I was in a situation where I didn't wanna fuck with that Nikki bitch but I needed her, what other bitch was gonna climb mountains and cross wide seas for me? Surely she owed me and since she wanted to show her true colors I was about to help her taste the rainbow. My feet were swollen from pregnancy and injury, also if my calculations were correct I was 4 months pregnant, at least. Troy told me my court date had passed but rescheduled, I was slowly healing and I wondered if he would enjoy the unbruised Hazel as much, he had maimed me when he determined I belonged to him because I was indebted. How do u owe a muthafucka because they didn't kill u when they were supposed to? I entertained his logic mentally among the voices, observing his intonations while he spoke, the rise and fall of his comments were unadulterated, the sincerity of them lingered long after he'd spoken. He emphasized his desire for my best interests in his speech by the tone of his rebuttal, not by his words. He could also analyze how I submitted unknowingly. He humbled me like a child and my heart would leap when he would appear at times, my child would even react to his presence.
I was so chemically imbalanced, not reacting to what Nikki had allowed Troy to do was detrimental to my own health. I began to suffer the prior symptoms. I was enraged and needed to seek revenge. When I looked at them pretend to be an item and I thought back to the Nikki I met. Something had to be done, especially when the nigga didn't look, like he had lost the money and neither had she. I wanted to fillet that bitch but upon Troy's request I tried to let it go. I wondered if he really wanted to see what happened when I let shit go, off of the meds. HA!
I watched Troy play Call of Duty and became motion sick. I got up from where I sat on his bed and went to the bathroom, I was having second thoughts about meeting Terrica and decided to see how much information I could receive through messaging. In my mind I drew an equation, I soon narrowed down everyone I had to eliminate. The factors among them being spared relied on whether or not my physical reaction indicated they could live. I had to close my eyes to see people, because my physical sight wasn't about shit. The images I formed in my mind could be seen clearer when I closed them, the mind's eye was the looking glass for what I could not picture even when it was standing before me. I could produce imagery if I tried. My mother had once said, "I prayed and prayed, your father prayed. I began to think I was praying to the wrong one, apparently I was right."
Stay woke.
Those words haunted me when I was younger, but I knew I was a child of God. What I had been given were blessings, it was a way to see people clearer. I'd seen Von, after I'd laid eyes on him and he had gone. I was a pilgrim in a barren land.
When I exited the bathroom from--- just staring in the mirror someone had come, Troy no longer sat in the bedroom. I glanced and saw a female standing by the water fountain, I recognized her from Southern Classic. I had no energy to get upset, but why the fuck was she there!?
I stayed calm while rubbing my thumb across the crack on my screen and holding my belly but remained in deep thought. I pictured hitting that bitch across her back with a boxcutter and the wound opening up like a c-section. Fat bitch. She soon left after saying, "U know she didn't mean it, just call her."
Everything and everybody was coming for me at all different angles, I had refused to answer Mama's call and Martin called shortly after, he was inside of a room with an expensive bookcase I admired and I wondered where he lived. "Come to New Orleans, don't listen to anyone, be your own judge, we've all made mistakes. I forgave your father long ago u should have what was his,"he said before the conversation ended. At that point I think I even considered but what did he mean? I was tired of being confused I and wanted to see my sister as well as the know the truth. I would ask about her and Martin would say her and the baby were recovering. I could not ask "Is Trenton dead?"
I had heard, "It's been taken care of" before.
I decided it was time to have a genuine and sober conversation with Mama while I had a chance, also to tell her I had Kerri's car. After the unusual call ended with Martin I called her, she answered as if expecting me to call. Our conversation lasted for an hour and I had become enlightened on a lot, also my gut feeling had told me she was being honest about everything she had said.
She'd in fact left Martin for Daddy. Their lives of crime began when they were young, Nathaniel, Martin, and Percy were his running mates, they started petty but then became big time with robberies and different schemes to become rich. Martin hadn't cared if Mama left him for Daddy, and had no clue she was pregnant, " I couldn't raise my baby around that devil worshipper."
Daddy believed Kerri was his up until she was born, "I was pregnant the same time Claudette was, we both had girls, both were Martin's and were born with a weak muscle their eyes, just like he was. I heard she can't hear now poor child got hurt. She should be about 4 months younger than your sister."
Mama saw how hurt Daddy was so she began to pray for pregnancy to give him a child, but she said she just couldn't conceive. He would not touch her for months and she began to drink heavily, show up at church drunk because she knew he was fucking other women in the congregation. He had used the money he saved from the robberies and scams for his church. Something had made him run to the Lord wholeheartedly, the church he had purchased Martin burned it down. Martin had told him he would burn his church and if we were still home he was coming to burn us alive.
"The detectives came and questioned us, they found your father after u were born. They gave him immunity if he just testify against Martin. He did and he received 13 years, he had orchestrated a crime, his brother Cliff got killed. He had a child on the way when he died. Martin knew it wasn't safe, he just got greedy."
