Chereads / The daisy / Chapter 20 - Chapter 18

Chapter 20 - Chapter 18

Bonnie

I told Freddy that I needed my bow tie to act better, he told me that it wasn't necessary at all, but I convinced him that it is, and he also agreed with me and he went to his room to fetch his clothes, it's not much what we wear though: I only use a red bow tie, rock gloves and sometimes a black tank top, and Freddy wears the parts where sleeve buttons are, a black bow tie, and a top hat, he also wears two buttons in the middle of his chest to make it look like a suit, he looks pretty good, even though he's not exactly wearing one.

I don't know if Freddy already realized that I don't feel good at all today, I can't stop thinking about that picture and what I felt, I feel like I'm going to puke my own stomach, or like going to bed and never come out again, or to drink from the toilet just to think about worse thing than that.

I just left my room, and I see Freddy still looking for his stuff. Chica and Foxy are not here now, according to her, they both are going to clean his cove up, I don't think it would be exactly for that, it might be something more personal, so I didn't want to ask for things that don't have anything to do with me. The curtains are closed, it will be better not to open them, just to prevent myself from the most awkward moment ever.

While I waited in the stage, I could hear that Freddy finally came out of his room.

"Ready?" Freddy asked.

"Sure, let's begin."

Freddy had brought, beside his clothes, a yellow file with papers in it. Shit! Isn't that the file where I found that picture? It seems those papers are actually sheets music, hopefully he hasn't realized about that. That picture that... How awful.

"Ok, Bonnie, here you go," he said giving me a sheet music, "these are the most common and great songs for Christmas, I think these are guitar's ones, I hope you can understand them."

Of course I understand them; while I worked in MoonLight, I learned how to read them in my free time.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I do," I said while looking at them.

"Ok, we'll start with this one, ok?" Freddy said pointing one in particular.

"Ok."

Freddy walked to the center of the stage to start singing, because this song has to start with the voice, and then followed by the guitar.

Freddy has just started to sing, I actually can't stop staring at him while he keeps singing, he's doing really well, and my eyes can't see the sheet music to start my part. Freddy looked back at me puzzled, the song just stopped.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked quickly.

"No, forget it," he said after hesitating. "You're ready now?"

"Yeah, I am now," I said happier than the last time.

Freddy hit it again, now I have to focus. I did pay my whole attention in my sheet music as I played all of my parts.

*   *   *

So far the rehearsal is going good, Freddy sings wonderfully, and I haven't make any mistake by playing; I hope this is enough for him to forget my gloomy behavior today in breakfast.

"Let's take a break," Freddy said while putting back his microphone in its stand.

"Ok," I said weakly.

"I'm gonna get a glass of water, you want something?"

"Could you bring me a yogurt?" I asked blushed.

"Yeah, sure!" he replied smiling.

Why do I still blush when talking to him? I don't feel that when I'm talking with Chica of Foxy, I already left behind that shy feeling of knowing new people, I feel now like they are old friends of mine, who I can play and have a good time with, but I can't understand why I still do it in front of him, is this feeling to him real? I thought I was going to feel like that in front of a beautiful girl, not in front of my own boss, am I nuts?

I can feel it growing inside me, I try to hide it, but I just cannot cease it. Freddy's coming back.

"There you go," Freddy said tossing the yogurt to my hands.

I can't stop thinking either, I just don't want Freddy to be worried about me, he must be worried about the own good of the restaurant, and not for my childish complains, but what I think it's worse, is to have a delicious apple yogurt without a spoon.

Freddy is checking something with his microphone while I'm here still thinking, I really want to ask him about it, but I'm afraid he gets mad because of stealing something, or because of me thinking about my boss that way, I don't know what he could do to me if he knew it. While I was still wondering, I felt that Freddy touched my shoulder.

"Hey, Bon!" he said smiling a little.

I got a little scared of that, however, I answered with a fake smile.

"Yes?" I said blushing.

"I just wanted to tell you that you've been playing absolutely well today," he said smiling.

He is so close to me, and he's also smiling, I feel so nervous, I feel like I can't think straight. Say thank you, come on, this may only happen once. Should I kiss him? No way! I can't think about him this way, but... I wanna kiss him, he's right here. I have a weird and pleasant feeling, it's really thrilling and exciting this little moment, should I do it?

"Thanks, Fred!" I said while... hugging him.

After a few seconds, suddenly my body reacted to what was going on, and what I must've done, so I pushed him softly away breaking the hug, and I ran away toward the kitchen, I didn't look back at his reaction: I just closed my eyes, hugged him, and push him away without a glance.

"Bonnie, wait!" he shouted while I kept running.

I closed the kitchen's door behind me, I think now I will pay for all I have done, I don't even know why I did it, wasn't that Freddy supposed to be the one that I saw in that picture? I think I just listened to some voice inside me that hinted me to do this, being so close and in front of me, I've never felt such feeling before; Freddy's got a really wide back, 'cause when I hugged him, I barely put my both hands together in his back, he has a warm shoulder too, anyway, there were a lot of feelings that I found in that moment. Why it cannot happen again? I heard someone knocking on the door.

"Bonnie, what happened? Are you ok?" Freddy asked.

The first time I didn't answer, but he insisted.

"Bonnie? Please, speak to me, what happened? Is something wrong?"

I feel so ashamed for what I just did that I think I won't be able to see Freddy without blushing and almost losing myself, or how to look like, or how to say something right.

"Bonnie, it's ok, don't worry, but please, come out here to talk about it, or let me in, Bonnie, please."

I really don't want to leave this kitchen, I feel my tears about to fall down from my eyes onto my cheeks, I don't want anyone to see me like this, I just don't.

"Bonnie," he regretfully said.

After more times Freddy knocked on the door, he finally gave up, I'm afraid he's already gone. Why did they have to move me from MoonLight? if I were still there, nothing of this would have happened, I wouldn't be so scared of speaking in front of Freddy, I would be with Frog and Hippo playing whatever they want. Why everything turned into this? I wanna go back! Then I felt how my tears were flowing from my eyes onto the ground. It's just me, sitting down on the floor against the door with the only one who has come with me all this time: loneliness.