Dear mother
I'm trapped in the dark about to reach out
That's when I look around to hear a voice speaking
When I look around but remember you don't have a mother
For you're alone in this world there's no female figure who cares enough about you
For you to put them up there on that high and mighty mother's pedestal
For nobody wants no female wants you as their daughter
For you are not worthy of their motherhood
I yell out I scream out as tears fall down my face
Stop talking Just shut up already It's not true it's not.. true
If that were so then why were you abused
Then why were you forced to call a woman who abused you who didn't want you who didn't love you... mother
Nobody forced you after it was just your father
Who told you too who made you speak highly of that vile being
And the person who birthed you is nothing more than psychological case who hears voices telling her to kill you
So tell me how are you wanted how are you loved how is it that anyone wants you to be their daughter
And as a response I sit there in silence thinking
Could she be right
That I'm not wanted that I'm not need that I'm not loved
That I'm nothing more than a waste of space to the point we're a female believes she has to abuse me or has voices telling her to kill me
I shake my head no stop thinking like that
As a new voice that's bartone reaches out to challenge the old voice of discretion
This new voice calls out look at me for you need to look up to see the realization
So I looked up to see a man standing there
He's covered in scars covered in all inflicting pain covered in all the wounds that cannot be forgotten no matter how much I try to forget
And he stands there smiling at me he embraces me despite the fact that I have hurt him
Therefore I do not understand why he is comforting me
And yet he looks at me as if he knows what I'm thinking telling me that he's the one who's been taking the brunt of it all
So I wouldn't be scared so I wouldn't be truly broken so I would be sheltered even without knowing it
This new voice tries to tell no this new voice over powers my own weakness
You are beautiful and you are loved
No I do not believe I'm beautiful but I do know I am loved
You are not alone
I know I'm not alone I just let that viperess make me forget about him the one who is the real voice that needs me to hear him
She made me forget who I actually am
That old voice the viperess bares her fangs trying to spread her poisonous lies
But she is slain as she reminds me of something
That I am motherless...
No I'm not motherless for there's a female out there who loves me the way I am
A female who encourages me
A female who's been there since the beginning..
I'm sorry that I've been saying that I'm motherless for so long
I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize that you are my mother
That you were the one who cradled me to sleep every night..
You were my constant for the first two years of my life
You were my everything no that's not true for still mean everything to me
You're not my mother by birth but you still are my mother
For calling you Aunt does not feel right
For it doesn't give me that satisfaction
That sense of peace that sense of belonging that connection that I've been longing for without realizing that I already have what I've been searching for
And with this realization I can breathe freely as silver light embraces my world dancing about in the dark
And I now know I am home I am where I belong
That there is a female who loves me just as much as her children to where she calls me daughter
And I can finally say I am no longer motherless for I have a mother