Disclaimer: Every reader is familiar with the typical fiction disclaimer. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Please don't forget to vote every chapter and leave a comment for your thoughts! Also, sorry for wrong grammars, punctuation marks, apostrophe or typo. English is not my first language, that's why. I am still learning, tho. But I hope you will still give my story a try. Thank you and I love you(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
~~~
"Mom, please! Can you j-just tell me? I am too tired thinking and predicting things! I am too tired—" I am not able to finish my sentence, mom hugged me. Really, really tight.
"Your dad died baby" Mom said directly. My eyes widened. My heartbeat stops. I don't know what to say. I felt my tears falling from my eyes into my cheeks. I wan to to shout to ease the pain. But, I am too weak for that.
I can't speak. My hands and knees are trembling. I don't know what should I feel.
"Mom? Why?" I said, crying. I can't clearly see mom because of my tears.
"Noelle, your dad didn't survive. He was stocked between two rocks. Rescuer didn't saw him. I am really sorry Noelle for bringing only myself. For going home without your dad" Mom explained, she stopped herself from crying. But, I saw how sad she is in her eyes. Eyes can't lie.
"How about this mom?" I asked then point out where I read the letter. Where, I knew that dad is not my biological father. Mom looked at that. She covered her mouth with her two hands.
She gasp. She grab the letter then she stared at it. Mom looked at me. "I guess you already knew. There's no way to keep this reality from you Noelle" Mom started.
I felt something strange. So, If I haven't known about this thing she won't still tell me?! I immediately removed that thinking in my brain. This is not the right time to blame each other.
"What happen?" I asked, pertaining to my biological father. What happened between mom and that man named Porter.
Mom cleared her throat before speaking, "When I was 28 years of age, I met you dad. Your real dad Noelle, Porter" Mom started. Mom sound normal.
I didn't speak. I am just staring at my own hands while listening.
"We met at the lake Noelle. I am sitting there because of family problems. It's financial Noelle. I am not from a rich family, I am just living downtown" Mom explained.
I stared at my mom right now. I didn't know that her life is like that. Now, I understand why mom kept working really hard.
"Your grandfather left me Noelle. My dad left me and my mom. I don't know where your grandfather go but, It's okay. Mom promised me that she will do her best to give me a comfortable life. Somehow, I experienced not until your grandmother diagnosed by cancer" Mom said, her voice broke. Maybe she remembered her mom, my grandmother.
My heart squeezed because of that fact. "You didn't tell me mom. All of those stuff, I don't know anything" I said with a blaming voice. I don't want to blame mom but, I think I have rights to know about my family. It's my family, of course I care!
" I want to tell you everything but, you're too young to understand Noelle. It's for your own good, I don't want you to be sad Noelle" Mom said gently. Out of nowhere, I felt heavy in my heart. It makes my eyes cry again.
"Do you think I am happy mom? Seriously?" I sound sarcastic. I can't help it. I want to explode. That's what I want.
"I thought that if you have this kind of life you will be happy Noelle. But, I was wrong. Expensive things can't make you really happy" Mom sounds sorry.
"How did you met dad? Dad Caleb" I clarified.
Because of my love to your grandma, I left Porter. Porter and I love each other, we used to talk near the lake thinking of our future. But, I love your grandma Noelle. She's only the one I have aside from Porter. Your granma sacrificed a lot for me and I can't just watch her dying with pain. And Caleb likes me, he asked me to get married to him, and he will support my mom for her check-ups and all" Mom explained. She's trying not to cry.
"I left Porter for my mom's life. I remembered how Porter try to please me not to left him" Mom laughed awkwardly. "But, I was so dumb to let him go. But before that, Porter and I have you Noelle. I am just sad that, it's too late when I knew that I am pregnant. When I go back downtown and look for Porter people said that Porter already left Philippines. He went in United States, and he will live there for good" Mom smirked then wiped her tears in her cheeks. Mom's nose and cheeks are red because of crying.
"Did you love that?" I asked. I am curious if until now, she didn't love dad even in just one day.
Mom smiled. "I learned to love your dad. Caleb is caring Noelle. He is an ideal man of other girls, it's just I known Porter first before Caleb" Mom explained. She even held my hand and stared at me, in my own two eyes.
"Sorry Noelle for being too much in you. Sorry if I overused myself in work and I just left you with Eleanor. Sorry if mom and dad doesn't have any time to spend with you. I am so sorry for being like this, sorry. But, I promise you that I will be right here to you. I will balance my time in work and of course to you Noelle" Mom said crying. She really sound sorry. I want to stop her from crying but, how can I do that if me, myself can't stop from crying also?
"How is daddy Caleb? He won't have a proper wake?" I asked. I want to give my time to dad. I want to be with him even he is not breathing... anymore.
"Government in Norway said that they will just cremate the dead bodies. We will just wait for your dad's ash Noelle" Mom said with apologetic voice. It's not her fault. All we need to do is to accept things even it's so hard to forget.
"Is this life mom? Does my life needs to be this complicated?" I asked with a teary eyes.
Mom shooke her head three times. She even touch my face to calm me, "This is God's will baby. Something good will happen. All we nees to do is trusth him. Trust God" Mom explained.
My brain doesn't want to agree with mom, but, my heart wants.
"How about my dad?" I asked. Pertaining to my biological dad. Mom frowned.
"I already explained that your dad ash—" I cut her off.
"I am pertaining to my biological dad mom! I really want to explode! I can't forgive you for keeping that as a secret. I deserve to know mom! When that disaster didn't happen in Norway I wouldn't know! When are you planning to tell me everything huh? When?!" I shouted. I said it without any gap. I want all of my questions to be answered.
"Look, I am sorry. I will make it up to you. Promise" She said.
Out of nowhere, I stood up. I stared her at her two eyes. I saw how sad and problematic mom is. But, nothing can changed. She lied to me.
I walk out, I run until downstairs. I saw Eleanor sitting in the couch beside Gabrielle. I run until I get out of our house. I want to be alone. I want to think. I need to accept and understand all information that I got. I can't stop thinking of that sh*t.
Now, I am here at the hallway. I don't know where is this. No one is here, I am sitting in the ground right now. Hugging my legs and cried.
I don't know what to do. Life is really a roller coaster. It will give you a fun ride and excitement at first...but, in then end you will experience ache. Different kind of aches.
I want my heart to stop for a moment. I want to be lost for a moment. I am too young for this kind of life.
"This life is what you really deserve Noelle" I said to myself while crying bent over. My tears fell continuously.
"You need to accept that world is unfair to you Noelle! You need to accept everything! This is your life! Nothing good will happen anymore! And my presence can't make other people happy!" I added. It can ease my pain. I want to remind myself to accept everything.
"You're a good thing that I received Noelle" I heard.