"Hey,"
I did not turn to Mark's friend.
"He really likes you, you know." I feel my insides clench as he spoke. "Mark." He says. "Mark really likes you." He repeats. "I'm not sure if you're acting blind by ignoring him like he doesn't exist but it hurts me to see my friend pouring out his feelings so sincerely when you don't even pay attention to the efforts he makes just to catch your attention.
"Ever since he met you, he's done things he never did before. He went to parties, stayed up 'till early morning to watch out for you, roaming around the city late night trying to find you – things that people do when they care too much about someone.
"I don't know you. Everyone knows nothing about you but for some reason, Mark thinks he really knows you by observing everything that you do. He tells me you're a good person deep inside whenever you do something bad. I can keep telling Mark not to like you but I know feelings don't just disappear just because someone tells you not to. If he says he likes you, I won't hinder him from liking you.
"But please, can you not throw him away like he's some kind of a cigarette of yours? You don't have to like him back. You don't have to acknowledge his feelings for you but don't push him back when he wants to be by your side. He's the sweetest, most caring person I know so for you to disregard him like he's nothing is painful to see as his best friend."
I gulped.
"If you can't even appreciate him as a person, I can never not see you as Lucifer's daughter as well."
I wasn't planning to suffer the consequence of seeing Polar in her wake. When she dies, I was helpless and the world just felt like it turned against me when it already did ages ago. I felt like I was slowly drowning from the misery of losing her after trying to save her for years.
"Aunt Felicity." I called the moment we reached her house. She looked behind and saw me with tears in her eyes. She took steps closer to me and gave me a tight hug which I barely returned.
"I'm so glad you made it. I was so worried you might not send off your sister properly." She pulled away and her attention goes to mark who was standing behind me quietly. "Thank you." Aunt said. "For bringing her here."
"I… It's…"
"I'll pay you back when I get my salary next month." I said.
Aunt Felicity shook her head. "Oh no. You don't have to. This is the least I can do for you and your sister. Earn your money and use it for your future."
I looked down before I scanned the place. There was no one here. The wake didn't feel like a wake. Polar didn't know anyone. I made sure she wouldn't suffer the misfortunes outside the hospital. The flowers next to her coffin smelled like her room at the hospital. She loved Angel's trumpets.
I blinked trying to hide the tears that were forming over my eyes. I cried enough to cry more. I wanted to be strong. I wanted this pain to stop but everything in here just reminds of the life she would have had if only she didn't die.
I feel Aunt Felicity's hand over my shoulder as I stood across Polar's coffin. No matter how much I try to stop my tears, they won't stop streaming down my face now that I was here. This is the reason why I didn't want to come in the first place.
"Your sister must be happy to see you here, Forest."
Are you happy, Polar?
"You're coming tomorrow right? To send her off?"
The thought of letting her go makes my heart ache. I'd keep her dead body with me for the rest of my life if it was an option but that's too immoral even for me.
"I already asked Ms. Khan to give us that day off so Forest can attend."
I turned to look at Mark. I let him slide for stalking the shit out of me but for him to go around telling people about these things he found out about me is just crossing another line.
"I didn't tell her anything, don't worry." He smiled. "I told her you got some personal things you're dealing with."
I was relieved. The last thing I want right now is for people to pity me for the things I've been through in my life. I'm not a sore loser who mopes around over things that time can heal.
"I'll go get you both something to eat." Aunt Felicity excused herself and walked to away.
"She's expecting you to be back in the lab after tomorrow though." The fucking project is the least of my concern right now. "To finish the project."
I looked away. "I'm not doing that stupid project anymore."
"You started this project for your sister," He paused. "Finish it for her."
When Mark found me yesterday, I didn't see his face – I saw a light. There was something about Mark that makes me do things the way he does things for me.
"I wouldn't do the project if not for you so," I turned to him. "Let's finish the project and make your sister proud of you." He smiled.
Ever since Mark's friend told me all these about him, I felt so uncertain and too bothered by it was affecting me. I know I wasn't doing anything wrong. I know I do terrible things but never did I feel guilty over someone I didn't take interest in.
"I only prepared sandwiches and lemon juice." Aunt Felicity came back with the snacks in her hand. I walked towards her and took the snacks.
"You can go rest, Aunt Felicity. I can stay up tonight to watch Polar."
She creased her brows in worry. "Would you be fine by yourself though? It gets—"
"I'll keep her company, Ms. Felicity." I hear Mark reply.
"I'll be fine. Please go rest. I'll just get home in the morning to change for the sendoff."
She flashed a weak smile. "Okay then. Eat whatever you please if you're hungry. I can't guarantee you'll like what you'll find but it's better than nothing."
"Thank you, Ms. Felicity."
"I'll get going then." I watched Aunt Felicity go up the stairs. When she was gone, I turned back to face Mark who was now siting politely by the table on the floor.
"Go home. You don't need to be here." I said, sitting across him by the table.
He shook his head. "Please get more depressed when they're alone."
Would he leave when he finds out everything about me?
"Besides," He stared at me intently. "I told myself I'm never letting you go once I find you."