I awoke to footsteps. From my corner I saw someone's feet march across the hardwood floor. Obviously, it was Ximenes, but something was off. As my eyes trailed up his body, I noted the blood on his hands and on his shirt, and my heart sunk. I took a wild guess at who's blood it was, and I knew I was right. I stood in place and cleared my throat. Ximenes' eyes brightened slightly when he saw me, then guilt flashed in them. He knew he was caught.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well I-"
"Who's blood is it?" I didn't let him finish.
"It's mine, I had a small accident-"
"Bullshit."
"What are you talking about?"
"Where is Ade!" I screamed
"I told you- he's dead. It's okay. As you know he really wasn't all that loyal to you anyways. I'm gonna sort through my shit. We can start new-"
"Don't you fucking dare!" I screamed. I was hysterical at that point. " If he's dead it's because you just killed him. But I doubt he's dead, even if he wants to be. You've been torturing him haven't you?"
"No-"
"That's where you randomely disappear to. I knew I heard you leave yesterday. "
"Nani you have to understand-"
"He's on this island. I should've known. I knew I felt his presence. I thought it was because he was alive but it's because he's right under my nose! I'm so fucking stupid! I should've known you wouldn't let your obsession with Ade go!"
"Nani slow down-"
"Either tell me where he is or get the fuck out of my way!"
"I can't-"
"Okay." I pushed him out of my way, rushed down the stairs, and out of the door."
"Nani please stop"
I ignored his whining and continued to run as fast as my legs could take me until he grabbed my arm. I instinctively backhanded him and all of a sudden it was like he was triggered. His fingers wrapped around my throat and it was like whatever progress he had made vanished. My hands flew everywhere, scratching and slapping his face, pulling his hair, clawing at his eyes, and finally he dropped me, but I wasn't done. I kicked at him and he yanked my freshly done braids, pulling me up towards him before he pushed me hard into the sand again. He may have said stop but I couldn't hear over the blood rushing in my ears. Before he could move I balanced on my hands and jump-kicked him in the stomach with both feet, standing up in the process. He doubled over. Then, taking advantage of his vulnerable position, I tackled him to the floor punching him in the face with every bit of strength I had. It was almost like he was giving up, but I didn't care. My mom always told me never hit a man unless you're prepared for him to hit back, but this time I was. I wanted to die almost as much as I wanted him to die. I didn't care how this ended. I just hoped one of us would be dead, and I was doing everything in my power to make it him.
"What did you do to him?" I screamed
"I did it for us." He mumbled.
"Bullshit. You've always had a weird obsession with him." he began thrashing
"That's not true! I'm not-"
"Not what? In love with him? Saying you aren't doesn't change facts. You took me because Ade suggested it. You want me because you don't want Ade to have me. You were always comparing yourself to him. Even when we were alone you brought him up. When you took me you could've left Ade the fuck alone! You supposedly had what you wanted, right? But no, you didn't. You didn't have him. In fact, I bet you took his sister out of jealousy because she was closer to him than you could ever be." he reached out and pulled on my hair again then pressed his hand to my mouth and nose, trying to suffocate me. I laughed pushing him off and going back to punching him. The adrenaline and the anger fueled me. Even as his face bloodied and I could see his body start to give up.
"I- I love both of you. You have to understand, he was the only thing...It's always been him...I can't...I tried... I'm sorry." he sobbed until his words were unintelligible and his eyes closed. I didn't hear him over the pounding in my ears. He became unresponsive to my punches and it only made me angrier. I stood and began kicking him in the ribs, hoping to hear the melodic sound of them breaking. I had already broken his nose and the sound of it was just...cathartic. I needed to hear it again. I couldn't even see what I was doing anymore, everything was red. All of my energy. All of my pain. I released it on his body. I knew this was a sin I could never come back from. Maybe I was becoming just like him. But I didn't care. To this day, I don't know where I got the knife from, or how. Maybe I knocked him out and went back to the kitchen in the house to retrieve it. Maybe I already had one on me for self defense, although I don't recall putting one there. All I can remember is my hands. Covered in blood. It could've been a second or a year since we started fighting, I wouldn't know. It was all a blur. One second his fingers were around my throat and by the time the fog cleared, he was dead. The stab wounds looked innumerable. The knife lay firmly planted in his heart, and I began to sob. I didn't even know what I was crying about anymore. I looked at Ximenes and a single tear dropped from my eye and onto his cheek. The blue eyes that used to pierce me were glazed over now. He saw nothing. I placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. He might not have deserved my tears, but the little boy, with racist, toxic, and abusive parents, who saw a little black boy and learned to love him did. A part of me, deep down, could've loved that little boy. I hated Ximenes. But for that little boy, I cried. Not in any way for who he became, but for who he could've been. Ximenes was charismatic, determined, and ambitious. He was a hustler. He had so much potential. Maybe if that little boy had a little more love, and a little less cruelty, he could've been something to be proud of. The system failed Ximenes, and he utilized that same broken system to profit off of other failed children. His experiences and upbringing made him cruel and selfish, but despite his flaws Ximenes Asier Moreno wasn't stupid, or physically weak. He let me kill him. He wanted to die. If he acknowledged that what he did was deserving of death, maybe he was redeemable. Maybe he wasn't one hundred percent evil. I won't ever know. The world won't ever know. The world will know him as the man who became a billionaire selling children, and no one can say that's not the memorial he deserves. What he deserved, was one last kiss on the forehead, a kiss his parents never gave him, and he got just that.