Drinking in the middle of the week was not the best idea, as Mikołaj has already managed to learn painfully. In fact, however, he has barely seen his friend recently. Last weekend he was so busy with Stefan that he completely ignored Mirek. Work and new acquaintance could make the old friend feel neglected and maybe even worried that his new self had been rejected. Skrzynecki did not tell his colleague directly that he did not approve of his orientation, but with his behavior he could have given him reason to misunderstanding. It wasn't intentional. Mikołaj didn't really mind that Mirek was gay, but maybe he should have told him that more clearly. They have been friends for many years and have experienced more than one adventure together.
The evening was cold and it started raining. In the morning the sky was gray, but recently there was little sun anyway, so the rain surprised Mikołaj without an umbrella. Walking from the tram station to his favorite bar, he felt rain drops soaking his hair.
The bar wasn't crowded. Skrzynecki raised a hand in greeting with the bartender and went to the table where he saw Mirek. He sat alone with a glass of beer only one-third full.
"Hi. Why are you without Sylwek?" Mikołaj started to take off his coat.
"I didn't know if he would bother."
"He won't. Listen, what you're worried about ... You know, I don't mind."
Mirek looked at him crookedly, as if he didn't trust him.
Skrzynecki felt that he should convince his friend. He took a deep breath and decided to confess the truth. At least part of it.
"You know, if I were to reject you for sleeping with a guy, I would be a fucking hypocrite. Because you see, then in Tenerife ... I also tried. Since then I have occasionally had similar incidents."
Okay, I said that, Skrzynecki breathed a deep breath and felt strangely lighter, as if he had taken a heavy secret from his heart.
Mirek's jaw dropped so low that he almost hit it on the table top.
"WHAT? What? You don't want to tell me ...?"
Mikołaj nodded slowly.
"Your story interested me, so I tried."
"I would never have thought that you actually ..."
"At first I thought it would only be once. Until recently I didn't even try to repeat it, but recently I met him again ... Mirek, are you okay? What happened to you?"
"Nothing," he answered, wiping away his tears. "I'm just surprised."
"Don't act like a woman."
"Yes, you are right. I'm sorry. I assume you are hiding?"
"It's not quite like that," he felt slightly embarrassed. "It's complicated. We are not pair or anything, we just sometimes meet for sex. There is nothing to announce to the world."
"Sure. Sylwek's parents don't know either."
This somehow did not surprise Skrzynecki.
"And yours? It looks serious with you, so I'm wondering how your family took it."
"They don't know yet," he admitted. "To tell you the truth, I'm afraid to admit them, especially after I thought you ... Well, you don't accept me."
"I did not want it to look like this. I really have a headache at work. We could not get out of arrears for a long time, I was working on a new project, and now ..." he stopped. He did not want to reveal to Mirek the details, but talking to him over beer somehow made him feel better. "Well, new, troublesome issues arose. And on weekends ..."
"Do you meet anyone?"
"At least I met. Besides, I thought that now you have Sylwek and you will spend more time with him."
"Don't you know, these are two completely different things? A buddy is a buddy and a lover is a lover!"
Hearing this, Mikołaj felt like a total idiot. Well then! Stefan told him exactly the same, though in slightly different words. The fact that someone is gay does not mean that in every man he sees the object of desire, just like a straight guy does not attracted to absolutely all women. Normal, at least. There are mothers, aunts, sisters, friends, acquaintances, shop assistants and ... mistresses. Statistically looking women in the life of a man with whom he never slept and will not sleep is probably several dozen times more than those with whom he had sex. It must be similar with gays. There is simply no way to have sex with anyone you meet. Even thoughtless animals do not do that, let alone conscious and endowed with intelligence and socio-moral limitations beings. Therefore, when deciding to go to bed with someone more than once, that person becomes special in his own way.
"Right," he admitted, "but I still remember what it's like when you're in love."
Mirek cleared his throat.
"Well, maybe. Of course I would like to spend as much time as possible with him, but I don't want to give up everything I have had so far."
This statement, for some reason, gave Mikołaj pleasure. It was strangely warm compared to the atmosphere at work today. There everyone began to look suspiciously at each other, as if they saw a criminal waiting for handcuffs in everyone and avoided each other as if they were lepers. Mirek, despite a thousand of his own affairs, sought his company and missed him. That's how a real friend behaves!
"After you made up then, is he ok?" He asked. He felt a genuine interest in his colleague's affairs.
