and I tried---but I just couldn't respect a bitch that would let a nigga steal from her friend.