Mama said Daddy could not stand to look at Kerri but began to molest her, one day he just stopped but still had the urge. "I was so naive back then, and full of anger. I had run away from home and could not go back. I thought Martin and I were an item but he would bring all---types of women around! He was so disrespectful! Halfway through his sentence packages and money started showing up at the house your Daddy would take it from me. He wrote a letter that began 'The Bible says leave something behind for your children and your children's children.' The devil knows the word of God Baby, don't think he don't."
He was released from prison and tried to see Kerri but Mama refused. We were old enough to understand and she didn't want us to know.
"I thought maybe God hadn't heard me when I prayed constantly to save my marriage! I sacrificed and gave offerings, He was taking too long! Your father, I had to save him! He would have gotten caught! There were so many, I would hear about them and knew the way he would kill them! He soon began to hide them."
She had lost control of her emotions, I tried to calm her down and could feel Troy's presence. He'd been in the room long enough to hear what Mama had said. Trenton had told me Martin had his own brother killed, I didn't know Troy hadn't known until the call ended. How much thicker was blood than blood?
I pictured Mama getting drunk after the conversation, she had kept these details bottled up for years and I knew Daddy's new church also had burned.
"Oh, and what have u done? The detectives are looking for u, something about an fake insurance check, one came last week I have his number."
WHAT?
"I don't know what they are talking about."
I soon ended the call and turned around to see a pissed Troy, he was furious I could tell by his temples, and needed to calm down. He grabbed his head and said, "I been without a father because of that nigga? Ima kill his bitch ass! The devil can't save him this time."
Shit started flying around the room, I didn't know what the fuck to do, I had had the speaker turned on on the phone.
Mama had mentioned how Pam had been in love with Martin but he wouldn't look twice at her.
I knew I needed to do something to calm my man down, he was asking me why people wanted to keep testing his manhood? I couldn't answer that I told him to calm down and just close his eyes so he could see, he cursed me the fuck out.
Fuck Him.
I walked toward the door, he grabbed me by the arm and snatched me back. I was not in the mood to be manhandled. I turned around to check that nigga, he threw me on the bed, and straddled my legs. I rubbed his dick through his basketball shorts and after seeing he was hard I became puzzled. What the fuck man?
He leaned forward and said he would protect us in my ear, and wouldn't end up like his father. He could see what I saw to a certain extent, "That nigga Von on some come up shit, now he got work." He smirked.
Oh yea?
I think I may have tensed and then he said, "Don't worry, I got u," before putting his hand around my throat and gripping my hair gently. His lips against my neck were warm and so were his alcoholic breaths.
He struggled to pull his pants down with one hand and acted surprised to see I was pantiless, he knew they were all too small. My titties ached from his touch but he lifted my gown over my face and soothed my nipples with his mouth. The nigga was weird and needed sex constantly, especially when he was in his feelings.
I didn't resist him when he lifted my legs and entered me.
I visualized my cream on his dick since I couldn't see it. His strokes were long and weakening, "Get on your knees," he said. I refused as he slammed against my throbbing clit. The unexpected rush of euphoria had me dizzy, I squeezed my eyes tight hoping I didn't pass out while I felt him deep inside. Please stop.
He bit my shoulder but kissed it afterward, I didn't react to his teeth, "Get on your knees Hazel im serious," I couldn't if I wanted to he was rubbing me between my pussy lips with his thumb. He soon lifted my left leg higher contradicting his request to have me from behind. I could see him grinding me in the mirror on the dresser beside the bed, I bit my bottom lip and watched. He was fully clothed.
I closed my eyes again he lifted me off of the bed and went deeper, I moaned out of surprise and shivered as all my wetness erupted onto his stomach, pubic area and bed. I laid in a puddle, he insisted I turn over, still. Pulling the wet wife beater he wore behind his head I knew he was preparing to flip me, I began to run, he only gripped me around my thighs and kept going. He was so hard, and his curved dick was paralyzing, the temporary numbness in my lower spine would be alarming after his strokes. He pulled out, his dick laid in the crease of my thigh, I prayed for the doorbell to ring. Somebody help me! He needed release and was maniacal at the moment. I was afraid for my child to turn over! His pulsating dick told me he would soon explode and I wanted more, but not from behind.
I silently begged him to enter me again as I was. Instead he just turned me to my side, laid behind me and lifted my leg before going back in. Just as I felt a much anticipated orgasm and had relaxed he slid his arm under me and pulled me to my knees while climbing to the floor. I HATED THAT BASTARD! I TOLD HIM! I saw the imprint of his whole hand on my right ass cheek, he spanked me for punishment while I watched his white dick slide in and out. His pubic hairs had laid down from my wetness. I knew when he gripped my hair he would release and he did like a madman. I laid quiet and watched every muscle in his chiseled body contract.
Fuck him.
I began to fight him and his yet firm dick. I crawled forward as he pulled me back, entering me again. Fetally I laid and protected my child for the next hour.
I was so hungry afterward and wanted to shower. He insisted on going to Olive Garden, and carried me to the tub instead of turning on the showerhead. I was planning to leave and needed Nikki, I hated the fact I did but I would show that bitch a motive if she wanted to see one.
As if Troy knew what I was thinking, he said. "MP aint gone do shit for nobody if he can't benefit. U can't last long praying to the devil I know that, but that nigga swear he IS the devil."