"Yes. Sylwuś is very young, although he is really mature for his age and I, although older, am inexperienced in such relationships, so everything is not always perfect, but we really love each other."
"Good to hear that. I hope he's not jealous of me anymore?"
"He'll start, if I tell him you turned this way," Mirek smirked.
"I didn't turn around at all," Skrzynecki said indignantly. "It's just one guy."
"Don't lie, two. The one in Tenerife and the one here."
"He's the same" for some reason, Mirek felt blushes on his cheeks.
"Seriously? Only with him?"
"Uh-huh."
"Man, this looks serious."
"Don't fuck, I said we only meet for sex."
Mirek nodded seriously.
"It starts with this. First, a hot, animal passion, indescribable magnetism of the bodies and then mesmerism."
"Don't get romantic here."
"Are you telling me you don't like him at all?"
"What? No! I wouldn't go to bed so many times with someone I don't like!"
"Aaaaaa ...!"
It reached Mikołaj, which he just admitted and felt strangely embarrassed.
"I just like him as a man. I like you too. I like colleagues from work. Don't confuse the terms, okay?"
"But if you don't go to bed with me or your work colleagues, it means that you like him a bit more," Mirek noted.
"Different," he admitted, blushing. "Not so much 'more' as different."
"I won't drill, but if you find you like him more than me, I won't be offended, you know."
"Get lost."
"Then let's drink another beer."
On the second it did not end. It wasn't until the third that Skrzynecki stated that it was necessary to end drinking. After all, he had to go to work tomorrow. Returning home, he wondered if he could tell Stefan their magic password tomorrow?
Mikołaj wanted to meet him privately. He wanted to feel his strong, powerful and sensitive hands. His equally forgiving and greedy mouths and finally this wonderful masculinity that pushes him inside. Sex with Stefan was too wonderful not to dream about it, not to desire it with every cell of the body.
Mikołaj felt shame in front of himself. It was embarrassing that although he decided to end his affair harmful to his career, his body still wanted a lover. Not just the body. Even Skrzynecki's mind created only his face, suggesting all those ridiculous, exciting images. Mikołaj was sure that in the whole witch hunt that took place in the company, only Stefan would turn out to be an adult enough to let it go. He was too intelligent, too matter-of-fact to rely on suspicions, and before he would treat someone as a criminal, he would have solid evidence against him.
Only that recently Szwedas looked madly busy and worried. Even overtime he extended beyond the limits of decency. In such a situation, he can just let it go and vent the sexual tension in a different way? For example, traditionally, picking up a girl at the bar.
However, he did not like this idea. Picking up the girl was not so difficult for him, because almost everyone liked his appearance, but Mikołaj decided that it required too much effort. He have to go to the bar, look for a girl who would physically attract him, put her a drink, talk to her and then try to make them both good. With all the problems at work, he really didn't feel like doing it. It was much easier without a fuss to go to bed with the Szwedas and let him take care of everything. And here there was no risk that sex would be unsatisfactory.
It would be good to meet Stefan, but he can't bother him at such a difficult time in business.
Although Szwedas probably also needed this type of relaxation.
Mikołaj sighed, turning the key to his apartment.
Is he really worried about the well-being of the guy who's fucking him?
Of course he did, he said, taking off his outer garment and taking off his shoes. As a guy, he knew that stress and overwork could affect life. It is true that he only experienced it once or twice while he was still at university, but he talked with his friends over beer a lot, just like now with Mirek. He did not want to put himself and Stefan in an embarrassing situation if he did not have time or the desire for sex and he will refuse hearing the password "Tenerife". So maybe it would be better to have fun in a slightly different way?
Skrzynecki unfolded on the sofa in the living room in front of his TV. It was almost twelve, so he'll surely find something interesting on some channel. He reached for the remote but didn't turn on the television. For some reason, what he wanted to do seemed strangely empty to him. Solo sex was no stranger to him and usually he did not differ much from unconnected meetings for one night, but with Stefan it was different.
With Stefan ...
Mikołaj blushed at the thought of the conclusions that came to him.
With Stefan it was not only sex, mere satisfaction of physical desire and venting accumulated liquids. With him was fun, adventure, excitement, pleasure and awareness that someone's strong arms trapped him, enslaved him, did not let him breathe or escape. They have him in their unlimited power just to lead him to the heights of pleasure.
When you tried sex with Stefan, there was no hope of getting similar experiences in anyone else.
Mikołaj regretfully realized that at this moment if he was thinking sex, it was only with Stefan.