Sometimes old wounds never heal. Sometimes they are like monsters that live under your bed. They lie in wait until you forget about them, then the smallest thing will remind you that they are there. Like the creak of the closet door or your eyes playing tricks on you in the dark. One day you hope, when you grow older, wiser, and stronger that these monsters won't chase you anymore.
But for some people, it's harder to outrun your demons.
Tiza's uncle was one of his biggest demons. In the split second that Sean snapped at Tiza, he resembled him. He resembled him in the way he used to tower over Tiza and intimidate him. He made Tiza feel weak and helpless, he made Tiza feel worthless, even more so than he already did. He left Tiza feeling like the safety net that was built in this new life of his had been slashed with a knife. A sinking feeling consumed him like he was drowning in quicksand and trying as he might he couldn't breathe; sand replacing oxygen in his lungs. It was like life came to a screeching halt.
Shutting himself up in his room the Omega leaned back against his door and with still shaky legs, slid down it coming to a heap on the floor. Thick droplets pooled in his eyes and spilled over and onto his cheeks. Finally, the dam had been broken. He had been broken. His eyes were distant, not even looking into the darkness of his room. He was violently reliving his past, the padlocks he used to keep them locked up now gone. Shattered to smithereens like his constitution. Tiza doubled over, curling himself into a ball, trying to become as small as possible as his shallow cries racked his body.
His hip stung as he pressed his knees into his stomach and a new wave of despair washed over him.
He wouldn't be able to see Aosh again...would he?
Why...why did the thought of that...hurt so much?
On some level, Tiza knew that he could do what he wanted. But the fear that had been instilled in him his entire life scared him into believing that he couldn't. His uncle made him believe that to be able to survive in this world you needed to submit to those that had power over you. To make ends meet you had to sacrifice yourself. And to please others you had to do it at your own expense.
Tiza had convinced himself he was over all of this, but all it took was a split second for him to regress. In the end, he still wasn't strong enough and he probably would never be. Tiza fell asleep by the door in a small puddle of tears and a hand cradling his sore hip.
Sean and Tiza didn't speak for days after their fight. Tiza chose to hole himself up in his room, save from when he had to leave for work. Even then it was like the soul got sucked out of him. He couldn't make eye contact let alone talk to Sean. Everything seemed hard and suffocating.
Sean deleted Aosh's number off his phone. Tiza didn't have it in him to fight Sean on that one. He does regret not being able to send one final text. An 'I'm sorry.' or 'Goodbye.' anything would've been better than nothing. Anytime Sean talked to him he couldn't help but tense up. Sean only allowed him to work and come home. He watched Tiza like a hawk, his meals now even more regulated than before. Sean's stern eyes made him nauseous. Most nights his dinner ended up in the toilet.
Tiza thought of Aosh's smile often. That stupid smile. He tried no to think about how he had abandoned the Alpha. He tried not to think about how hurt Aosh must be because he meant so much to him. It hurt too much. Everything hurt so much. Maybe he would be better off just...forgetting. If he forgot about Aosh, maybe the hurt would go away. So he tried. But Aosh was undeniably unforgettable. Tiza concludes that he was the worst.
"Tiza, how do you feel about being a part of a ballet workshop over at Rousseau Dance Academy in Stilton?" Momo asks one day during dinner.
Tiza looks up from his barely touched plate. Momo continues.
"Miranda and Katie told me they need another instructor for the program. They asked for you specifically."
Tiza shifts his gaze cautiously over to Sean.
"You don't have to worry about your teaching position over here. I can pick up your classes. Think of this as a...hiatus."
'In other words, you asked your friends for a favor to get me as far away from Aosh as possible.' he thinks.
"Yes and a change of atmosphere!" Momo chimes in, her smile couldn't be faker.
Tiza pushes his food around on his plate and nods silently in agreement.
Maybe this will help him forget.
Tiza doesn't quite know how he feels being surrounded by his peers again. Every one of his new pupils has a clear fire in them for dance. And as refreshing as it is, it's also sobering. They have big dreams and big things ahead of them in their careers. And he was stuck teaching and probably always would be. He was always stuck and some things never changed.
But he works diligently nonetheless, he still has a job to do after all. It helps take his mind off things if only for the time that he is here. He's a few cities over and away from Sean so he feels the tightness in his chest ease just a bit. Momo, being his ride to and from Rousseau Dance Academy, agreed to meet him at the front after his classes were finished and her shift at the receptionist's desk was over. After throwing his duffle bag over his shoulder and sliding on his street shoes, he is about to head out of the studio when he hears the doors open and close behind him.
A voice that's sweet as honey calls out to him,
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Tiza Jeannot."
Tiza feels his blood run cold and his heart stops.
It couldn't be.
He turns to assuage his fears only to see a familiar brunette Alpha standing behind him.
She looks as beautiful as the last day he saw her. Her eyes are as sharp as ever and her hair as fluid as waves. He doesn't know what to do, he feels cemented to the floor where he stands. She approaches him like she's always done since day one. The door closes behind her with a small 'click'.
"So this is where you ran off to. What are the chances that I'd find you here of all places."
"..."
She closes the gap between them even more so, her heels echoing throughout the empty room.
"I've missed you…" she says, reaching her hand out to graze his cheek.
Smack!
Valencia's hand retreats as soon as Tiza smacks it, but she smiles nonetheless.
"A little more feisty than I remember."
"Yea well things change," Tiza spits out and braces himself to walk past her and out the door. He wasn't going to waste his time talking to her no matter how his heart was racing and telling him to stay. He's caught off guard, thinking that he'd never see her again has left him unprepared for this.
"Really you think so? As I recall you were completely enamored with me and even wanted to be my fated mate. That is until you left me."
Tiza's fist clenches up and he turns around right before he opens the door.
"You're such a fucking liar!"
Her eyebrows raise and Tiza continues.
"I know you're not my fated mate so drop the act! Who does that, huh?! How fucking lies about that? You know, I still loved you after I came here, you were all I thought about and I wasn't allowed to go back! But you lied to me and you can fuck off!"
He goes to open the door again but it's forced closed as soon as he tries. Valencia traps him against the door, her sapphire eyes alight with something Tiza can't describe.
"I'm not your fated mate…?" her voice is sad, unlike the intense look her eyes hold.
"Don't play dumb."
She chuckles.
"Then I assume you found them, your fated mate," her eyes drift to where Tiza's collar is, "And you're still not mated?"
"..."
Her words sting like salt in a fresh wound.
"Regardless of whether or not I was your fated mate, didn't you love me? Did the time we spent together mean nothing to you? Your feelings were so frivolous that they were changed so easily?"
The memories he had with her were the happiest he had been in his life, up until recently. Valencia had meant the world to him. That was the past.
"Whether I lied or not Tiza, in the end, you still left me. After years of being loyal to you and you alone, was that what I deserved?"
She was close now, her chest close to his; her breath ghosting across his face.
Tiza opened his mouth to retaliate, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say.
Because he had loved her, he had felt such emotions before she told him she was his fated mate. Had things been different if she said she wasn't? Tiza honestly can't say.
Her eyes bore into him like she's waiting for an answer, but after a moment of silence her eyes just upturn in a smile and she pulls back and away from the Omega.
"Despite what you might believe, I'm not here for you. My company has actually just bought out this academy, and it will soon be a Lefèvre Dance branch. So if you don't mind I do have the rest of the facility to look at, not that catching up hasn't been fun."
She opens the door and walks out but not before saying:
"I'm sure I'll see you around."
When he meets Momo out front and gets into the car she mentions that he looks like he's seen a ghost and asks if he's alright. Tiza doesn't know what to say to that either.